Dealing with sabotage attempts
IWearDaCrown
Posts: 15 Member
Ok, ultimately what we decided to eat and not to eat is in our own control. But since I have been on this weight loss journey (18 lbs down in two months) , I notice there is a constant attempt by people I have told about my efforts to purposely sabotage my progress. Simply offering junk food to offer is one thing. But deliberately sitting a box of cookies in front of someone you know is trying to lose weight and saying "a few won't hurt" , is crazy ... (which is exactly) what my supervisor and even some associates/friends have been trying to do with me.
What is with this mentality and how do you tactfully handle people who make this behavior a habit? What has been your experience?
What is with this mentality and how do you tactfully handle people who make this behavior a habit? What has been your experience?
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Replies
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Kepplekakes wrote: »Tactfully?
Say "No, thank you" and walk away.
This.2 -
Stop telling people your business. If you say nothing about it, no one will even think about it. They'll be too busy worrying about their own problems or meddling in someone else's business. When you make something public, people think they have free reign to participate in it. Ignore those fools and do your thing.
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Yea I know this now but for the people I have told , that ship has sailed lol not to mention it's a noticeable difference so some have asked me outright. But you're right I have stopped telling people at this point. Lesson learned lol!6
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Hi there I know how you feel, my mom brought shipleys donuts the other day for the kids and I told her I would rather her not bring them. I try not to have thosebthings around since I know it is temptation for me. I am on ketogentic diet and even though my cravings are so suppressed its still hard. Hang in there you got this. When I am tempted i ask my self what is more important to me and keep going. Hey can you add me as a friend on here. Lets help each other!2
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Smile to yourself: Then think about why they are acting this way. We all have our own issues, but you are a good way along in dealing with yours!5
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People do this to me all the time. My best friend, well meaning as he is, constantly assails me with 'c'mon man, one beer won't make you or break you' or 'stop being a ***** and just have some of these cream cheese bacon wrapped jalapenos'. I would get irritated at first. Then I started realizing that pointing out 'hey buddy, I've lost close to 70 pounds in the last 4 months, if you skipped that beer and bacon thing you'll get a little healthier too' stops that behavior dead in its tracks.
Yeah, it's a bit mean, but honestly - that kind of peer pressure as well meaning as it is can never turn into anything positive. Anybody who encourages you to deviate from your goals isn't being helpful, at all.9 -
You know, it's hugely satisfying to sabotage their sabotage by smiling and walking away or moving the food elsewhere. You have the upper hand. Can't control the others. (Seriously, what jerk moves.) Stay strong!4
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Well, you could either politely say 'no thank you' and push them away, or you can be more vocal about it.
Next time they push food at you, just say... I am working really hard at getting my eating under control. When you do this, it's like offering a recovering alcoholic a drink. Please help me by refraining from doing that.
Or, you can look at your food and exercise for the day and see if you have room for the one cookie. Have one and pass them on to the next guy.
Thing is... I honestly don't believe they're intentionally trying to make you fat or sabotage you. I really don't think it's intentional or malicious behavior. So either educate them, ignore them, or join them from time to time.
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i try not to let people know that i am trying to lose weight. I notice people watch what you eat and always have something to say or something to give you to derail your efforts. Continue to say no thank you and stay strong!! You got this!!!5
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You can do this...I'm sorry that you've got folks who don't understand what you're going through and trying to achieve all around you. I think just saying, "Thanks, but I don't care for any," is a good way to go. If they persist, change the subject to, "So, how are you doing? Anything good going on for the weekend?" and when they leave your workspace, remind them, "Hey, you forgot your cookies! Don't forget to take them with you..."
Also, this is going to sound weird, but I tell myself on the regular that the things that are trigger foods for me (Skittles, Grippo BBQ chips, alcohol, LemonHeads) aren't really food and that I don't need them or like them. For some reason, it's helping. If you need a new friend, I'm here!1 -
a guy at my work did this last week - i told him that my main problem was snacking as my meals are perfect so i was trying not to snack as i wasnt hungry - he went out and deliberately bought bbq pringles and jelly sweets (both are my faves) i folded on friday and ate loads but today i went along and when he waved the open tube of pringles in my face i yelled at him to shove them up his *kitten*. it seemed to do the trick - its not his fault i just need better willpower6
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You are 100% right in this! I mean yeah, we *should* all have absolutely perfect self control at all times always (according to some) but really we ARE human aren't we? We don't do that to recovering alcoholics or drug addicts do we? NO! Because we know they can't help themselves. I firmly believe certain foods are and addiction for some people. People who have never had to battle themselves to keep from eating an entire box of chocolates has not one tiny clue how it feels to have it waved in front of their nose like that. Next time they do something like that and say, "A few won't hurt." Say, "Yes it will!" and toss the box in the garbage. They will think twice before shoving it in your face again.
Did I mention I am not always good with tact? I mean I try but once someone tries me enough or I have told them kindly enough and they keep pushing I no longer feel that I owe them that courtesy.1 -
Stop telling people your business. If you say nothing about it, no one will even think about it. They'll be too busy worrying about their own problems or meddling in someone else's business. When you make something public, people think they have free reign to participate in it. Ignore those fools and do your thing.
So what happens when people say, "Have you lost weight?" Should one say, "I am not discussing that with anyone ever." People will notice eventually. Also no one should have to avoid talking with people they do trust because someone else may hear it and act like a *unicorn* who needs a foot in the *rainbow*.3 -
I work the front desk and people are always leaving cookies, doughnuts etc....at my desk. They have this idea that others will see the treats and take. A polite "no thank you" should work but I can't be bothered to answer all the questions that follow: Why not, what do you need to lose weight for, what kind of diet are you on etc... What I like to do is place the "goodies" in the kitchen, out of sight out of mind. For those I like to consider bullies, who keep nudging you, continue to say "no thank you". Be strong, you got this and you have a whole community to support you!4
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I would just throw them away right in front of them. Most people hate seeing food go to waste. It will show them just how much willpower you have.6
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I usually say I don't like whatever it is they're offering. It's much harder for someone to try to convince you to eat something you don't like as opposed to something you say you don't want.4
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If they didn't ask they would be considered rude, but then they do ask and you think they are sabotaging you. Just say no thanks and move on. Eventually they will stop asking (at least that's what my office does since they know I don't order out anymore).1
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I had same problem. My secretary, bless her heart, felt I was too skinny and so every time my division had a cake, or donuts, or a potluck in one of the branches she would go there and make me a huge plate and set it on my desk. I had asked her not to because I can't eat a lot of things..but she honestly thought I needed taken care of? Like she was my mum or something. I kid you not...these were multiple offices, hundreds of people I supervised so this was every other day I'd come back from a meeting and find some junk food on my desk. I couldn't toss it in my trash can because she'd see it wasn't even nibbled on and be hurt. So I took to sneaking out to a bathroom and stuffing it under paper towels in the bin there. Or I'd pop it in the fridge and tell her I was saving it as I was working late and when she'd go home, I'd toss it in a random bin on my way out the door. I thought the whole thing was kind of hilarious....kind of a who's really in charge here? Sort of thing.1
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This is called TEMPTATION and not sabotage. Sabotage would be giving something and saying it's gonna help you with your weight loss..................and really doesn't.
Listen, you're going to be tempted WITHOUT them doing it. You'll pass by donut shops, cookies in the grocery store, etc. and you have the choice to get them or not.
The easiest way is to say "No thanks" and just move on.
Personally, if someone offers me something and I want it, I'll take one and decide how much of it I'll eat, then log it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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If they didn't ask they would be considered rude, but then they do ask and you think they are sabotaging you. Just say no thanks and move on. Eventually they will stop asking (at least that's what my office does since they know I don't order out anymore).
I'm not talking about everyone but with some people it is quite obvious. Some people are in fact quite devious intentionally when it comes to certain things...especially if you are making progress in an area they have been unsuccessful in themselves. If you have yet to encounter these types of people, you have been fortunate.5 -
This is called TEMPTATION and not sabotage. Sabotage would be giving something and saying it's gonna help you with your weight loss..................and really doesn't.
Listen, you're going to be tempted WITHOUT them doing it. You'll pass by donut shops, cookies in the grocery store, etc. and you have the choice to get them or not.
The easiest way is to say "No thanks" and just move on.
Personally, if someone offers me something and I want it, I'll take one and decide how much of it I'll eat, then log it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
It is sabotage. If someone knows chocolate is your weakness, and they also know you are trying to avoid it and they stick it in front of you they are attempting to sabotage your efforts.7 -
This is called TEMPTATION and not sabotage. Sabotage would be giving something and saying it's gonna help you with your weight loss..................and really doesn't.
Listen, you're going to be tempted WITHOUT them doing it. You'll pass by donut shops, cookies in the grocery store, etc. and you have the choice to get them or not.
The easiest way is to say "No thanks" and just move on.
Personally, if someone offers me something and I want it, I'll take one and decide how much of it I'll eat, then log it.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
The term "sabotage" comes from protesting Japanese workers throwing their sabots (shoes) into factory machinery to break it down. It means a deliberate action that is intended to disrupt a course of action or the function of a system. There is NO requirement that for that action to be considered sabotage that the agent must first convince the victim that said action will assist the course of action or system rather than disrupt it.
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Take one, smile and say thank you, and walk away. The moment they aren't paying attention..trash it.2
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IWearDaCrown wrote: »If they didn't ask they would be considered rude, but then they do ask and you think they are sabotaging you. Just say no thanks and move on. Eventually they will stop asking (at least that's what my office does since they know I don't order out anymore).
I'm not talking about everyone but with some people it is quite obvious. Some people are in fact quite devious intentionally when it comes to certain things...especially if you are making progress in an area they have been unsuccessful in themselves. If you have yet to encounter these types of people, you have been fortunate.
Oh I have encountered them, but the satisfaction I get from rebuking them is far greater than letting them think they have gotten the best of me
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IWearDaCrown wrote: »If they didn't ask they would be considered rude, but then they do ask and you think they are sabotaging you. Just say no thanks and move on. Eventually they will stop asking (at least that's what my office does since they know I don't order out anymore).
I'm not talking about everyone but with some people it is quite obvious. Some people are in fact quite devious intentionally when it comes to certain things...especially if you are making progress in an area they have been unsuccessful in themselves. If you have yet to encounter these types of people, you have been fortunate.
So without trying to be mean, I think people often read too much into this. I make no assumptions about others being successful or not.
I work in a sizable office, so there's an event every few weeks, this was true when I was trying to lose weight and when I wasn't. Just when I am trying to lose weight I'm more aware of food being offered to me. I try not to lie or make a big deal about it. 'No thanks' or 'Maybe later' usually work. If something is right in front of me I'll move it to the communal area. Frankly quite often I just eat the thing and track the calories.
I think the only actual sabotage I heard about was @JaydedMiss having butter smeared on her food when she went to the bathroom.....4 -
I look at it this way; what was the environment in your workplace like before? Did people offer you cookies etc before you started losing weight? Probably. Did your friends put out whatever on the table at get-togethers before? Still probably. The only difference is your behaviour; they're adjusting to that.
The reality is, just because you change, doesn't mean your environment or the people in it will. Nor do they have to. You're the piece that matters in this. Don't want it or know you shouldn't eat it? Stand up for yourself and say that.
If you're really struggling, here are some great alternative to just saying "No thanks":
"I'm so full from lunch, maybe later."
"I'm actually not a big fan of _______."
"I'm going out for dinner later and want to save my appetite for that."
"My plate's already full, sorry!" (This is me at like every dinner party/buffet etc ever)
"How about trying my __________ instead?"
People really aren't out to get you, they just aren't leading the same lifestyle you are and likely don't understand how it will affect your ability to lose weight, hit your macros, reach whatever goal you've set etc.
Also, sometimes you should just eat the cookie. Most are like 130 cals a piece. You can fit in the odd cookie for sanity's sake if it's something you want that day.
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This is definitely sabotage, putting cookies on your desk when they know you are trying to lose weight is not being polite.
It's what weak people do when they see somebody else being stronger and more successful than them. They are jealous of how well you are doing, it makes them feel like *kitten*. The worst group I have ever experienced for this are smokers, those guys hate to see somebody successfully give up and will not hesitate to give you a cigarette if you are having a moment of weakness.
I also work in an office where we regularly have cakes/cookies etc. But because there are a number of healthy eaters around the place there are nearly always healthy options (fruit, nuts etc.). Try to encourage that sort of thing, I'm sure hat you're not alone.
Re tackling their behavior, try being polite, if that doesn't work, be rude. Just dump it in the trash in front of them. They won't want to see their money being wasted too often.
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TriPaulCantRun wrote: »This is definitely sabotage, putting cookies on your desk when they know you are trying to lose weight is not being polite.
It's what weak people do when they see somebody else being stronger and more successful than them. They are jealous of how well you are doing, it makes them feel like *kitten*. The worst group I have ever experienced for this are smokers, those guys hate to see somebody successfully give up and will not hesitate to give you a cigarette if you are having a moment of weakness.
I also work in an office where we regularly have cakes/cookies etc. But because there are a number of healthy eaters around the place there are nearly always healthy options (fruit, nuts etc.). Try to encourage that sort of thing, I'm sure hat you're not alone.
Re tackling their behavior, try being polite, if that doesn't work, be rude. Just dump it in the trash in front of them. They won't want to see their money being wasted too often.
This! I'm glad some people understand what im getting at here. I definitely don't expect everyone to agree with me (not the way life works lol). But I think its so funny when people imply that it's just my imagination when I know it's not lol. Especially with these scenarios being with people I have known for years in some instances so I'm familiar with what is normal behavior and what is not for these people.
Sure some people are just being polite and wanting to share. But trust and believe ...I'm smart enough to know the difference between being friendly and having other motives ...just saying .... Thanks for the reply.3 -
GoldBikiniGoals wrote: »I look at it this way; what was the environment in your workplace like before? Did people offer you cookies etc before you started losing weight? Probably. Did your friends put out whatever on the table at get-togethers before? Still probably. The only difference is your behaviour; they're adjusting to that.
The reality is, just because you change, doesn't mean your environment or the people in it will. Nor do they have to. You're the piece that matters in this. Don't want it or know you shouldn't eat it? Stand up for yourself and say that.
If you're really struggling, here are some great alternative to just saying "No thanks":
"I'm so full from lunch, maybe later."
"I'm actually not a big fan of _______."
"I'm going out for dinner later and want to save my appetite for that."
"My plate's already full, sorry!" (This is me at like every dinner party/buffet etc ever)
"How about trying my __________ instead?"
People really aren't out to get you, they just aren't leading the same lifestyle you are and likely don't understand how it will affect your ability to lose weight, hit your macros, reach whatever goal you've set etc.
Also, sometimes you should just eat the cookie. Most are like 130 cals a piece. You can fit in the odd cookie for sanity's sake if it's something you want that day.
Thanks for the examples.0
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