Going through Changes

Hi, I'm not sure if this is really the place to discuss this sort of matter. But I just need to get it out and could use as much support as possible.

I just learned a few days ago that my parents are separating (I'm only 22 and I live with them), because their marriage isn't working out so well I suppose. At first I was angry with my dad because he was talking stupid-like since he was drinking that day, and said he was getting rid of my dog and my mom's dog too. Thankfully that hasn't happened, but that's not the point.

Because of what is going on between these two has me overwhelmed with many emotions, especially since I have been dealing with this sort of thing since I was in high school. They wanted to split then, but I guess I managed to get them to stay together only for a few years longer because I couldn't bear the thought of my parents separating.

I can't stop them now, and it's making me very upset. I am not taking care of myself as much as I was when I started eating better at the start of this year. I've gone back up to 333lbs over the course of a couple of months since we could never buy any food I needed. And even before my parents splitting they had their problems that lead me to gain back weight too.

And just today my dad was asking me when my mom was moving out? I tried my hardest to put up a brave front and managed to succeed, but inside I was dying and have been feeling sick to my stomach as well as in pain in my collarbone area.

I mean, I just lost my best friend/my son in May, so that's another factor to my weight gain too. He was only 5 years old and he ended up choking on a rawhide chip because he had the tendency to not chew it up thoroughly, but he had always managed to get it unstuck from his throat.

And I'm always against this sort of thing, but I ended up getting so overwhelmed by his death that I almost committed suicide so I could join him. I'm just glad I didn't do that and talked to a good friend of mine instead. She lightly chewed me out about the whole ordeal but I couldn't help feeling the way I did. And sadly I do still feel like that to this day, and my parents splitting up is not really helping.

I could easily tell them about my situation, but it's unlikely that they'll listen and think I want attention. I just want them to be happy, and I want to be a little happier myself.

Again, sorry if I posted this in the wrong area. I just needed to get this all out because I have nobody to talk to right now because they're not answering the phone...