Why can't I be normal?

libramoon140
libramoon140 Posts: 3 Member
edited November 16 in Motivation and Support
Sorry for what will no doubt be a long and depressing post. I'm on the verge of giving up. To be honest I probably already have. I've been trying to lose weight my entire life - since I was 13. And all I've managed to do is get fatter and fatter. I would lose weight but then gain it all back and that process is exhausting.

I live on a steady stream of sugar and fast food. Every single day I vow that things will change, I make plans, I cook healthy meals, but it never lasts. Why can't I just stop eating? I'm 230lbs now, at 5'8, and I don't see things getting any better. I'm 30 and I've never had a boyfriend.

I've tried every method in the book to lose weight from counting calories to keto. I'm pretty much going to spend my whole life trying and trying only to get more obese. I just don't know what to do. I can't live like this any more.

Replies

  • Valkmer2
    Valkmer2 Posts: 12 Member
    You need to figure out how to untie your eating habits from your emotions. I would say start with some therapy, both for your eating habits and for the depression that I suspect makes them so hard to change (I say this as someone with lifelong depression).

    You are the one who needs to live your life. Figure out why you're the one who's sabotaging that. I understand that it's hard and will bring up some stuff that you probably don't want to think about, but you can do it. At the risk of a bad pun, what do you have to lose?
  • kpeterson539
    kpeterson539 Posts: 220 Member
    So much what @usmcmp said.

    I've been exactly where you're at, @libramoon140. Put a smile on your face and remember you ARE worth it!! And start slow, take baby steps, start a new routine....something that you like and look forward to.

    We all had to start somewhere.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    What she said. Get some professional help. The really good advice you can find on these boards can be obscured by the wild west-ness of it. Still, it won't hurt to keep open to the good wisdom of this crowd.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • amtyrell
    amtyrell Posts: 1,447 Member
    Honestly this is more normal then you think. The key is not giving up and making today a bit better then yesturday and tommrow a bit better then today.
    Yes get help if you need it.
    But make one small change a change you can stick with. Keep that change for a month then add a 2nd small change. You say you eat junk food. Can you try just logging everything for a few weeks. No pressure to change diet yet just get in habit of logging. Then once that is a habit you will be able to make small changes that will add up.
  • AJbandit88
    AJbandit88 Posts: 31 Member
    First off you can never give up. If you had given up you wouldn't be posting on here. There's no way to know your whole story from one post but I can tell you are frustrated and at a loss. Weight loss can be overwhelming but at its basic it's not that bad. Try to take it slow and take small steps towards your goal rather than looking at how far you have to go. Take day by day and always try to make today better than yesterday. I eat a lot of take out and fast food but the key is to find what's better at each place you stop and try to cut portions down. It's hard at first but comes easier as you go. I believe in you and I know you won't give up. You are worth it and don't let anyone else tell you that you aren't.
  • libramoon140
    libramoon140 Posts: 3 Member
    Thanks everyone.
    I just get so frustrated when nothing I do seems to work. I've tried taking baby steps, for example adding vegetables to my meals and eating only homecooked meals. I've had some success in quitting junk food - even as I type this I haven't been to a fast food outlet in 3 weeks. But then when I'm drinking frappuccinos and eating family size bars of chocolate every day, those changes make no difference on the scale. Those sugary habits are the hardest to change.
    Also, I workout a LOT - embarrassingly I'm a dancer and beyond the 20 or so hours a week of dance we do, I also lift weights and do gymnastics, so it's even more shocking that I'm in this situation. My knees are starting to become very painful and yet I STILL can't stop eating.
  • DannyYMi54321
    DannyYMi54321 Posts: 77 Member
    You might want to see if you can get treatment through a weight management or eating disorders clinic. They have specialized knowledge and options available that you won't have access to if you go see a regular primary care/internal medicine doctor and/or a therapist who treats all different types of conditions. You may want to consider bariatric surgery if you can't get a grip on your eating disorder through other means. But there are other options, including medically supervised diet and exercise programs, drugs like phentermine and topamax that suppress the appetite, and of course counseling with someone who specializes in eating disorders.
  • tabletop_joe
    tabletop_joe Posts: 455 Member
    I'm shorter and fatter than you and I am happy. I have a career and a family and sexy times, the whole deal. I don't say that to brag, but to let you know that it is possible. Please get some help. You can get your eating under control and you can lose weight, but your pain needs work too.

    Good job recognizing your problem and reaching out.
  • libramoon140
    libramoon140 Posts: 3 Member
    Thank you.
  • deannalfisher
    deannalfisher Posts: 5,600 Member
    have you had a complete physical/blood workup (CBC/CMP) to make sure you have no health issues?
    agree with working with a professional (RD or similar)

    what is your goal weight? what has MFP given you for calories etc?
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    When I sought help the local weight loss clinic gave me focussed support for three years. I got training, therapy, and weight loss surgery. The alternative was to go on more medication and suffer continued loss of mobility.

    I love my new life. I'm fifty-six.
  • rsclause
    rsclause Posts: 3,103 Member
    I am a guy and two things that I can't do is skip a meal or diet. To me that is not what MFP is about. Its about lifestyle change. Once I got it in my head that I will not eat the burger and fries combo anymore it wasn't so hard. I gave up crappy foods and sweet drinks but I don't think of it a punishment because I replaced them with good foods and water or unsweet tea. I also realized when I started counting that I was badly overeating and adjusted my portion sizes. Once you setup good habits it becomes automatic. The big problem is you won't get instant satisfaction while making these improvements like you do on a sugar buzz or binge. You have to find a way to stick with it and not self destruct. Over time you will be rewarded with many benefits including your health and emotional wellbeing. So don't think diet think new lifestyle. Exercise will help not only burn calories but will get your mind focused. Set up a new routine and stick with it, you will be glad you did!
  • nickiphillips1
    nickiphillips1 Posts: 114 Member
    I am sorry that you are struggling. I have struggled with food my entire life.

    Four and a half years ago I got diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. A couple of months later I got diagnosed with depression. It was awful.
    It does sound to me like you have some depression going on.

    I highly recommend finding someone to talk to. Also, talk to your doctor. I don't think you can fix the eating thing until you fix what is happening otherwise. It seems to be intertwined. I ate my feelings for most of my life. I was a competitive swimmer most of my life, which is the only reason I wasn't morbidly obese. After menopause though, I couldn't lose anything.

    I have finally dealt with my eating and eat a clean diet. My MS is under control and I have been slowly going down on my anti-depressants.

    I have dealt with some awful things in my life. I don't eat my feelings anymore.

    I think that you can do this, but you need to deal with things going on in your life. It doesn't make you weak to reach out and get help. There are many places that can help you. The fact that you exercise and dance will help you lose weight when you are ready. Please reach out and get help. I know you can do it.
  • freedom2016mfp
    freedom2016mfp Posts: 75 Member
    Your openness and willingness to post tells me that you are intelligent, beautiful and courageous.... stay true to yourself emotionally and mentally and you'll get there slowly.... progress is still progress.
    Feel free to inbox me anytime.
  • Frenchgrrl
    Frenchgrrl Posts: 6 Member
    Don't give up Libramoon! You have to CHANGE how you are approaching weight loss. It isn't your fault! You learned these habits and they are ingrained. You can also UNLEARN them but it takes a lot of time.

    Please take the advice of a poster above who said LOG EVERYTHING and change NOTHING for the next few weeks.

    I have been doing myfitnesspal for a year. I binged like crazy yesterday and felt completely defeated. But you know what I did?

    I LOGGED IT ALL.

    And then I ate normally today. Because I have learned to LOG it.

    That is the only thing I've ever learned to do successfully.

    I've taken off about 30 pounds this year. I am now 'normal' but I struggle most days.

    I am 57.

    Don't wait till you are my age.

    JUST TODAY LOG.

    Report back tomorrow ;-))

  • Holly1019
    Holly1019 Posts: 43 Member
    I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I think what your going through is common. I have felt that way for years. I was up to about 330lbs when I finally made some changes stick. You are not alone. I was actually just on these boards asking for help myself. I am addicted to sugar, and an having a very hard time. I am still considered to be obese. I workout for hours daily, and still struggle with food every day. There are places that can help. My friend had great luck with weight watchers. Maybe talk to a dietition (dont know how to spell that?) Good luck!
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    edited March 2017
    This content has been removed.
  • pamfgil
    pamfgil Posts: 449 Member
    You also need to recognise that while losing weight will be a good thing it will not magically fix the rest of your life. Check out the wedding pages and you will see a lot of over weight brides, you will need to do other stuff to fix your social life.
  • wilsonsprom
    wilsonsprom Posts: 6 Member
    Please look after yourself. Remember that weight is only one part of you. What else is important to you? What matters? Defining yourself as a failure because of your eating is horrible and cruel. I second the value or therapy, if you can afford it. Something isn't right if it's so damned hard. And for the moment, I would focus on doing one healthy thing a day to care for yourself rather than punishing yourself on the scales.

    By all means, take a break from the "diet" but try to learn to care for yourself for a while. I can SO relate to this.
  • ariannajune86
    ariannajune86 Posts: 6 Member
    edited March 2017
    .
This discussion has been closed.

Categories