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wwstewart
Posts: 135 Member
Success pics are awesome...But they remind me of my failure.
I don't know my current weight. It's over 400.
I literally can't find the time to exercise, and when I feel like it the weather either sucks or if I do have time I can't get motivated.
Surgery isn't an option only because my group insurance doesn't cover it.
I know my weight is probably going to kill me in the next 10 years. Somehow that almost seems like a goal just to get all of this over with.
I was getting treatment for depression, but that just made everything way, way worse.
I'm not doing well. I want to change, but I don't honestly see it happening. My "why" is good, but I just don't feel like I imagine that normal people do about life.
This post sucks. Sorry.
I just hope someone has something to say that will snap me out of this.
I don't know my current weight. It's over 400.
I literally can't find the time to exercise, and when I feel like it the weather either sucks or if I do have time I can't get motivated.
Surgery isn't an option only because my group insurance doesn't cover it.
I know my weight is probably going to kill me in the next 10 years. Somehow that almost seems like a goal just to get all of this over with.
I was getting treatment for depression, but that just made everything way, way worse.
I'm not doing well. I want to change, but I don't honestly see it happening. My "why" is good, but I just don't feel like I imagine that normal people do about life.
This post sucks. Sorry.
I just hope someone has something to say that will snap me out of this.
0
Replies
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Obesity runs in my family, when I was little I watched my dad lose two of his closest cousins. Then when he was 37 about 400lbs give or take a few, he too died for no reason other than he was obese and his heart could no longer support his body. I work out 6 days a week and count calories everyday not because I want to look a certain way but because I don't want to put my friends and family through what I've been through.
Your life means a lot to more people than you realize. Make time to take care of yourself. The more good decisions you make the more confidence you'll have in those decisions.
Exercise also has been shown to help with depression. Could be once you make it a habit going back for more help with your depression could be easier to process.6 -
Success pics are awesome...But they remind me of my failure.
I don't know my current weight. It's over 400.
I literally can't find the time to exercise, and when I feel like it the weather either sucks or if I do have time I can't get motivated.
Surgery isn't an option only because my group insurance doesn't cover it.
I know my weight is probably going to kill me in the next 10 years. Somehow that almost seems like a goal just to get all of this over with.
I was getting treatment for depression, but that just made everything way, way worse.
I'm not doing well. I want to change, but I don't honestly see it happening. My "why" is good, but I just don't feel like I imagine that normal people do about life.
This post sucks. Sorry.
I just hope someone has something to say that will snap me out of this.
Exercise isn't for, weight riddance it's for; health & to earn or work off a treat that, you weren't otherwise able to; fit into your daily calories. Just know that, nothing negates; calories in/calories out (CI/CO). You only've to, reduce how much; you consume!1 -
Count your calories and eat less. Exercise if you have time. Like the above post, weight loss starts in the kitchen. You are loved and you're worth it. Start taking back your life, one day at a time!! Start today. Now.2
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Obesity runs in my family, when I was little I watched my dad lose two of his closest cousins. Then when he was 37 about 400lbs give or take a few, he too died for no reason other than he was obese and his heart could no longer support his body. I work out 6 days a week and count calories everyday not because I want to look a certain way but because I don't want to put my friends and family through what I've been through.
Your life means a lot to more people than you realize. Make time to take care of yourself. The more good decisions you make the more confidence you'll have in those decisions.
Exercise also has been shown to help with depression. Could be once you make it a habit going back for more help with your depression could be easier to process.
Actually it doesn't, obesity isn't a genetic condition; it's solely a lifestyle choice to over consume! Everyone'll reduce their weight, if they consume less calories; than they burn!0 -
There are some genetic conditions that can trigger obesity. So it's not "always" a lifestyle choice. Most of the time, sure. But not 100% of the time.4
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A habit can be a family trait too. Like a sense of humor running in the family. It's not genetic to think farts are funny, but my moms whole side of the family still laughs at every one.2
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There are some genetic conditions that can trigger obesity. So it's not "always" a lifestyle choice. Most of the time, sure. But not 100% of the time.
Genetic conditions, medications, etc. do increase, appetite but it's still a choice to, over consume; that doesn't negate our choices.0 -
Success pics are awesome...But they remind me of my failure.
I don't know my current weight. It's over 400.
I literally can't find the time to exercise, and when I feel like it the weather either sucks or if I do have time I can't get motivated.
Surgery isn't an option only because my group insurance doesn't cover it.
I know my weight is probably going to kill me in the next 10 years. Somehow that almost seems like a goal just to get all of this over with.
I was getting treatment for depression, but that just made everything way, way worse.
I'm not doing well. I want to change, but I don't honestly see it happening. My "why" is good, but I just don't feel like I imagine that normal people do about life.
This post sucks. Sorry.
I just hope someone has something to say that will snap me out of this.
The one thing you are missing is hope. I often feel hopeless (I have a current health issue that needs to be surgically repaired but I live in Canada where wait times are very long and I can't wait any longer). Hope is a powerful thing.
You are not a hopeless case.i know this is different but I was a chronic anorexic binge/purge for 20+ years and I was told I would never recover. I had no hope. I met a Dr who believed in me and right now I am in recovery. It is not a straight line as I still fall into old habits but I'm no longer killing myself. You need to find that one person who believes in you and gives you hope.4 -
The good news is that you do not have to exercise to lose weight. Exercise should be viewed for the other health benefits, such as improved cardiovasular health and better bone density. Weight loss comes down to calories. I know it is daunting at first, but just start tracking what you eat. You don't need to hit certain goals just yet.
By becoming aware of your food intake you can start to see places to cut back a little. For me it was not having my first lunch and first dinner as fast food, then a second lunch and second dinner with family. Cutting back slowly helped me stick to it. Baby steps as small as cutting back on calories you drink or reducing cream, butter, and higher calorie condiments can lead to bigger steps.5 -
DeficitDuchess wrote: »There are some genetic conditions that can trigger obesity. So it's not "always" a lifestyle choice. Most of the time, sure. But not 100% of the time.
Genetic conditions, medications, etc. do increase, appetite but it's still a choice to, over consume; that doesn't negate our choices.
You're forgetting learned patterns from family as well as mental conditions. The things our parents set as examples have a large impact. If you ate fast food at every meal and never learned to cook it's significantly harder to make positive food choices. There are also several eating disorders that are over eating rather than starvation. You'd never tell an anorexic that their impulse to starve themselves is a choice they made because there are mental factors. They same thing goes for overeating and binge eating. Those are impulses that often require significant time and outside help to make progress on. No matter how much progress I have made I still binge.4 -
Exercise isn't requisite for weight loss. You can still lose weight without any exercise so you can cross that off the list of hurdles to getting started.
Don't try to jump into big changes. Small changes that you can live with for the rest of your life will lead to results.
Begin by logging your food and beverage intake for a couple of weeks without making any changes. You can then go back through to see where you might eat smaller portions and/or substitute calorie-dense foods with different foods that are still satisfying to you.1 -
OP...maybe just write down in a little notebook that you carry in your pocket everything that you eat...don't worry about the calories yet. Also write down how you felt when you ate...were you hungry...were you depressed...bored...upset. It has helped me to identify why I eat when I do.
When your up to it then maybe instead of eating when you are depressed you can take a short walk. I walk around the block sometimes just to keep from eating when I am not hungry.
I wish you well and hope that you can find the help that you need.1 -
You are clearly depressed, but your situation is far from hopeless. There are many, many people here who have lost as much weight as you would like to. The first step is to stop beating yourself up. Life is hard. It doesn't always go the way we want or expect. Pretty much everyone here has found themselves in a similar situation of one sort or another.
Now you have a choice: lay down and die or do something about it. Just know that it is a real choice, because you can absolutely do something about it. It is within your control. You just have to want it bad enough to do it. Choose.
If you choose to do something about it, MFP makes it pretty straightforward. Don't focus too much on the big goal, just focus on the small lifestyle changes that will get you there:
- Set up MFP properly.
- Log your meals religiously.
- Aim for modest calorie deficits daily.
- Try to get some kind of physical activity daily. When you can do more, do more.
- Take advantage of the forums and the community.
- And be patient. You didn't gain the weight in one day and you won't lose it in one day.
Celebrate each thing you do as a success--each day you hit your target, each french fry not eaten, each walk or trip to the gym, etc. Each one of those things is a gift to yourself that contributes to your health and well-being. If you do those things, you WILL lose the weight. If you make them a habit, you will keep it off.2 -
DeficitDuchess wrote: »There are some genetic conditions that can trigger obesity. So it's not "always" a lifestyle choice. Most of the time, sure. But not 100% of the time.
Genetic conditions, medications, etc. do increase, appetite but it's still a choice to, over consume; that doesn't negate our choices.
You're forgetting learned patterns from family as well as mental conditions. The things our parents set as examples have a large impact. If you ate fast food at every meal and never learned to cook it's significantly harder to make positive food choices. There are also several eating disorders that are over eating rather than starvation. You'd never tell an anorexic that their impulse to starve themselves is a choice they made because there are mental factors. They same thing goes for overeating and binge eating. Those are impulses that often require significant time and outside help to make progress on. No matter how much progress I have made I still binge.
As far as taught patterns go, it's still a choice even if; it's unknown because otherwise we wouldn't be able to, learn/apply the; opposite when known! While not all, some eating disorders; developed & thus, became a consequence of; their choices. Also seeking, treatment's a choice & thus many've overcome their, eating disorders by; making that choice!0 -
I don't think diet and exercise tips are what you need. I am sensing some sort of emotional issue here, and no one here is equipped to help with that. I recommend you see a therapist to help address why you are thinking and feeling the way you are.
When the time comes, know that you don't need exercise to lose weight. Your diet is all you need to focus on there - calories, portions, macros, etc. How to structure your diet is something people here are equipped to help you with. If you decide you want to do more than lose weight, and be physically healthier, that's where exercise comes in. It will speed up your weight loss too.
You have many obstacles, and they shouldn't be minimized. The stark reality of your situation, though, is pretty much how you put it: your life will be limited both in quality and duration if you continue down this path. No one wants that for you. You're worthy of a better life than that. There's no shame in seeking out help from professionals who've helped others like you.
Best of luck.3 -
DeficitDuchess wrote: »DeficitDuchess wrote: »There are some genetic conditions that can trigger obesity. So it's not "always" a lifestyle choice. Most of the time, sure. But not 100% of the time.
Genetic conditions, medications, etc. do increase, appetite but it's still a choice to, over consume; that doesn't negate our choices.
You're forgetting learned patterns from family as well as mental conditions. The things our parents set as examples have a large impact. If you ate fast food at every meal and never learned to cook it's significantly harder to make positive food choices. There are also several eating disorders that are over eating rather than starvation. You'd never tell an anorexic that their impulse to starve themselves is a choice they made because there are mental factors. They same thing goes for overeating and binge eating. Those are impulses that often require significant time and outside help to make progress on. No matter how much progress I have made I still binge.
As far as taught patterns go, it's still a choice even if; it's unknown because otherwise we wouldn't be able to, learn/apply the; opposite when known! While not all, some eating disorders; developed & thus, became a consequence of; their choices. Also seeking, treatment's a choice & thus many've overcome their, eating disorders by; making that choice!
How your parents ate and how your brain function are not "lifestyle choices" as you indicated. There are many factors that go into gaining weight such as environment, behavior, and genetics (I'm not talking a "fat gene" I'm talking all the other hormones and enzymes related to weight regulation). Pointing a finger at a new person, especially one depressed and asking for help, to tell them that they only have themselves to blame is oversimplifying the problem. Yes, he's going to have to start making some different choices and he knows that, which is why he is here asking for advice.
There is a debate section if you'd like to talk about the merits of studies done on obesity genetic predisposition.2 -
DeficitDuchess wrote: »DeficitDuchess wrote: »There are some genetic conditions that can trigger obesity. So it's not "always" a lifestyle choice. Most of the time, sure. But not 100% of the time.
Genetic conditions, medications, etc. do increase, appetite but it's still a choice to, over consume; that doesn't negate our choices.
You're forgetting learned patterns from family as well as mental conditions. The things our parents set as examples have a large impact. If you ate fast food at every meal and never learned to cook it's significantly harder to make positive food choices. There are also several eating disorders that are over eating rather than starvation. You'd never tell an anorexic that their impulse to starve themselves is a choice they made because there are mental factors. They same thing goes for overeating and binge eating. Those are impulses that often require significant time and outside help to make progress on. No matter how much progress I have made I still binge.
As far as taught patterns go, it's still a choice even if; it's unknown because otherwise we wouldn't be able to, learn/apply the; opposite when known! While not all, some eating disorders; developed & thus, became a consequence of; their choices. Also seeking, treatment's a choice & thus many've overcome their, eating disorders by; making that choice!
How your parents ate and how your brain function are not "lifestyle choices" as you indicated. There are many factors that go into gaining weight such as environment, behavior, and genetics (I'm not talking a "fat gene" I'm talking all the other hormones and enzymes related to weight regulation). Pointing a finger at a new person, especially one depressed and asking for help, to tell them that they only have themselves to blame is oversimplifying the problem. Yes, he's going to have to start making some different choices and he knows that, which is why he is here asking for advice.
There is a debate section if you'd like to talk about the merits of studies done on obesity genetic predisposition.
Then why's it, possible to; rid ourselves of weight? Because it's possible to, make a choice to; go against those grains! Also you, responded to; my comment & thus began, this "debate"; between us!0 -
itsthehumidity wrote: »I don't think diet and exercise tips are what you need. I am sensing some sort of emotional issue here, and no one here is equipped to help with that. I recommend you see a therapist to help address why you are thinking and feeling the way you are.
When the time comes, know that you don't need exercise to lose weight. Your diet is all you need to focus on there - calories, portions, macros, etc. How to structure your diet is something people here are equipped to help you with. If you decide you want to do more than lose weight, and be physically healthier, that's where exercise comes in. It will speed up your weight loss too.
You have many obstacles, and they shouldn't be minimized. The stark reality of your situation, though, is pretty much how you put it: your life will be limited both in quality and duration if you continue down this path. No one wants that for you. You're worthy of a better life than that. There's no shame in seeking out help from professionals who've helped others like you.
Best of luck.
THIS! The nature vs nurture debate is for another thread. This should be your focus OP. Don't give up, you can do this.3 -
Don't overwhelm yourself with how much you need to change. Start with something simple like drinking more water. Work your way up to a gallon or so a day. You will notice the bloat has gone down which may motivate you to start lowering your calorie intake, Which will result in lbs lost. And you're thinking of the whole amount you have to lose. Don't do that. Start with a small goal of 5 lbs. and even if someone on the outside doesn't notice those 5 lbs, you will. You will notice a difference in your body every day.
But before all this you need to decide that you are worth this. And the people who love you are worth this lifestyle change. Because you are. I will pray for you to come to that realization and for strength to start a new path!
You can do this!2 -
DeficitDuchess wrote: »DeficitDuchess wrote: »DeficitDuchess wrote: »There are some genetic conditions that can trigger obesity. So it's not "always" a lifestyle choice. Most of the time, sure. But not 100% of the time.
Genetic conditions, medications, etc. do increase, appetite but it's still a choice to, over consume; that doesn't negate our choices.
You're forgetting learned patterns from family as well as mental conditions. The things our parents set as examples have a large impact. If you ate fast food at every meal and never learned to cook it's significantly harder to make positive food choices. There are also several eating disorders that are over eating rather than starvation. You'd never tell an anorexic that their impulse to starve themselves is a choice they made because there are mental factors. They same thing goes for overeating and binge eating. Those are impulses that often require significant time and outside help to make progress on. No matter how much progress I have made I still binge.
As far as taught patterns go, it's still a choice even if; it's unknown because otherwise we wouldn't be able to, learn/apply the; opposite when known! While not all, some eating disorders; developed & thus, became a consequence of; their choices. Also seeking, treatment's a choice & thus many've overcome their, eating disorders by; making that choice!
How your parents ate and how your brain function are not "lifestyle choices" as you indicated. There are many factors that go into gaining weight such as environment, behavior, and genetics (I'm not talking a "fat gene" I'm talking all the other hormones and enzymes related to weight regulation). Pointing a finger at a new person, especially one depressed and asking for help, to tell them that they only have themselves to blame is oversimplifying the problem. Yes, he's going to have to start making some different choices and he knows that, which is why he is here asking for advice.
There is a debate section if you'd like to talk about the merits of studies done on obesity genetic predisposition.
Then why's it, possible to; rid ourselves of weight? Because it's possible to, make a choice to; go against those grains! Also you, responded to; my comment & thus began, this "debate"; between us!
Of course we can change and make new choices, I said that much as well and said that he is going to be required to make some different choices. Telling him that it isn't genetics, it's his lifestyle, was oversimplifying the problem. Especially for someone who admits to being over 400 pounds and suffering from depression.2
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