Self hate after cheat meal

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  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,867 Member
    edited March 2017
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    Call it something else that doesn't have a negative connotation like "cheating" does. My trainer has me do a re-feed once per week when I'm dieting too.

    I don't log, so I basically follow a "meal plan" that involves a whole lot of whole foods and quality nutrition as it is much more difficult for me to over eat this way...but my wife and I split a small pizza from our favorite pizzeria most Friday nights. I don't call it "cheating"...I call it pizza and movie night. It's a fun little family affair...pick up a pizza for the boys and for us and sit down to a nice movie and family time.
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
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    matthewhumpherys582 wrote: »
    Yeah. Definitely! I've been thinking just to cut them out. The deeper question is how do you rebound after eating something that you probably shouldn't??

    What exactly is it that you are eating that you feel you shouldn't? Is it the food itself, or the quantity of food that is bothering you? What kinds of foods were you eating before you started losing weight, and have you made drastic changes in your overall diet such that your regular meals are very different, and when you have one of these planned cheat meals (aka refeed days to use maybe a less controversial term) then you feel like you are going to fall back in old ways?

    You said you don't overdo it - it seems to me that this is more about the mental aspect of this than the food itself. That is exactly why so many of us despise the phrase "cheat meal" as it does tend to create this perception of being bad in some people who may already be struggling with feelings of guilt or other challenges around the commitment they are making to their health.

    I think that having a positive attitude about food and understanding that there are no bad foods in the context of an overall healthy diet is so critical for long term success.

    Good luck.
  • kk_inprogress
    kk_inprogress Posts: 3,077 Member
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    There are likely few people who have ever started a calorie deficit and not felt some degree of discomfort on days the deficit wasn't maintained or they ate a food that has been deemed "bad." I've definitely been there.

    It makes a huge difference to focus on the "big picture." Keep in mind that you've lost 20 pounds already and that's fantastic! I also like to remind myself what my overages REALLY mean. It takes 3,500 extra calories to gain a pound...when I have a 200 calorie overage, I like to remind myself how small that is in the scheme of things.

    As far as certain foods go, don't demonized them. There are some foods that are going to sustain you longer and provide good nutrition your body can use more efficiently, but it doesn't mean you have to feel poorly after eating something that isn't ideal for that. Fast food is HARDLY close to drinking Drano, as some would imply. Your body is meant to get rid of waste and will do so if the ingredients are not providing nutrition and you can move on.

    If these days of overages are really harming to your mental health, then don't do them. It's what YOU'RE comfortable with, not your trainer.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    Macy9336 wrote: »
    While I agree the whole idea of a cheat meal or cheat day is bad because it links emotions to food, I disagree with the idea that there is no such thing as good or bad food. Some food, i.e. Fast food( McDonalds, KFC, Chipotle, Panda Express), is clearly bad and should only be eaten if the only food on the planet and you'd starve to death without it. I tend to categorise these foods as "food like substances" or "not food" in my mind. If it's not food, then it follows there is no point eating it whatsoever as it's harmful to my health...to me it would be equivalent to drinking a bottle of draino..poisoning myself. I don't even crave these bad foods, zero temptation to "cheat." I don't have a cheat meal or cheat day...I just eat healthy. At times I will treat myself...as in a big multi course dinner with a dessert....but it's not cheating so much as planning how I want to spend my daily calories.

    Ok, while I'm not particularly a huge fan of most fast food, I really don't see how Chipotle gets in there...how are some beans and rice and some kind of protein in a soft corn tortilla not food. I don't eat there really, but I make that at home all of the time...

    And to call eating fast food the equivalent to drinking draino is ridiculous. I think you have a little orthorexia going on there or something...

    Heck, I get Pret a Manger or the like about once a week (if Chitpotle fits, I'd assume Pret would). Guess I'm basically gargling drano. ;-)

    I don't even think of it as a cheat meal, as it usually fits within my goals.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
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    matthewhumpherys582 wrote: »
    Hey guys, looking for some support from this awesome community..

    I allow myself a cheat meal every week. It's reasonable and I never "over eat." It's part of the meal planning my trainer has me on. Anyways, I always feel terrible and like really hate on myself when I do this. Do you guys have any tips on how to not destroy yourself when you make a mistake in your diet or allow yourself some sweet treat every now and then? I've lost 20 lbs in 2 months (started at 275 no I'm at 252).

    Matthew,

    Congratulations on your weight loss!!

    If you're eating more on one day, but you are still losing weight, then it seems to me all is fine.

    The reason you feel guilty, in my humble opinion, is because you see eating more as a cheat day, which implies you are doing something wrong. As long as you stay within your weekly calorie goals, feel free to eat more on some days, less on others!
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
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    Macy9336 wrote: »
    While I agree the whole idea of a cheat meal or cheat day is bad because it links emotions to food, I disagree with the idea that there is no such thing as good or bad food. Some food, i.e. Fast food( McDonalds, KFC, Chipotle, Panda Express), is clearly bad and should only be eaten if the only food on the planet and you'd starve to death without it. I tend to categorise these foods as "food like substances" or "not food" in my mind. If it's not food, then it follows there is no point eating it whatsoever as it's harmful to my health...to me it would be equivalent to drinking a bottle of draino..poisoning myself. I don't even crave these bad foods, zero temptation to "cheat." I don't have a cheat meal or cheat day...I just eat healthy. At times I will treat myself...as in a big multi course dinner with a dessert....but it's not cheating so much as planning how I want to spend my daily calories.

    Macy,

    I agree that defining certain meals or days as cheating is not a good idea because an emotional relationship with food is established. I agree with planning those days when we want to eat more, or treat ourselves.

    However, the bold portion of your posting indicates an incredibly unhealthy relationship with food. Food is not good or bad in and of itself, it's just food. A nice piece of chocolate is just as healthy as a bowl of green beans or a juicy steak, as long as they are eaten in moderation. The goal is to stay within calorie goals to meet your weight management needs, and then to meet your macro needs.

    I am intolerant to lactose and wheat, and have trouble with soy, but that does not mean that any of these foods are bad, or even good. They are just foods. :)
  • KayCeeRein
    KayCeeRein Posts: 44 Member
    edited March 2017
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    The only way not to feel "bad" is to address why you feel bad. If your goal is to lose weight, embrace moderation, and generally make choices which fuel your brain and body in a health-giving manner there is no reason you can't have times where you have whatever you darn well choose. Clearly it isn't impacting your progress. However, we are all human, and as a human we are fabulous about fabricating things to be upset about.

    The reality is that you have nothing whatsoever to feel badly about, and you are reacting to something which you've fabricated in your mind. It's really important for you to look at your food logically, and not emotionally so that you can analyze why exactly you are feeling this way. Does eating food outside of your plan make you feel out of control? Or does it make you feel like you are unsuccessful? Have you previously tied eating to soothe negative emotions, and now the reminder of those negative things are preventing you from truly enjoying what you eat? It may not seem helpful, but if you can identify WHY you feel badly, and then change your position from one of emotion to one of logic (ie: from "I'm horrible! I can't believe I am doing this, I suck" to "This is really delicious, and I am going to enjoy this experience and moment thoroughly") you will find that not only will you be more successful in your progress, but you will also benefit mentally from the sheer joy of eating.
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,344 Member
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    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    Macy9336 wrote: »
    While I agree the whole idea of a cheat meal or cheat day is bad because it links emotions to food, I disagree with the idea that there is no such thing as good or bad food. Some food, i.e. Fast food( McDonalds, KFC, Chipotle, Panda Express), is clearly bad and should only be eaten if the only food on the planet and you'd starve to death without it. I tend to categorise these foods as "food like substances" or "not food" in my mind. If it's not food, then it follows there is no point eating it whatsoever as it's harmful to my health...to me it would be equivalent to drinking a bottle of draino..poisoning myself. I don't even crave these bad foods, zero temptation to "cheat." I don't have a cheat meal or cheat day...I just eat healthy. At times I will treat myself...as in a big multi course dinner with a dessert....but it's not cheating so much as planning how I want to spend my daily calories.

    Ok, while I'm not particularly a huge fan of most fast food, I really don't see how Chipotle gets in there...how are some beans and rice and some kind of protein in a soft corn tortilla not food. I don't eat there really, but I make that at home all of the time...

    And to call eating fast food the equivalent to drinking draino is ridiculous. I think you have a little orthorexia going on there or something...

    And how does Panda Express end up on that hit list? Granted, many of their dishes are high in sodium (as is the case with a lot of Chinese food), but what's "unclean" or "poisonous" about steamed vegetables, white rice, teriyaki chicken, broccoli beef, etc? And their orange chicken is a bit high in calories (380 per serving, IIRC), but very tasty.
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
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    AnvilHead wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    Macy9336 wrote: »
    While I agree the whole idea of a cheat meal or cheat day is bad because it links emotions to food, I disagree with the idea that there is no such thing as good or bad food. Some food, i.e. Fast food( McDonalds, KFC, Chipotle, Panda Express), is clearly bad and should only be eaten if the only food on the planet and you'd starve to death without it. I tend to categorise these foods as "food like substances" or "not food" in my mind. If it's not food, then it follows there is no point eating it whatsoever as it's harmful to my health...to me it would be equivalent to drinking a bottle of draino..poisoning myself. I don't even crave these bad foods, zero temptation to "cheat." I don't have a cheat meal or cheat day...I just eat healthy. At times I will treat myself...as in a big multi course dinner with a dessert....but it's not cheating so much as planning how I want to spend my daily calories.

    Ok, while I'm not particularly a huge fan of most fast food, I really don't see how Chipotle gets in there...how are some beans and rice and some kind of protein in a soft corn tortilla not food. I don't eat there really, but I make that at home all of the time...

    And to call eating fast food the equivalent to drinking draino is ridiculous. I think you have a little orthorexia going on there or something...

    And how does Panda Express end up on that hit list? Granted, many of their dishes are high in sodium (as is the case with a lot of Chinese food), but what's "unclean" or "poisonous" about steamed vegetables, white rice, teriyaki chicken, broccoli beef, etc? And their orange chicken is a bit high in calories (380 per serving, IIRC), but very tasty.

    I, even though quite a few of these places say they can accommodate me, don't eat at these places due to my celiac disease. I've been burnt by that "gluten free" designation before and am very careful (the latest being Lucky Charms, they are definitely not gluten free!).

    Saying that, I have a special condition making this so. Were this not the case, I'd love to be able to get a quick meal at some of these places, and I know enough about nutrition to be able to make smart choices for myself at any of them.

    Sodium's not a worry for me because I have chronic low sodium, so ... meh.

    I think someone upthread's been reading too much Food Babe, a known fear mongerer with a self-promoting agenda.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    If it fits in your calories, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's just food.
  • trigden1991
    trigden1991 Posts: 4,658 Member
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    Plan to eat at maintenance for the day, eating whatever foods you want.

    Hating yourself because of a cheat meal you plan to have is ridiculous.

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