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Okay so first things first. When you say you're actively trying to lose weight, what are you physically doing to make that happen? You also say you're sick of a lot of things, your world doesn't have to revolve around fitness 24/7 and you don't have to focus on your steps. Take each day for what it is. Whether you walked a lot for work or running errands, each step adds up. I don't even look at my steps till I go to bed, I don't look throughout the day to see where I'm at. Why? Because the steps are an added bonus, they are part of every day life and you don't have to change what you do to burn calories. You simply walk and over time it's adds up.

As for your reasons to lose weight, those are personal. We have to set reasonable goals and over time they will add up to a huge goal. There's nothing saying being healthy is easy. If it were we wouldn't have to worry about out obese people whether it's a medically created or out of emotions. Finding love doesn't really have anything to do with whether you are supermodel material or if you have some extra weight. True love will accept you for who you are and will support your choices you make. They will stand behind you and push you to do better and be a better mother/wife/girlfriend/friend.

Clothes don't "sell" a person to make them more acceptable. So what if you don't have high clothing. If you did you'd be wasting money on things that you honestly don't need. Personalities "sell" people, connections sell people, conversations sell people. High end clothing only hides what you don't want people to see within you. They see the clothes and think we'll *kitten* she/he has nice clothes, they must be loaded or their life is on track.

If you find a man who doesn't accept you for who you truly are, then yes you're wasting your time. There are men out there that are in the same boat as you. You are good enough, don't tell yourself you're not. If you go into life with that mentality you're setting yourself up for failure. Go into like being optimistic, focus on even the smallest amount of good and you'll see that it's really not that bad. You have to put forth the effort to sort through all the junk, bad things, to find the one positive thing and hold on to it.

It doesn't matter who is saying what or who is lying. The world unfortunately is full of lies and truths. The ones that matter the most is what YOU think about yourself. Not what someone else thinks about you. If we all took everything people said to us to heart we'd be some pretty low people and it'd be hard to dig out of it alone. That's what MFP is great for. There's so many people that you dont even know who are willing to help you make the transformation and be supportive through the whole process.

You can't be sick of your life, if you were sick of it you wouldn't bother changing a thing and just accept who you are and leave it at that. You care about your life and that why you're making positive changes. You're getting to know yourself all over again. The gym has become my home along with MFP. I spend a lot of time at the gym because I want to see my results and it's my stress relief.

You don't have to completely cutout every bad food. Start slow, eat a healthy snacks for a little while. Then switch one of your meals to something healthier for you. Slowly work your way towards a clean diet.

You're welcome! You can vent to me anytime you need to. I'm all ears. I hope this helps you, truly I mean that. You have what it takes to get where you want. Start small and work up from there!