How To Get Someone Motivated
GoBatgirl23
Posts: 3 Member
Need some advice, please. I lost about 20 pounds last year and still have a bit more to go. I eat as healthy as possible and exercise when I can. I know I can do better but am trying. My husband, however, is eating horrible and not exercising at all this is causing for him to be the largest weight I have ever seen him. How do I get him motivated to join me? I know a lot is on him, but maybe there is something I can do.
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Replies
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The tough part is that he's gotta want it. The best advice I'd have is to keep doing what you're doing and maybe by seeing your successes, he realizes he wants to get motivated.2
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Motivation comes from within. You can't give it to anyone.
You can invite him to go with you to do fun, active things - a nice walk, kayaking, hiking, whatever.3 -
I share your struggle. My significant other seems to gain more the more I lose. Then I hear her complain she needs to lose some weight. As the other two said keep doing your own thing! It may peak an interest in him but if not at least ask him to make your journey easier on you not harder! Hope I helped! Add me to your friends list if you want I'll be here for support anytime!2
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I understand the frustration. I have been working hard and my watching my husband eat fast food and milkshakes. I took all snacks out of the house but he would just go get fast food. It is hard. But he stepped on the scale for the first time in a while and saw he is already 30lbs heavier than when we got married back in August and probably 60 or 70 lbs heavier than when we met 3 years ago. And so he finally said he would listen to what I said about the junk food and surgery drinks. I told him he doesn't have to work too hard. He has a physical job, he just needs to stop with the extra junk and eat what I make and it will be easy for him. So he is going to do that. And last night I got 15k steps in our challenge and he was motivated to start walking after work to keep up with me.1
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Simply put: you can't really motivate anybody else. You can threaten (NOT recommended) and you can offer rewards, but ultimately we are all self-motivated (or not). I'm facing a similar problem with my wife. All I can do is be supportive when she makes a move in the right direction, and lead by example. Until she decides that she wants to put the effort in to make the changes she wants to see, there's nothing I can do.2
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It took my SO about 3 years of watching me being consistent in weight loss and and increasing my fitness level, then maintaining for a couple of years, before he asked me what I had done.
I explained calorie counting and he took to it like a duck to water.
He lost his excess weight and increased his exercise. As well as swimming and running he now comes to aqua fit and yoga with me to help with flexibility. Haven't got him on the weight room yet
I took my time, a year to lose 30 lbs; started with just 3 x 60 classes a week (upping it to an hour a day of doing something) and didn't stress over it or harp on about what I was doing- life in the household went on as normal. I still ate out, went to functions, parties, vegged out on the couch, enjoyed cruises, etc.
I know for my SO it was the low stress, slow build of exercise, no food restrictions, just portion control, that made it appealing to him.
I have have been maintaining 7 years, SO 3-4. I have a maintenance range of 5 lbs, SO has one of 10lbs.
You can't force someone to lose weight and improve their health; but with consistency in your own program you can lead by example- it will be up to him if he wants to follow.
Cheers, h.1 -
Basically, you can't make him unless he wants to. You can persuade him but not force him. Best way is to get him to do it on his own. Just do what your doing and maybe your healthy habits will rub off on him.0
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