Drama
kassierodriguez1
Posts: 357 Member
Ok so I have a friend who I have known for a year or so. She seems to kinda have a little more drama then I'm used to. Things just seems to bother her. For instance. She didn't like my dad teasing her. And now someone said I said something about her sister and she was bothered by that.
I'm disappointed someone said that I said something I didn't. I'm disappointed that my friend even believed it, even for a second. I don't like drama. I don't want it in my life. This feels like drama. And I'm not sure I want to deal with it.
I don't want to lose her as a friend. But I'm not sure I want to keep dealing with this again and again. What would you do?
I'm disappointed someone said that I said something I didn't. I'm disappointed that my friend even believed it, even for a second. I don't like drama. I don't want it in my life. This feels like drama. And I'm not sure I want to deal with it.
I don't want to lose her as a friend. But I'm not sure I want to keep dealing with this again and again. What would you do?
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Replies
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Tell her the truth. She can believe it or not. Then move on accordingly3
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jjewell1981 wrote: »Tell her the truth. She can believe it or not. Then move on accordingly
We did talk and she said she believed me. And I think she meant it. But what if stuff like this keeps coming up. What will it be next time? You know what I mean?
Should I take a chance and believe that this will be the last drama thing. Or should I pull back?0 -
Believe it and if you get more drama cut her loose. Life is too short for stupid stuff1
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jjewell1981 wrote: »Believe it and if you get more drama cut her loose. Life is too short for stupid stuff
Ok. That's how I feel. I can't handle drama. I've never had a friendship with these issues0 -
Tell her
"I like you, I enjoy spending time and doing things with you, but hunni, you have got to quit causing all of this trouble. Otherwise, I'm going to have to CTS out of you if it happens one more f'n time"0 -
Drama just follows some people... you can either learn to just listen and ignore it or just cut them loose.0
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Some people just live in a world of drama and that's who they are. Are you two really compatible? It seems that you are more of the glass 1/2 full and she is the glass is 1/2 empty.
If you two truly value your relationship you find a way to overlook the things you do not like, or you move on.
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You really should call out the person who said the lie in front of your friend and squash it. Otherwise there may be a level of doubt. But your friend taking the bait maybe a bad omen. But she is your friend, give her a second chance.1
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Personally I would be pulling back simply reflexively, not even intentionally...
Some people are just like that... I would bet this type of behavior will persist
Although I'm not suggesting you stop being friends with the woman... I would never do that, but would likely keep them at arms length1 -
We are definitely compatible. And that's hard for me to find.Some people just live in a world of drama and that's who they are. Are you two really compatible? It seems that you are more of the glass 1/2 full and she is the glass is 1/2 empty.
If you two truly value your relationship you find a way to overlook the things you do not like, or you move on.
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JstTheWayIam wrote: »Personally I would be pulling back simply reflexively, not even intentionally...
Some people are just like that... I would bet this type of behavior will persist
Although I'm not suggesting you stop being friends with the woman... I would never do that, but would likely keep them at arms length
I feel like that is what is going to end up happening. Every time there is drama I feel myself pull back. I don't want to in some ways, but I feel like it's a good idea in other ways.
I learned a valuable lesson. Never trust that people will see you in a good light, nor will they portray you in a good light to others. I am not the sort of person to spread things about others. And although I shouldn't be shocked that someone did that, I am still shocked0 -
kassierodriguez1 wrote: »
We are definitely compatible. And that's hard for me to find.Some people just live in a world of drama and that's who they are. Are you two really compatible? It seems that you are more of the glass 1/2 full and she is the glass is 1/2 empty.
If you two truly value your relationship you find a way to overlook the things you do not like, or you move on.
Find a way to overlook the negativity or this so called drama.. Just know that she is just being her true self (the way she looks at things in life and in general) and you keep choosing to accept her for this regardless.
I am sure she accepts you for you, so embrace your differences, sounds like a life long friendship to build!1 -
Yes this is exactly what I'm battling with! It's one of the things I appreciate about her. She may be difficult at times but she is who she is. And I am willing to accept flaws just as I hope she can accept mine.kassierodriguez1 wrote: »
We are definitely compatible. And that's hard for me to find.Some people just live in a world of drama and that's who they are. Are you two really compatible? It seems that you are more of the glass 1/2 full and she is the glass is 1/2 empty.
If you two truly value your relationship you find a way to overlook the things you do not like, or you move on.
Find a way to overlook the negativity or this so called drama.. Just know that she is just being her true self (the way she looks at things in life and in general) and you keep choosing to accept her for this regardless.
I am sure she accepts you for you, so embrace your differences, sounds like a life long friendship to build!
It's so hard cuz my life has basically been drama free for 8 years. If I had any drama, it only affected me and I can deal with it. Now there is drama that's affecting me and someone else. And it's added stress to me because I can't stand hurting people. Intentionally or unintentionally
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kassierodriguez1 wrote: »
Yes this is exactly what I'm battling with! It's one of the things I appreciate about her. She may be difficult at times but she is who she is. And I am willing to accept flaws just as I hope she can accept mine.kassierodriguez1 wrote: »
We are definitely compatible. And that's hard for me to find.Some people just live in a world of drama and that's who they are. Are you two really compatible? It seems that you are more of the glass 1/2 full and she is the glass is 1/2 empty.
If you two truly value your relationship you find a way to overlook the things you do not like, or you move on.
Find a way to overlook the negativity or this so called drama.. Just know that she is just being her true self (the way she looks at things in life and in general) and you keep choosing to accept her for this regardless.
I am sure she accepts you for you, so embrace your differences, sounds like a life long friendship to build!
It's so hard cuz my life has basically been drama free for 8 years. If I had any drama, it only affected me and I can deal with it. Now there is drama that's affecting me and someone else. And it's added stress to me because I can't stand hurting people. Intentionally or unintentionally
Drama to me is something or someone that lives in conflict and negativity all the time. This can drag anyone down.
Now just a circumstance that happened or a misunderstanding, that is something to forgive and move on. This too shall pass is what I always say.
If there is serious emotional things that is effecting you being around a person that lives everyday in drama (which I can't tell by all of this) your emotional and mental health are most important over anything else IMHO.. Just need to work through it over time. Communication is always the KEY to every relationship!0 -
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kassierodriguez1 wrote: »
Yes this is exactly what I'm battling with! It's one of the things I appreciate about her. She may be difficult at times but she is who she is. And I am willing to accept flaws just as I hope she can accept mine.kassierodriguez1 wrote: »
We are definitely compatible. And that's hard for me to find.Some people just live in a world of drama and that's who they are. Are you two really compatible? It seems that you are more of the glass 1/2 full and she is the glass is 1/2 empty.
If you two truly value your relationship you find a way to overlook the things you do not like, or you move on.
Find a way to overlook the negativity or this so called drama.. Just know that she is just being her true self (the way she looks at things in life and in general) and you keep choosing to accept her for this regardless.
I am sure she accepts you for you, so embrace your differences, sounds like a life long friendship to build!
It's so hard cuz my life has basically been drama free for 8 years. If I had any drama, it only affected me and I can deal with it. Now there is drama that's affecting me and someone else. And it's added stress to me because I can't stand hurting people. Intentionally or unintentionally
Drama to me is something or someone that lives in conflict and negativity all the time. This can drag anyone down.
Now just a circumstance that happened or a misunderstanding, that is something to forgive and move on. This too shall pass is what I always say.
If there is serious emotional things that is effecting you being around a person that lives everyday in drama (which I can't tell by all of this) your emotional and mental health are most important over anything else IMHO.. Just need to work through it over time. Communication is always the KEY to every relationship!
Very true! Thank you. I think this is exactly what I needed to hear.1 -
yeah, I don't do drama or conflict... I would just get busy with something else and fade away.1
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You could bail on the friendship....or you could keep in mind that maybe drama just follows her. Maybe her life actually is filled with chaos, and you being her friend may be the only firm anchor she can count on. Depends on how you really feel about her, and if you think her friendship is worth it.0
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Is this a church friend?
i kid, I kid.
Anyway, I have distanced myself from dramatic friends before. None of that stuff bothers me and it's hard to be a friend to someone that seems to always have some personal drama going on. I can't empathize at all so I usually end up playing devil's advocate with the "offender", which is not what the friend is after, lol. If you want to continue being friends do that, but it will probably eventually get to a point where you realize it's enough and you're better off without.1 -
kassierodriguez1 wrote: »Ok so I have a friend who I have known for a year or so. She seems to kinda have a little more drama then I'm used to. Things just seems to bother her. For instance. She didn't like my dad teasing her. And now someone said I said something about her sister and she was bothered by that.
I'm disappointed someone said that I said something I didn't. I'm disappointed that my friend even believed it, even for a second. I don't like drama. I don't want it in my life. This feels like drama. And I'm not sure I want to deal with it.
I don't want to lose her as a friend. But I'm not sure I want to keep dealing with this again and again. What would you do?
If your father was teasing her and it bothered her, why not stick up for her to your dad? Also, you had the talk and she said she didn't believe your friend and she trusted you, but you're still here on MFP airing your dirty laundry. Cause you don't like drama. Friendship isn't always easy, but you seem upset over something that doesn't even seem that bad. If you're willing to be done with her over this (and maybe there's more that happened) it doesn't seem like you're that invested in her friendship and maybe you should cut ties. Everyone is kinda just bashing your friend but there's two sides to every story and the things you've mentioned here don't really seem to be that dramatic.
All of this...well said!1 -
people typically only engage in good natured teasing with those people who are liked.
the friend should have taken it as a compliment.1 -
kassierodriguez1 wrote: »Ok so I have a friend who I have known for a year or so. She seems to kinda have a little more drama then I'm used to. Things just seems to bother her. For instance. She didn't like my dad teasing her. And now someone said I said something about her sister and she was bothered by that.
I'm disappointed someone said that I said something I didn't. I'm disappointed that my friend even believed it, even for a second. I don't like drama. I don't want it in my life. This feels like drama. And I'm not sure I want to deal with it.
I don't want to lose her as a friend. But I'm not sure I want to keep dealing with this again and again. What would you do?
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Cut her loose0
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I hate drama. I wouldn't associate with her or would keep her at a distance. She'll get the hint sooner or later.0
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Sounds like you expect her to be okay with being a door mat. What kind of teasing was your father doing? Not every joke is funny. If you are talking smack about her sister I would say she has a right to be upset about that. If you were talking smack about my family I wouldn't like it. If someone said that you said what you say you didn't then look to THAT person for causing that problem. If you are innocent of that accusation then the rumor mill needs to apologize to you. Maybe you want to step back and take a look at you and consider her feelings. You may realize she isn't being a drama queen at all and that maybe, just maybe, you owe her an apology.2
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kassierodriguez1 wrote: »jjewell1981 wrote: »Tell her the truth. She can believe it or not. Then move on accordingly
We did talk and she said she believed me. And I think she meant it. But what if stuff like this keeps coming up. What will it be next time? You know what I mean?
Should I take a chance and believe that this will be the last drama thing. Or should I pull back?
I had a friend like that. I dealt with the drama for 21 years. Last year it got so bad I had ANOTHER honest talk with her. She unloaded her opinion like a crazy person. She said some terrible things. I just said well I'm sorry you feel that way and left it alone. Later she actually emailed me an apology that started Idk what i did to you but....The entire email was so out there I didnt even know what she was talking about. I asked myself why people felt comfortable enough with her to talk *kitten* about me (her best friend) to her. I didnt want to lose her but acknowledged our friendship had been one sided a long time. I cut her loose. I thought I would regret it but instead I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me. Since our parting she has talked about me to anyone who will listen and also on social media. Its very juvenile so I just ignore it. I realize peoples actions will tell you more than their words will, if you just pay attention. Good luck with your friend, I hope she values your friendship enough to work on the problems.2 -
I would keep my distance people have to realize themselves what they are doing wrong before they change just sounds a little toxic and drainingkassierodriguez1 wrote: »Ok so I have a friend who I have known for a year or so. She seems to kinda have a little more drama then I'm used to. Things just seems to bother her. For instance. She didn't like my dad teasing her. And now someone said I said something about her sister and she was bothered by that.
I'm disappointed someone said that I said something I didn't. I'm disappointed that my friend even believed it, even for a second. I don't like drama. I don't want it in my life. This feels like drama. And I'm not sure I want to deal with it.
I don't want to lose her as a friend. But I'm not sure I want to keep dealing with this again and again. What would you do?1
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