Need Advice

lizalmp1234
lizalmp1234 Posts: 311 Member
edited November 17 in Motivation and Support
When I first started with MFP I lost about 66 pounds and it felt good. At that time, my boyfriend and I broke up, we were together since high school. I had a huge motivation because I started wanting to date other people. Now we are back together and I have gained all the weight back. Although you can't tell from my pictures, it's all in my hips and stomach. Although he says he supports me, I cannot seem to stay focused and lose the weight again, I'm thinking it's my fault of course but I'm feeling like maybe its better we aren't together....He isn't handsome, I'm not attracted to him and I certainly am not with him for looks but I am with him due to his personality, he is a great guy. Not sure if that is the reason, because I feel like I don't have to impress him and I am just not losing the weight or have any motivation. What should I do?

Replies

  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,751 Member
    I think it's sad that you don't find your partner handsome or attractive. Whether they fit a stereotypical ideal of physical "attractiveness" or not, surely you need to see them as attractive?

    I lost lots of weight a few years ago, it wasn't for my partner, it was for myself. There's no way I would have done it if it was only for someone else. If you want to do it enough for yourself, you'll make it happen.
  • lizalmp1234
    lizalmp1234 Posts: 311 Member
    I know...I agree with you...I met him when I was in high school through the phone and by the time I met him in person I was already in love. I was young, he was my first boyfriend and he is such a great guy. Now that I've grown, I feel like he isn't what I'm looking for. It's really complicated, and I feel like he doesn't want me to lose the weight.
  • DrMercury
    DrMercury Posts: 71 Member
    Hi lizalmp, just wanted to say one thing which is if the relationship doesn't help to make the best of you then it's not the best for you if that makes any sense? And I agree with livingleanlivingclean, we have to do it out of self-love, plus when it comes to love, from the evolutionary point of view (crazy stuff),it's about wanting to make love to someone in the first place, I mean if you're not physically attracted to someone love is out of the equation!
  • lizalmp1234
    lizalmp1234 Posts: 311 Member
    Thanks for the reply to both of you...@DrMercury it makes sense, I'm just not sure where to go from here.
  • DrMercury
    DrMercury Posts: 71 Member
    Personally, I think we all first need to come to the point that we deserve better and then, you're gonna go with your instincts cos it's about being happy and satisfied with what YOU are, otherwise you're living unconsciously.
  • Nakumari23
    Nakumari23 Posts: 7 Member
    Your partner should be one that motivates you and encourage you to do better. It might be that being him makes you lose the sense of urgency to workout but I think it could be other things.

    Being in a relationship also means you have less time for yourself since you are spending it with your partner. You might be busy doing other stuff with him that you neglect your workout routine. Maybe you guys can hit the gym together or make healthy meals together :) I started doing that with my boyfriend and it's been super fun and motivating!
  • lizalmp1234
    lizalmp1234 Posts: 311 Member
    Nakumari23 wrote: »
    Your partner should be one that motivates you and encourage you to do better. It might be that being him makes you lose the sense of urgency to workout but I think it could be other things.

    Being in a relationship also means you have less time for yourself since you are spending it with your partner. You might be busy doing other stuff with him that you neglect your workout routine. Maybe you guys can hit the gym together or make healthy meals together :) I started doing that with my boyfriend and it's been super fun and motivating!


    thanks nakumari
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