To Date or Not to Date My Workout Partner
BeardedCowboyWarriorTx
Posts: 18 Member
So a little background info... I am 40, a widower and devoted father of 2. My babies are my world. I lost my wife almost 4 years ago and broke up with my girlfriend almost a year ago. I ended it because her parents gave her constant CONSTANT grief about the 15 year age gap (I prefer to date women in the 21-30 age range). It made her miserable and I hated to see her that sad even though she was the love of my life....So bad break breakup.. So I gained weight after that.... Anyway, I was looking for a workout partner to help me get back in shape and found one. She is 21 and not in bad shape. We have been working out for 2 weeks. I've taught her a lot. I am naturally dominant and she is naturally submissive so its worked well. But now she wants to move it to the bed as also FWB. ANd she is a kinky girl lol. But my worry is... Can something like this work? She thinks so.... But I am not so sure. I tend to be the kind of guy who wants a steady woman in my life and to fall in love. Thoughts? Opinions? Advice?
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My first thought.... Troll7
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LOL not a troll. But my friends were very split about it. I figured strangers would give more of an honest opinion.0
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A match made in heaven
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happilymegan wrote: »Okay then I would suggest choosing where you want her. In the gym or bed. But not both.
This.0 -
happilymegan wrote: »Okay then I would suggest choosing where you want her. In the gym or bed. But not both.
See I've had some of my friends tell me this and some say both could work and a couple tell not do either. I like to really think things out before I make a choice that affect more than just myself. This is kind of totally new to me lol.
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She's 21. You're 40. Have fun with her if she's down for it but if you're looking for more, good luck with that one. Just be prepared to lose your work out partner when things go south. Also, honestly, it's really creepy that you're 40 and going after chicks that young. JMHO.
Women around my age usually are boring. Me and my kiddos spend almost every night and weekend either volunteering, or having fun. That's to much for women around my age that I've met. Besides, I want more kiddos one day. Most women around 40 are done having babies.0 -
This is why I'm excited to almost be out of the 20s
30s is a good age range... too old for the creepy "I prefer young girls borderline pedo men" and too young for the "milf fetishists"
It's gonna be great! 
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happilymegan wrote: »She's 21. You're 40. Have fun with her if she's down for it but if you're looking for more, good luck with that one. Just be prepared to lose your work out partner when things go south. Also, honestly, it's really creepy that you're 40 and going after chicks that young. JMHO.
I agree although I can't blame him for wanting to sleep with a 21 year old if she's down. It's also weird him saying he wants love. It's unlikely he's going to find a life partner at 40 with a 21 year old.
I don't blame him for wanting to sleep with a 21 year old either. It's the pursuing the young girls that's creepy. I've been with guys half my age, but I didn't pursue them. I would feel super creepy if I did. I always check ages here before I really flirt with someone.
Actually she pursued me. I was just looking for a workout partner and ran into her. LoL0 -
I don't blame him for wanting to sleep with a 21 year old either. It's the pursuing the young girls that's creepy. I've been with guys half my age, but I didn't pursue them. I would feel super creepy if I did. I always check ages here before I really flirt with someone.
I agree. To a certain degree age is just a number... If you happen to meet someone and connect w/ them, and they just happen to be 20ys older/younger than you, fair play. To each their own.
But to state your age preference range is 20 yrs younger...kinda creepy2 -
I don't blame him for wanting to sleep with a 21 year old either. It's the pursuing the young girls that's creepy. I've been with guys half my age, but I didn't pursue them. I would feel super creepy if I did. I always check ages here before I really flirt with someone.
I agree. To a certain degree age is just a number... If you happen to meet someone and connect w/ them, and they just happen to be 20ys older/younger than you, fair play. To each their own.
But to state your age preference range is 20 yrs younger...kinda creepy
So is it weird if a woman prefers to date someone taller or if someone prefers to date someone interracially? Or only their own race? Or only their own gender? If two people are of legal age why does it matter? My last gf was 24 and I was 39 when we dated... And we were crazy mad in love. But I broke it off because her parents thought it was weird and to big a gap and gave her grief beyond belief. But if I had been black and they gave her the same grief they would have been racist . See my point?0 -
BeardedCowboyWarriorTx wrote: »She's 21. You're 40. Have fun with her if she's down for it but if you're looking for more, good luck with that one. Just be prepared to lose your work out partner when things go south. Also, honestly, it's really creepy that you're 40 and going after chicks that young. JMHO.
Women around my age usually are boring. Me and my kiddos spend almost every night and weekend either volunteering, or having fun. That's to much for women around my age that I've met. Besides, I want more kiddos one day. Most women around 40 are done having babies.
Huh, who knew I was boring just because I'm 47.
LOL maybe your a lot of fun! But all the women I meet around my age are not. Seriously whats wrong with wanting to NOT be home all the time.0 -
At your age & with children in tow, I wouldn't be; seeking and/or accepting anyone, under 30; as anything except a coworker! To me it's even creepy that your exercise partner's under 30, it seems that you've even chosen this as a potential dating situation; whether you made the 1st move beyond that or not!2
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BeardedCowboyWarriorTx wrote: »So is it weird if a woman prefers to date someone taller or if someone prefers to date someone interracially? Or only their own race? Or only their own gender? If two people are of legal age why does it matter? My last gf was 24 and I was 39 when we dated... And we were crazy mad in love. But I broke it off because her parents thought it was weird and to big a gap and gave her grief beyond belief. But if I had been black and they gave her the same grief they would have been racist . See my point?
I get you...consenting adults can do as they please. If two people are attracted to each other, or if they get some other mutual benefit out of the arrangement, then go for it!
But socially and historically there's weird things that come up with gender and age that make it not the same
Of course young girls are appealing...their bodies are likely tighter and firmer, they're more submissive, often more financially dependent (which can make a man feel powerful). But I find something manly and sexy (and un-"compensating for something") about a man who pursues his intellectual/developmental equal.
But that's just my opinion. And you know what they say about opinions being like a##holes and all that...
You do you, OP2 -
She wants a fwb, but you like steady and falling in love. Those are two different things. If you're OK with this chick meeting your kids but not staying in your lives, then sure go for it.1
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BeardedCowboyWarriorTx wrote: »I don't blame him for wanting to sleep with a 21 year old either. It's the pursuing the young girls that's creepy. I've been with guys half my age, but I didn't pursue them. I would feel super creepy if I did. I always check ages here before I really flirt with someone.
I agree. To a certain degree age is just a number... If you happen to meet someone and connect w/ them, and they just happen to be 20ys older/younger than you, fair play. To each their own.
But to state your age preference range is 20 yrs younger...kinda creepy
So is it weird if a woman prefers to date someone taller or if someone prefers to date someone interracially? Or only their own race? Or only their own gender? If two people are of legal age why does it matter? My last gf was 24 and I was 39 when we dated... And we were crazy mad in love. But I broke it off because her parents thought it was weird and to big a gap and gave her grief beyond belief. But if I had been black and they gave her the same grief they would have been racist . See my point?
As being the significantly older of even 2 adults, you should be so much more mature than a 21 year old to; not've enough in common with each other to even seek someone that young! That's why, it's so grotesque!2 -
BeardedCowboyWarriorTx wrote: »So is it weird if a woman prefers to date someone taller or if someone prefers to date someone interracially? Or only their own race? Or only their own gender? If two people are of legal age why does it matter? My last gf was 24 and I was 39 when we dated... And we were crazy mad in love. But I broke it off because her parents thought it was weird and to big a gap and gave her grief beyond belief. But if I had been black and they gave her the same grief they would have been racist . See my point?
I get you...consenting adults can do as they please. If two people are attracted to each other, or if they get some other mutual benefit out of the arrangement, then go for it!
But socially and historically there's weird things that come up with gender and age that make it not the same
Of course young girls are appealing...their bodies are likely tighter and firmer, they're more submissive, often more financially dependent (which can make a man feel powerful). But I find something manly and sexy (and un-"compensating for something") about a man who pursues his intellectual/developmental equal.
But that's just my opinion. And you know what they say about opinions being like a##holes and all that...
You do you, OP
I get your point and appreciate that. And its not like I am not attracted to women my age. Or even havent dated women my age. Its just literally they are boring. Maybe I just haven't found the one who matches my get up and go. I don't know. But I really doubt Id meet any 40 year olds who wanted to have more kids.0 -
DeficitDuchess wrote: »At your age & with children in tow, I wouldn't be; seeking and/or accepting anyone, under 30; as anything except a coworker! To me it's even creepy that your exercise partner's under 30, it seems that you've even chosen this as a potential dating situation; whether you made the 1st move beyond that or not!
High fives! Nailed it!
^5 & thank you!1 -
She wants a fwb, but you like steady and falling in love. Those are two different things. If you're OK with this chick meeting your kids but not staying in your lives, then sure go for it.
Yes, this is another thing. Not good for the kids to have random chicks passing through their lives. A 21 year old is not going to be in for the long haul with a 40 year old.
My kids who never meet a woman I didn't plan on marrying.0 -
synchrony7 wrote: »A match made in heaven
Your true colours shining through...0 -
BeardedCowboyWarriorTx wrote: »BeardedCowboyWarriorTx wrote: »So is it weird if a woman prefers to date someone taller or if someone prefers to date someone interracially? Or only their own race? Or only their own gender? If two people are of legal age why does it matter? My last gf was 24 and I was 39 when we dated... And we were crazy mad in love. But I broke it off because her parents thought it was weird and to big a gap and gave her grief beyond belief. But if I had been black and they gave her the same grief they would have been racist . See my point?
I get you...consenting adults can do as they please. If two people are attracted to each other, or if they get some other mutual benefit out of the arrangement, then go for it!
But socially and historically there's weird things that come up with gender and age that make it not the same
Of course young girls are appealing...their bodies are likely tighter and firmer, they're more submissive, often more financially dependent (which can make a man feel powerful). But I find something manly and sexy (and un-"compensating for something") about a man who pursues his intellectual/developmental equal.
But that's just my opinion. And you know what they say about opinions being like a##holes and all that...
You do you, OP
I get your point and appreciate that. And its not like I am not attracted to women my age. Or even havent dated women my age. Its just literally they are boring. Maybe I just haven't found the one who matches my get up and go. I don't know. But I really doubt Id meet any 40 year olds who wanted to have more kids.
Which's why it's fine for, you to seek someone in; their 30's but 20's borderline pedophilia!2 -
happilymegan wrote: »She's 21. You're 40. Have fun with her if she's down for it but if you're looking for more, good luck with that one. Just be prepared to lose your work out partner when things go south. Also, honestly, it's really creepy that you're 40 and going after chicks that young. JMHO.
I agree although I can't blame him for wanting to sleep with a 21 year old if she's down. It's also weird him saying he wants love. It's unlikely he's going to find a life partner at 40 with a 21 year old.
My cousin married a man who was in his 50's when she was the age of 19. They were married for 21 years. So yeah. Crazy world eh?0 -
..... like a screen-door in a hurricane.3
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BeardedCowboyWarriorTx wrote: »BeardedCowboyWarriorTx wrote: »So is it weird if a woman prefers to date someone taller or if someone prefers to date someone interracially? Or only their own race? Or only their own gender? If two people are of legal age why does it matter? My last gf was 24 and I was 39 when we dated... And we were crazy mad in love. But I broke it off because her parents thought it was weird and to big a gap and gave her grief beyond belief. But if I had been black and they gave her the same grief they would have been racist . See my point?
I get you...consenting adults can do as they please. If two people are attracted to each other, or if they get some other mutual benefit out of the arrangement, then go for it!
But socially and historically there's weird things that come up with gender and age that make it not the same
Of course young girls are appealing...their bodies are likely tighter and firmer, they're more submissive, often more financially dependent (which can make a man feel powerful). But I find something manly and sexy (and un-"compensating for something") about a man who pursues his intellectual/developmental equal.
But that's just my opinion. And you know what they say about opinions being like a##holes and all that...
You do you, OP
I get your point and appreciate that. And its not like I am not attracted to women my age. Or even havent dated women my age. Its just literally they are boring. Maybe I just haven't found the one who matches my get up and go. I don't know. But I really doubt Id meet any 40 year olds who wanted to have more kids.
Sorry, I'm really just debating this because I think it's an interesting topic. Not trying to put you on the spot OP.
What if you met a 40something that had your same get up and go, and you loved her madly, but she was done having children or didn't want children. Would that be a deal breaker? and since you already do have children, why would it be deal breaker?
I am not sure if it would be a deal breaker. I have always envisioned myself having 3 or 4 kids. I have 2 brothers and sister so grew up in a big family. But if I met a woman, say she was 45, or had a zest for life and I fell hard for her. I might look past having more kids.0 -
BeardedCowboyWarriorTx wrote: »I don't blame him for wanting to sleep with a 21 year old either. It's the pursuing the young girls that's creepy. I've been with guys half my age, but I didn't pursue them. I would feel super creepy if I did. I always check ages here before I really flirt with someone.
I agree. To a certain degree age is just a number... If you happen to meet someone and connect w/ them, and they just happen to be 20ys older/younger than you, fair play. To each their own.
But to state your age preference range is 20 yrs younger...kinda creepy
So is it weird if a woman prefers to date someone taller or if someone prefers to date someone interracially? Or only their own race? Or only their own gender? If two people are of legal age why does it matter? My last gf was 24 and I was 39 when we dated... And we were crazy mad in love. But I broke it off because her parents thought it was weird and to big a gap and gave her grief beyond belief. But if I had been black and they gave her the same grief they would have been racist . See my point?
I love these comparisons. Very insightful.
I am not sure why this post reminded of this:
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BeardedCowboyWarriorTx wrote: »She's 21. You're 40. Have fun with her if she's down for it but if you're looking for more, good luck with that one. Just be prepared to lose your work out partner when things go south. Also, honestly, it's really creepy that you're 40 and going after chicks that young. JMHO.
Women around my age usually are boring. Me and my kiddos spend almost every night and weekend either volunteering, or having fun. That's to much for women around my age that I've met. Besides, I want more kiddos one day. Most women around 40 are done having babies.
Huh, who knew I was boring just because I'm 47.
hahah I
you for your comments on this
first off I'm adding an ick for the fact you met this woman when she was 19 and you're old enough to be her dad but as @jenmar22 said you do you and lucky for us old boring 40 somethings if you do in fact do you.
@jtegirl1 I say we go be boring 40 somethings together...I'd suspect we are nothing close to boring and this "gentleman" couldn't keep up with us2 -
BeardedCowboyWarriorTx wrote: »I don't blame him for wanting to sleep with a 21 year old either. It's the pursuing the young girls that's creepy. I've been with guys half my age, but I didn't pursue them. I would feel super creepy if I did. I always check ages here before I really flirt with someone.
I agree. To a certain degree age is just a number... If you happen to meet someone and connect w/ them, and they just happen to be 20ys older/younger than you, fair play. To each their own.
But to state your age preference range is 20 yrs younger...kinda creepy
So is it weird if a woman prefers to date someone taller or if someone prefers to date someone interracially? Or only their own race? Or only their own gender? If two people are of legal age why does it matter? My last gf was 24 and I was 39 when we dated... And we were crazy mad in love. But I broke it off because her parents thought it was weird and to big a gap and gave her grief beyond belief. But if I had been black and they gave her the same grief they would have been racist . See my point?
Haha wow that's not at all the same.
You have children and are a widower who at the time was pushing 40, and she was only 24. I don't blame her parents for being weary due to the fact that you were at extremely different stages in life. I'm not saying that a chance shouldn't have been given to you, but that shouldn't be equated to blatant racism.
Exactly different, life stages! I notice how these men that seek 20 somethings typically, keep their range beginning at 21 rather; than 20! Why because 21's legal drinking age so, obviously having a current life stage within; that facet's very important to them!1 -
Long term relationship?
When she's 35 you're going to be over 55. Men over 55 weird women in their thirties out. Source: my friends and I are all in our mid thirties and we don't find old men hot. They start looking all grandpa when we are still into men. If you can figure out a way to stay 40 you might have a chance...
If you can't workout and stay 40 when you're really 50+...might as well just get in while the gettings good, and then get out.3
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