Living away from your spouse/life partner.

distinctlybeautiful
distinctlybeautiful Posts: 1,041 Member
edited November 16 in Chit-Chat
Under what circumstances, if any, would you freely choose to live far away from your spouse or life partner to whom you're happily married or committed?

Replies

  • Unknown
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  • tmanfromtexas
    tmanfromtexas Posts: 928 Member
    For a lot of people it is their job. I have been working away from home for years.
  • MrStabbems
    MrStabbems Posts: 3,110 Member
    if the opportunity arose.
  • distinctlybeautiful
    distinctlybeautiful Posts: 1,041 Member
    @happilymegan In what case do you think your partner being in the military would cause you to want to live apart?

    @newmeadow I'm not sure I understand. If they're being held against their will, where does the choice come in?

    @tmanfromtexas Do y'all live apart completely, or do you just work away, causing you to be gone a lot?
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    There are all kinds of short and long temporary life circumstances that might have you living apart. They are never wanted but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

    If you are actively seeking separation, that is completely different.
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  • kwph
    kwph Posts: 7,375 Member
    If we don't like the same shows
  • KyleGrace8
    KyleGrace8 Posts: 2,205 Member
    I'd only deal with it if it was for their or my job. I'd rather have my lover with me every day though. I don't understand why someone would choose to live far away if it wasn't for a job, education or sick family.
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    distinctlybeautiful wrote: »
    Under what circumstances, if any, would you freely choose to live far away from your spouse or life partner to whom you're happily married or committed?

    Far away is relative to the individual's thoughts. I never heard of one relationship that everybody involved was with each other 24/7.

    If I love the person and we are happy, then we aren't far away from each other.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    Only if it was short term and temporary. But I doubt either of us would choose that.
  • tmanfromtexas
    tmanfromtexas Posts: 928 Member
    distinctlybeautiful wrote: »
    @happilymegan In what case do you think your partner being in the military would cause you to want to live apart?

    @newmeadow I'm not sure I understand. If they're being held against their will, where does the choice come in?

    @tmanfromtexas Do y'all live apart completely, or do you just work away, causing you to be gone a lot?

    I just work away. I go home and she comes here on a regular basis. It works for us.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    if the opportunity arose.

    Boy Howdy!
  • sarraheclark
    sarraheclark Posts: 125 Member
    edited February 2017
    My fiance (now husband) and I did it for 3+ years when he went back to school. 900 miles is a long way but it was something he needed to do for himself. I wasn't ready to make the move, but we both agreed we were up for the challenge.

    I have always felt that you have to be good for yourself to be good for someone else. The long-distance relationship proved that for me, but it may not be true for everyone. I am extremely independent; sometimes it can be a personality flaw.
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  • bizgirl26
    bizgirl26 Posts: 1,795 Member
    2 homes side by side with conjugal visits :0
  • jennybearlv
    jennybearlv Posts: 1,519 Member
    My husband can move away as long as he keeps paying the mortgage. I've been married for ten years. I could use a vacay.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    bizgirl26 wrote: »
    2 homes side by side with conjugal visits :0

    Not too close, now.
  • EZDUZIT68
    EZDUZIT68 Posts: 1,168 Member
    edited February 2017
    I'm sorry - is this a trick question? You had me daydreaming for like an hour thinking through the possibilities...
  • CharlieTheMujc
    CharlieTheMujc Posts: 10 Member
    I am in a long distance relationship for over 8 years now (4 of them marriage), and it seems to be working out just fine. For us, the reason is job. I would of course like to live with him, but for both of us, our jobs are important, and moving in would mean that one of us made the sacrifice of not doing the job anymore, and we are not ready for that. So we keep on keeping on, and of course there are rough periods, but mostly it's ok.
  • distinctlybeautiful
    distinctlybeautiful Posts: 1,041 Member
    Thanks for all the responses! I live on an army base in Germany, and I hear about spouses going back home to live in the states while the soldier stays over here for up to three years. I just can't fathom voluntarily spending that much time living apart from my husband. That's all, but to each his own.
  • Glasscandle
    Glasscandle Posts: 134 Member
    Have been in a commuter relationship (3 hr drive) 10 years because jobs in different universities. Trade weekends back & forth. Difficult but continues to survive.
  • 4BabiesStrong
    4BabiesStrong Posts: 5 Member
    Yeah, the only reason I would live apart is for military mission, like I am on now. I only choose a year and would not do any longer. I also would miss my children. I need their laughter and smiles in my life. It is hard to not see them everyday, when you normally are there since they were born. It is hard. But sometimes it is necessary.
  • kwph
    kwph Posts: 7,375 Member
    I spend hours in the bathroom, so I totally relate ..By the time I come out were like total strangers 2 each other
  • ddeliciosa
    ddeliciosa Posts: 168 Member
    Right now I'm in grad school on the east coast and my boyfriend of 4 years is a pilot in the midwest. We both started working on our careers at the same time, and unfortunately neither of us were really willing to budge when it meant putting school or work on hold to be together. We did break up for about ~3-4 months but got back together. Do I want to live away from him? Absolutely not. I would choose living far away and being with him than not having him at all. I think our mutual motivation to better ourselves though really fuels the relationship. I'm 100% invested in him and one day starting a family but there's so much more to me than that.
  • kwph
    kwph Posts: 7,375 Member
    It's funny cuz alot if couples I know may live 2ghtr,but they're in separate rooms watching TV ,some sleep in separate beds (which I'm not opposed 2) The guys got the man cave etc .....So they may reside at the same house, but live 2 separate lives under the same roof .....
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