As a 46yo woman with "obesity genes," is this even possible?
wanderinglight
Posts: 1,519 Member
Hi All. I'm feeling so discouraged.
I have been fit, very active and very vigilant about how I and what I eat for the past 20+ years. But I feel like I've been in a crisis-induced fog for the past three years or so, and somewhere along the way I gained 40lbs. I know the reasons I've put on the pounds -- it's not a surprise -- but I truly don't know if it is now possible, at this age and with my specific issues, to lose this weight. I feel like the odds are so stacked against me and I'm losing heart.
Some background: as I said, I've always been very fit and a very healthy eater. My job was quite physical, and staying at a healthy weight was a priority. About five years ago I was in a terrible accident and went through two years of surgeries (two back surgeries and shoulder surgery). This was when I was 42yo. I managed to not gain too much weight during the sedentary recovery by being very careful with my diet. Then we moved across the country, I lost my job, I became a fulltime caregiver to my dying mother-in-law, I had a miscarriage, my husband lost his job, and we took on tremendous money issues. In short, the stress has been off the charts for about three years now. With my new exercise limitations, I found that I could no longer work out the way I was used to, and I lost my enthusiasm for it. I started eating more sugar and processed food than I had in the past. We are finally emerging from those difficult years, and I am waking up to the fact that I let myself go.
That being said, I dedicated myself to starting to lose the weight, and for the past 8 weeks I've done all of the things that I normally do and that have worked in the past. But I have not lost a single pound. I went to my doctor to get my thyroid tested (since I'm also very tired, constipated, and my hair is falling out) but she said my levels were fine.
I eat between 1200 and 1500 calories per day, and I eat back my exercise calories. I bumped up my workouts and I work out 4 or 5x per week, alternating swimming with yoga or walking. I cut out sugar and all processed foods. I measure my food and cook my meals, eating whole foods and mainly protein, vegetables and occasionally whole grains or brown rice.
I do not know what else I can do. So please, tell me if there are any success stories out there, because I'm feeling very lost.
I read a few articles the other night that explained that women have an extremely difficult time losing weight at this age because of our hormones, the difficulty in putting on / keeping muscle mass, declining metabolism, genetics, and our age. All the women in my family on my mother's side are very overweight, and have struggled with weight issues all of their lives.
I feel like I've hit some sort of tipping point now where I've gained too much to lose, and the best I can hope for is to accept the condition that I'm in and not gain any more.
I have been fit, very active and very vigilant about how I and what I eat for the past 20+ years. But I feel like I've been in a crisis-induced fog for the past three years or so, and somewhere along the way I gained 40lbs. I know the reasons I've put on the pounds -- it's not a surprise -- but I truly don't know if it is now possible, at this age and with my specific issues, to lose this weight. I feel like the odds are so stacked against me and I'm losing heart.
Some background: as I said, I've always been very fit and a very healthy eater. My job was quite physical, and staying at a healthy weight was a priority. About five years ago I was in a terrible accident and went through two years of surgeries (two back surgeries and shoulder surgery). This was when I was 42yo. I managed to not gain too much weight during the sedentary recovery by being very careful with my diet. Then we moved across the country, I lost my job, I became a fulltime caregiver to my dying mother-in-law, I had a miscarriage, my husband lost his job, and we took on tremendous money issues. In short, the stress has been off the charts for about three years now. With my new exercise limitations, I found that I could no longer work out the way I was used to, and I lost my enthusiasm for it. I started eating more sugar and processed food than I had in the past. We are finally emerging from those difficult years, and I am waking up to the fact that I let myself go.
That being said, I dedicated myself to starting to lose the weight, and for the past 8 weeks I've done all of the things that I normally do and that have worked in the past. But I have not lost a single pound. I went to my doctor to get my thyroid tested (since I'm also very tired, constipated, and my hair is falling out) but she said my levels were fine.
I eat between 1200 and 1500 calories per day, and I eat back my exercise calories. I bumped up my workouts and I work out 4 or 5x per week, alternating swimming with yoga or walking. I cut out sugar and all processed foods. I measure my food and cook my meals, eating whole foods and mainly protein, vegetables and occasionally whole grains or brown rice.
I do not know what else I can do. So please, tell me if there are any success stories out there, because I'm feeling very lost.
I read a few articles the other night that explained that women have an extremely difficult time losing weight at this age because of our hormones, the difficulty in putting on / keeping muscle mass, declining metabolism, genetics, and our age. All the women in my family on my mother's side are very overweight, and have struggled with weight issues all of their lives.
I feel like I've hit some sort of tipping point now where I've gained too much to lose, and the best I can hope for is to accept the condition that I'm in and not gain any more.
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Replies
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A few things:
1. The articles you mention are self-defeating. To believe them is to accept accuses why you can't--and then you'll never succeed. Do not read any more of these articles.
2. If you acknowledge you'd like to eat less sugar and processed food, then I'd propose you try Paleo, or a variation (like whole30). Not forever--just long enough to 'reset' your food choices. Other people might suggest other diets--their suggestions ought be considered too.
3. If you're still having money problems, you might look into "Dave Ramsey". He has a 3hour daily radio show, available in Podcast form, an budget app called EveryDollar, and a 9-week class offered by Christian churches all over the country.4 -
Most of the problems with weight gain as we get older, medical issues aside, is because we are eating more than our activity levels.
You have already got clearance from your doctor, and have pinpointed that your daily activity is lower than it used to be, and because of stress (sorry about all of that) your eating habits have changed and you calorie input is higher than it use to be.
Start logging accurately, using a digital food scale, at a reasonable deficit. 1lbs a week is good for a 40lbs loss.
Up your daily activity, not exercise, just how much you move in a day. This is where we naturally start slowing down as we age.
I use to wait until I have a few things to take to one part of the house from another, now I am back to taking things individually, like I use to when I was younger. I will walk daily to pick up the odd thing needed for a recipe, rather than shop for everything once a week in the car. Again, back to when I was young and couldn't afford a car.
It is these little things in daily movement that really start to add up, even when you have your lifestyle as sedentary.
Exercise is just great for your health. Try to do both resistance and cardio for the different benefits they both offer, but do make sure you eat back your exercise calories. MFP does not include these in your base goal and expects exercise to be logged and eaten back.
Because it is hard for any exercise service or website to be accurate for an individuals calorie burn, try eating back 50 or 75% and adjust after a few weeks so you are losing at your goal.
As for 'diet' eat what foods you like at times you like. Nutrition is important, start with the foods you eat and if you need to try to adjust your foods over time so you are at least getting your minimums in protein and fat.
Once you have all your ducks in a row, losing weight at any age happens the same way.
I lost 30lbs at a menopausal 54 and have kept it off for 7 years. It was slow because I had little to lose, but it would have been the same if I was 24.
Cheers, h.
ETA. All the points you bring up can be overcome by good medical monitoring, a calorie deficit, daily activity, and exercise.5 -
Sheesh you've had a tough time. Your resilience is to be commended though. I love the work by Dr Libby, she's really insightful about health issues facing women particularly - you might find something of interest in her work about hormones etc https://drlibby.com/blog/0
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Try not to be discouraged as it is early days yet.
Don't believe click bait articles about weight gain/loss, don't do fad diets/pills/detoxes/cleanses etc etc.
Make sure to use digital scales that are set to grams and weigh everything you are eating.
Continue on with whatever exercise you enjoy but don't flog yourself, you may injure yourself given your past ill-health. As for the exercise calories MFP is quite generous so try eating only a portion of them back (this may be masking weight loss along with fluid retention from a new exercise routine).
Try to be patient, harder said than done but you have never suffered with weight issues before and you aren't likely to suddenly get an attack of bad family genetics that prevents you from losing weight. What you are dealing with though I would imagine is a huge overload of cortisol and this can mess with weight loss so use this time effectively to deal with stress, tension etc.
You sound as though you have gone through the mill over the past few years and that does take a toll on us physically and mentally. I would suggest that you look at losing weight, eating well and exercise as your commitment to helping yourself, a time for nurturing and regaining your confidence.
Perhaps too revisit your Dr. and ask for more tests, rule out any medical reasons as to your hair loss etc, perhaps get vitamin levels checked as well.
I lost weight at 48 years and have kept it off for 4 years. MFP works, the maths of CI-CO does work for everyone even if little tweaks at either end of the equation need to be made.
I wonder wether you are feeling terribly vulnerable, tired and not very strong in yourself; life has handed you some immense challenges, I know that I too would feel blindsided and unsure, at least in the beginning. But look at it this way; you have triumphed, despite awful *kitten* happening and life throwing bricks at you over and over you have come out the other side. That takes guts and determination. You are stronger than you realise.
All the very best.
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middlehaitch wrote: »Most of the problems with weight gain as we get older, medical issues aside, is because we are eating more than our activity levels.
You have already got clearance from your doctor, and have pinpointed that your daily activity is lower than it used to be, and because of stress (sorry about all of that) your eating habits have changed and you calorie input is higher than it use to be.
Start logging accurately, using a digital food scale, at a reasonable deficit. 1lbs a week is good for a 40lbs loss.
Up your daily activity, not exercise, just how much you move in a day. This is where we naturally start slowing down as we age.
I use to wait until I have a few things to take to one part of the house from another, now I am back to taking things individually, like I use to when I was younger. I will walk daily to pick up the odd thing needed for a recipe, rather than shop for everything once a week in the car. Again, back to when I was young and couldn't afford a car.
It is these little things in daily movement that really start to add up, even when you have your lifestyle as sedentary.
Exercise is just great for your health. Try to do both resistance and cardio for the different benefits they both offer, but do make sure you eat back your exercise calories. MFP does not include these in your base goal and expects exercise to be logged and eaten back.
Because it is hard for any exercise service or website to be accurate for an individuals calorie burn, try eating back 50 or 75% and adjust after a few weeks so you are losing at your goal.
As for 'diet' eat what foods you like at times you like. Nutrition is important, start with the foods you eat and if you need to try to adjust your foods over time so you are at least getting your minimums in protein and fat.
Once you have all your ducks in a row, losing weight at any age happens the same way.
I lost 30lbs at a menopausal 54 and have kept it off for 7 years. It was slow because I had little to lose, but it would have been the same if I was 24.
Cheers, h.
ETA. All the points you bring up can be overcome by good medical monitoring, a calorie deficit, daily activity, and exercise.
Thank you so much for the great advice -- you are basically echoing what I have been HOPING will work. I just want to know that it is possible.
I am going to keep at it, even thought I have not seen any progress yet.
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HippySkoppy wrote: »Try not to be discouraged as it is early days yet.
Don't believe click bait articles about weight gain/loss, don't do fad diets/pills/detoxes/cleanses etc etc.
Make sure to use digital scales that are set to grams and weigh everything you are eating.
Continue on with whatever exercise you enjoy but don't flog yourself, you may injure yourself given your past ill-health. As for the exercise calories MFP is quite generous so try eating only a portion of them back (this may be masking weight loss along with fluid retention from a new exercise routine).
Try to be patient, harder said than done but you have never suffered with weight issues before and you aren't likely to suddenly get an attack of bad family genetics that prevents you from losing weight. What you are dealing with though I would imagine is a huge overload of cortisol and this can mess with weight loss so use this time effectively to deal with stress, tension etc.
You sound as though you have gone through the mill over the past few years and that does take a toll on us physically and mentally. I would suggest that you look at losing weight, eating well and exercise as your commitment to helping yourself, a time for nurturing and regaining your confidence.
Perhaps too revisit your Dr. and ask for more tests, rule out any medical reasons as to your hair loss etc, perhaps get vitamin levels checked as well.
I lost weight at 48 years and have kept it off for 4 years. MFP works, the maths of CI-CO does work for everyone even if little tweaks at either end of the equation need to be made.
I wonder wether you are feeling terribly vulnerable, tired and not very strong in yourself; life has handed you some immense challenges, I know that I too would feel blindsided and unsure, at least in the beginning. But look at it this way; you have triumphed, despite awful *kitten* happening and life throwing bricks at you over and over you have come out the other side. That takes guts and determination. You are stronger than you realise.
All the very best.
thank you for the message and kind words.
I think one of the reasons I got discouraged is that the articles I read were not click-baity; in fact they were the opposite. They were soberly acknowledging how much more difficult it is for women to lose weight in their 40's as opposed to their 30's for a number of reasons that are out of our control. Changing hormones, lack of estrogen, our difficulty to put on and keep muscle mass, metabolism that declines 5% every decade, high cortisol levels to due increased stress, and genetics.
My main takeaway from the articles was that what has worked for me in the past simply won't cut it any more. But since I have worked out hard my whole life, I just don't think it's possible work out even harder (and longer) now, on the heels of surgeries, injuries and the rest. What I am going to do is make sure to incorporate weight-lifting into my program. I used to love it but it's one of the things that fell by the wayside these past years.
I really loved your advice about looking at this time in terms of a new commitment to myself. And your last paragraph made me tear up -- that is exactly how I feel.
Anyway, thank you for the encouragement and for sharing your success story
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I'm 62. You can do this. I used to jog, then developed foot problems so took up stationary bike riding. My calories are set to 1200 and I eat back about half my exercise calories. When I stick to my calorie goal, I lose. When I eat more than 1200 I don't (plus half my exercise calories).
You'll start to get a feel for your body and calorie needs. As you do, you can reduce your calories till you start losing. I have no doubt any person, of any age, can lose weight. Just stick with it, weigh your food, and cut back on exercise calories since MFP seems to inflate those numbers.1 -
fiddletime wrote: »I'm 62. You can do this. I used to jog, then developed foot problems so took up stationary bike riding. My calories are set to 1200 and I eat back about half my exercise calories. When I stick to my calorie goal, I lose. When I eat more than 1200 I don't (plus half my exercise calories).
You'll start to get a feel for your body and calorie needs. As you do, you can reduce your calories till you start losing. I have no doubt any person, of any age, can lose weight. Just stick with it, weigh your food, and cut back on exercise calories since MFP seems to inflate those numbers.
You are an inspiration!!0 -
I lost like 35 pounds in my 40s. I'm not going to lie and say it's not harder now than it is when you're 20, but I don't think it's because of hormones, it's because - between lower energy levels and a fuller day - I don't move as much now as I did then, either in terms of deliberate exercise or just normal daily movement, and I also don't cook as much. That's true for a lot of people. Their energy levels drop and they slow down. Moving weights around or playing sports becomes harder, so they stop doing it. I doubt hormones help, exactly, but I think their effect on women's weight is probably overstated.
You said all the women on your mother's side have struggled with weight issues all their lives. Most of the women on my mother's side have too. But you haven't, so whatever genetic bullet hit them, you've already dodged it; it's not going to suddenly hit you at 45.2 -
I lost 60 pounds in my early 40s and have maintained the loss for a couple years now. I don't know if it's harder or not (as I didn't try then), but it seems many who found it "easy" to lose weight in their younger days are back now doing it again. In fact, some for the third, fourth, fifth time. Maybe being easy isn't always a good thing? Stick with it, you can do it - even in your 40s with overweight relatives.
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I'm sorry for your struggles. You've had some tough times. But, I don't believe you are doomed. My father is sedentary & obese, my mother is sedentary and overweight. They each have health issues related to their sedentary lifestyles. I chose to be active & healthy.
I'm 48 and fit and I love my active lifestyle. I chose it and I'm in very good shape, best in my adult life. I got pregnant at 42 & packed on some lbs but it all came off and then some because I worked for it. It does come down to daily activity and choices.1 -
Don't underestimate the havoc stress can take on you, physically, mentally and emotionally.
Go easy on yourself, life has kicked your *kitten* for a few years now. There is no time limit, start to focus on your mental and physical well being. Take it slow, you're not a failure, your priorities changed for a while. Now you can make yourself and your health a priority again.
Stress releases adrenalin, adrenalin causes a surge in insulin, makes you crave sugary food and so it goes.
Slow and steady is the best pace, be kind and gentle to yourself, stop beating yourself up. Read back over what you wrote, that would knock the stuffing out of anyone.
Like you I also had a couple of *kitten* years where life kicked my *kitten*, money worries, bereavement, cancer, stillbirth. I spent 3 years sitting on the sofa eating and drinking because I had zero motivation to do anything else. I started doing yoga, walking, meditating etc, just focusing on feeling better in myself, I gave myself time and permission to get over those things. Slowly and surely as my mental state improved and became stronger I became more able to focus on losing the weight and getting fit again. The mind leads and the body follows.
Stressing about the weight is more stress on top of what you've already dealt with. Focus on finding the calm and inner peace, it has to come from a place of self care and love. The rest is simple, calories in v calories out and any type of exercise you enjoy.
Sorry for the rambling post!
Just my tuppence worth, I wish you well.3 -
skellymama1 wrote: »Don't underestimate the havoc stress can take on you, physically, mentally and emotionally.
Go easy on yourself, life has kicked your *kitten* for a few years now. There is no time limit, start to focus on your mental and physical well being. Take it slow, you're not a failure, your priorities changed for a while. Now you can make yourself and your health a priority again.
Stress releases adrenalin, adrenalin causes a surge in insulin, makes you crave sugary food and so it goes.
Slow and steady is the best pace, be kind and gentle to yourself, stop beating yourself up. Read back over what you wrote, that would knock the stuffing out of anyone.
Like you I also had a couple of *kitten* years where life kicked my *kitten*, money worries, bereavement, cancer, stillbirth. I spent 3 years sitting on the sofa eating and drinking because I had zero motivation to do anything else. I started doing yoga, walking, meditating etc, just focusing on feeling better in myself, I gave myself time and permission to get over those things. Slowly and surely as my mental state improved and became stronger I became more able to focus on losing the weight and getting fit again. The mind leads and the body follows.
Stressing about the weight is more stress on top of what you've already dealt with. Focus on finding the calm and inner peace, it has to come from a place of self care and love. The rest is simple, calories in v calories out and any type of exercise you enjoy.
Sorry for the rambling post!
Just my tuppence worth, I wish you well.
This is the most wonderful advice, and brought me to tears. I'm sorry for all that you have gone through, but so grateful that you shared your thoughts with me.1 -
I'm 46 and I think my hormones are really working against me. I'm doing the same things I did a couple years ago to successfully lose a significant amount of weight but it isn't budging this time. I'm barely maintaining on calories that should cause weight loss. My weight also fluctuates wildly. I jump up by 2-3 pounds over night and then it goes back down, till a few days later it jumps back up. I think it's just my body going through big changes. The best thing to do is to try and keep eating healthy and remain physically active. Don't beat yourself up over it. Focus on being healthy over being skinny. Maybe in a year or two this change will be over then I have no idea what to expect from my body after then. Haha! Being a woman isn't easy. Be good to yourself.1
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That rawness you're feeling may be the return of emotions you've been shoving down to get through the hard times. Say hi to them as you pass them by. Doubt means you care. Fear means you know what you want--and more importantly, what you don't. You're doing a great job getting on top of this, you've made a great start and should continue! All the best to you, you can do it! You aren't alone. 2
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tabletop_joe wrote: »That rawness you're feeling may be the return of emotions you've been shoving down to get through the hard times. Say hi to them as you pass them by. Doubt means you care. Fear means you know what you want--and more importantly, what you don't. You're doing a great job getting on top of this, you've made a great start and should continue! All the best to you, you can do it! You aren't alone.
You are so kind - thank you for the nice response!1
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