I walked two miles today I feel like such a failure still

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NikkiiBaby68
NikkiiBaby68 Posts: 55 Member
in Motivation and Support
I used to walk 6 miles every day, work out between belly dance and kettlebell and other misc exercise 3-4 hours every day 7 days a week about 3 years ago.

that walk today nearly killed me.

I am still recovering from neurological lyme disease which has almost rendered me useless many times over...docs told me i needed a walker had to go to speech therapy...learn how to write again...Still...i want the old me back.
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Replies

  • hilhilbean
    hilhilbean Posts: 92 Member
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    I can understand how you feel. I was diagnosed with a neurological disorder almost three years ago and it knocked me down a LOT of notches. I had six months of not being able to use my left arm and just walking back and forth to my bedroom nearly wiped me out.

    It's all about baby steps. You did two miles - that's a start!!
  • kb144pro
    kb144pro Posts: 4 Member
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    You have to start somewhere! You should be proud of the dedication and effort it took to complete those two miles. It is that same dedication and effort that is going to get the old you back!
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,484 Member
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    ((( <3 )))

    Sorry I can only offer you hugs. You are doing great getting out and walking. As above baby steps.

    Cheers, h.
  • NikkiiBaby68
    NikkiiBaby68 Posts: 55 Member
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    i really appreciate all the kind words.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    That *kitten* sucks. But look at you! You went for a walk today!! Congratulations!
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,874 Member
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    Lyme can be such a devastating illness! I have a close family member who was permanently affected by it. Don't feel like a failure! Every step you take is in the right direction. You may never get back to doing what you were able to before, so set new goals based on your abilities.
  • danika2point0
    danika2point0 Posts: 197 Member
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    You are taking all of the steps you possibly can (pun intended) in the right direction! By doing that, you will build yourself into the strongest version of yourself you can be. I can only imagine and empathise how much you wish you could go back to your former abilities, but I just wanted to say it's amazing to not give up and make the effort you are x That is true strength.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    I am still recovering from neurological lyme disease...docs told me i needed a walker had to go to speech therapy...learn how to write again...Still...i want the old me back.

    If someone else told you this and then said they walked 2 miles today would you call that an accomplishment or a failure?

    I think it is natural to mourn or be angry when you have such a huge change in your body. Maybe talk to your doctor, a therapist, or a support group about your feelings.


  • Macy9336
    Macy9336 Posts: 694 Member
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    You're doing awesome! I had a TBI 3yrs ago when a distracted driver of an SUV knocked me off my bicycle. Similar experience...I walked a couple miles today and needed a four hour nap to recover. I used to be very active before the accident....but not any more. But anyway, you can only do what you can do. Don't be hard on yourself...
  • NikkiiBaby68
    NikkiiBaby68 Posts: 55 Member
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    ty everyone for the kind words and macy i am sorry to hear you went through that
  • junodog1
    junodog1 Posts: 4,792 Member
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    Lounmoun wrote: »

    If someone else told you this and then said they walked 2 miles today would you call that an accomplishment or a failure?

    ^^ This. It sounds like you are making wonderful progress. Be proud Nikki.
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
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    I relate--I have a different disease that has many of the same symptoms as Lyme. It took me YEARS, like 4 or 5 YEARS, to work back up to being anything like what I was before I got sick.

    Two miles is great--you are getting out and doing what you CAN do, which is the only thing within your power right now. Just keep adding a bit more as you can.

    Beating yourself up doesn't burn any calories or accomplish anything, so STOP it.
  • Mandamanda93
    Mandamanda93 Posts: 213 Member
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    Before I got sick, I was a size-6, 160-lb weightlifting machine. Then, when the onset on pain and infections started, I gained 40+ pounds, so I can sympathize.

    All we can do is move forward. There's no going back to the old us, just moving on to a new, better, stronger, tougher us with more resolve and more love for ourselves and what our bodies are letting us do.
    I hope you feel better, dear, and if you ever need to talk about this sort of thing, feel free to message me.
  • mirnmax
    mirnmax Posts: 38 Member
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    I Took 2 10 minute walks today! So, you should be proud of your 2 miles! One day I will be proud of my 2 miles but for today, I'm proud of the 2 10 minute walks I did.
  • GrayRider61
    GrayRider61 Posts: 337 Member
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    You're doing great! i've got a sciatic nerve problem going on that has set me back but I'm bouncing back and so are you. :)
  • NikkiiBaby68
    NikkiiBaby68 Posts: 55 Member
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    I am in beautiful overwhelm by all the support. Yesterday I did three miles lol...my knee from Lyme damage is freaking killing me today. today I will try to just get a mile in i think and maybe do more of the "Pilates Wheel" from hsn go check it out it is brilliant and the body blade whick should i am hoping will help repair any damaged tissue over time and yet build me back up so I can kettlebell. I am thinking since i can walk that much maybe i can belly dance more to take stress off bad areas of my body. It will still get my steps in and burn more calories though I am not counting calories.

    azulvioleta...what do you have?

    GrayRider...that body blade is supposed to be good for that. among many other things. Just a thought.
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
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    NikkiiBaby68 wrote: »
    I am in beautiful overwhelm by all the support. Yesterday I did three miles lol...my knee from Lyme damage is freaking killing me today. today I will try to just get a mile in i think and maybe do more of the "Pilates Wheel" from hsn go check it out it is brilliant and the body blade whick should i am hoping will help repair any damaged tissue over time and yet build me back up so I can kettlebell. I am thinking since i can walk that much maybe i can belly dance more to take stress off bad areas of my body. It will still get my steps in and burn more calories though I am not counting calories.

    azulvioleta...what do you have?

    GrayRider...that body blade is supposed to be good for that. among many other things. Just a thought.

    So many things--but I was referring to pituitary failure, aka Adult Human Growth Hormone Deficiency. It took a long time to get a diagnosis and treatment. I was completely disabled for several years.

    It's similar in the sense of chronic fatigue and chronic pain. My disease also causes muscle wasting...not sure if that is an issue with Lyme.
  • lottathought
    lottathought Posts: 19 Member
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    The thing is....that one day does not make the difference. Oh how I wish it did....lol
    To be able to just work out one day and be in total shape...... So do not beat yourself up.
    Like I said, that one day does not matter. It is getting up tomorrow and doing it again. And then the day after that...and the day after that...and that day you are just feeling tired...and that day you are not in the mood. Don't get lost in the small things.
  • NikkiiBaby68
    NikkiiBaby68 Posts: 55 Member
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    Azulvioleta yes muscle wasting. Everything wastes. and ty to everyone.

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