I don't even know how to begin again

amalabdoney · February 2017

My whole life has been a battle with my weight. Went from slightly overweight in high school to a little more overweight in college, and slowly packing on more and more pounds. I go through phases of working out and eating healthier, and when I'm not doing such I am THINKING about dieting all the time.

I'm exhausted. I am so tired of it. I'm tired of dieting and restricting and hating myself. But on the other hand, I'm doing myself harm. I've been binge-eating until I'm sick and wanting to cry. I've gained weight since getting married recently and I'm overwhelmed with it all. I feel like I have no control with food. I give into my cravings and I can't stop. I always go overboard.

Lately I've even felt my body just get SO MUCH WORSE health-wise. I always have heartburn... my body aches... I am always out of breath... I can feel my heart pounding all the time. I know that when I get the courage to go to the gym I'm going to struggle so much and that's half of the battle of going. I also get in my own head and tell myself "you're never going to be consistent with it anyways enough for anything to show or make any progress".

I'm just so overwhelmed. It's a vicious cycle. I don't know how to start. I don't know how to help myself make changes. Nobody around me is helpful to talk to. I don't know if I should see a therapist or if I just need a few good days of being back on track to get me motivated.

Any advice? Anything is appreciated

kimny72 · February 2017

Stop trying to completely overhaul your life, and start making small changes so you baby-step in the right direction.

Make sure your stats in MFP are correct and choose 1 lb per week as your goal.
For the first week just make your goal logging your food accurately and consistently. Eat what you would normally eat, but weigh your portions and find good entries in the database to log it.
At the end of the week, look back at your diary, and find small ways to tweak what you are eating to fit your calories and stay satisfied. Notice the foods you love that would be easy to fit in regularly, and which ones you should only have occasionally.
Try to focus on what you need more of (more veggies, more lean protein, more fiber) rather than forbidding foods.
Try to think of a "healthy diet" rather than "healthy food". I get plenty of protein and fiber and nutrition, but I also have ice cream and fast food. You have to find a balance you can live with for the rest of your life.
And meanwhile, start taking walks, or dancing around the living room to get some exercise. Try youtube workouts or DVDs. Deal with the gym when you're ready.
Throw the guilt right out the window. Everyone has bad days. Everyone has days they eat the entire bag of chips while watching TV. The successful people chalk it up to being human, know that one day will not make or break their health, and just go back to doing what they do tomorrow.

Ultimately, the goal is really to find a way of eating and an exercise habit that you can happily follow for the rest of your life. Baby steps and patience may be what you need. Good luck :drinker:

Edited to add: If you feel like your brain is working against you in this cycle, there is no harm in considering seeing a therapist. Sometimes the little voices in our heads are too big for us to quiet on our own. Not saying it's necessary, but thought it was worth a mention

bluecrush84 · February 2017

Here is one of my previous posts.

bluecrush84 wrote: »

Go back to counting calories or learn portion control. Calorie counting works and you won't feel deprived. You can have pizza...as long as it fits into your calorie count. Stick to it. Consistency is the key. I prefer calorie counting because I can eat whatever I want and lose weight. I started last year at 230lbs. I am down 67lbs. 23lbs more to go.

You have to find a way to be consistent.

Here are the rules:

Keep it simple. In the beginning don't over stress your self. Eat whatever you want, but count EVERY calorie and don't go over your budget. Over time you can start to add more healthy options. You can meal prep once a week or eat prepackaged meals to get you started. I ate lean cuisine and Marie Callender's the first 2 months and I lost weight consistently. I even had room for skittles or a snickers.

Watch out for hidden calories like oils...I use cook spray now. Measure your peanut butter. Use sugar free maple syrup for your pancakes, waffles or oatmeal. It is only 15 calories per 1/4 cup! Verses regular syrup which is 220 calories.

Log you food into mfp or thedailyplate

Drink water

De stress your life

Figure out what is causing you to over eat. I am a stress eater. I used daily yoga to help deal with my stress and it worked a lot. Figure out what works for you.

Gradually add in exercise, do what you DONT hate. Preferably something you enjoy. Walking is great to start, plus it helps to clear your mind and reduce stress.

Supplies that may help you:
Food scale: cheap on amazon
Measuring cups and spoons
$2 measuring tape, measure your waist, hips, thighs, arms, etc. sometimes weighing yourself does not reflect your progress.
Progress photos: take them once per month to monitor your progress

YouTube, tone of health gurus can give your healthy filling recipes and low calorie options that are tasty. For example cauliflower rice or halo top icecream

Keep your diet simple to start, then over time, you may not need to calorie count...but you still will have to portion control.

I hope this helps.

amalabdoney · February 2017

Thank you so much, amazing ladies, for taking the time to help and offer me that advice. I really needed to hear that. I almost don't even know how to get back to basics of just meal planning and calorie counting and portion control. I can't change over night, but I need to start somewhere just to get the hang of things again.

bee11mct · February 2017

Hi. Thinking about food or about dieting all the time to the point where one is getting exhausted or sick isnt good for the mind nor for the soul. This isnt what life should be, our relationship with food shoudnt be complicated.. you should do things you love, and think about how much you love doing these things more than having food. If you have been thinking about it, go see someone who can help and start there. It's not because you seek guidance from a professional now that it will always be like this forever. Think about how you can make it work later (work outs & healthy eating).

If you don't want to see someone now, start by finding something you love to do to entertain your mind and arms at home. Knitting? Painting? Dancing? Start by finding something fun at home, and force yourself to move to this activity right away after your one-plate meal. Good luck!

KeepRunningFatboy · February 2017

I have a lifelong battle with obesity and eating disorders. YES - therapy can help. There are also medications that might help you with obsessing over diet and weight and binging. Is it possible, you might obsess about other things in life too? It tends to be an associated and common trait.

One thing I noted for me: I really had to get away from processed foods and added sugars. I gravitated towards a primarily plant based diet and over time, I became vegan. It took some time, but at my worst, I was 124 pounds and binging every couple days, then restricting/purging.

You mention binge and restriction. Just a note: if you severely restrict, your subconscious will eventually begin to battle for survival and you will have irresistible cravings or even binge. If you deprive of essential nutrients, again, your brain will consider it a threat, and you will have exceptionally strong cravings. Therapy is a good thing. As would be a doctor since you also mentioned heart pounding. Could be anxiety, and yes, they can prescribe meds for that which can really help you.

Take care of yourself! And share this with your husband, he can help support you.

MadDogManor · February 2017

I binge eat too. Sometimes I have to tell myself it's just 15 minutes at a time: "I won't eat that for 15 min", and if I'm successful, I try for another 15 min, and so on. More often than not, I am not successful. When I come out of the haze, I try abstaining for 15 min. It totally sucks and many people don't understand, but just know you are not alone!

fiddletime · February 2017

In addition to all of the great advice above I'll add a few things. Losing weight, and maintaining the loss, is hard for most of us, really hard. It's why MFP exists. I'm on my third weight loss journey using it and each time I understand what makes me, and food, tick a little better. Third time is the charm (with MFP that is)!

I've learned to not kick myself when I slip, but to not ignore it either. Super bowl Sunday was a disaster, ok start again Monday. One day won't derail your journey. My calories for loss are 1200/day and for maintenance are 1350. So, there really is very little difference between losing and maintaining for many of us. That's why it's a journey- for life. One day at a time. Try to get the yummy junk food out of your house, as it's hard to resist at night. Record what you eat. See how many calories you eat versus what MFP says you should, and get ready for a journey that will change your life!

Fitmommy0920 · February 2017

You're definitely not alone! Just stay positive and start by little changes at a time.

ozgurvh · February 2017

It's a life time journey, not a race. Don't set too aggressive goals, small changes help.

ktrulez · February 2017

let's start by accepting and embracing change. yes you have thought about it, you have procrastinated, and dreamt about dieting.

if you love yourself, you'll do what's best for you. take a hard look in the mirror, its all mental. taking the first step is always a challenge, keeping it up is going to be hard. but in the end of it all remind yourself after a long day that you are building something so great, no one can tear it down. go ahead take that first step around the block. the next day walk a little further. figure out what you'll need to lose .5-1 pound a week, if you need help with that message me.

stay strong willed and you will get it done!

Timberla82 · February 2017

It sounds like you need to give yourself a break! Once you're in a spiral (food, mindset, whatever), it can be so difficult to yank yourself out and keep in mind that getting married and the first 2 years is - whether or not you've been living together for a while beforehand - a huge stressor in life. They put it up there with deaths and moving/buying a house and stress (for me) is an absolute killer if I want to eat healthily.

If you're struggling and it all seems too hard, focus on something tiny and really simple to do for 1 week, eg get out for a 20min walk each day, and see how you go. Pat yourself on the back for the tiny things that you achieve and it will get easier as you go. If that's not working, maybe ask someone on here to be an accountability/encouragement buddy - I am sure there are plenty of people here with similar experiences that would love to support you while you're having a rough time. (Feel free to message me if you don't have anyone in mind...) If none of that is working, maybe go and see a counsellor or therapist for a few sessions. Sometimes it's easier to talk to and get advice from a complete stranger and that can be enough to get you back on track

Keep the faith! You can do it! You've done it before and you can do it again

I don't even know how to begin again

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