Feeling out of place at the Gym

Don't worry about what other people are thinking! It is sooooo much more important to be a healthy person no matter what it takes. Maybe try a different gym. I used to belong to a 24 hr. Fitness but then switched to a local independent all womens gym. I feel MUCH more comfortable and go more often and achieve more while I'm there. Good Luck!

I feel the same way when I go to the gym. The thing that I keep telling myself is that I need to be there more than anyone else does and when they give me a funny look, I smile back saying to myself...ha! you have probably been skinny all your life and I have to work at it which will make me feel better in the end when I do make my goal weight. I try not to let it get to me but I can tell you that it has helped me to push myself harder knowing that "they" are watching you.

Just to make ya'll laugh...last week I was on the treadmill going about 4 miles an hour and I looked down and noticed my shoe had came untied. Naturally I bent down to tie it, forgetting that I was on a treadmill and WHAM!! fell flat on my face. It was peak gym time so the place was packed. I thought I was going to die of embarrasment.!! Anyways, I got back on, finished my workout and didn't make eye contact with anyone on the way out. :laugh:

Hey, I need to chime in again.

Don't assume that the girl next to you always had it that easy. I used to be one of the biggest girls in the gym. I literally worked my a** off to get to where I am today.

I had my first "judgement" experience at a party this past holiday. I said "no thankyou" to a piece of candy and the hostess said (and in a not nice way) "OH, you're so slender, why do you have to turn it down." It was everything I could do to remain polite. It was a real "a-ha" moment for me in how others see me, and what I used to believe about others. So, don't assume that folks who are smaller now were always that way.

We're all of us, every size and level, in this together.:flowerforyou:

Do you have a local community center? I can't afford any of the gyms around here so I looked into my community center. I pay only $50 a year!!! and they have EVERYTHING a fitness gym has plus more. My only problem is that it's filled with old people, lol, and sometimes I am embarrassed because those 85 year olds put me to shame.:laugh: you should see some of them go!

Hey...I don't know what gym you go to but I go to the Family "Y" and I would say that there are more 'average' sized people than the 'super skinny'. Maybe you should switch your gym? I mean if you feel that uncomfortable(which you shouldn't) you pay the same amount of money as they do and you should take just as much ownership in knowing that you are getting healthy.

A little story I was at the gym and there is one guy who looked to be in worse shape than I. I used to think that I hoped he would continue and not lose his motivation. Well one day I was on the elliptical next to him and overheard his conversation with another member. I found out that day that he had lost 178 pounds!!!!!! Must have weighed over 500 pounds at one point. I felt so silly feeling sorry for him he has already done what I hope to do. Needless to say I stopped comparing myself to anybody else that day and now know that I am the only one concerned with what I look like at that gym. Sure took a lot of stress out of my workouts.

Congratulations to you on getting out to the gym. You will really come to enjoy it when you let the negative self image go. Eventually you will be the one that the newbies are looking at and hoping to be like. The people that you and I worry about barely notice us.

How insightful!

Started out last March at 188. I am now down to 148. I wear a size 8 now. I too have felt and sometimes still feel what you feel. At some places a size 8 is like 6 sizes bigger than what most of the women are. Sometimes I feel like a baboon. But those women don't know a thing about me nor do I know a thing about them. For all I know they may have once weighed 480 pounds and spent the last three years working their butts off to get where they are. Shoot it has taken me just a year to drop 40. When I see people heavier than me at the gym I am impressed b/c I know how extremely hard it is to make that change. I know how miserable they must be on the inside b/c I have been that miserable too.

You are making a better life for yourself and that is ALL that is important. Walk in there with your shoulders tall and your head high and be proud that you are strong enough to want to make a change in your life and when you do reach your goal and can wear those skimpy little gym outfits take the time to look for those who are new, intimidated and can't wear those skimpy gym outfits and introduce yourself. Tell them your story and be an encouragement so they never have to feel unwelcome as you once did!! A little bit of positive encouragement can go a long way. The effects of being overweight do so much more than effect your physical health, but your mental health as well. One person being kind and extending a hand could mean a lifetime of change for someone who is suffering from the mental anguish of being overweight. I encourage you and everyone here to remember where you started and how you felt opening that gym door for the first time, how intimidating it was, the fear that made you want to turn right around and leave. Once you reach your goal still remember b/c there will be someone coming in that door that feels the very same way you did. I encourage you to reach out to that person and be an encouragement to them, make them feel good about opening that door the next day and the day after that. Who knows, you might make a lasting friendship or you might just change a life.

People only have the ability to make you feel bad if you let them. Don't give that kind of power to just anyone. Give it carefully and judiciously, only to those closest to you. If they prove to be unworthy of that trust, take the power back!

I'm not going to the gym to "fit in" of be something that I'm not. I'm going to improve my health, my weight and my outlook on life. I have a beautiful wife and wonderful son and I want to be around for a good long time to enjoy them. I also want to be able to wrestle and hike and play ball with my son without getting winded. I want to be healthy!

Notice that nothing I mentioned has anything to do with what anyone else thinks or looks like.

I read your post and immediately thought of what I do to get over that...

When someone comes and gets on the treadmill next to me I have a "conversation" with them in my head. Weird, I know but this is how it goes...

"Oh, you wanna race? Come on, let's go!"

This gets me going. They may be going faster than me and outlast me, but I still win simply because I am there!

Don't worry about what anyone else is thinking about you.. out-think them!

Good luck... I hope this helps...
Angela :flowerforyou:

I used to feel like that too. So bad, in fact, that I didn't even go at times because I was so embarrased at my panting and sometimes I still feel like that. However, now that I've been going a bit more often I can hold my own with some and that feels amazing! So hang in there. I tend to just put on my headphones and zone everything else out. Works well.

When I started at my gym I was a size 18/20. There was a good mix of people at the gym of all sizes and abilities but to tell you the truth, I didn't pay attention. I was there for one reason alone - me! Sure you see the little 20 year old girls with the bikini bodies working out beside you or doing aerobics while you are huffing and puffing away - how can you possibly miss them. I would put on my headphones, look at the tv's and work my *kitten* off until I burned 1000 calories per gym trip. Nothing would stop me.
I would work out in sweatpants and a sweatshirt so no lumps or bumps would show and then when I started seeing results - it was all shorts and a tee shirt to show off my progress. Not for them but for me. I could look in the mirror and see my bootie was shrinking and so was my chest. I could see my muscles emurging from under the many layers of fat and I was proud!
My advice to you is to focus in on yourself while you are there. Look in the mirror and admire your assets and flaws because honey, it only gets better everytime you go. Each bead of sweat on your forehead is a fat cell crying because it doesn't want to leave your body, but you are gonna make it leave with every step you take.
If you look at these girls and wish you could look like that, then make it your motivation to be the best person you can be. In the best shape of your life with the best shape you can achieve!
Girls can be b*tchie sometimes too and say mean and hurtful things, yes. But you are better than that because you can rise above and achieve anything you put your head and heart into.
Can you tell I have been ridiculed before? You bet. It hurts for sure but once you get past the fact that people aren't at the gym to look and see if your butt is bigger than theirs you will be fine.

I hope I don't come across as being mean or nasty or anything. That is not my intent. I just want you to know that from a fat person who has been through it, If I can do it - you can too. Your worth it!

Good luck, take care and stay motivated!
Charlene :drinker:

When I lived in Oregon I tried all the work out places in the area on a two week trial period; some even let me do a month so I could try classes, etc. I opted to do the women's only gym. I joined with a group of friends so I always had a buddy. We were all about the same size and had similar goals so I rarely felt intimidated. I loved that fact that my trainer was an average size person who wasn't a size zero. She was fit, but not supermodel material.

Interesting fact that you might not think of--I looked into buying a gym once and I had a chance to look at the books. Gyms make far more money from people who drop out and are locked into paying out their one or two year contract than they do from people who actually GO to the gym. People have the mindset that if they have to pay, they'll go, but that is rarely a motivator. If you asked everyone at the gym why they go, I doubt that one person would say, "Because I want to get my money's worth."

Something else you might try, strike up a conversation with someone on the treadmill next to you. Just like the man who had already lost many pounds, every person has an interesting story to share.