Binge Eating and BDD

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I haven't seen many people talking about it but I've struggled with binge eating from the ages of 13-18. But I also used to avoid eating and starve myself during the day so I'm not too sure what to call what I had. I often feel the urge to binge some days and it's an awful feeling and it's always there. I avoid the food that I used to binge on, I was nearly in tears talking to my boyfriend about a food that he wanted to get so we could make it for dinner but I couldn't have it in case I binge ate again. There's even some biscuits I don't eat because I used to eat an entire packet a night when my family was asleep!

I also suffer from bdd - body dysmorphic disorder. I wasn't diagnosed until last year and it took me around 6 months before I was able to mention it to anyone. I often feel like crying whenever I talk about it. I've been trying to lose weight for nearly 2 years and despite making progress and even seeing it sometimes it feels like I've not gotten anywhere! I feel like I'm getting better with dealing with it, but I'm often worried about it getting out of hand again and going back to the horrible habits I had in high school.

Was looking for others that are dealing with it and trying to support one and other with our recovery and helping each other through it and hearing their experiences!

Replies

  • elyvegan
    elyvegan Posts: 19 Member
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    Been there! Its terrible! The urge and the the guilt...is a destructive behavior cause by anxiety (in my case). When I was in school i used to fast breakfast at 8 am but by 10 am i was eating a pop tart with a sprite, then by lunch i will eat rice, chocolate milk and fatty food, later, at 3 pm when i got home i would eat whatever my mom made and at 5 pm again but double portion. At 8 pm i used to buy cookies and cakes to eat it with milk...soo...next morning i will wake up depress and with a lot of guilt. By that time i was at almost 300 pounds.

    But I feel like Im overcoming that behavior. First of all I dont fast anymore, i eat properly my 3 meals, i consume green tea almost every day and it help me with the sugar cravings. I give up on most of the process food with lot of sugar (like cereal for example) and also animal products (but thats a personal choice, not trying to be a guru). i started to consume more bananas, apples, nuts in moderation and whole foods. Today Im 169.2 lbs and trying to lose 28 more for my 28th bday on July.

    Dont lose the hope. You can do it. Feel free to add me

  • Happierkat
    Happierkat Posts: 1 Member
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    Hey friend! I binge eat pretty bad too and it's school stress. Yeah it's not something I get totally comfortable talk about too but it's something I struggle with too, like you said fast at times and then eat everything in sight with the depressed guilty feeling afterwards. I'm trying to get back down to my summer weight before I go to the U.K. To feel happier and not sonself conscious. Feel free to add me and we can keep each other motivated!
  • LadyGisborne
    LadyGisborne Posts: 32 Member
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    Hello - I was a binge eater for several years (between 21 and 25 years old were the worst years). There were days when I ate over 10,000kcal - I remember one day I was in so much pain that I could barely move, but once I could lift myself off the floor it was to go and get more food. I became a morbidly obese recluse.
    Things got better when I had my first child. It was the kick in the backside I needed. I still struggle with emotional eating but I haven't had a real binge for many, many years.
    On a day-to-day basis, what helped me was getting out of the house, even if it was just to sit on a bench down the street. Looking back I think I may have been depressed and the sunlight helped.
    Baby steps were the key - at one point I was taking things not a day at a time, but an hour at a time.
  • kristikitter
    kristikitter Posts: 602 Member
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    Hi amyteacake :) I am a binger too - I have always liked food but the binging got really bad when I went away to university in 2008. Everyone else was developing relationships and hobbies, whilst I was getting excited over going shopping and then eating multipacks of crisps and biscuits up in my room. I still made a fabulous group of friends, but I always looked forward to getting in at the end of a night out to eat.

    Fast forward to now - I still get urges to secretly binge, mostly when I'm stressed, or upset. I have a handle on it now but (ironically) I am the heaviest I've ever been due to a sedentary lifestyle.

    I, too, get upset if I find out that food I can't control myself around has been brought into the house. Fruit Shortcake biscuits set me off, as do Jaffa Cakes. Full-fat Coca Cola too! I get angry and tearful, as if the food has been bought specifically to tease me - of course, it hasn't!!

    What do people do to distract from binges? If I get up and move around physically, or immerse myself in something cerebral like crosswords, then the urge tends to subside.
  • amyteacake
    amyteacake Posts: 768 Member
    edited April 2017
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    Thank you to everyone commenting! My relationship with food has been all over the place and I've never really had anyone to talk to with it and feels like if I mention it to friends and family they don't really listen all that much! I nearly cried when I had to talk to my boyfriend about it at the weekend because I've never told anyone about the foods I avoid in case I binge on them again

    @kristikitter I used to binge eat on Jaffa Cakes as well, would eat an entire packet to myself. My friend bought me one of the giant tubes for Christmas and it didn't take me long to finish them at all. I usually write to distract myself from binges since it's something I've always done and it's helped me through so many things!

    I'm starting therapy in a few weeks and I'm a bit nervous/scared to talk to them about it since I've never spoke to anyone about it before other than my boyfriend and one of my friends - who said she would kick my butt if she found out I went back to the bad eating habits that I had.
  • sand86802
    sand86802 Posts: 125 Member
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    I struggled with binge eating and depression in my early 20s (it started years before that but that was the worst period).

    I realized I needed help after one night where I binged on pizzas (yes plural). I ate 2 large, ended up vomiting because my stomach just couldnt handle he excess. I was in a lot of pain... and yet I ate the third one. That was my biggest wake-up call. I went through therapy, was on anti-depressants for a while too.

    Now it's a decade later, I can't say I am cured 100% but the depression is gone and I am for the most part able to fight the urge to binge. I still find it hard to not eat between set meals ans snacks.

    What I am saying is that you are not alone. Others know what you are going through. There is no shame in being sick. And you can get through it wih help.

    Hold on tight and you will make it through! Feel free to add me for support.
  • amyteacake
    amyteacake Posts: 768 Member
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    sand86802 wrote: »
    I struggled with binge eating and depression in my early 20s (it started years before that but that was the worst period).

    I realized I needed help after one night where I binged on pizzas (yes plural). I ate 2 large, ended up vomiting because my stomach just couldnt handle he excess. I was in a lot of pain... and yet I ate the third one. That was my biggest wake-up call. I went through therapy, was on anti-depressants for a while too.

    Now it's a decade later, I can't say I am cured 100% but the depression is gone and I am for the most part able to fight the urge to binge. I still find it hard to not eat between set meals ans snacks.

    What I am saying is that you are not alone. Others know what you are going through. There is no shame in being sick. And you can get through it wih help.

    Hold on tight and you will make it through! Feel free to add me for support.

    I'm glad to hear that you're better and able to fight through your urges! I often try my best to fight through the urges to binge and sometimes it is a really difficult thing to do when I know the food is there and I could easily go and eat it right now.

    I keep telling myself that isn't anything wrong with being sick. And it's okay not to be okay! These past few days I've felt absolutely horrendous and I'm trying my best to power through it but I just feel so horrible. I will add you!