Dating

bdbfangirl20
bdbfangirl20 Posts: 57 Member
So recently I went on a date. The beginning was wonderful we met at a bookstore, we browsed music and books for about an hour before heading out for coffee. The conversation was great I was diggin his personality and more importantly his mind. But um towards the second hour he kept bringing my weight into conversation. Trying to "reassure" me it wouldn't be an issue. The problem with this is not once did I talk about my body and not once did we discuss anything of a sexual nature. So I kinda just brush it off but as he's taking me home he looks at me and says "you have such great style for a big woman." I just politely said thank you. To top it off he tells me he is looking for a girl he can be friends with but also take to bed without any complicated attachments.... now casual sex is fine and all but this was our first encounter. Like first time meeting in general. Am I crazy for finding this rude and disrespectful or?


Replies

  • dc8066
    dc8066 Posts: 1,439 Member
    Run
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,562 Member
    Huge red flag
  • tomorrowistoday0000
    tomorrowistoday0000 Posts: 125 Member
    Nope, cut him loose, too many red flags.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    I don't think he was trying to be disrespectful. It sounds like he told you exactly what he's looking for, "a girl he can be friends with but also take to bed without any complicated attachments". If you're not interested in that, then tell him so when you have the opportunity. If you are interested, then it's a win win.
  • edwinghee
    edwinghee Posts: 4 Member
    From a guy's perspective, I would say that he's in it just for the sex; however, even if you 2 are okay with casual sex he should at least be a gentlemen because you are a lady. Also, if you decide to continue talking to this guy you should make him aware that if your weight isn't a problem then he shouldn't keep bringing it up because it makes your feel some kind way. That's what I think! However, I would also suggest moving forward to someone better!
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
    So is it swipe left or swipe right? To elaborate on @edwinghee, whether he says it or not, he's in it just for the sex.
    He knows that the price of sex is rock-bottom low. He knows that you know that he can get all the sex he wants for free. He knows that if you want real human fwb, you have to be cheaper to him than free. How much self respect do you have?
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,388 Member
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    I don't think he was trying to be disrespectful. It sounds like he told you exactly what he's looking for, "a girl he can be friends with but also take to bed without any complicated attachments". If you're not interested in that, then tell him so when you have the opportunity. If you are interested, then it's a win win.

    Awesome post.



    .... what are you wearing?
  • bdbfangirl20
    bdbfangirl20 Posts: 57 Member
    edwinghee wrote: »
    From a guy's perspective, I would say that he's in it just for the sex; however, even if you 2 are okay with casual sex he should at least be a gentlemen because you are a lady. Also, if you decide to continue talking to this guy you should make him aware that if your weight isn't a problem then he shouldn't keep bringing it up because it makes your feel some kind way. That's what I think! However, I would also suggest moving forward to someone better!

    Yea I was okay with him being upfront it was more of the fact that he kept bringing up my weight. I did talk with him and it's just not gonna work for me. He didn't really care that he made me uncomfortable.
  • bdbfangirl20
    bdbfangirl20 Posts: 57 Member
    It was rude but it was your first time meeting and maybe he isn't very good at expressing himself with new people. If you like him and don't mind casual sex, give him another chance and just say let's keep my weight out of our discussion topics, k?

    He did say he was socially awkward I guess he didn't see it as offensive...even after i told him.
  • neldabg
    neldabg Posts: 1,451 Member
    So recently I went on a date. The beginning was wonderful we met at a bookstore, we browsed music and books for about an hour before heading out for coffee. The conversation was great I was diggin his personality and more importantly his mind. But um towards the second hour he kept bringing my weight into conversation. Trying to "reassure" me it wouldn't be an issue. The problem with this is not once did I talk about my body and not once did we discuss anything of a sexual nature. So I kinda just brush it off but as he's taking me home he looks at me and says "you have such great style for a big woman." I just politely said thank you. To top it off he tells me he is looking for a girl he can be friends with but also take to bed without any complicated attachments.... now casual sex is fine and all but this was our first encounter. Like first time meeting in general. Am I crazy for finding this rude and disrespectful or?


    You're not crazy. Stay far far away!
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    edwinghee wrote: »
    From a guy's perspective, I would say that he's in it just for the sex; however, even if you 2 are okay with casual sex he should at least be a gentlemen because you are a lady. Also, if you decide to continue talking to this guy you should make him aware that if your weight isn't a problem then he shouldn't keep bringing it up because it makes your feel some kind way. That's what I think! However, I would also suggest moving forward to someone better!

    Yea I was okay with him being upfront it was more of the fact that he kept bringing up my weight. I did talk with him and it's just not gonna work for me. He didn't really care that he made me uncomfortable.

    Good for you! Sounds like you deserve better.
  • DeficitDuchess
    DeficitDuchess Posts: 3,099 Member
    Makes me, glad to; be single!
  • caroldavison332
    caroldavison332 Posts: 882 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    I don't think he was trying to be disrespectful. It sounds like he told you exactly what he's looking for, "a girl he can be friends with but also take to bed without any complicated attachments". If you're not interested in that, then tell him so when you have the opportunity. If you are interested, then it's a win win.

    Awesome post.


    Or he could have been reassuring you. A wise rabbi said that everyone should go on TWO dates when they meet someone. What's another 3 hours of your life?
  • bdbfangirl20
    bdbfangirl20 Posts: 57 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    I don't think he was trying to be disrespectful. It sounds like he told you exactly what he's looking for, "a girl he can be friends with but also take to bed without any complicated attachments". If you're not interested in that, then tell him so when you have the opportunity. If you are interested, then it's a win win.

    Awesome post.


    Or he could have been reassuring you. A wise rabbi said that everyone should go on TWO dates when they meet someone. What's another 3 hours of your life?


    And if he was I guess that's nice but I didn't need reassurance..I mean I know what i look like and am confident in myself. If I decide that's the direction i wanted to go I Would have made it clear. I do think maybe I should give him another try his because we had so much in common and he has a genuine personality. But I'm not in the mood for just a *kitten* buddy *shrugs* those at everywhere ya know?
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,605 Member
    Move on to someone hotter