Too fat to EVER get pregnant?

I don't have much to add, but I want to chime in that the doctor sounds fantastic, and I wish more medical professionals were so blunt and forward about addressing obesity. Sorry OP, sometimes people say things we don't want to hear, but the doctor is right, being overweight is having a drastic effect on your hormones, and before you address things via medications, you should address your weight as naturally as possible. With or without bariatric surgery, if you want a happy healthy pregnancy, being a happy healthy weight would go a long way towards that goal.

Again, not meant to offend. I just wish more doctors were so forward. Maybe I wouldn't have put on as much weight as I did if a doctor told me how out of line I was. Doctors should be saying something to people about obesity BEFORE it becomes a problem, IE, a doctor should have told you to cut weight down long before you realized you had an issue with your fertility.

Again, not meant to offend, I just really REALLY wish more doctors were so forthcoming.

I've had doctors tell obese friends of mine that the weight makes it much more difficult to conceive. I never tried to get pregnant (not the maternal type!), but when I was obese my gynecologist had told me that if I wanted to have children, the weight could interfere. So I think that it is generally accepted in the medical community that obesity does make it much harder.

However, there is a lot of ground between 295 and 175. It is possible that you won't conceive at 295 but would at 225. Everybody is different. Lose as much as you can and keep trying. In the meantime, get your other health issues checked out.

About your doctor: I know most people here are criticizing him, but I personally appreciate bluntness because there is no misunderstanding. I also have friends who are doctors, and many times they get frustrated because patients ignore their advice. Was you doctor rude? Perhaps. The question is if you are comfortable with him and believe he is good. Is so, stick with him. If not, find one you are more comfortable with. If you are going to avoid going to see him, he can do you no good.

I lost 100 pounds. When I had lost about 50, I had to switch doctors for insurance reasons. My new doctor (primary care) advised losing weight (as any good doctor would). I told her I had already lost 50, but she warned that most people don't keep it off and that I was still obese....which was true. I appreciated the directness. When I saw her at my next visit a year later, she was shocked and incredibly happy that I had lost more and was at a healthy weight. This is a woman I had only seen twice, but she was genuinely happy for me and stressed what an exception I was among her patients. I tell you this only to help you understand where the doctor was coming from. They have seen far too many people not lose the weight or gain it back so they can't help being pessimistic and critical.

First of all, the issues you're describing "heavy periods, infertility, hair loss and generalized fatigue" are hormonal related issues likely related to your obesity. Body fat is considered a part of our endocrine system because it is hormone producing.

Is it harder to get pregnant when you're obese? YES. Is there more risk associated with obese pregnancy? YES. You can read more here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2621047/

"Maternal obesity is associated with an increased risk of diabetes, both pregestational diabetes and GDM.37,38 Compared with normal weight women (BMI < 25 kg/m2), a recent meta-analysis of 20 studies demonstrated that the OR of developing GDM was 2.14 (95% CI, 1.82–2.53), 3.56 (95% CI, 3.05–4.21), and 8.56 (95% CI, 5.07–16.04) among overweight (BMI 25-30 kg/m2), obese (BMI > 30 kg/m2), and severely obese women (BMI > 40 kg/m2), respectively. A recent study found that weight gain in the 5 years prior to becoming pregnant, even at a rate of 1.1 to 2.2 kg per year, increases the risk of developing GDM, and that this was especially true for women who were not initially overweight.

The development of GDM has a number of adverse maternal and fetal implications. For women, these include an increased risk of hyperglycemia, cesarean delivery, and diabetes in later life, with more than 50% of women with GDM acquiring diabetes within 20 years of delivery.40 The implications for the offspring may be even more severe. Pregnancies complicated by GDM have a 4-fold increased risk of perinatal mortality and a 3-fold increased risk of macrosomia. In addition to being larger, infants born of pregnancies complicated by GDM also have significantly larger skin folds at all areas of measurement (triceps, subscapular, flank, thigh, abdomen) and, as such, are at increased risk of shoulder dystocia and resultant birth injury.41 Moreover, offspring born of GDM pregnancies are more likely to develop childhood and adult obesity (OR 1.4 [95% CI, 1.2–1.6] for every 1-kg increment in birth weight) as well as type 2 diabetes mellitus."

Essentially, it is negligent (in my opinion) to purposely get pregnant when morbidly obese. You are opening yourself up for gestational diabetes (which will increase your chance of diabetes mellitus later in life), eclampsia, complications requiring c-section, and you're also increasing your child for abnormally high birth rate, high chance of developing diabetes, and so much more.

While i believe the doctor was harsh, I am in agreement that at your current size it simply isn't advisable for your own health or the health of your future child. I'm not sure of your height, but, even at your initial "weight loss" size of 175lbs you may have been susceptible to the increase risk of these complications.

Suggesting weight loss surgery to someone in your position: morbidly obese, history of significant weight regain, inability to sustain healthy weight loss past 3 years, wants children, etc. is the right thing to do. Can you lose weight without weight loss surgery? Absolutely, you've done it before! But it would be negligent of the doctor not to suggest a potentially life altering surgery to a patient who qualifies to have the procedure.

I'm sure you know this, but weight loss surgery generally has higher retention rates of lower BMI in the morbidly obese as standard dieting has a high failure rate. This means maintaining weight loss for longer than 5 years. You've already failed to do that once. Most people who are significantly overweight have problems with regulating hunger after weight loss and this is a serious factor when it comes to retention. You may also experience trouble regulating certain hormones after significant weight loss and gain.

I'm sorry, as much as I want to rally with others and comment on how much of a jerk your doctor was; I just can't. It sounds like he gave you the facts without any consideration for your feelings, yes, but those are the facts.

Whether you choose weight loss surgery or to lose weight overtime through a calorie deficit you've got to find a way to maintain a healthy body weight over time for the sake of your own health and that of any children you want. I would seek as much medical care and help for this as possible, potentially even psychiatric help as gaining 125+ pounds in a couple years is not "normal". You might have some underlying hormonal issues, eating disorder, etc. and it's best that you handle this now.


P.S. I would expect this to take longer than a year no matter what route you go.

PatriNina wrote: »

Have been reading all of your insightful and inspiring comments after coming back from a mind-clearing long walk with my dogs. I'm sure calorie counting and a more active lifestyle are my one and only fix (not even considering the recommended quick fix).

But from what I've read here, I'm going to bed with peace of mind and more determination to become a healthy and active mommy one day (hopefully soon)!

Recommended quick fix? Please research bariatric surgery. The surgery cannot lose the weight for you. Check out the my 600lb show. They had several patients fail to lose or even gain after surgery

Its a tool, it helps the patient start the process, reducing portion sizes but ultimately they choose what to put in thier mouths, they choose to exercise

Ive had gastric bypass surgery. I weighed 387lb i had tried various diets including pills and diets recommended by my doctor. I actually ended up.really ill trying. I continued to get sicker and was told i had 5 years left to live if i was lucky. When they offerred to reffer me (im in the uk) i asked to go on a tier 3 program. I stuck to it and lost a little so agreed to go ahead with the surgery process which took a year. In that year they realised i had several auto immune conditions that they helped get under control

Along with sticking to the program i took up the gym and then running. In my seminar group i was the only one to lose more than 5 stone (i lost 13) and the others regained

But people bag on me for having surgery lose the weight for me. Yep a row of staples got me out of bed at 5am so i could exercise. Yep that row of healed staples chose a chicken salad instead of the cheese burger and fries (i can eat a happy meal no problem on the occasions i decide to)

You know what the surgery did do for me? It gave me those extra years back. While im in pain all day every day from the auto immune conditions i can still do so much more. Like today when i strapped my son to my back and hiked 10k

You might dismiss it for your lifestyle but dont assume its just a quick fix situation