How to get rid of that 'binge' mindset
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hollyfoord
Posts: 30 Member
It's like it's all or nothing and there's no middle ground...Even with healthy foods! It's like my brain is programmed to not enjoy something unless I can gorge myself on it, which I KNOW is unhealthy. Is it really just practicing mind over matter? It seems impossible. Any tips? Mantras? Magic solutions? It's especially bad with 'bad' foods because my brain goes 'well if you're eating like crap anyway you might as well go completely overboard'. So rather than enjoying something in moderation, my mind makes the food 'bad' because I eat too much of it. Then I become afraid of it and hate myself for eating that food (pizza, cake, whatever...). I'm so tired of being scared of food because I feel like I can't control myself.
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Replies
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With the help of a therapist?3
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I only buy very small portions of the food I want to limit. I always have a ton of carrots and celery in my fridge. I also try to keep it positive. Food is fuel. It is not bad nor good.0
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Maybe try figuring out WHY you think you need to gorge on it. I know for me, part of my issue was a feeling I might not get to have this again so I must eat as much as I can now. It wasn't rational, but I think it came from growing up with a mom who went on a health food kick and banned sweets from the house. I can still remember her taking away the little bag of candy my grandma had given me before we even pulled out of grandma's driveway. Once I learned to tell myself that I don't have to eat it all now - I can always have some later, it was much easier to regulate how much and even so no entirely.5
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Well, first you need to figure out the underlining issue. You are probably not binging because you are hungry or just love the taste of food as you admit to not taking the time to enjoy it. You can't treat the effect (binge) if you don't you know what the cause is. It could be your diet (high sugar / high card for example will leave you craving more when you get the sugar crash). It could be you are dehydrated (drink water instead of soda/juices (no sugar crash afterwards). It could be some medical condition. Maybe start with some professional help--get a checkup with your doctor, talk to a nutritionist about your diet or even a therapist if the issue is emotional eating or some other problem.2
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Each moment is a new decision.
Think of food like money. If you overspend a bit, do you then go ahead and buy everything that you can fit into the car no matter how much it costs? I would like to be a billionaire so that I could throw money around and buy anything I want at will. I can't do that because I don't have a bottomless bucket of money and there are consequences if I spend more than I should. I had to learn to live within my money budget if I didn't want to go bankrupt. I also had to learn to live within my calorie budget if I wanted to lose weight and then have any hope of keeping it off.
I log everything that has calories before I consume it. That gives me the chance to decide if I really want to consume those calories and, if so, how many calories I want to "spend" right then.
Changing behavior takes time. Do a little better every day and you'll get there eventually.9 -
hollyfoord wrote: »It's like it's all or nothing and there's no middle ground...Even with healthy foods! It's like my brain is programmed to not enjoy something unless I can gorge myself on it, which I KNOW is unhealthy. Is it really just practicing mind over matter? It seems impossible. Any tips? Mantras? Magic solutions? It's especially bad with 'bad' foods because my brain goes 'well if you're eating like crap anyway you might as well go completely overboard'. So rather than enjoying something in moderation, my mind makes the food 'bad' because I eat too much of it. Then I become afraid of it and hate myself for eating that food (pizza, cake, whatever...). I'm so tired of being scared of food because I feel like I can't control myself.
This sounds like an eating disorder. I say that because I have had one (possibly two...). There are NO bad foods. You need to remember that first. If you learn no foods are bad you won't feel bad about yourself. If you are anything like me maybe it is possible you are feeling like I did? I would put myself down in my head and I felt like I didn't *deserve* to lose weight... "You're eating like a pig and can't stop eating this *junk* so you may as well just keep eating....you don't deserve to succeed anyway" I would literally eat and then cry and hate myself. Probably worse than what youre thinking but the same idea that hey if youre going to be a screw up may as well give up. Dont do that to yourself. You CAN have a slice of pizza or even two. Fit it in your daily calories. My solution has been to fill up my stomach BEFORE I eat by drinking a full bottle OR two of water before eating. It sounds weird but it worked for me. I also like diet Dr. Pepper now (I thought I hated all diet soda but I dont taste an aftertaste with diet dr pepper or diet dr pepper cherry). Sometimes I drink that before a meal as well. Other than that really just work on the thought process. It really is mind over matter. Remember that you can have the foods and instead of thinking enjoying = gorging try pre-planning your food and look forward to your meals as if they are an enjoyable event you will have later. Then maybe the meal itself will become a reward enough and you won't need to over-eat. That's what I do now. I think man that slice or 2 slices of pizza or that bowl of pasta will be very good later! Then when I make it I won't feel like I need to over eat because I am just focused on how good what I already have is. Pre-planning is a life saver for me.5 -
It's a mountain to climb. First step is deciding you actually do want to climb it. You have to want the healthy changes more than you want the immediate satisfaction of gorging yourself. I have always had the same mindset you have now. The change was internal. I just have had enough of being unhappy. I'm aggressively pursuing my goals. There is no room for what I WANT, only room for the fuel my body NEEDS. I treat myself how I would a child, a child doesn't necessarily know broccoli is a better choice for their health than a bowl of ice cream they need to be told this and provided healthy options right? So I pre plan all my meals and to make the easy it's the same stuff most days. Is it fun? Not really... But for me personally it can't be fun because food has always been about eating for my feelings/desires not for my actual needs. I've needed to cut the emotional connection to food. I have turned my food mindset to "food is fuel"
There will be occasional deviations because that's what makes life enjoyable, a night out for a burger, a holiday with family, but the bottom line is deciding you want a properly fueled body and chosing the foods that do that. I've also made sure to get more active because it makes my body's needs a little more apparent to me. I am trying to think of myself like an athlete even though I surely don't qualify as one but if you read interviews with atheletes you see how rigorous their training AND diets are, and those healthy fuel filled diets are how theyre successful.
I just can't think about what I'd like to eat, I need to think about what the body I care for and want to improve needs. Is it magic? No. It's constant attention, planning ahead, and never letting my desires run the show. It's hard as heck but I imagine myself fighting for the life and body I want. It's a battle and I'm going to win, even if it means mourning how I used to eat. I miss it but it was never worth what I've done to myself. I will never look normal I will now permanently have lose skin, still won't ever wear a bikini because I chose to eat whatever I wanted for too long. I simply won't stand to live in this body the way it is any longer, it's a determination that's unshakable. Not motivated. I'm determined.12 -
brb, your post helped me, thank you.
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By identifying the underlying issue and dealing with that...0
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It's a mountain to climb. First step is deciding you actually do want to climb it. You have to want the healthy changes more than you want the immediate satisfaction of gorging yourself. I have always had the same mindset you have now. The change was internal. I just have had enough of being unhappy. I'm aggressively pursuing my goals. There is no room for what I WANT, only room for the fuel my body NEEDS. I treat myself how I would a child, a child doesn't necessarily know broccoli is a better choice for their health than a bowl of ice cream they need to be told this and provided healthy options right? So I pre plan all my meals and to make the easy it's the same stuff most days. Is it fun? Not really... But for me personally it can't be fun because food has always been about eating for my feelings/desires not for my actual needs. I've needed to cut the emotional connection to food. I have turned my food mindset to "food is fuel"
There will be occasional deviations because that's what makes life enjoyable, a night out for a burger, a holiday with family, but the bottom line is deciding you want a properly fueled body and chosing the foods that do that. I've also made sure to get more active because it makes my body's needs a little more apparent to me. I am trying to think of myself like an athlete even though I surely don't qualify as one but if you read interviews with atheletes you see how rigorous their training AND diets are, and those healthy fuel filled diets are how theyre successful.
I just can't think about what I'd like to eat, I need to think about what the body I care for and want to improve needs. Is it magic? No. It's constant attention, planning ahead, and never letting my desires run the show. It's hard as heck but I imagine myself fighting for the life and body I want. It's a battle and I'm going to win, even if it means mourning how I used to eat. I miss it but it was never worth what I've done to myself. I will never look normal I will now permanently have lose skin, still won't ever wear a bikini because I chose to eat whatever I wanted for too long. I simply won't stand to live in this body the way it is any longer, it's a determination that's unshakable. Not motivated. I'm determined.
This is EXACTLY it, right here. It's like I could have written this myself, I can relate to every single thing you said. This is what enabled me to be successful with taking control of my disordered eating habits and in my weight loss. Very wise words here!4 -
This! Gum and diet soda when I want to eat because Im bored! Apple or pear if I still have calories to play with. Works great!zachbonner_ wrote: »its mind over matter. dont buy "bad foods" if you binge them. go do something else when you feel a binge coming on too
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hollyfoord wrote: »It's like it's all or nothing and there's no middle ground...Even with healthy foods! It's like my brain is programmed to not enjoy something unless I can gorge myself on it, which I KNOW is unhealthy. Is it really just practicing mind over matter? It seems impossible. Any tips? Mantras? Magic solutions? It's especially bad with 'bad' foods because my brain goes 'well if you're eating like crap anyway you might as well go completely overboard'. So rather than enjoying something in moderation, my mind makes the food 'bad' because I eat too much of it. Then I become afraid of it and hate myself for eating that food (pizza, cake, whatever...). I'm so tired of being scared of food because I feel like I can't control myself.
You mentioned "bad foods"
I believe very very very strongly that the reason I was 250 - 270lbs for my entire adult life was because I put a moralistic value on food.
I ditched THAT mindset, worked on loving myself and fueling my body and am down 85 lbs.
You can DO this3 -
I've had lots of days when I binge on what's in the house. Really, you can only do so much damage with yogurt, protein shakes, berries, Halo Top, etc. Keep the Twinkies and Peanut butter out of the house until you get in under control. I'm still learning, but I try to catch myself in the moment and talk myself down. Not always successful, but it's getting better.0
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Therapeutic and mediation practices will definitely be your long term solution but in the meantime, look into calorie density and SOS free eating. You can just do SOS free for 14 days and it usually will totally reset your tastebuds. That's my personal experience but I'm not saying everyone needs to go that far of course0
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Maybe try figuring out WHY you think you need to gorge on it. I know for me, part of my issue was a feeling I might not get to have this again so I must eat as much as I can now. It wasn't rational, but I think it came from growing up with a mom who went on a health food kick and banned sweets from the house. I can still remember her taking away the little bag of candy my grandma had given me before we even pulled out of grandma's driveway. Once I learned to tell myself that I don't have to eat it all now - I can always have some later, it was much easier to regulate how much and even so no entirely.
I think this is sort of why I do this too. No one banned sweets from me but I grew up very poor with 5 younger siblings. We had food but we didn't have extra and we rarely had snacks or treats. I was taught to never take the last piece of anything because my younger siblings might want it. I remember going to other people's houses and being amazed that they had things like an open bag of chips or crackers in their cupboards because that stuff lasted 30 seconds at my house. It was so odd to me that they didn't finish the bag.
Then I started dating my husband and he was taking me out to eat all the time and buying me sweets. We got married and he used to laugh at me for literally licking my plate clean every night (embarrassing). It was like suddenly I could eat whatever I wanted and however much I wanted! And I did...
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Check out Eric's (Powered By Ice Cream) YouTube channel. He's recovered from BED. His nugget for binge-eating:
"The first bite tastes the same as the last."
Very true.3 -
IMHO is a bad habit that each time you do it again you make it stronger, just STOP doing it, be willing to resist the "discomfort" and each time you do it, its going to be easier to ignore the urge, it will take time and a lot of effort, but if you want to be free, there's no way around it...Good luck!1
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Lots of good advice here. I'm now aggressively pre-planning my meals with the MFP diary & creating 'menus' for the week. I even managed to fit in a frozen yogurt for today at the movies with some creativity
My food diary is open if anyone wants to critique. Thanks all! 2
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