Impatient at 2 lbs/week

I know everyone says 2 lbs a week is the absolute max you're supposed to lose, but does anyone else with a lot of weight to lose get impatient? I have 60-75 lbs to lose and I hate that I've got to wait like eight months before I can start dating.
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Replies

  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,954 Member

    did you gain it at 2lbs a week?
  • seska422
    seska422 Posts: 3,217 Member
    Where's the fire? Where was the fire last year, two years ago, five years ago, ten years ago?

    If you'd started two years ago, you'd be there by now. You didn't start two years ago, though.

    You can't walk into a magic booth and walk out looking fabulous. You have to put in the work and the patience.

    You want a certain type of woman that wouldn't accept you how you currently are. You can't date that kind of woman now because of how you currently are. That leaves you two choices: wait until you are perfect (which may never happen) or adjust your expectations.
  • momar74
    momar74 Posts: 56 Member
    Ninkyou wrote: »
    OP, you really need to seek professional help.

    I think this is also at least the 2nd thread in a week stating the exact same thing. Learn some patience. Do you really think any of us here didn't want the weight gone immediately? The problem is that there's no instant gratification in weight loss. We all had to learn to lower our expectations, be patient, and trust the process.

    You however, based on posting history have tons of red flags. You need to deal with your self harm and body image issues with a professional. Even if you lost the weight tomorrow, doesn't mean it's going to fix your problems or dating issues or anything else.

    This is great advice, I was going to recommend the professional help part also. A licensed mental health professional can help OP sort out where the disconnect is.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,874 Member
    This is the 3rd thread of this ilk I've seen you start. Please stop posting threads on an Internet message board expecting different answers and schedule an appointment with a professional. I'm truly concerned for you mental well-being at this point.
  • RobertWilkens
    RobertWilkens Posts: 77 Member
    There's always that surgery... But besides it being risky and doing unnatural things to your body, everyone i've heard of that did it gained the weight back because they didn't change their diet. I guess liposuction might be an option too..

    Also, if you're the type to gain weight when you're not dieting, be prepared to continue to "diet" for the rest of your life (or track here, but set goal to maintain rather than lose).

    -Rob
  • Reaverie
    Reaverie Posts: 405 Member
    I know everyone says 2 lbs a week is the absolute max you're supposed to lose, but does anyone else with a lot of weight to lose get impatient? I have 60-75 lbs to lose and I hate that I've got to wait like eight months before I can start dating.

    I have to agree with Annie on this. Why do you need to wait? You probably won't be happy with someone who would judge you based on weight anyways. What if, God forbid, something happened that limited your mobility and you gained it all back?

    It's not your weight that is the problem, it's your confidence in your worth. I do understand where you are coming from though. I have to fight the internal urge not to aim for more. I don't want to look like a deflated balloon.

    I'm not saying don't lose the weight, but don't do it to be pleasing to others.. do it for you. I dated 4 guys over 400lbs when I was fit. I liked their intelligence and confidence. Someone will like you for you.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    I know everyone says 2 lbs a week is the absolute max you're supposed to lose, but does anyone else with a lot of weight to lose get impatient? I have 60-75 lbs to lose and I hate that I've got to wait like eight months before I can start dating.

    You don't have to wait 8 months before you start dating...
  • seska422
    seska422 Posts: 3,217 Member
    edited February 2017
    I don't want to date a woman who finds me attractive as I look right now, and I don't think it's wrong for a woman to want a slim, attractive mate just as much as a man does. Looks are what usually gets your foot in the door.

    This is about pleasing both of us. If I thought I looked attractive, I wouldn't be on this site.

    You've made that clear. It's not actually relevant to the point at hand. It's your "why" but doesn't have an impact on "how" or "when" which all we can give useful advice about since you are not willing to change your "why".
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
    Last time you looked for motivation and support and advice all you did was ignore it and keep repeating yourself.

    What are you hoping to hear this time? Tell us.
  • Reaverie
    Reaverie Posts: 405 Member
    I don't want to date a woman who finds me attractive as I look right now, and I don't think it's wrong for a woman to want a slim, attractive mate just as much as a man does. Looks are what usually gets your foot in the door.

    This is about pleasing both of us. If I thought I looked attractive, I wouldn't be on this site.

    It's not about them finding you physically attractive now (I didn't think the guys I dated looked attractive at all and I did my best to encourage them to diet), it's about finding someone who isn't going to leave you just because your looks are deteriorating. There is nothing wrong with having a type. I have a type. Everyone has a type! And in a perfect world everyone would find their perfect type. But you get what you pay for. And if shallow is what you seek, you will be right back on here making red flag posts because you couldn't keep her. You can find your type now that accepts you as you are but loves you enough not to let you stay that way. Then when you are so old you are bed ridden, she won't care about your wrinkles or weight. At the moment I kinda feel sorry for whoever you end up with. She will be getting a shallow basket case.
  • Nikki10129
    Nikki10129 Posts: 292 Member
    Just want to say, I'm certainly not where I want to be yet, but I find myself attractive and guys have too. If you can't accept yourself and get some patience this is never going to be a long term thing. You aren't going to suddenly feel confident enough to put yourself out there when the weight comes off, it's not some magic confidence pill people think it is. Skinny people are just as capable of hating themselves and their appearance as bigger people.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    I met my husband when I was extra large and he liked me that way. I decided to get to a healthy weight and he supported my plans. He's the same goofy, sweet guy I met fifteen years ago and we still are each other's best friends.

    I say don't wait to date and make friends. Challenge your disordered thinking and stop blaming the scale.
  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,581 Member
    edited February 2017
    I don't want to date a woman who finds me attractive as I look right now, and I don't think it's wrong for a woman to want a slim, attractive mate just as much as a man does. Looks are what usually gets your foot in the door.

    This is about pleasing both of us. If I thought I looked attractive, I wouldn't be on this site.

    I think I look attractive and I'm on this site, so...

    As mentioned in your many previous threads, Ricky, you really need competent professional help with your body image and self-harm issues. I know you've mentioned previously that nobody could help you - that you seemed to know more than they did - but if you are truly looking to change your life, (instead of just complaining about it) you *have* to start from within. Otherwise, even if you do lose the weight you think you need to in order to attract a woman that meets your unrealistic criteria, she still won't find you attractive enough to stay with the person you've become on the inside.

    Once again, please get help. Continually starting threads like this one expecting different answers is just burning daylight. :(
  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,097 Member
    There's no way I'm attempting to date looking like this. I'm not saying I don't go out with friends, but I don't want to date a girl who'd have to settle for someone my size.

    No matter what weight that you are do you really want to date someone that "settles" for you?

    To answer your first question...YES...most everyone gets impatient at some point especially at first.

    IMO...many of us at one time or another has body image issues. I have them myself. There are a couple of issues that I have...one I can fix...the other I can't.

    Does that issue bother me...yes. There were times at first that I thought what was the use in trying to lose weight and get fit. There were times that I thought losing weight was pointless. Matter of fact the more weight that I lost the more pronounced that my "body deformity" became.

    Here were my choices...I could stay fat and sedentary...or...I could lose the weight, become fitter, be able to do the things that I wanted to be able to do. I chose to lose the weight and become fitter.

    Not a day goes by that I don't look in the mirror and am reminded that I can't change what I see. Not a day goes by that I don't also realize how much healthier and happier that I am without all the extra weight.

    The choice is yours Ricky...you can wallow in self-pity or you can put aside your self-pity and work toward becoming the best that you can be with what you got to work with.

    None of us will ever be perfect...but we can be better than what we were yesterday.