What happened to me?!

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inafit16177
inafit16177 Posts: 84
in Motivation and Support
I started my weight loss journey in Feb 2010. I did WW and lost 38 pounds. I am a 5ft 3in, 34 year old, mother of 3. I did well and will readily admit have become obsessive about health and fitness. I was never an athlete, never a "healthy" person, and I really thought I wanted to be. I have made some drastic changes to my families diets for their health and longevity. I started running about 5 months ago. I always wanted to be a runner, and I was doing well. My 9yr old son and I ran a 5k in June in 27:32. He actually medaled in the uner 18 age group. I signed up for a half marathon that is in September. I was doing well with my diet. Then it happened, my husband and I got into several fights about KALE and RUNNING! He said that I have becomed obsessed with diet and running and he couldn't care less...He does not want me to talk about it...and I have taken a nose dive...I have not ran in about 2 weeks...I tried the other morning...I tweaked out 30 minutes but it was all broken up, the mental aspect of healthiness is gone for me...I have eaten junk for days and days...I just sit here sobbing...wanting to eat chocolate and ice cream. Mourning my loss of running...and feeling a mess. I have struggled with bulimia in the past and have had some episodes recently and I just feel that I have lost control...

I do not know why I am posting this...just feel the need to confess my faults and feelings...

Replies

  • bethy0316
    bethy0316 Posts: 75
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    He made you feel like what makes you happy doesn't matter, and that has you depressed. Best thing to do is keep going, keep running and feeling good about yourself ... do not let him get you into a slump.

    I was married to a man like that, and I never did what made me happy because it was an inconvenience for HIM ... well sister, not anymore.

    You look out for YOU, don't worry about him. He's just jealous that he sees you making great strides, and he's not. You have a hobby, and it's not him.

    Work it girl ... pick yourself up, dust off and climb back on this fitness wagon ... we don't want to see anyone fail!!! Come on now ...

    :flowerforyou:
  • SquishyVicki
    SquishyVicki Posts: 280 Member
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    I really don't know what to suggest other than to speak to someone; either your husband or maybe your doctor to try and get a little support before it spiral's too much further as the tone of your post seems a little more than lost motivation or being down in the dumps.

    I really hope you start to feel better soon...HUGS! :flowerforyou: :heart: Vx
  • velix
    velix Posts: 437 Member
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    is there a way to reconcile and balance it out - perhaps take care of yourself (YOU ARE the MOST important person in your life!). Do but not talk about it as much? I know we have a friend who lost a ton of weight through WW and crazy weight lifting, and for a while (over a year actually), it was the only thing she EVER talked about - we missed our friend - although she had changed in many ways for the better, the obsessive-compulsive manner in which she was going about it became troublesome, losing all other aspects of what made her who she was. After an intervention of sorts, she fell off the wagon a bit - but has since found balance between being healthy and being obsessive.

    I wish you the absolute best in finding a solution and regaining the spirit it sounds you found in health and running..
  • camille97
    camille97 Posts: 91
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    How dare he be so rude and un-supportive. I know it seems hard, but it's time to get back on the horse.
    Now. I'd suggest eating fruits and veggies whenever you want the junk.
    RUN. Take all of this frustration and sadness you have and transfer it into energy. Become A FORCE OF NATURE!
    YOU. CAN. DO. THIS.
    You did it before. It can only be easier the second time around.
  • PalmettoparkGuy
    PalmettoparkGuy Posts: 212 Member
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    That's so sad. You're definitely depressed. The same exact thing happened to me years ago and I did the same exact thing you are. Over the years I gained a ton of weight. Then one day I realized that my significant other felt threatened for whatever reason and it might have been a control issue. Although it took me years to get back on track, I did and I don't give a crap what anybody thinks about it. Now that I'm almost at my goal weight, I've had so many negative comments it's unbelievable, especially from the people closest to me. You have got to do what makes you happy. At the end of the day, it's your body and your life, even when you're in a relationship. Don't sacrifice you're health and happiness for anybody else's insecurities. God Bless You.
  • Mark_Winfield
    Mark_Winfield Posts: 5 Member
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    Hey don't beat yourself up. Why ARE you losing the weight ? that's the important thing. I appreciate that those around you may not be supportive right now, and yes they may not fully appreciate the good diet etc, but you have to look after yourself. Get back to that good mind set, maybe slightly less obsessive about the running, but you have seen the benefits for you and I am sure your son would love to get to the running.
    I am sure you have explained to your husband why you felt the need to run etc, but maybe it is time just to re explain, healthy person etc etc.
    Don't give up, you have done too much already and the fact you are still posting here, shows that the will has not gone, just maybe needs that little bit of a boost.

    Good Luck
  • lyncccox1
    lyncccox1 Posts: 9
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    I'm so sorry about the struggles you are going through. Have you tried explaining to your husband that being healthy makes you feel empowered? And that when you feel good about yourself it only makes you a better wife and mother. It's okay to take time just for you. I know it's hard when your spouse doesn't support you, maybe look to your children for inspiration. This site is also a great way to get inspiration. I love reading other peoples stories. It reminds me that I am not alone and that I can do this. I hope things get better for you! :flowerforyou:
  • WiiFitFan
    WiiFitFan Posts: 156 Member
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    Sounds like you may need to re-evaluate the situation. The facts are that you love to run and your son apparently loves to run as well. While you got so excited and pumped by changing your lifestyle, your husband may have felt a little left out and can't relate because he doesn't share your passion. You and your husband need to sit down and calmly talk about it and come to a compromise. I'm sure you can work out a running schedule and incorporate healthy eating into the family without making your husband feel overwhelmed with it all. You need to get back into your healthy lifestyle for yourself and for your family. Just try and do it more under the radar. Your husband will come around, but you can't expect him to share your passion for it as quickly as you did. I wish you and your family the best! :flowerforyou:
  • egam
    egam Posts: 127
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    These are not faults.

    These are legitimate feelings and it is really good to express them.

    As someone who also struggles with healthy mentality as well as nutrition, it might be important to assess your "obession". Is it true and harmful, or is it passion, is it something that makes you feel better. From your post, it sounds like although your husband maybe be concerned, he is not being very supportive. Getting back the feelings of control, in healthy ways, is so important. I hope getting back into running will help, and maybe posting more here about your nutrition and running goals will help ease some of the tension. We are all here for you!

    Take Care
  • ryan92408
    ryan92408 Posts: 11
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    Oh, my heart hurts for you right now! Your health and what makes you happy is what matters. Your job in your marriage is to be the best person you possibly can - you are not that person if you give up your passion. I have been through what you are going through and it seriously stalled my progress. I thought I was doing wonderfully, only to find out that my husband felt seriously threatened. As we worked through the issue, it turned out that my hubby was just really unhappy with where he was and needed to feel like he was progressing at something too. You will be ok, hang in there - take some time to nurture yourself but remember that health is a good thing to be obsessed about, we just have to find balance. :-)
  • blueillusion3
    blueillusion3 Posts: 151 Member
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    continue to run, it makes you feel better... don't stop. it sucks your husband isn't being supportive but give it a few more months, he might come around to it. maybe just don't talk about running to him and see if things get slightly better. and i agree with WiiFitFan, try to have a conversation with your husband, re-evaluate things. or why not find something that you both enjoy doing and can have something to share? he might be feeling a little left out. ::good luck::
  • SuperMoniMonk
    SuperMoniMonk Posts: 467 Member
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    There are people that are dream feeders and some are dream killers ...you choose who you listen too. Easy back into it. You are entitled to live a healthy and rewarding life. Don't let anyone rob you of your dreams..ease back in to it..find peace in God and in yourself..maybe your husband has felt negleted in some way. People that hurt others are usually hurting themselves.

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