Self hate after cheat meal
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matthewhumpherys582
Posts: 5 Member
Hey guys, looking for some support from this awesome community..
I allow myself a cheat meal every week. It's reasonable and I never "over eat." It's part of the meal planning my trainer has me on. Anyways, I always feel terrible and like really hate on myself when I do this. Do you guys have any tips on how to not destroy yourself when you make a mistake in your diet or allow yourself some sweet treat every now and then? I've lost 20 lbs in 2 months (started at 275 no I'm at 252).
I allow myself a cheat meal every week. It's reasonable and I never "over eat." It's part of the meal planning my trainer has me on. Anyways, I always feel terrible and like really hate on myself when I do this. Do you guys have any tips on how to not destroy yourself when you make a mistake in your diet or allow yourself some sweet treat every now and then? I've lost 20 lbs in 2 months (started at 275 no I'm at 252).
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Replies
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If it makes you feel like that, stop doing it13
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Yeah. Definitely! I've been thinking just to cut them out. The deeper question is how do you rebound after eating something that you probably shouldn't??0
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Matt, I have an entire cheat day and I have lost 17 pounds in 7 weeks. It is one day out of the week I get to eat what I miss out on during the week of clean eating. I don't eat back my exercise calories and most days i am usually 200 calories or more below my daily goal. It really comes down to your weekly calorie deficit, which mine is 12,660 calories or less in 6 days. I figure as long as I stay under this i will lose weight. One day isn't going to break me. After my cheat day I usually workout twice on that day.6
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Don't cheat. I work the foods I enjoy into my goals as I can.9
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If its food, its meant to be eaten. For weight loss goals, there are probably some foods you should eat less of, sure. But this is built into your plan, so .... you are are compliant. So why have guilt when you did what you agreed to? No one is measuring for extra compliance.
But I get it. I am more using MFP in order to be nicer to myself. I would starve myself if I didn't have this app to tell me that I can eat my allotted calories and still meet my goals. Overachiever mindset and all that.
I log it and own it. The shadow of imagined wrongs are often larger in your own head. I have often measured up the calories of a wreck of a day and found out, wait, I am only at maintenance for today, or I am still on track for the week. MFP lets me rest easy and put those swirling negative thoughts down.8 -
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There's never a good reason to hate yourself over food. Even if you ate your way through an entire chocolate factory and had a side order of a bakery too. You are still never a bad person just because of what you eat. We all have off days. Log them, move on, do better tomorrow.
My perspective, though, is that I don't "cheat." I could easily eat far more calories than I really wanted to if I did that. I would then be unhappy that I'd erased some of the caloric deficit I worked so hard to achieve. So instead, I sometimes save calories for things I really want, or eat high calorie treats on my long run days.
I also budget for chocolate every day. Yes, chocolate every single day. I love it. I have been tracking and losing weight for over two years and I would not have stuck with it for this long if I couldn't have my chocolate. It's not a mistake to eat foods that you like. It's one of the pleasures of being human. You can incorporate your favorite foods into your diet if they fit your calorie/macro goals.9 -
Please stop punishing yourself. Sometimes we just need those extras. Work a little harder the next day. I used to freak out when I ate half an apple. Now I let it go and I sleep better and the scale goes down the second day.3
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That's awesome, 20 lbs in 2 months! I know how you feel about the cheat meal. I do that too, but I find it easier to just remind myself how I will feel afterwards before I even eat it. It helps me not do the cheat meal or eat much less of it (if I absolutely have to have it).2
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It's possible that calling it a 'cheat day' might have a lot to do with feeling so guilty about it. Often it is the way we perceive a problem rather than the problem itself. If you are losing weight this way..and you said you are. And you have chosen a trainer you trust to guide you and he has suggested you eat a larger meal once a week then you are o.k. 20 pounds in 2 months is great. Now as far as these communities go? There are good ones and others not so good. Just like in real life. Except here you will often run into people that can be just plain mean! Do not take that and run with it! Take the good..and leave the rest behind. Believe in yourself. Trust your trainer. Find some 'good friends' here. 'BlueHorse8' seems to relate well to what you are going through. It is a a learning process..for all of us..so share with us what you discover as you move along. Best wishes!2
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matthewhumpherys582 wrote: »Yeah. Definitely! I've been thinking just to cut them out. The deeper question is how do you rebound after eating something that you probably shouldn't??
You said they are part of your plan for your trainer - they are likely there for a reason! Perhaps ask him to explain why.
You need to stop with all the negative food associations. I've been there, and it caused me so many problems. You need to be comfortable knowing that you can eat what you like, when you like, and still achieve your goals. (I'm in no way suggesting you forego a healthy nutritious diet and fill your calories with doughnuts for breakfast, followed by beer and pizza for dinner every day, just know that eating these foods isn't bad, or a reason to feel guilty - unless of course you stole the food before eating it. Then feel guilty)
Perhaps when you ask your trainer about the purpose of a free meal/refeed, you can express your anxiety at having no parameters. Perhaps he can give you macros/calories to stick to so you know you still have some control over your day?4 -
Kudos on your progress so far, it's clear whatever your trainer has you doing/eating is getting results. Though, if you're having trouble dealing with the "cheat" meal portion of the plan, I wouldn't be afraid to talk to him/her about your feelings about it and see if they have an alternative strategy to suggest. As you lose more weight and get closer to your goal it may get harder to keep seeing results with a lose(r) diet plan. It's possible this cheat meal might be something your trainer structures all of their plans with during the initial phase to help trainees transition into a healthier lifestyle without being overwhelmingly restrictive to promote early buy-in to the program.
Personally, I'm not a fan of designated cheat meals or days; they only serve to structure indulging the very dietary choices and behaviors that created the physiological situation you're trying to solve. Rather than build in a designated meal or day to satiate cravings/desires on a regular basis, be realistic in accepting that, occasionally, mistakes or less-than-healthy choices are going to be made, be prepared to minimize their effect, and try and reduce their frequency.2 -
I personally don't have cheat meals. This doesn't work for everyone, but my "cheat meals" are healthy desserts I've learned to love as I've gotten used to a healthy way of eating. Try finding healthy ways to cheat that are healthy but feel like you are cheating?1
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Stop looking at your food as good and bad, and stop calling it cheating. Call it a refeed meal. Sounds like you are losing at a good rate, so it's not harming your losses. As you get closer to goal, you may need to watch that a little more closely.3
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Disclosure: I'm an emotional eater, a boredom eater, an introvert who generally puts food in her mouth because it's easier than letting small talk come out of it, and I have some minor anxiety issues, especially in social settings. Which is kind of a recipe for hanging out at the buffet table all evening. So...
I keep telling myself that a treat is not a cheat. By which I mean, I don't have 'cheat meals' in the sense of deliberately going over my calories. What I do is try to be realistic about my attitude toward food and recognize that when I go to a birthday party, yes, I want cake and NO I am not going to be happy "virtuously" sipping water and munching on carrot sticks.
So before I go into the situation, I mentally sit down and ask myself, "Now, before the cake is on the table, calling your name like the Dish of the Day in the Hitchhiker's Guide trilogy and begging you to eat it, be honest: how much of the high-calorie stuff do you think you need to eat for you to not feel deprived?" Then I check the database and get an idea of how many calories we're talking about. And then, I enter that amount into the tracker before I even get to the party. (If there's a range, I usually aim for the high side of average; I can adjust later.) This achieves a few things:- I have a reasonable idea of what the cake (or ice cream, or cookie, or whatever) is going to cost me. And while 300 calories, for example, is a significant part of my daily allotment, it's 300 calories. I would have to be 3500 above maintenance to gain a pound. So, if I choose to indulge in the cake...
- I have the cake. Without the side of guilt that has been thrown in for no extra charge in the past. Because I haven't blown anything. The pounds I've already shed aren't going to come flying back onto my hips.
- Sometimes, if I know I ate something high calorie and I haven't pre-logged, I resist entering it into the tracker afterwards. If I don't record it, it didn't happen! Of course, then I feel worse, because I know it really did happen, but as long as I'm not logging and as long as the day is already shot... Well, I might as well see what else is in the fridge, right? Yeah. Not fooling anyone, especially me. Pre-logging keeps me honest and accountable. More to the point, when I write it in ahead of time, I take steps to ensure I don't go over. Smaller meals, more exercise, whatever it takes.
- When I recognize that it's actually okay for me to have that piece of cake, I can enjoy it and then stop and stick to the fruit and veggie platters.
So far, I've dropped 37 lbs in 4 months (Got another 87 to go), and every week, I make room for a couple of pieces of potato kugel and a frosted cookie. I had cake at my nephew's birthday last week. I had latkes and donuts on Hannukah. But it all gets logged and it all stays within my daily totals.
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I wouldn't be having a cheat meal. A calorie deficit diet more or less allows you to eat foods you enjoy.
If you crave a mcdonalds, or chinese, go get it, log it and if your under your calories great, if not take it off the next few days and it works out1 -
While I agree the whole idea of a cheat meal or cheat day is bad because it links emotions to food, I disagree with the idea that there is no such thing as good or bad food. Some food, i.e. Fast food( McDonalds, KFC, Chipotle, Panda Express), is clearly bad and should only be eaten if the only food on the planet and you'd starve to death without it. I tend to categorise these foods as "food like substances" or "not food" in my mind. If it's not food, then it follows there is no point eating it whatsoever as it's harmful to my health...to me it would be equivalent to drinking a bottle of draino..poisoning myself. I don't even crave these bad foods, zero temptation to "cheat." I don't have a cheat meal or cheat day...I just eat healthy. At times I will treat myself...as in a big multi course dinner with a dessert....but it's not cheating so much as planning how I want to spend my daily calories.0
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Have a look at cognitive behavioural therapy, you can do this on line, and it doesn't have to take that long, but you need to learn how to reframe how you think about that "cheat" meal.0
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Don't look at it as a cheat meal and just look at it as any other meal but don't do it often if you feel bad afterwards. This is a lifestyle choice so eat realistically. It's okay to eat what you want like that.0
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