What got you motivated?

I quit smoking about 2 years ago and my weight skyrocketed. My motivator is that I don't want to go out in public anymore. I work from home so it's not that difficult. I'm fine getting in the car to pick up kids at school. It's when I have get out of the car that the shame and anxiety hit. I get invited to do things and won't go. I also just feel so terrible all the time and I ran out of blood pressure meds and can't bring myself to call the doctor's office because I haven't been there in awhile so they will require that I go in. It's silly and ridiculous but I don't want to hear that I need to lose weight. I know that. I know what I am doing is dangerous but I still do it. It is not rational. So, in order to go to the doctor, I have to drop some weight. I can't even believe I'm admitting this.

You appear to be thinking something will magically happen, also you appear to be setting the bar too high. If you want to try with low motivation change one thing, e.g. One meal at home instead of takeaway, or get a step counter and focus on increasing steps by something every week. Tell yourself you can't make any other changes for a month. Add another change after a month and see how you go

The realization that my son is special needs, quite possibly on the Autism spectrum (we're in the process of getting evaluation done). This made me realize that both my kids really need a healthy mom to advocate for them and keep up with them. Also I was having issues with my stomach that made eating anything miserable.