Mean Things People Said That Ended Up Motivating You
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Yesterday, I walked by the detention table and a kid yelled at me "She's ugly! She's SO ugly!!!"....I didn't binge that night and I called the dermatologist.
Also, in November my boyfriend told me the only reason he would break up with me was my 20 lb weight gain.
Hopefully that's motivation for you to break up with him & then lose 20 lbs.
If she breaks up with him she'll lose much more than 20 lbs :-P16 -
Two summers ago when I was about 100 lbs heavier, my family was hanging out at the playground for a picnic. My then-7 year-old nephew went to the monkey bars and was hollering for someone to come play with him. I ran over to play ... but he said to me "You can't play with me because you're too fat!" My sister (who is in great shape) was humiliated (as was I) and I teared up briefly but I decided then that was it. And slowly and steadily I made the changes and lost the weight.12
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wellthenwhat wrote: »French_Peasant wrote: »My then-9-year-old daughter: "Why do you have to be the fat mom?" LOL!! Out of the mouths of babes. I told her, first of all, I'm not THAT fat, and second of all, SHE is the one who is responsible. I laughed, but it was a good kick in the pants to get back to my pre-baby weight.
Technically no, she didn't spoon the food into your mouth, lol
Actually...having kids can greatly contribute to weight gain.6 -
I made this thread because - while I know that offensive things can be super detrimental - sometimes things that were really negative at the time can be made more positive if you reclaim them/their power over you. I'm not losing weight for the haters. I'm losing weight as a f*** you to every judgment against my appearance, whether that's from a family member, the media, or even myself.
I'm not losing weight FOR my great aunt, nor am I trying to impress her or anyone like her. It's a commitment to myself that I actually can do something that people were telling me I couldn't: take control of my weight and look better than ever.
A lot of weight loss can be for superficial reasons, so having superficial motivations isn't necessarily a bad thing. Also, getting these barbs out and reclaiming your power over them can be really empowering to some people.10 -
starfruit132 wrote: »My mother said I was 'letting myself go' on a visit last summer after I gained an additional 10 lbs in a year to 162 at 5'4. I am not sure if that was my final motivation to lose 28 lbs, but she sure does approve of me now.
Sorry that happened to you - that's *kitten* that approval is based on your weight.
However, I'm glad you were able to lose weight, if that's what you wanted0 -
I got sick of everyone asking if I was pregnant. The worst was at wedding, during the ceremony, I could hear my husband's mother discussing with someone whether or not I was pregnant or if it was just my dress. I refuse to call that witch by anything other than her name or "my husband's mother".
Not the reason I started losing weight, but definitely something that stays with me. My final straw was actually the embarrassment of having to have my wedding band cut off my finger.2 -
Because it happened to me, it was funny but I wouldn't think it funny if it happened to someone else but...
Several years ago I had just started walking and I wear ear buds. When approaching someone I turn down the music to exchange pleasantries. One day while passing a group of teenagers I heard one say "look at that fat *kitten*" not thinking I could hear them. I turned and said "why do you think I'm out here walking"? I had a smile on my face. Poor kids they actually said "so sorry" they were really embarrassed. I actually took it pretty lighthearted, one because it was true but also because they were apologizing.
But I can't say anything external helped. I've never been happy being overweight. My self talk was the worst!6 -
Yesterday, I walked by the detention table and a kid yelled at me "She's ugly! She's SO ugly!!!"....I didn't binge that night and I called the dermatologist.
Also, in November my boyfriend told me the only reason he would break up with me was my 20 lb weight gain.
You have bigger problems than just weight loss!
Agreed. Have you thought about talking to him about that? It seems like a really shallow, superficial and judgmental comment. No one who cares about you should say something like that.
You could lose over 100 pounds really fast and ditch the boy"friend."2 -
The only mean things about my body that anyone has ever said was when I got fit.
What got me to change was the voice in my own head. My jeans were getting pretty tight and one morning after a bit of a struggle, I saw two very large women waiting on the elevator to take them up one floor, and clear as a bell the voice said, "in 5-10 years, that will be you if you don't change". I'd been gaining 10lbs/year..Needed the first 20, didn't need the last 30. Took a walk that afternoon, and never looked back.
My mum told me that my muscles made me "almost ugly". That didn't change my routine or my goals.1 -
Oh I've heard it all! "You are fat. Your husband had an affair because you are disguisting. You have to stay because you have no other options for love. You've lost 62 lbs and you think 100 will
make it any better? What a joke!" That *kitten* in the mirror is pretty ruthless. Working on it.12 -
The only mean things about my body that anyone has ever said was when I got fit.
My mum told me that my muscles made me "almost ugly". That didn't change my routine or my goals.
IMO, the negative things people say when you are fit (or working at it) are based in jealousy. Those comments motivated me even more to continue on my path towards optimal fitness. My inner voice just replied, "you think I'm going to stop doing what I KNOW is right for me? Just watch me continue to kick my own @ss!"5 -
Because look at you. You let yourself go. Nobody is going to want you like that. 16 years ago. But, you never forget the words.4
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leanjogreen18 wrote: »Because it happened to me, it was funny but I wouldn't think it funny if it happened to someone else but...
Several years ago I had just started walking and I wear ear buds. When approaching someone I turn down the music to exchange pleasantries. One day while passing a group of teenagers I heard one say "look at that fat *asparagus*" not thinking I could hear them. I turned and said "why do you think I'm out here walking"? I had a smile on my face. Poor kids they actually said "so sorry" they were really embarrassed. I actually took it pretty lighthearted, one because it was true but also because they were apologizing.
But I can't say anything external helped. I've never been happy being overweight. My self talk was the worst!
Quoting myself to point out the filter...lol3 -
buffalogal42 wrote: »My then-7 year-old nephew went to the monkey bars and was hollering for someone to come play with him. I ran over to play ... but he said to me "You can't play with me because you're too fat!"
Sounds like a delightful, sensitive, warm hearted child. I know who I wouldn't be buying a Christmas for on that particular year.
Well, I will say that he apologized. Lol - and seems to have developed a little more compassion in the past two years. He just ran a food drive for the local food pantry. Hopefully it was lessons learned for us all. ;-)
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I work in a memory care unit and over the past year I have gained about 80 pounds I am now working on loosing it. I finally decided I was done with my current habits and it was time for a change when two different women with dementia (so of course I took no offense) rubbed my belly and asked how the pregnancy was going..... haha wow eye opener since I'm 21 and have no kids.4
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This happened last year when I was jogging with my head down minding my own business so this *kitten* points at me and tells her boyfriend look an elephant is running(I was 80 kgs then) I made a promise to myself I would run harder and faster. I didn't lose much maybe 3-4 kgs but I like to tell myself I made serious gains!3
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I grew up with my grandparents. My grandpa wasn't really taught how to communicate concern appropriately growing up. The "manly" thing to do is to make snide comments. I remember being 12 and him saying to me "We need a wide load sign for your kitten/asparagus/rear." (5'5, 160 lbs) You get the point. At the time, it hit me really hard because I was horseback riding 6x a week for an hour a day + barn chores and wasn't eating any worse than the rest of my family. He was the one cooking my meals!
Looking back now, I realize that he was concerned about me gaining weight at an alarming amount (puberty is weird) and didn't know how to vocalize it. When my body caught up to all of the exercise I was doing, I ended up hovering around 100 lbs at 5'5 @ 13 years old. He was the first person to tell me I looked like a walking graveyard, too.
At Christmas 2016, I came back to visit from college and the first thing he said to me was "Wow, you got fat." It stung until I remembered the stories I just told above. He might not be the most tactful, but he's never lied to me, so that comment was the kick in the pants I needed to take a good honest look in the mirror and make a change. I was the same height and weight that I was when he made the original comment about the wide load sign, which put me at the heaviest I'd ever been.1 -
For me, the mean comments don't help. They get in my head and interfere. The best I can do is just try to set them aside, and focus on taking care of myself in the same way I'd take care of someone I love. I'm trying to see myself through my husband's eyes. So I eat nutritious food that I like, in appropriate quantities, and try to build active hobbies and habits.
My narcissistic sister has a way of saying hurtful things that haunt me for years. I'll be seeing her soon, for the first time in a long while, and I'm frankly unnerved by how much I'm worrying about it. I've lost a bit of weight, and she's gained, so I'm sure she'll ramp up the hurtful things to make herself feel better. I have a couple of strategies to try, entirely based on how I'll respond, not on how to prevent her from saying it.4 -
Last month, I went shopping with a few classmates and one of them caught me looking at cute cropped sweaters that cut off about the mid riff, exposing a good proportion of the belly if worn with low waisted jeans. She gave my body a look and said, "You should probably look at clothes that better suit your build; cropped clothes will just be straight up ugly with your muffin top."
It was all the more intimidating coming from a gorgeous 5'9 who confidently flaunted her abs whenever possible, that day included.
This rang in my mind all day until I got home and weighed myself. I had gained precisely 6.3 kgs since starting university 6 months prior, more than a kilo a month. This was mostly down to lack of exercise - adjusting to university had been difficult for me, but that was no excuse. Until the summer before, I had been fairly fit from years and years of playing football, and the "summer body" was something I used to have throughout the year. That wasn't the case anymore - my clothes were tight for me and my flat stomach was replaced by a - she was right - muffin top.
That definitely motivated me to start running and eating healthy again. Hopefully I'll be somewhat fitter for the summer and maybe stun her at some point in a cropped top that doesn't show fat sticking out everywhere3 -
Nearly 10 yrs ago, but it still bothers me to this day. I was walking through a fair with my husband who is a redhead and we passed a dunking booth with a clown sitting on the seat above the water. He of course was hollering things out at people as they passed to try to get them to come dunk him and he said something to my husband to the effect of mocking his hair. I laughed and the clown said, "I don't know what you're laughing at, you look like you've enjoyed one too many Twinkies!" Everyone around looked at me, and I was mortified. I just wanted to leave and go home and to this day I remind people that I hate Twinkies! It really bothered me, even though my husband tried to remind me that the clown was just trying to make money and would've said anything to get me to pay to try to dunk him-but it still hurt.1
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I was constantly being asked when the baby was due. I wasn't pregnant.
I always shrugged it off as people just been rude.
Then a 5 year old asked...and I knew it was time to make some changes.1 -
Working on a girl guide biscuit stall with Miss 6. Spotted a sweet looking elderly lady going passed and did the usual "Good morning, would you like to buy some girl guide biscuits". She came up and said "No - I've never been as big as you and I don't want to get that way"
I just stood their dumbstruck.0 -
Awful gout attack last summer. Nearly had me lose my job because of the time off I was asking for to deal with the pain. Could hardly move and didn't really eat for about three days straight. Then when I started the healing process I took a long hard look at how I got to that point. That was me at 330 pounds and last Sunday weighing in at 270. Got a ways to go but man, what a wake up call.
EDIT: Oh crap I forgot the point of my story. My nephew as cute as he is (about 4 now) keeps calling me fat. He's just learning and all but yeah, that was another factor.3 -
Asked if I was pregnant a few times. Also the nurse called me obese. Now whilst it bothered me I didn't spring into action because of that. Being called names doesn't help everyone, in fact it makes some eat more
I lost weight when I was ready for a group holiday1 -
GemstoneofHeart wrote: »I was constantly being asked when the baby was due. I wasn't pregnant.
I made that mistake once.
Once.3 -
After my dad died last year I was struggling with everything in life and weight was one of them. I was going out on a date with a very beautiful male friend of mine march 2016.. and he mentioned that if we saw anyone he knew we would have to hide.
Lost nearly 30lbs since then, with that statement getting me off the couch countless times over the last year. Dont talk to that person anymore, but i do kind of appreciate the backhanded motivation he gave me.3 -
PeachesNcreamgal wrote: »This happened last year when I was jogging with my head down minding my own business so this *asparagus* points at me and tells her boyfriend look an elephant is running(I was 80 kgs then) I made a promise to myself I would run harder and faster. I didn't lose much maybe 3-4 kgs but I like to tell myself I made serious gains!
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I will always remember a friend saying "just because she (my friend) is smaller than you doesn't mean your less pretty". It had never even crossed my mind at that point that I was less pretty because I was a little bigger. That one sentence didn't motivate me then but has stuck with me since and motivates me now3
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Several moments stick out in my memory.... and push me each day to keep going.
My father once told me "your *kitten* is as big as the spread at the Ponderosa Steak house."
Celebrating Canada Day and wearing shorts with CANADA across the bum, again, my father exclaimed infront of a crowd " WOW I didn't know Canada was THAT big!!!"
And the most common I hear still, is, "You don't have a big bum, you just have big hips "
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My one co-worker told others that I was gonna gain weight when I changed to a sedetary job. I am determined to prove her wrong!3
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