How to deflect attention from weight loss?

SueSueDio
SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
edited November 16 in Motivation and Support
I wasn't quite sure which section to put this in...! :)

This week I'll be going to a surprise party for a former colleague who's been declared cancer-free and her family is celebrating. I expect that many other former colleagues will be there, most of whom I haven't seen since before I started losing weight. (I was laid off, as was the lady who is being surprised.)

I've lost a fair amount, and it's bound to be noticeable. I'm very proud of my efforts and normally I'd be happy for a little recognition of them, but the evening is for my friend and should be all about her - I don't want to attract attention!

Perhaps it's big-headed of me to assume I'll get any comments at all, but what would be the easiest/kindest way to quickly deflect any attention I do get and keep the focus where it belongs - squarely on my friend?

Replies

  • L1zardQueen
    L1zardQueen Posts: 8,753 Member
    I would just say "Thank you" and try to change the subject quickly change the subject. Like ask how they are doing or something like that.
  • Bentforkx
    Bentforkx Posts: 69 Member
    Say "Thank you very much" and then turn the conversation around towards your friend
    :)
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    I would just say why yes I have lost a bit and then change the subject. Talk about your friend or ask them a non-weight related question.
  • try2again
    try2again Posts: 3,562 Member
    The condensed version of what you just said- "Thank you, but I'd really like to keep the focus on ____ tonight. I'm sure you understand." If it's someone you'd enjoy visiting with, maybe suggest having lunch sometime.
  • LeoLivingByDesign
    LeoLivingByDesign Posts: 90 Member
    edited March 2017
    I'd say something like, Thank you, doesn't "Jane" look great (looking over to where she is), what an inspiration she is to everyone. I'm so honored to be here to help her celebrate.
  • Tacklewasher
    Tacklewasher Posts: 7,122 Member
    Wear your old clothes with pillows underneath :)
  • mirnmax
    mirnmax Posts: 38 Member
    You could be like "what, you thought I was fat?" Normally folks walk away......... but yeah nvm... you should probably just stick with what the others said...... :)
  • __TMac__
    __TMac__ Posts: 1,669 Member
    Accepting the complement and then changing the topic seems to be a wise and effective approach. If people won't be put off, you can take them aside and explain briefly why you'd rather not discuss it, and if you like, offer to set up a specific time later to chat.

    For different reasons, I've pondered this question as well. My weight loss is guaranteed to be a trigger for conflict with my narcissistic sibling. I considered wearing intentionally baggy clothes, but by the time I see her next winter, it probably won't be enough to hide a significant loss. And it doesn't feel like a psychologically healthy or self-respecting approach. My other option was to just not go home for the holidays. Mexico for Christmas? :)
  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
    Thanks for all your thoughts!

    try2again wrote: »
    A thought occurs to me, though. If your co-worker is uncomfortable being the center of attention, she may well try to use your weight loss to deflect attention from herself! ;)

    It's possible we might end up in a deflection fight...

    "Wait, look at her!"

    "No no, look at HER!!"

    ;)

    mirnmax wrote: »
    You could be like "what, you thought I was fat?" Normally folks walk away......... but yeah nvm... you should probably just stick with what the others said...... :)

    Heh... yeah, I could do that too - although if they thought I was fat, they would have been right! ;)

    Tacklewasher wrote: »
    Wear your old clothes with pillows underneath :)

    I did actually consider wearing baggy clothing, although without the pillows! But, like @TmacMMM said, it's not a great approach. I feel so much better about myself when I wear something that fits well, and I don't want to hide under baggy outfits like I used to! (Since the event is cancer-related I've thought about wearing a bright pink wrap-style sweater I have, but that might be too attention-grabbing! I have a couple more days to figure it out.)

    I was thinking that one thing which might be to my advantage is that, because it's a secret, the guests are supposed to be there by a certain time before my friend arrives. So I guess that should give people a chance to get over any surprise they might feel!
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    Just don't be disappointed if all the attention is on your friend and no one comments on your weight loss!
  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
    lorrpb wrote: »
    Just don't be disappointed if all the attention is on your friend and no one comments on your weight loss!

    Heh... well, if I'm honest I have to admit that there IS a little bit of me that does want people to notice... just not to go on about it! But I'll do my best to keep that bit quiet for the evening and celebrate my friend... ;)
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