At My Wit's End.... Motivation Needed!

Check out this thread for success stories of people with similar goals to yours, you may find some inspiration there.

Hang in there - you can do this! Sadly "motivation" is a finite thing, but if you can find your determination instead then that will keep you going when you feel like giving up. (People aren't generally "motivated" to get up for work or to clean their teeth etc., but they do it because they have to. It's the same with weight loss. ) Remember that it took time for you to gain the weight, so you should expect to lose it slowly. But every pound you shed is a pound in the right direction!

Make a list of all the reasons you want to lose weight and get healthy - I would imagine that being around for your beautiful daughters would be high on the list, but I'm sure there are many others you can think of too. Pin it somewhere you can see it, and refer to it every day to help you keep on track when your determination wavers.

Don't worry too much about exercise if you find it difficult to do or hard to find the time - it's great if you can do something, but controlling your calorie intake will likely be more important for you at the start. Once you start losing, you may find yourself eager to find some activity you can enjoy.

Also don't try to be "perfect" - we're all human, we all have bad days or make poor decisions at times. It's what you do most of the time that matters, and that one slice of cake or take out meal that you found hard to resist isn't going to ruin everything... so long as you don't let it turn into a slide that sees you ignoring your intake completely for weeks on end. Find a method of reducing your calorie intake that works for you, stick with it for at least a couple of months, and see what happens. You may need to experiment with different methods, but eventually you'll find something you can turn into a lifestyle and you'll see results. Don't think of this as "a diet" where you can go back to eating the way you currently do when you're finished with it... eating that way is what got you here, so you need a permanent change.

Take photos (I know, you might hate it now but you'll be glad you have them later!) and measurements now, and take more at regular intervals so that you can see your progress. Sometimes the scale doesn't cooperate so it's helpful to have other methods to gauge success!

Don't cut your calories too low at the start... drop them down gradually so that you get used to eating less over time. At your current weight you should be able to lose on a decent intake, you don't need to go for 1200 calories immediately and burn yourself out or make yourself miserable. Also, break up your overall goal into smaller milestones. Looking at 90lbs to lose is scary, but 5 or 10 pounds is doable. Once the first ten is gone, look at the next ten. And the next, and so on until you get to where you want to be.

Finally, look at the stickied posts at the top of each forum for guidance - there's a LOT of really helpful information on the site, and if you've been here before I'm sure you've seen some of it. Read it, take it in, USE it! If you want to see success you need to be determined and consistent. It's not always "easy", but it IS "simple" - eat less calories than you need, and you'll lose weight.

You've got this. I wish you all the best!

Canehdn wrote: »

- Iterative small changes: don't try to change your whole diet, exercise, sleep routine all at once. Make small little changes and see how it's working.

That's a good point, and one I forgot to include in my "essay"...! Slow and steady - don't overwhelm yourself with too many changes, just tackle one thing at a time.

Enjoy the journey. It's awesome as hell!!

Yes, it is!

I started at 211 lbs (close to my heighest weight ever) 5'5 and 26 years old. I'm now 186 lbs having lost 25 pounds in the last 16 weeks. Previously I had tried to lose the weight several times before and did a lot of yo-yo dieting where I would lose some of the weight and then gain it all back and some.

I realized this time around I couldn't drastically change overnight. Maybe I could for a little while, but not permanently and this has to be a permanent change. I started out just logging everything I ate for a couple weeks honestly and truthfully. Once I got that down I started slowly making better choices and eating fewer calorie dense foods so I could get down to the number of calories MFP recommended I eat a day to lose a pound a week.

I really wanted to lose 2 lbs a week, but I felt I couldn't cut back that much so I just aimed for a pound a week. It made it easier and less stressful.

Instead of dramatically changing my diet as I had before I decided to make small changes. I preplan my meals for the week and often prelog my meals so I am sure not to go over my calories. I still eat all the foods I enjoy just in smaller quantities. I eat more balanced meals now, drink more water, and I'm generally more active.

In short, all I've done is stick to my MFP goal and I've lost 25 lbs so far with 36 more to go. Small steps lead to big change.

I would start just by logging everything honestly, buying a food scale if you don't have one and use it religiously, and just make up your mind that you will do this.

If you stay at that weight you risk dying early. Your girls would miss you. Also, if you eat poorly you set a bad example for them and they'll have to deal with changing the same bad habits when they're older or again, risk of early death. Before you know it they'll be too old to want to run around and play with you. When my mom was at your weight she had trouble moving around to play with me. I worried about her health so much. It sucked, I wouldn't wish that on any child. Learn how to weigh food and use measuring cups. Even measure out the oil you use. Keep track of how much sugar you eat, if you want sweets have a piece of fruit a couple times a day. I think adult males are supposed to get 90-100mg of sugar a day, some sweets have that much in a single serving. Eat a few servings of vegetables a day, they're filling and low in calories. Switch the soda and juice out for water, plain tea and coffee. Buy smaller bowls and plates. Learning to cook properly goes a long way. My mom is down to like 160 lbs or so, btw. She cut out most sweets. If she didn't like wine so much she'd probably be much lighter, but she isn't nearly as miserable as she used to be.