Why are ex's so strange?

Sway
Sway Posts: 100 Member
in Chit-Chat
Why does he text almost every week? Why does he bring up the past so much? I had a talk with him several times, today being another time about not texting his weird messages, and stuff. He says he's just being friendly. I don't initiate contact with him. He was a mess and I was miserable that's why we're not together. What does he want?? Maybe just attention? Guys what's up with dude?

Oh yeah and believe me the background about this is way too complicated, but I'll try to nut shell it for you, he cared about me a lot, but wasn't ready for a relationship I don't know if I was really either but I was left disappointed in many ways. There's a lot of other little things too...

I just don't understand why he can't keep the distance though? I mean what does he want?
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Replies

  • Ajontheguitar
    Ajontheguitar Posts: 695
    A form of closure that doesn't exist. Men like that (previously me, to be honest) feel like "oh I'm just getting this closure" when really they're suspending the pain they havent, and can't deal with. They just have to let you go forever and realize it happens. It really sucks and as a "sensie" (see the show Scrubs for definition) I really understand how much it hurts.

    But sometimes, you have to do what hurts to feel like you again.
  • TromaRon
    TromaRon Posts: 228 Member
    That's why they're ex's, because they're so strange.
    ...and not the good kind of strange. ; )
  • goddess2B
    goddess2B Posts: 10 Member
    He doesn't know what he wants? He wants you to want him?

    Don't engage! Just Ignore him completely!
  • bjshooter
    bjshooter Posts: 1,174 Member
    He wants you back, or wants you to want him back. People don't like it when you move on and don't seem to care. If you started being interested in him, he would probably not care so much.

    How long have you been split up?
  • Phanessa917
    Phanessa917 Posts: 100 Member
    I'm sorry. You can ignore his text msgs if he doesn't get it. Do what you need to move on... even if it means letting him go completely.
  • Heatherbelle_87
    Heatherbelle_87 Posts: 1,078 Member
    You are now a challenge to him again. It could also be a form of manipulation (ive had one of those exes) to see if he can win you back. He'll be perfect in the beginning then come back the old habits
  • guyonthego
    guyonthego Posts: 23
    Suggestion to help.... Send a bunch of us BIG guys who need to burn calories to his house for a....."meeting"
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
    I also agree that he doesn't know what he wants. It's really annoying when guys act that way. They want one foot on either side of the fence. As my mother likes to say, "S**t or get off the pot." (say that to him, lol)
  • Uk_Yogini
    Uk_Yogini Posts: 167
    If you don't want him in your life, then I say ignore him.
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
    who cares!? either he's an ex or not - stop all contact, change your number and if he continues to harrass you, contact the police. End of problem
    next problem
  • SarahofTwins
    SarahofTwins Posts: 1,169 Member
    Reading that actually reminded me of me and my ex...everything you said is how I felt before too. I don't think I'll ever know but he ALWAYS called, texted, emailed...usually asking what I'm up to, how life was treating me, and so on. I never understood it myself because he broke up with me but yet still wanted to communicate all the time before? Weirdo lol He also said he wasn't ready to settle down, but after all this time it was because he didnt want to settle down with me. This was years back and Thank God we are not together because I have a wonderful husband who adores me and our children.

    Ultimately I think they just want to keep tabs or don't want to see you happy. Not sure though cause when I asked why he kept doing it, all he could say was "I still care about you" Talk about bologne. Anyhow just let him be and do your own thing, trust me it'll be better for you overall.:flowerforyou:
  • jojopel
    jojopel Posts: 348 Member
    Don't reply to his texts and, if need be, get a new number so he can' reach you.
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,223 Member
    You are now a challenge to him again. It could also be a form of manipulation (ive had one of those exes) to see if he can win you back. He'll be perfect in the beginning then come back the old habits

    This!

    I'd just stop returning his text/phone calls - he'll get the drift eventually. If he doesn't call your cell phone provider and see if you can have his number blocked.

    If you find out he has a shrine of you, consider changing your identity. LOL
  • blink1021
    blink1021 Posts: 1,115 Member
    I know people say that exes can be friends. I do not know about that its best to ignore him so you can both move on. By talking to him you are giving him the attention he wants. Especially if you ended things he may be having a hard time coming to terms with that his ego could be damaged. Hopefully he will get bored and move on if not then that is a whole other post.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,309 Member
    Obsessive Compulsive? :wink:


    I'd say the best advice was already given. Let him go and don't answer him any more.
  • Cherry21
    Cherry21 Posts: 7
    Guys who can figure them I don't even try anymore.
  • Ajontheguitar
    Ajontheguitar Posts: 695
    I guess nobody's giving this guy the benefit of a broken heart like I did...lol
  • Tandy1965
    Tandy1965 Posts: 9
    I agree with everyone on this, you cannot break up with someone and remain friends. It's better to just move on. Please be aware if it gets to weird to notify the police, if you never respond this could make him angry (if he's that kind of guy). Just be careful!
  • Jennfur2610
    Jennfur2610 Posts: 67 Member
    He sounds like one of my exes, just not ready to commit to any kind of relationship. It was really rough after we broke up because he would text, IM or email and bring up the good times which made me miss him. Unless you think you can be friends with him, I'd cut ties. If you want to be friends, ignore the texts that are driving you nuts. There might be some underlying issues with them (he's trying to control your emotions, or test your faithfulness to him) and in that case it's just better to walk away. Your Mr. Right is out there somewhere.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,309 Member
    I guess nobody's giving this guy the benefit of a broken heart like I did...lol

    A broken heart will heal much faster if you don't keep yanking the bandage off. No doubt he's hurting. . . and your point is? :laugh:

    I've been on both sides. There's no easy way but just go through it.

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