365 Days of Learning

My Husband and I have a little joke between us... Every night, I go home and ask him “Rusty, what did you learn, today?” and he will tell me whatever outrageous nonsense he has found while searching the internet... but, for the last year – he could have asked me the same question – and I could have answered with something a little more serious.

I am going to focus on just the last year. Prior to this – I did lose a significant amount of weight – but, I didn’t REALLY “get it” until I started using MFP and weighing and logging my food accurately... If you want some back-story, you can check out my profile.

So – my year begins on March 30, 2016. I weighed 260 lbs – down from 275 a few short months before. I had lost 15 lbs “by accident” when my Husband was recovering from ankle surgery. It would seem that pushing a wheelchair, hauling it in and out of the car, and generally finding that you suddenly have to run back and forth a lot more to assist an invalid is actually a very good exercise program... So, I decided to see what I was eating – whether I could improve on my accidental loss – or whether I would have to spend endless hours at the gym and starve myself to lose more weight.

This might be the only picture of me at 260. I shied from the camera and hid in the back of photos.



The first thing I learned was that I would NOT have to starve myself to lose a pound a week... in fact, I could eat nearly 2000 calories a day – based on a “Lightly Active” setting.

The second thing was that I was already very close to that number without changing too much on my eating plan.

I set my initial goal weight at 200. I mean, I had weighed 275 for a decade – and 200 was a weight I hadn’t seen since college – and I knew if the number of pounds “left to go” was too huge, I would just throw in the towel. I could accept 60 pounds. That number didn’t discourage me – and so it began.

I monitored my food intake for several days – without intentionally changing anything – and found that I was meeting the calorie goals, anyway. Why? Well, because I was monitoring – and making subconscious choices – knowing I would be logging my food – and it just wasn’t that hard to eat a little less butter or choose mustard over mayo.

I had already known that I don’t do deprivation, well – so, I didn’t put too many restrictions on myself. WHAT I was eating wasn’t nearly as important as how much – at least not in the beginning. I figured out early on that trying to do what had worked for others was not going to cut it. I had to figure out what would work for ME and do that.

I learned a lot in that first month – that the food database listings vary wildly in accuracy – that it would serve no purpose to choose the lowest calorie number for the item in the database – so I learned to err on the side of reporting too many calories rather than too few – and that the pound a week promised by my “Lightly Active” calorie goal was happening – so long as I went to the gym.

Am I “lightly active?” Nope. Not at all – but, I decided I could be, to be able to eat real food. In March, my company had its annual “Get Active” campaign... I signed up as a team captain, got a Fitbit, and started walking more during the day, at work.

Because I knew that “lightly active” was inaccurate, I did not eat back my exercise calories. I liked seeing that 300-500 calories left at the end of every day. It was a clear indication that I WOULD lose my pound – if I had left that 500 calories a day on my diary for the whole week. I could know, with certainty, that the weight I lost was entirely up to me – and how much I got up and exercised.

That was a biggie – Learning that I was in control. Not my Husband, not my employer, not the day or the phase of the moon... ME. It was up to me – and by God I was doing it! Pounds were falling off – at regular intervals – approximately 1+ pounds a week. Huh, go figure.

So, I had the "magic" formula – eat good food, exercise a lot, lose weight, be happy. Was the weight loss steady? Nope. Chicks get puffy once a month – but, I realized this, accepted it, and knew it would pass – so I waited it out and was rewarded by the return to “Normal” weight minus a few pounds month after month.

I discovered the recipe generator – the most awesome tool EVER – and really got a grip on how many calories were in the dishes I cooked. Here, also, I was in control. I could balance protein and carbs if I cooked the food myself.

I learned – by repetitive weighing and measuring – what an ounce of cheese actually looks like... and a variety of other things about serving size. I had weighed and measured in the past – but, when you stop doing it – you forget... your eyes play tricks... I learned that, while I could now give a pretty accurate estimate of the weight of a slice of cheese, I would just keep measuring – so I didn’t slide off into fantasy about portion size, again.

I learned that an off day, every now and then, would not blow up the whole process... that was another biggie. So, I had a day where I ate 2500 calories... Oops. I accepted it, and I moved on. I learned that, so long as I didn’t do it often – an off day now and then just reminded my body I wasn’t in any way deprived, and it didn’t need to hold on to every ounce of fat.

I read a book, recommended by some MFP friends, called “Strong Women Stay Younger.” The science of strength training was hard to deny – especially for a 50+ chick like me – and I began incorporating a more structured lifting program into my daily exercise.

Yes, Daily Exercise. I learned that if exercise wasn’t some big event – that if it were just something you did every day, like brushing your teeth or flushing the toilet – that you would just do it every day... like brushing your teeth, or flushing the toilet. It didn’t have to be romantic or exciting – it just had to be something I could tolerate for 30 minutes a day. So, I set the alarm for one hour earlier – and started going to the gym every morning. I read a trashy novel on my tablet as I chugged away on the elliptical. It was like magic. Biff and Clarice found true love, while I worked up a sweat. The gym visit became part of my daily routine – the exercise became a habit. Some days I worked out for 25 minutes, some days I did 45 – or 60 – it just depended on how much time I had – but EVERY day, I got up, I put on my gym clothes and I went to the gym. It was just what I did after the alarm went off every morning.

I learned that my general intolerance for breakfast was not a criminal offence... that in fact, it was called Intermittent Fasting – and I started paying attention to the “eating window” and intentionally following a 16/8 eating schedule. And stopped feeling like I was committing a crime by skipping a meal that had always revolted me. I was doing what worked for ME... and again, the experience was empowering.

I learned that my initial goal was not ambitious, enough. I had already lost something like 35 pounds when I decided to change my goal weight to something a little more meaningful – my current initial goal weight is 183 pounds – half of my highest weight. (I say initial goal – because at 183, the BMI chart still shows me at “Obese.” I don’t drop into merely “Overweight” until I hit 174. “Healthy” is 147 for me – according to the BMI chart, anyway. What happens after I hit 183 is anybody’s guess – but, I do know that it will be whatever works for me.)

I learned that wearing loose clothing was not attractive... better fitting clothes were just better. The second I traded in my baggies for better fitting clothes, I started to get a lot of positive feedback from the people around me.

I learned that old fat (fat that has been in place for 20 or 30 years) melts away like a glacier... slowly at first – almost unnoticeable – but then the fat starts to slide around and flow like mud... Not pretty – but definitely disappearing...

I learned that good girdles were more important than new shoes and good emotional support was more important than chocolate.

I found an amazing group of gals who cheer me on when I am succeeding, and who gently kick my butt when I am sliding off the rails. Having them there, to talk me down when I wanted to be at my goal weight RIGHT NOW! Instead of continuing the long-haul drive toward better health, has kept me sane. Just knowing I would have to confess if I did anything stupid saved me a time or two from inhaling a 1 lb. bag of Doritos.

I learned that my eyes had been playing tricks on me for years – I actually DID have a fat face... because now the pictures showed it was melting away.

Every day there was another revelation – another small miracle – another step toward a better, healthier future...

Collar bones, feeling strong, gaining confidence... little things that would just suddenly strike out of the blue and remind me that I was on the right path.

I learned to take a compliment... to not hide in photographs... to like what I saw in the mirror – even though it wasn’t perfect.

I learned a couple of substitutions that I could live with – Ranch Dip made with cottage cheese instead of sour cream – which made it possible for me to have my favorite veggies and dip on a regular basis and “Honey Mustard” made with spicy brown mustard, cinnamon and equal – which tarts up almost any form of protein when you just can’t stand the same old chicken breast, again.

I had a little snag at the beginning of January... my knee started to ache and scream – the old bones were unhappy after I did a weekend of extreme activity – and while the orthopedic surgeon said I didn’t need knee replacements (YET!), my physical therapist told me to knock off the weight bearing exercise... no more elliptical for ME... *sniff*

And that is when I learned that I have gotten so much stronger than I had been in the past. I did not sink onto my couch never to rise again – having been given the perfect excuse to stop exercising....

I changed my MFP calorie goal – because, now I truly was sedentary. I bit the bullet and ate less calories – because there is just NO WAY that I am ever going backward, again.

I got on-line and ordered a body-covering swimsuit with long bike shorts and a swim t-shirt – since there was no way in “heck” that I was going to expose my droopy thighs and saggy arms to the public.... and I became a member of the local parks and rec – so I could swim laps on the weekends. During the week, I have physical therapy twice a week – and I ride the stationary bike and lift during the other three days. I never want to lose the habit of getting up, throwing on the exercise gear, and heading out to burn some calories or strengthen my body.

I had NO perceptible change in my weight-loss progress. (VICTORY!) The scale just kept on creeping downward. A little more sporadically – but definitely still moving downward.

After a few initial acclimation days, I learned that I actually could survive on 1400 calories, if I pushed the IF window a little smaller... I started waiting until later in the day to start eating – which made me less hungry at my second meal in the evening.

I learned that I actually could deal with adversity, accept change without stuffing my face... and that success – and perhaps even a “Normal” BMI could be in my future.

But, for now, I just keep swimming (both literally and figuratively) toward my initial goal of 183 – KNOWING that I will make it there, someday – no matter how long it takes.

Most of all, I have learned that nothing can stop me, so long as I don’t give up.



MFP Starting Weight: 260
Height: 5’ 4”
Current Weight: 205
Initial Goal Weight: 183

Waist – 38” down from 46” in March 2016
Hips – 48” down from 56” in March 2016