I'm afraid of being stronger than men.
xtxtxtx
Posts: 83 Member
I'm female obviously. I recently started strength training after making tons of excuses not to haha. Guess what? I love it!!! LOVE it! It feels great and I'm looking great, and I love the whole lifestyle!
However, I do have this nagging fear of like, being stronger than men. Wouldn't that severely limit my dating pool? Because personally, I wouldn't want to date a man weaker than me. The guy I'm currently somewhat interested in doesn't have any muscle and I feel like now that I'm into lifting squatting and pressing, he's pretty much off the table. I feel like I need a guy who lifts, but I don't know ANY. What should I do?
PS I know people will call me superficial but I can't help but love a big strong man. it's some primal instinct in me.
However, I do have this nagging fear of like, being stronger than men. Wouldn't that severely limit my dating pool? Because personally, I wouldn't want to date a man weaker than me. The guy I'm currently somewhat interested in doesn't have any muscle and I feel like now that I'm into lifting squatting and pressing, he's pretty much off the table. I feel like I need a guy who lifts, but I don't know ANY. What should I do?
PS I know people will call me superficial but I can't help but love a big strong man. it's some primal instinct in me.
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Replies
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I lift weights. I love it. My husband virtually runs screaming away from the mere mention of weight lifting. However he is still stronger than me and probably always will be. There is some part of me that is drawn to my big strong tradie.
It takes a fair while to really really build up your strength to the point of being stronger than most men. Try not to stress about it too much. Enjoy lifting and enjoy life. If you're going to let the fact that he is not very muscular turn you off, then he probably isn't the one for you anyway.8 -
Are there no men at your gym? They lift, don't they?
If you associate with like minded people, with similar hobbies, you'll meet people who enjoy similar things to you. Perhaps join a different gym with a focus on powerlifting or bodybuilding...
Or, get the guy you like in to training. I know plenty of couples who train together, and one of the pair has started because of the other. I started training because my now husband did...0 -
livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Are there no men at your gym? They lift, don't they?
If you associate with like minded people, with similar hobbies, you'll meet people who enjoy similar things to you. Perhaps join a different gym with a focus on powerlifting or bodybuilding...
Or, get the guy you like in to training. I know plenty of couples who train together, and one of the pair has started because of the other. I started training because my now husband did...
I never know how to approach the guys at the gym. They're busy working out I don't wanna bother them
heh..:/ 0 -
livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Are there no men at your gym? They lift, don't they?
If you associate with like minded people, with similar hobbies, you'll meet people who enjoy similar things to you. Perhaps join a different gym with a focus on powerlifting or bodybuilding...
Or, get the guy you like in to training. I know plenty of couples who train together, and one of the pair has started because of the other. I started training because my now husband did...
I never know how to approach the guys at the gym. They're busy working out I don't wanna bother them heh..:/
I'm sure they rest in between sets. Maybe ask for some tips, or a spot
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Wouldn't that severely limit my dating pool?
well, i guess . . . but if strength is one of your dealbreakers i can't say i see how that's such a bad thing. to be brutal about it because i am tired and can't word, you'd end up rejecting them anyway, right? so i don't see how it matters if they never get into your pool to start with. saves you trouble and saves a lot of probably-perfectly-nice men some distress.I never know how to approach the guys at the gym. They're busy working out I don't wanna bother them heh..:/
not my business, but is it critically necessary that you need to approach them Right Now? what comes to my mind is that if you love lifting and you're always going to be int he gym anyway, the only reason why this would matter would be if it was. otherwise, time and familiarity just naturally seems to create 'relationships' between regulars. by relationship i dont' mean a dating thing, but people get to know each other.
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If you already go for big strong men, I promise you it will be a long, long time before you are stronger than them.16
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Maybe, then again it may bring in some focus.Wouldn't that severely limit my dating pool?
And just for the record not all men are intimidated by strong women. Also people can have muscle tone without living. My husband is a runner, not much in they way of weight lifting, but when he is in his running shape he definitely has muscle on him.2 -
A man who never lifts, on average, is stronger than a woman who does, also in average. You would need to be at it for long with pretty nice gains to "outstrength" your average pool of men, so you won't have to worry about that for a good while.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/847768312 -
I'm female obviously. I recently started strength training after making tons of excuses not to haha. Guess what? I love it!!! LOVE it! It feels great and I'm looking great, and I love the whole lifestyle!
However, I do have this nagging fear of like, being stronger than men. Wouldn't that severely limit my dating pool? Because personally, I wouldn't want to date a man weaker than me. The guy I'm currently somewhat interested in doesn't have any muscle and I feel like now that I'm into lifting squatting and pressing, he's pretty much off the table. I feel like I need a guy who lifts, but I don't know ANY. What should I do?
PS I know people will call me superficial but I can't help but love a big strong man. it's some primal instinct in me.
How will you know how strong they are? Will you ask them how much they deadlift on the first date?22 -
I've seen smaller looking men far out lift men who looked bigger.
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The only thing that's narrowing down your dating options is you... lifting doesn't 'take anyone off the table', you either like someone or you don't. Try going for not your normal, you might surprise yourself. My preferred partners have something that my current partner doesn't, and we're 10 years in to this relationship... can't be that bad!11
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Ask them to spot you while you are bench pressing - that will give you an idea if they are big and strong men.4
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Oh good lord.
You are unlikely to be stronger than that many men at this point. Your dating pool is wide open. Believe me, there are plenty of men who do not lift who are and forever will be stronger than you.
I'm a huge fan of strength training but the idea that I'm even close to as strong as my husband is laughable. He'll readily admit that I can outsquat him (and I have a relatively puny squat) since that something he never does but he is 6'2" and 225 lbs and can out-strength me on anything.15 -
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In college, I loved being stronger than men. It was a fun party trick to put someone on your back and squat them with a beer in your hand. I also got laid a lot.26
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And that's a bad thing?4
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My thoughts have always been, if a man is intimidated by your strength, then you should both see other women. Lol.15
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Weight lifting shows a level of dedication and accomplishment. Being attracted to that is definitely NOT superficial.
You rock, and don't settle for someone that doesn't (in your eyes.)
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You should incorporate arm wrestling on first date. If you win, no second date.
Problem solved.
You're welcome.24 -
gamerbabe14 wrote: »In college, I loved being stronger than men. It was a fun party trick to put someone on your back and squat them with a beer in your hand. I also got laid a lot.
I love your posts! You always make me giggle!3 -
livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Are there no men at your gym? They lift, don't they?
If you associate with like minded people, with similar hobbies, you'll meet people who enjoy similar things to you. Perhaps join a different gym with a focus on powerlifting or bodybuilding...
This was my thought. I'm happily married (19 years) to a guy who lifts, but if I wanted to find a date at my gym, I think I easily could (that sounds vain
). 5 -
Or wear crazy high heels and ask him to carry you at the end of the night. If he can't then just hobble off to a cab and go your separate way.3
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quiksylver296 wrote: »livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Are there no men at your gym? They lift, don't they?
If you associate with like minded people, with similar hobbies, you'll meet people who enjoy similar things to you. Perhaps join a different gym with a focus on powerlifting or bodybuilding...
This was my thought. I'm happily married (19 years) to a guy who lifts, but if I wanted to find a date at my gym, I think I easily could (that sounds vain ).
Men and women 3 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »livingleanlivingclean wrote: »Are there no men at your gym? They lift, don't they?
If you associate with like minded people, with similar hobbies, you'll meet people who enjoy similar things to you. Perhaps join a different gym with a focus on powerlifting or bodybuilding...
This was my thought. I'm happily married (19 years) to a guy who lifts, but if I wanted to find a date at my gym, I think I easily could (that sounds vain ).
Men and women
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Weight lifting shows a level of dedication and accomplishment. Being attracted to that is definitely NOT superficial.
You rock, and don't settle for someone that doesn't (in your eyes.)
I don't entirely agree with this. Dedication and accomplishment is something to be judged after the first date. Someone could be dedicated and accomplished in other areas but simply have no interest in this particular activity, or they could be a lifter who happens to be a lifter just because they are a control freak. Although having preferences (including aesthetic) is normal, choice of activity says little about a person.7 -
Never, ever dumb down for a man. Do your thing and the right man will come along!8
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Seriously? If you really want to meet lots of men who will be stronger than you, get yourself into the strength sports.4
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Rephrase your thoughts. "I'm afraid of being the best version of myself that I can be because of what other people might think." It sounds kinda silly when you put it like that, doesn't it?13
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If you're stronger than a potential mate, then you need to move on to someone else.
I have seen some very attractive girls incline pressing with 35-45lbs dumbells. Michelle Obama used 45lbs. Unfortunately, a lot of guys struggle with that weight on an incline press.
Women who lift and don't take hormones have the best bodies and overall aesthetic in my eyes.1
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