Desperate for help from this community - falling off the wagon big time
Wan718
Posts: 14 Member
I don't really know where to go or who to talk to about this so I am going to try here, as I feel you folks here are generally quite supportive and understanding. I am sorry this is such a long post, I just don't know what to do.
Background: I have been dieting since high school, I have a few successes where I lost 20-25 pounds. But I have never been able to maintain that for any period of time, it just bounces back overnight. Since then I have developed this diet-binge-diet circle. You all know the drill. Carbs (not necessarily sugary) is my go to binge food. I actually quite into workout and fitness - I go to gym 4 -5 times a week, mostly weights and functional training. I don't do lots of cardio simply because I can't stand the thought of doing the same thing for over 15 minutes.
My current issue is: I have recently moved from Europe to the US in Jan. The first month I was able to maintain a relatively moderate and relaxed diet - meaning I don't go crazy on carbs for more than 2 times a week. Work out 5-6 times a week thanks to the home gym. But since mid-Feb I moved to a proper apartment, I started falling of the wagon over and over again (back to back days) that I can't even control what I eat and how much I eat. I am still tracking honestly and when I see those numbers in the app I freak out. And I was able to lose weight in the first 1.5 months but now I have gained all them back, in 2 weeks.
I don't really know what to do now, I feel this constant pressure that I need to go back to my ideal weight before May so I can start a new job/new life fresh (currently waiting for my work permit and also job searching). I don't know if it is the pressure from job searching or anything that has messed up with my hormone. I have tried drinking a LOT of water, with fiber, high-fat breakfast, IF, deep breathing, HIIT etc. None of those seems to be able to curb my carb craziness. I feel that my life is being consumed and I really want to focus my energy on meaningful things instead of thinking about what else can I eat today.
If anyone could share with me what you think could work in my situation, I would be very very very grateful.
Background: I have been dieting since high school, I have a few successes where I lost 20-25 pounds. But I have never been able to maintain that for any period of time, it just bounces back overnight. Since then I have developed this diet-binge-diet circle. You all know the drill. Carbs (not necessarily sugary) is my go to binge food. I actually quite into workout and fitness - I go to gym 4 -5 times a week, mostly weights and functional training. I don't do lots of cardio simply because I can't stand the thought of doing the same thing for over 15 minutes.
My current issue is: I have recently moved from Europe to the US in Jan. The first month I was able to maintain a relatively moderate and relaxed diet - meaning I don't go crazy on carbs for more than 2 times a week. Work out 5-6 times a week thanks to the home gym. But since mid-Feb I moved to a proper apartment, I started falling of the wagon over and over again (back to back days) that I can't even control what I eat and how much I eat. I am still tracking honestly and when I see those numbers in the app I freak out. And I was able to lose weight in the first 1.5 months but now I have gained all them back, in 2 weeks.
I don't really know what to do now, I feel this constant pressure that I need to go back to my ideal weight before May so I can start a new job/new life fresh (currently waiting for my work permit and also job searching). I don't know if it is the pressure from job searching or anything that has messed up with my hormone. I have tried drinking a LOT of water, with fiber, high-fat breakfast, IF, deep breathing, HIIT etc. None of those seems to be able to curb my carb craziness. I feel that my life is being consumed and I really want to focus my energy on meaningful things instead of thinking about what else can I eat today.
If anyone could share with me what you think could work in my situation, I would be very very very grateful.
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Replies
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You need to find food peace and lose the fear of foods. Investigate where the fear of "carbs" comes from. I suggest you set up MFP to lose 1% of your weight per week, and aim to hit that calorie goal every day. Plan regular, balanced and proper meals with a littlebit of everything you fancy. MFP's default macro setting is good - set up your diary to track protein, fat and carbohydrate, and try to hit those too.
If this doesn't work, get professional help.2 -
kommodevaran wrote: »You need to find food peace and lose the fear of foods. Investigate where the fear of "carbs" comes from. I suggest you set up MFP to lose 1% of your weight per week, and aim to hit that calorie goal every day. Plan regular, balanced and proper meals with a littlebit of everything you fancy. MFP's default macro setting is good - set up your diary to track protein, fat and carbohydrate, and try to hit those too.
If this doesn't work, get professional help.
Thank you! I was able to do that in the first 1.5 months and I thought everything is finally back to normal. I didn't have to try too hard to keep a good caloric balance and was still able to eat a little bit of what I like. Now it is like i am a completely different person when it comes to food. I don't know what I need to do to get back to where I was a month ago...0 -
I've been yoyoing 29 years / 47 years my whole adult life and it is demoralising
I lose slow as yoyoing so then get frustrated as I am very strict probably too strict that once I have a treat it doesn't stop at a day off its a month then 6 months off
Why
Lifestyle change .... I don't make it I throw myself into those meal replacement vlcd diets then get sick then go back to eating too much
Now I'm trying to get my head into gear and realise I won't lose 2-4 lbs a week and it will take me prob a year to lose these 38 lbs I gained after I lost 63lbs last year
You need to find a workable lifestyle calorie counting and a realistic exercise plan because the only person who matters is you and doing loads exercise sounds like to me too much pressure 3 times a week is good and sticking to your calories
I eat porridge has carbs but is really filling I eat 2 bowls a day sometimes as I don't get mad carb cravings I also eat chicken as its protein and filling I have treats I find the lowest calorie ones to satisfy my cravings
Don't be too strict with food and exercise this should be a lifestyle change or you'll be like me always losing and gaining1 -
It actually sounds like the stress of moving and visa applications and job hunting is what is tripping you up here. You're using food as your coping mechanism. Which is exactly what I used for, to self medicate. So it may be best to approach this as finding new strategies and coping mechanisms to get you through this period that isn't food related.
As a start I would get rid of the things you binge on. Get it out of the house/apartment. Do your best to only ever buy one single serve if you really fancy it. Don't even bother going down the aisle in the supermarket with those items. Just try hitting your maintenance calories to begin with, to try and get some control back and to feel like you have some control.
Exercise has largely become my new coping mechanism, I also just get up and have a little wander round my very small flat if I'm feeling fidgety in a way that would have resulted in me mindlessly snacking before. Say hi to the cats. Load the dishwasher. Put a wash on. Distraction.
And mostly, just be forgiving of yourself. Reprimanding yourself for "failing" will only perpetuate the behaviour. You have a lot going on, changing everything at once is overwhelming so just go for little things here and there.6 -
I've been yoyoing 29 years / 47 years my whole adult life and it is demoralising
I lose slow as yoyoing so then get frustrated as I am very strict probably too strict that once I have a treat it doesn't stop at a day off its a month then 6 months off
Why
Lifestyle change .... I don't make it I throw myself into those meal replacement vlcd diets then get sick then go back to eating too much
Now I'm trying to get my head into gear and realise I won't lose 2-4 lbs a week and it will take me prob a year to lose these 38 lbs I gained after I lost 63lbs last year
You need to find a workable lifestyle calorie counting and a realistic exercise plan because the only person who matters is you and doing loads exercise sounds like to me too much pressure 3 times a week is good and sticking to your calories
I eat porridge has carbs but is really filling I eat 2 bowls a day sometimes as I don't get mad carb cravings I also eat chicken as its protein and filling I have treats I find the lowest calorie ones to satisfy my cravings
Don't be too strict with food and exercise this should be a lifestyle change or you'll be like me always losing and gaining
Thank you so much for saying this. I know too well what yoyoing is like. For 30 years of my life all I remembered was hiding in my room and devouring a storage box of food, that was my safe place when no one was there for me. I guess I am attached because food is always there for me, no one else.
I actually enjoyed working out 5 times a week - I don't have a very active lifestyle, particularly now that i am jobless. I need a reason to get out of the house. But I will try not restricting as much...
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I really want to focus my energy on meaningful things instead of thinking about what else can I eat today.
I think I may have been in the same boat as you. I'm a bored and stressed eater. If I am bored (like at my desk job), I eat. If I'm stressed about a life situation I feel out of control in, I eat. Especially carbs. I've worked out regularly for years, and I know what's healthy to eat, and what isn't, but I just couldn't seem to stop gaining weight, little by little. I even became a Certified Personal Trainer to try to reap the benefits of having a trainer without having to hire one. Now I know a ton of different modalities for weight loss, and I write myself killer programs, but honestly the one thing that has truly helped me the most... has been filling my time with activities that are meaningful to me. All my time. It's a rare night I have time to just veg out with TV or something, but I like it that way. If I am focused on building my online training business, working on art commissions, scuba diving, planning activities with friends, and other things I feel intrinsically motivated to do (i.e. constantly giving myself healthy dopamine hits), I find I have to *remember* to eat, which is a complete 180 from how I was a year ago (basically killing time between the times I get to eat), and I don't crave carbs anywhere near as much.
So, are there things you can add to your life right now that give you joy? That put you in a flow state, where time doesn't exist and it's just you and the activity? Things that recharge you?
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I think stressors play a big role in our desire to eat. Your current job situation and other factors have probably become so overwhelming that you are seeking comfort in foods. I can relate since I was an emotional eater most of my life. I don't really have any tips on how to overcome it. It seems that some people are more susceptible to it than others. I really wish you the best and hope you can find a solution.
Maybe therapy could be an option at some point if it is causing you this much anxiety.0 -
madthetrainer wrote: »I really want to focus my energy on meaningful things instead of thinking about what else can I eat today.
I think I may have been in the same boat as you. I'm a bored and stressed eater. If I am bored (like at my desk job), I eat. If I'm stressed about a life situation I feel out of control in, I eat. Especially carbs. I've worked out regularly for years, and I know what's healthy to eat, and what isn't, but I just couldn't seem to stop gaining weight, little by little. I even became a Certified Personal Trainer to try to reap the benefits of having a trainer without having to hire one. Now I know a ton of different modalities for weight loss, and I write myself killer programs, but honestly the one thing that has truly helped me the most... has been filling my time with activities that are meaningful to me. All my time. It's a rare night I have time to just veg out with TV or something, but I like it that way. If I am focused on building my online training business, working on art commissions, scuba diving, planning activities with friends, and other things I feel intrinsically motivated to do (i.e. constantly giving myself healthy dopamine hits), I find I have to *remember* to eat, which is a complete 180 from how I was a year ago (basically killing time between the times I get to eat), and I don't crave carbs anywhere near as much.
So, are there things you can add to your life right now that give you joy? That put you in a flow state, where time doesn't exist and it's just you and the activity? Things that recharge you?
Thanks for the insight! I do think keeping myself busy is THE best way to go! It is just that I am very home bound working on my marketing thesis and looking for a job that gives me too much time by myself...I have signed up with a few volunteer opportunities and also going to networking events (sometimes this stresses me out even more!) I do hope this helps to change the situation!
I agree with exactly what you say - I know the do's and don'ts and I was able to perform it well. I just wanted to be back to where I started.1 -
leejoyce31 wrote: »I think stressors play a big role in our desire to eat. Your current job situation and other factors have probably become so overwhelming that you are seeking comfort in foods. I can relate since I was an emotional eater most of my life. I don't really have any tips on how to overcome it. It seems that some people are more susceptible to it than others. I really wish you the best and hope you can find a solution.
Maybe therapy could be an option at some point if it is causing you this much anxiety.
Thanks for this! I think I have grown out of the stressed eater phase (I was before definitely) and not I am more like a boredom eater. When I overeat my productivity level goes down the drain. I feel like I am wasting too much of my life on food...0 -
I will be 49 on Saturday and it's just been in the past few months that I've finally found a balance that I can live with regarding my weight and eating. I've come to realize that food and my weight is something I'll always struggle with and I've come to terms with the fact that if I have more good days than bad then I'm on the right track.
I no longer think about how much weight I have to lose. I eat healthy, count my calories to make sure I'm under or at maintenance, and I found exercise that I love to do so I don't feel like I have to do it. Sloooooowly the weight is coming off. And I mean really slowly but I'm finding that I'm happy with that because I've finally found a balance to my life that had been missing.
So I guess what I'm saying is that the change has to come from within you. You have to come to terms with your thoughts about food, weight loss and working out, and you have to find that balance. It will take time. It won't happen overnight, and it will take a lot of trial and error on your part but if you keep at it, you will find it.
It sounds like you've already tried other things that aren't working so you're already ahead of the game.
I know this isn't a great answer or an easy answer but I don't think there is any easy answer.
For most of us food has become something much more than sustenance and until we deal with that, we will continue to yo-yo.0 -
I will be 49 on Saturday and it's just been in the past few months that I've finally found a balance that I can live with regarding my weight and eating. I've come to realize that food and my weight is something I'll always struggle with and I've come to terms with the fact that if I have more good days than bad then I'm on the right track.
I no longer think about how much weight I have to lose. I eat healthy, count my calories to make sure I'm under or at maintenance, and I found exercise that I love to do so I don't feel like I have to do it. Sloooooowly the weight is coming off. And I mean really slowly but I'm finding that I'm happy with that because I've finally found a balance to my life that had been missing.
So I guess what I'm saying is that the change has to come from within you. You have to come to terms with your thoughts about food, weight loss and working out, and you have to find that balance. It will take time. It won't happen overnight, and it will take a lot of trial and error on your part but if you keep at it, you will find it.
It sounds like you've already tried other things that aren't working so you're already ahead of the game.
I know this isn't a great answer or an easy answer but I don't think there is any easy answer.
For most of us food has become something much more than sustenance and until we deal with that, we will continue to yo-yo.
Thank you so much Sharon. I guess I always thought that when it happens, it will happen quick and fast. But maybe I will have to come to terms with the fact that it will be a life long process. I am horrified just with the thought of that.0 -
I am absolutely a boredom eater. I never eat from stress, and if I get depressed I actually LOSE weight, so for me it is all about staying busy.
I am older - 61 - and I have definitely had my phases. I never reached the point of obesity, but I was unhappily heavy. Around the age of 25 or so, I lost down to a healthy weight - stopped drinking alcohol even - really cut back on junk. And I stayed there for a long time. Started running and joined a gym at 27 - the best thing I ever did. Stayed regular with both. Then got married, had a baby, and split up 5 years later. I was 42. Stopped running. No time for the gym. Parents moved in with me while they were looking for a house. Cue up the weight!! I gained nearly 60 pounds over 5 years. Got up to almost 200. My sis was having success with WW, and suggested I give it a try, and I did. (I never joined - I just bought the materials on eBay) I lost 60 pounds in 2 years - most of it the first year. Back at the gym, back to running, and I swore I would never have to buy a new wardrobe again.
The main thing I learned - I have to always log my calories, and I need to stay busy.
2 years ago I fell off the "logging wagon" and I put on 10 pounds. I lost that last year, and then gained it right back plus nearly 10 more. So I got mad at myself and I am determined to lose back to my happy weight, and stay there. I know I have to log, always, to keep myself honest. I don't have any internal "calorie counter" like some people say they do...I tend to forget what I ate at breakfast if I want something good at dinner.
But I get some kind of exercise every single day, even if it is just walking 10k steps...that is my minimum. I ride a bike, workout at the gym...and try to stay busy.
I don't know if that helps, but it's all I got.
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fitmom4lifemfp wrote: »I am absolutely a boredom eater. I never eat from stress, and if I get depressed I actually LOSE weight, so for me it is all about staying busy.
I am older - 61 - and I have definitely had my phases. I never reached the point of obesity, but I was unhappily heavy. Around the age of 25 or so, I lost down to a healthy weight - stopped drinking alcohol even - really cut back on junk. And I stayed there for a long time. Started running and joined a gym at 27 - the best thing I ever did. Stayed regular with both. Then got married, had a baby, and split up 5 years later. I was 42. Stopped running. No time for the gym. Parents moved in with me while they were looking for a house. Cue up the weight!! I gained nearly 60 pounds over 5 years. Got up to almost 200. My sis was having success with WW, and suggested I give it a try, and I did. (I never joined - I just bought the materials on eBay) I lost 60 pounds in 2 years - most of it the first year. Back at the gym, back to running, and I swore I would never have to buy a new wardrobe again.
The main thing I learned - I have to always log my calories, and I need to stay busy.
2 years ago I fell off the "logging wagon" and I put on 10 pounds. I lost that last year, and then gained it right back plus nearly 10 more. So I got mad at myself and I am determined to lose back to my happy weight, and stay there. I know I have to log, always, to keep myself honest. I don't have any internal "calorie counter" like some people say they do...I tend to forget what I ate at breakfast if I want something good at dinner. But I get some kind of exercise every single day, even if it is just walking 10k steps...that is my minimum. I ride a bike, workout at the gym...and try to stay busy.
I don't know if that helps, but it's all I got.
I really appreciate your input - thanks so much. You folks are amazingly.0
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