Having trouble getting started and getting very frustrated

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A little history: I am 5'10", and was 135lbs at my lowest. I felt great at this weight, and I'm small framed so I wasn't too tiny. I went up to 225 with my first daughter. Through cardio and sort of watching what I ate, I got back down to 158lbs.

I then went up and down through the years. With my second daughter, I was at 265lbs!! She is going to be 1 year old in 6 days and I am still at 255lbs. My ultimate goal is to get back down to 135, so I have 120lbs to lose.

I know what I have to do, and I start each day with a fruit and protein, and with good intentions. Then I get to work and go to the cafe for lunch. From that point, my day is horrible!

I am getting so mad at myself for not having any willpower at all. Any advice or ideas on how anyone got through this sort of problem would be great.
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Replies

  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
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    Stop doing that.
  • goingoffthegrid135
    goingoffthegrid135 Posts: 26 Member
    edited February 2017
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    bbell1985 wrote: »
    Stop doing that.

    Thanks! :smiley:
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    There's a great book about old habits and willpower by Duhigg. Google The Power of Habit. I'm betting his ideas will hit home for you and give you new strategies to try.

    The link below is to a book and program that went with it was a life transformer for me.

    https://www.bullpub.com/catalog/Living-a-Healthy-Life-with-Chronic-Conditions-4th-Edition

    The basic strategy for any life change is to analyze where you might be going wrong, brainstorm a solution, try for a week, and assess if it worked. If not, adjust your strategy. Repeat.

    I think your breakfast is too small to tide you over. Also, start planning and packing your lunch ahead of time.
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
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    bbell1985 wrote: »
    Stop doing that.

    Thanks! :smiley:

    lol I hope you didn't take offense. I struggled for a bit when I got back at it too. Then I just had to "stop doing that" and if I did do that, I had to log it. And that sucked to have barely any calories left for dinner so....stop doing that!

    Bring your lunch. Don't make it difficult. Put a crap ton of veg in a bowl, add a lean meat, season it and drink a dang diet coke.
  • sumrdream
    sumrdream Posts: 25 Member
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    It really is mind over matter....but try doing something different...try eating eggs and bacon cut the sugar, fruit and carbs out of your diet and you will lose fat. Up your good fat intake, coconut oil, olive oil, grass fed butter, bacon, avocado. Fats do not make you fat! Your body will feel full, you won't be hungry and it helps with cravings. Check out the book Practical Paleo by Diane Sanfillippo. This is how I eat and I lost 45 pounds and cured my year round allergies. Good luck! But you at some point have to really decide that being healthy and thinner is better than eating the donut in the breakroom! If I can do it, you can do it!
  • Pooshka2
    Pooshka2 Posts: 207 Member
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    bbell1985 wrote: »
    Stop doing that.

    That's perfect advice!

    Remember when we were kids, doing something we shouldn't be doing? When mom said in that stern, loud voice, "Stop doing that!" we did! And, it's more than likely we didn't do it again, especially if gave us a little slap on our bottoms or hands.

    We all need to instill a "mom" into our systems to tell us to "stop doing that!" whenever we're over cheating or making excuses to not exercise. We certainly can't slap our hands in the cafeteria to put that doughnut back on the shelf, but if we can get those three little words to creep into our heads, maybe we'll be better behaved.
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
    Options
    sumrdream wrote: »
    It really is mind over matter....but try doing something different...try eating eggs and bacon cut the sugar, fruit and carbs out of your diet and you will lose fat. Up your good fat intake, coconut oil, olive oil, grass fed butter, bacon, avocado. Fats do not make you fat! Your body will feel full, you won't be hungry and it helps with cravings. Check out the book Practical Paleo by Diane Sanfillippo. This is how I eat and I lost 45 pounds and cured my year round allergies. Good luck! But you at some point have to really decide that being healthy and thinner is better than eating the donut in the breakroom! If I can do it, you can do it!

    You don't lose fat simply by cutting carbs, and if you over do it on fat you can stay at maintenance or go into a surplus, no matter how "good" the fat is. There are lots of ways of eating though, yes. Different strokes for different folks.

    I for one need a mixing bowl of food so I stay at the minimum fat goal for women.
  • shellyae
    shellyae Posts: 34 Member
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    The Beck Diet Solution is a good book to help train your brain.
    I agree with the above post to bring your own lunch. I bring my lunch every day. Sometimes it's leftovers, a salad with chicken breast, a wrap, or when I don't have much time to prepare anything (or am too lazy), I'll bring soup or a frozen meal and add extra veggies and sometimes even an ounce or two of chicken to make sure it fills me up and it doesn't add much for calories. Just be sure to watch the calories of the frozen meal itself.
  • JCcatalyst
    JCcatalyst Posts: 11 Member
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    I'm the same height and 200 well 196 today and happy at 160 165 I'm doing my fitness pal with my daughter and logging everyday hard but lets you know how much we actually eat. Portions are huge these days and cutting them is helping and paleo no grains limited dairy and it's working! And yes to the packed lunches!!!
  • dianemvalentino
    dianemvalentino Posts: 3 Member
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    Find a support system. I got hooked up with My Fitness Pal by a weight loss program at work called "Why Weight?" There is a nutritionist (who looks at my food and exercise log) and I meet with my group every Friday for 3 months. I started with a simple goal- mine was "log all food and exercise". I also set up my weight loss goal at 1lb per week so I get 1500 calories a day. That is doable fo me without starving. My goals are set up for one week at a time and if I meet that goal, then I get a "treat". My treat is non-food. Something like a new pair of athletic shoes or a pedicure. I am trying to make it about rewarding me. I can do anything for 1 week. Having group support is helpful. There is support and accountability. Fad diets don't work. Not for the long haul. There is great support online, too and great recipes!! Good luck to you. Just getting started is tough. Even if you loose only one pound a week, positive self-talk and rewarding yourself for every little victory is important!! You got this!!
  • goingoffthegrid135
    Options
    jgnatca wrote: »
    There's a great book about old habits and willpower by Duhigg. Google The Power of Habit. I'm betting his ideas will hit home for you and give you new strategies to try.

    The link below is to a book and program that went with it was a life transformer for me.

    https://www.bullpub.com/catalog/Living-a-Healthy-Life-with-Chronic-Conditions-4th-Edition

    The basic strategy for any life change is to analyze where you might be going wrong, brainstorm a solution, try for a week, and assess if it worked. If not, adjust your strategy. Repeat.

    I think your breakfast is too small to tide you over. Also, start planning and packing your lunch ahead of time.

    I just logged my meals for tomorrow, but will have to add more. I logged them so maybe I will stick with it. Thanks for the link, I will definitely look into it.
  • goingoffthegrid135
    Options
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    Stop doing that.

    Thanks! :smiley:

    lol I hope you didn't take offense. I struggled for a bit when I got back at it too. Then I just had to "stop doing that" and if I did do that, I had to log it. And that sucked to have barely any calories left for dinner so....stop doing that!

    Bring your lunch. Don't make it difficult. Put a crap ton of veg in a bowl, add a lean meat, season it and drink a dang diet coke.

    No offense taken. It made me laugh out loud because it's so simple, yet it's not. Thank you
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
    Options
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    Stop doing that.

    Thanks! :smiley:

    lol I hope you didn't take offense. I struggled for a bit when I got back at it too. Then I just had to "stop doing that" and if I did do that, I had to log it. And that sucked to have barely any calories left for dinner so....stop doing that!

    Bring your lunch. Don't make it difficult. Put a crap ton of veg in a bowl, add a lean meat, season it and drink a dang diet coke.

    No offense taken. It made me laugh out loud because it's so simple, yet it's not. Thank you

    I know it's not. I had been meaning to get back into a deficit for months but I couldn't stop shoving the mini pretzels at work in my face...for months. I gained like 5 lbs this fall doing that.
  • goingoffthegrid135
    Options
    Pooshka2 wrote: »
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    Stop doing that.

    That's perfect advice!

    Remember when we were kids, doing something we shouldn't be doing? When mom said in that stern, loud voice, "Stop doing that!" we did! And, it's more than likely we didn't do it again, especially if gave us a little slap on our bottoms or hands.

    We all need to instill a "mom" into our systems to tell us to "stop doing that!" whenever we're over cheating or making excuses to not exercise. We certainly can't slap our hands in the cafeteria to put that doughnut back on the shelf, but if we can get those three little words to creep into our heads, maybe we'll be better behaved.

    You made me think of something. When I was quitting smoking, I put a hair tie on my wrist. Every time I wanted to smoke, I snapped the sensitive part of my wrist. So, I can't slap myself on the hands but I can snap my wrist. I know it sounds weird, but it stopped a 16 year smoking habit.
  • goingoffthegrid135
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    Thank you everyone! Sometimes, like today, I do take my lunch. But then I use stress as an excuse to go get a burger and fries. Then I feel guilty. Stress isn't an excuse to eat crap, I have to get that through my thick skull :smile:
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 13,786 Member
    edited February 2017
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    Fixed all this for ya!
    sumrdream wrote: »
    Up your good fat intake, coconut oil, olive oil, grass fed butter, bacon, avocado. Fats do not make you fat!
    What makes you fat are excess Calories!

  • goingoffthegrid135
    Options
    PAV8888 wrote: »
    sumrdream wrote: »
    [Fixed all this for ya!] Up your good fat intake, coconut oil, olive oil, grass fed butter, bacon, avocado. Fats do not make you fat! [What makes you fat are Calories!]

    Can I ask why "no" to coconut oil if used in moderation?
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 13,786 Member
    edited February 2017
    Options
    PAV8888 wrote: »
    sumrdream wrote: »
    [Fixed all this for ya!] Up your good fat intake, coconut oil, olive oil, grass fed butter, bacon, avocado. Fats do not make you fat! [What makes you fat are Calories!]

    Can I ask why "no" to coconut oil if used in moderation?

    Nothing special about coconut oil. Current reviews of various studies and claims about health benefits and it working differently than other saturated fats seem to be leading to a circle of no different than other saturated fats. So... maybe marginally better for health than animal derived saturated fat... maybe not.

    Above based on current recommendations from New Zealand, Australian, American Heart associations.

    Further:
    https://cspinet.org/tip/coconut-oil-myths-persist-face-facts
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26946252

    No objection to using it in moderation. Coconut oil and "GRASS FED" (as opposed to non grass fed, I presume) butter were promoted as GOOD. Good is a step beyond using it occasionally as the fancy strikes.

    Current recommendations for saturated fats in general are that they should be limited (AHA recommendation: < 6% of daily calories) http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/HealthyLiving/HealthyEating/Nutrition/Saturated-Fats_UCM_301110_Article.jsp#.WJPz0VUrK70
  • VickieZureich
    VickieZureich Posts: 37 Member
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    I liked this link..i reached my first goal but struggling to get back on track..had foot surgery with pins in toes for 3 more eeeks, no exercise with foot..gonna use bands tomorrow and journal..
  • MontyMuttland
    MontyMuttland Posts: 68 Member
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    bbell1985 wrote: »
    Stop doing that.

    ^^ This!

    Early on in my weight-loss journey I heard this wonderful mantra, and I repeated it to myself many many times over the next year:

    Suck it up or stay fat!