Not eating all of my calories

First, I want to thank EVERYONE for your input. It’s humbling that I posted a question and so many of you took the time to offer your suggestions voluntary. It’s obvious that each of you want to help each other out - and hopefully when I am further down the path of this journey I can pay it forward.

Now, @Pav8888 - have you been spying on me??? What you described could happen - DID HAPPEN!!! Three years ago I majorly cut calories (I’m talking 800 to 1K a day) and ran my *kitten* off every day burning Lord knows how many calories. In 6 months I lost 90 pounds. I was so freaking proud of my new body. I quit hiding from cameras. I posted pics with me in them on Facebook (I never did that before-always ashamed how I looked). And once I hit my goal, what you described, happened. Next thing you know, 3 years later and I am back to where I was - which quite literally has thrown me into such a pit of depression that I am taking meds for it. I was almost off BP meds - dosage cut from 50mg per day to 6.25mg and was about to stop them completely. Now I am back at 25mg per day. I keep rescheduling my yearly physical because I know if I don’t do something I will be back at 50mg. In a phrase, I became a mess - exactly what you described.

I’m 52 years old, 5’ 10” and 255 pounds (I started this journey last month at 267). We just became empty nesters and have a fun future to look forward to. My wife and I are certified Scuba divers and have talked about all the trips we can now take. But I feel like this is my last chance. If I can’t pull it off, get down to a healthy weight that my beautiful spouse can be proud of (not that she has ever said anything about my weight and is fully supportive of me) and stay there, well… I won’t type my thoughts on the potential outcome.

Anyway, I say all of this to let you know how important this is to me and how your advice is taken, understood, and used. I don’t take what each of you post lightly.

Thanks again for all of your suggestions!