I feel hopeless and embarrassed.

magdellainshady
magdellainshady Posts: 5 Member
edited November 16 in Motivation and Support
I used to use MFP like it was my religion. It was easy for me to track. Then came college and dorm food and I'm having a hard time not gaining weight and trying to eat healthy. I've gained 30 pounds over the last year. I'm so embarrassed and can't stand it. I'm going on a huge vacation in June and I don't want to look awful in the pictures. When it comes to eating healthy in the dining halls I'm terrible. I'll think I did okay calorie wise and actually I was eating a 800- 1000 calorie meal. I am also very stressed and eat when I'm stressed. :( I could use a support system.

Replies

  • lulabe11
    lulabe11 Posts: 12 Member
    That's the worst- when you grab something you think will be fine and don't even like that much, only to find out it's horrible. Like movie popcorn, which is terrible! I think it helps to plan ahead. Have a few go-tos in the dining hall that you know the facts for and rely on them when you don't know about other options. Yogurt, salad bar, cold cuts- those things. Start out with something good before you get the rest of your meal and pound a btl of water before you make your choice so you aren't hunger grabbing bad choices. Also, always remember that there is more where that came from and you can always have it later. I used to feel like I had to have the tortellini when they had it, but they would have it every week. You can always get it later. Hope that helps! Ps don't be embarrassed, just move forward. That's what I'm trying to do! The good thing is that today can be your heaviest day and it can only get better from now on!
  • fubarfornow
    fubarfornow Posts: 40 Member
    Well, you know you're not hopeless, because you've tracked food and done well before. And there's no need to be embarrassed, you transitioned from a situation you were familiar with to a completely new and unfamiliar situation, and one in which all your food is prepared for you. With the stress of college on top of that, it's completely understandable that you would have adjustment issues. The good part is that you see what's happening, and are working to figure out how to change it. This is a problem to be solved, not a character flaw.

    You could certainly lose a good chunk of the 30 lbs by your vacation, depending on how you set your calorie deficit. (I am NOT advocating that you set your deficit too low, just what you think you can work with based on MFP recommendations). As for how to eat in the dining hall -- can you find out what they're serving before you go, and look up your best option? It is sometimes hard to do that with your friends, but is the menu posted online or on social media somewhere, or something? Then you can do it and have your meal planned before you leave the dorm. Also, if there are no good options that fit your food needs, are there "make your own" options? When I was in college 100 years ago, there was a salad bar with boiled eggs, cottage cheese, and sliced chicken breast. I don't mean that you should eat those for every meal, but when all the entrees are "in cream sauce" or "escalloped" or smothered in cheese, those go-to items will make it easier to make a better choice.
  • theowlbox
    theowlbox Posts: 912 Member
    I am shocked and impressed that you have only gained 30 lbs on dorm food. A ton of that food is high calorie/low cost so that the provider can profit. There is a reason that most people will gain weight when they go to college. Find ways to deal with your stress that work for you and are less related to food. (Sheet masks, swimming, relaxing while you bleach your teeth all make eating very difficult). Also, look over the nutrition info for everything available to you with a walk of campus so you know ahead of time that a skim milk cappuccino with a sugar in the raw is the best option for study group, or whatever. But most of all, forgive yourself for doing what lots of people do. Talk to yourself how you would talk to your best and most treasured friend. You would never talk to her meant, so cultivate that voice and you'll do great. Good luck with everything!
  • magdellainshady
    magdellainshady Posts: 5 Member
    lulabe11 wrote: »
    That's the worst- when you grab something you think will be fine and don't even like that much, only to find out it's horrible. Like movie popcorn, which is terrible! I think it helps to plan ahead. Have a few go-tos in the dining hall that you know the facts for and rely on them when you don't know about other options. Yogurt, salad bar, cold cuts- those things. Start out with something good before you get the rest of your meal and pound a btl of water before you make your choice so you aren't hunger grabbing bad choices. Also, always remember that there is more where that came from and you can always have it later. I used to feel like I had to have the tortellini when they had it, but they would have it every week. You can always get it later. Hope that helps! Ps don't be embarrassed, just move forward. That's what I'm trying to do! The good thing is that today can be your heaviest day and it can only get better from now on!

    I needed this, I do catch myself running for my favorites in the halls when they offer them every week, and sometimes multiple times a week!! (Buffalo chicken dip, I'm looking at you....) I need to just take a step back and realize that it'll be there again. I don't need to get it every time it's there.
  • magdellainshady
    magdellainshady Posts: 5 Member
    fubarfornow wrote: »
    Well, you know you're not hopeless, because you've tracked food and done well before. And there's no need to be embarrassed, you transitioned from a situation you were familiar with to a completely new and unfamiliar situation, and one in which all your food is prepared for you. With the stress of college on top of that, it's completely understandable that you would have adjustment issues. The good part is that you see what's happening, and are working to figure out how to change it. This is a problem to be solved, not a character flaw.

    You could certainly lose a good chunk of the 30 lbs by your vacation, depending on how you set your calorie deficit. (I am NOT advocating that you set your deficit too low, just what you think you can work with based on MFP recommendations). As for how to eat in the dining hall -- can you find out what they're serving before you go, and look up your best option? It is sometimes hard to do that with your friends, but is the menu posted online or on social media somewhere, or something? Then you can do it and have your meal planned before you leave the dorm. Also, if there are no good options that fit your food needs, are there "make your own" options? When I was in college 100 years ago, there was a salad bar with boiled eggs, cottage cheese, and sliced chicken breast. I don't mean that you should eat those for every meal, but when all the entrees are "in cream sauce" or "escalloped" or smothered in cheese, those go-to items will make it easier to make a better choice.

    That's true, I'm not hopeless. I guess I'm just trying to make myself the victim. I need to take charge of my life and put my foot down. I'm letting the food run me, instead of running the food. Right now I have my calories set to lose 1.5 pounds a week, and you're right, I can make a big chunk. I'll be happy if I even lose just 15 pounds I don't need to lose all 30 to be in a better place. I just want my jeans to fit again!
  • magdellainshady
    magdellainshady Posts: 5 Member
    theowlbox wrote: »
    I am shocked and impressed that you have only gained 30 lbs on dorm food. A ton of that food is high calorie/low cost so that the provider can profit. There is a reason that most people will gain weight when they go to college. Find ways to deal with your stress that work for you and are less related to food. (Sheet masks, swimming, relaxing while you bleach your teeth all make eating very difficult). Also, look over the nutrition info for everything available to you with a walk of campus so you know ahead of time that a skim milk cappuccino with a sugar in the raw is the best option for study group, or whatever. But most of all, forgive yourself for doing what lots of people do. Talk to yourself how you would talk to your best and most treasured friend. You would never talk to her meant, so cultivate that voice and you'll do great. Good luck with everything!

    It means a lot to me to hear someone say that 30 pounds in college isn't as major of a deal as I'm making it. (I'm not saying that I don't think it's a big deal because it is... but it's nice to hear someone tell me it isn't the end of the world.) I like the idea of finding activities to help me get my mind off the food. Something I've noticed is the better I take care of myself the more effort I'm willing to put forth on my diet plan. For example, if instead of sleeping in and skipping the shower to use dry shampoo or a hat I'll get up in time to take a long shower and pamper myself. It makes me feel worth it and like I want to take care of my body.
  • beginforthelasttime16
    beginforthelasttime16 Posts: 533 Member
    We have all been there, the important thing is that you are here and you are going to make the changes you need to! College is stressful, the classes are hard, making new friends is hard, plus everything in a college persons diet is basically processed and terrible. I get it, but you've already won because instead of being okay with it, you're making positive decisions!

    June is still over 2.5 months away, A LOT can happen in 2.5 months!
    It may require eating a ton of salads until you figure out how to eat the cafeteria food without making bad decisions, but you've got this! Does your school have a free gym for students? Get in there!

    You have plenty of time! Focus on those jeans you want to wear and not the number on the scale, with the right workout and diet combo you can be the same size even if the numberon the scale isn't the same!

    Feel free to add me and we can definitely message back and forth for support
  • LaurenTC2
    LaurenTC2 Posts: 3 Member
    Oh, gosh -- I see SO many good things here! I know you've felt depressed, and I understand that -- been there. I definitely agree with theowlbox: you wouldn't talk to your friend disparagingly: you'd try to be understanding, and supportive. So, try this on for size:
    1. You have identified a problem.
    2. You have identified the source of the problem: You know why you have this problem (you are reacting to feelings of stress with eating).
    3. Already, in this discussion, I see you identifying more healthy ways to solve the problem, so that your 'solution' isn't harmful to yourself.

    Now, how many of your peers would (or could) do that? So many times it is hard for us to see what we are doing to ourselves -- we don't realize. I'm an old lady now, and back in my day (which I think must've been before fubarfornow, so more than 100 yrs!), we called it the 'Freshman 15' -- whatever the number, it was such a common problem among us folk on our own for the first time, it had it's own name! And then, there were no such options as a salad bar with options, or anything like what I've seen of today's meal halls. At my school, I walked so much that, even though I did gain some weight, it didn't seem like a big deal. Only later in life would my way of 'handling' stress come back to haunt me, big time (quite literally). And it was a long time after that before I really learned good management. I wish I'd had your insights when I was young!

    So, you've already learned/are learning a lifetime lesson many of us miss. You've noticed there are other, more healthy things you can do to take care of yourself -- what you are doing now is going to stick with you forever, and when you are the 'old lady' on the block, you might tell someone else your story, so they can learn, too!

    OK, enough of that -- you've gotten some really good suggestions here, and you appear to be taking them all in, good for you. Whatever you lose between now and vacation, give yourself credit -- because it's about this summer, but it's also about the rest of your life -- may you live long. ;)
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