Frustrated by comments

Remember that most people don't do what you are doing - take control of their weight, their diet, their health. They see it as at the very least terribly difficult if not impossible. To most people losing 20 lbs. might as well be taking a trip to the moon. However, you know what you are doing...you have this under control. You know that 20 lbs. is not an unreasonable goal for you. The people that say you can't or shouldn't do it just are living in the same place as you are now. So...they don't know what they are talking about.

They may not think they are being negative. They may think they are helping you "be ok with how you are." I don't think your goal is unreasonable. That's about where I want to be, actually. Some of them might be jealous that you have that as an option and the only way for them to cope it to tell you it isn't necessary. And also, until someone has read your food diary every day for a month, they have no room to say you are being unhealthy. Only you know whether you are being unhealthy or not. I would say most people probably think they are being helpful by saying your weight is fine where it is. Now, it would be completely different if you had told the whole world you couldn't weight to get down to 80lbs....

You can get to your goal weight, and you will be healthy doing it!

Have a wonderful day!

I can't really say what weight is right for you i think only you can tell hopefully you'lll realise when enough is enough.As for these comments i think people are either unknowledgable (if thats a word?) or jealous if its your tummy area maybe more toning would be the answer anyway from me keep up the great work and don't listen to negative comment or opinions x

I don't think it is unrealistic. In order to avoid comments, though, when people ask how much you still plan to lose, just say you aren't sure and you'll know it when you see it.

Excellent advice.


Instead of interpreting it as jealousy or criticism, just think "these are people who care about me. They want me to be healthy and strong." That's not a bad thing. It's also not a bad thing that they obviously think you look good as you are. Maybe that's because you do look good (which you do), or just because they're used to seeing you that way, or because they don't judge you as harshly as you judge yourself.

I'm 5'5 and currently about 130. I was a skinny as a kid and through my early 20s, never getting above 115 or so. Even as I gained weight, my family still saw me as The Skinny One. If I said anything about losing weight, even at 160, they'd say, "You look great! What are you talking about?!" So I just approached it from a fitness point of view. I wanted to be healthier and stronger, and it didn't matter to me too much what the scale said.

Similarly, a few years ago, my niece lost weight before her wedding, going from a size 12 to a size 4. I saw her regularly, and didn't notice she'd lost weight, and especially that much, until I saw her in a little strapless minidress at her bridal shower. Even then, I thought, "Wow, she looks awesome!" but I wouldn't have guessed she shrank that much until I found out she needed a whole new wedding dress because her size change so drastically. She's someone I love, and as such, I looked at her with rose colored glasses. If she told me she wanted to lose weight, I'd have automatically said, "But you're GORGEOUS! Just the way you are!" It wasn't jealousy or criticism. It was seeing her as a total package, not judging her size.

I get the same thing when I say I want to get down to 120 again at 5'1". I think the standards of being "healthy" are very skewed in society today. If you don't have rolls then there you must be fit (at least that's what I feel like when people react). I really am trying to improve my overall health (endurance, toning, and weight etc.) Just because I don't look overweight doesn't mean I'm healthy. It's very frustrating to deal with.

YOU know what feels good because you've been there. If that is YOUR goal, go for it! People will always have their own opinions, but most should keep them to themselves.

Let them have their opinions only yours really matter, I get the same even though I know I have 20 pounds + to go.

Only you can be the judge of what is right for you.

Just ignore them! I'm 5'7 and weight 132. I am trying to get to 125 - as most of my 20's and 30's I was in that range. Everyone knows what works best for them, and them alone. I wish you much success on reaching your goal!