Miserable and can't stop eating
Sharl00781
Posts: 2 Member
I need to lose a stone but I just can't stop eating. It's the usual story. Comforting myself with food when bored, stressed, anxious etc. After two years I've put on a stone and on my 5ft frame. It definitely shows. I should be 8st but I'm 9st. I've tried (what feels like everything) calorie counting, intermittent fasting, high protein etc. But I end up 'treating myself' or giving in to a need to comfort myself with food because I feel deprived or whatever other excuse I've told myself. I don't know what I'm asking. I just feel so fed up at my own failure. Im appalled that I can't stop shovling food in. I don't know what to do.
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Replies
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You should talk to your doctor because it seems like there is a mental health issue involved and attempting to diet is not going to help that. If you are an emotional eater and can not find other ways to cope with the mental health issues causing you to overeat you won't be able to become healthy.7
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What are you doing when you try to lose weight? If that makes you feel like you need to comfort yourself, try to do it sustainably: Eat enough - quality and quantity - eat food you like - don't cut out anything - don't eat anything you don't like - eat at intervals that fits your appetite and schedule. Use MFP correctly - set it up to lose the closest eqivalent of 1% of your body weight per week, weigh and log everything using real entries, hit your calorie goal every day. That's all it takes, but if you do this, you'll lose weight.5
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If stress and anxiety is making you overeat, the easiest way to get your eating under control is to get your stress and anxiety under control.
Negative self-talk feeds anxiety; positive self-talk relieves it, at least over time.5 -
Emotional eating is the hardest to conquer. I'm the same way. When I'm stressed or angry or upset, I go right for food.
I haven't figured out how to beat it yet but I'm having a good couple of weeks so... 
Maybe see if your health insurance covers a therapist? 1 -
kommodevaran wrote: »What are you doing when you try to lose weight? If that makes you feel like you need to comfort yourself, try to do it sustainably: Eat enough - quality and quantity - eat food you like - don't cut out anything - don't eat anything you don't like - eat at intervals that fits your appetite and schedule. Use MFP correctly - set it up to lose the closest eqivalent of 1% of your body weight per week, weigh and log everything using real entries, hit your calorie goal every day. That's all it takes, but if you do this, you'll lose weight.
To add to this excellent post.
You have a stone to lose, that is only 14 lbs. aim for .5 lbs a week. That is only 250 cals less than your maintenance and can be done by shaving portions of food you like.
One less glass of wine, or one less pop, or a smaller serving of potato/rice/pasta.
Don't stress it, log everything accurately for a week at maintenance, then shave. It here and there.
Cheers, h.8 -
Sharl00781 wrote: »I need to lose a stone but I just can't stop eating. It's the usual story. Comforting myself with food when bored, stressed, anxious etc. After two years I've put on a stone and on my 5ft frame. It definitely shows. I should be 8st but I'm 9st. I've tried (what feels like everything) calorie counting, intermittent fasting, high protein etc. But I end up 'treating myself' or giving in to a need to comfort myself with food because I feel deprived or whatever other excuse I've told myself. I don't know what I'm asking. I just feel so fed up at my own failure. Im appalled that I can't stop shovling food in. I don't know what to do.
Hi Sharl00781. I hardly ever reply to posts on here but yours really struck a nerve with me! I'm in exactly the same boat as you, but you know what, I'm over 8 lbs heavier than you and a tiny 5ft tall, and I definitely comfort eat. It's so hard to keep the weight off when you're short and it definitely shows more when you put on a few pounds. Should you really be 8st? Your weight changes as you get older and when you have kids etc, our bodies change. My happy weight is actually 9st (was 8st 7 when I was younger), so please don't be too hard on yourself. You're just not in the right mind set at the moment to diet, but you will get there (no need to run off to the doc's just yet for the Prozac) as some might suggest you need to. Do you take regular excercise? It really helps to boost your mood and rev up the metabolism a bit. That's what I'm trying to do at the moment.4 -
Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the super kind words and guidance. The advice from middlehaitch and kommodevaran really help. And actually cutting 250cals seems doable. I just feel out of control and then I behave for a few days or even a week and then for some reason self sabotage. I even know I'm doing it but it sort of feels like I'm weirdly punishing myself. Weirdo.
Shazland be my friend! Im aware I'm not the only one in this situation but it definitely feels like I'm the only one incapable of managing my feelings. I have started just going on the treadmill for twenty mins just to clear my head and give me an endorphin rush. Goal is to run a mile.8 -
Sharl00781 wrote: »Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the super kind words and guidance. The advice from middlehaitch and kommodevaran really help. And actually cutting 250cals seems doable. I just feel out of control and then I behave for a few days or even a week and then for some reason self sabotage. I even know I'm doing it but it sort of feels like I'm weirdly punishing myself. Weirdo.
Shazland be my friend! Im aware I'm not the only one in this situation but it definitely feels like I'm the only one incapable of managing my feelings. I have started just going on the treadmill for twenty mins just to clear my head and give me an endorphin rush. Goal is to run a mile.
First wanted to say I agree with everything already said and glad to see you taking it to heart.
Emotional and boredom eating can be very difficult for many people. It helps alot to fogure out your triggers and find a way to divert that to something else as you are with the treadmill. That is an excellent strategy.
In case your in a pickle for time, for quicker fixes some people find aromatherapy, meditation, or keeping peaceful/happy pictures on hand can help them snap out of a brief funk. Hope your able to sort it all out soon and go see a professional for help if you ever feel you need to.
~best wishes0 -
Even cutting 100 calories a day will do something. Slow progress but it is better to get to the finish line later than not get there at all.
I've also found that talking to someone about it really helped with my stress levels. And music. Putting on headphones and listening to music by myself is my meditation.3 -
I did behavior modification class at my endocrinologist. Food is fuel. Food will not comfort me. I have to self talk daily and take it one day at a time. I put things I can have readily available radishes celery raw veggies, I experiment and incorporate vegetables into every meal. I use the Greek 80 cal yogurt for my dessert, sugar free jello with fruit non dairy no sugar whipped topping for dessert or snack. I celebrate my success with a mani pedi, New blouse , book etc. Positive reinforce ment. I just keep telling myself I have to do this.I want to get off the oxygen and be healthy. Best wishes the struggle is real.5
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Sharl00781 wrote: »Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the super kind words and guidance. The advice from middlehaitch and kommodevaran really help. And actually cutting 250cals seems doable. I just feel out of control and then I behave for a few days or even a week and then for some reason self sabotage. I even know I'm doing it but it sort of feels like I'm weirdly punishing myself. Weirdo.
Shazland be my friend! Im aware I'm not the only one in this situation but it definitely feels like I'm the only one incapable of managing my feelings. I have started just going on the treadmill for twenty mins just to clear my head and give me an endorphin rush. Goal is to run a mile.
I just wanted to say that 1- it's great that you take this as support and help! And 2 - there isn't just "some reason" that you "self sabotage" - it's perfectly normal to rebel against restriction, even if it's self imposed as when dieting. If you start out wanting to lose weight as a form of punishment for "letting yourself go" or whatever, you'll look out for reasons to stop that. You need a plan that feels good from day to day. You may have to challenge yourself, you will have to say "no" to yourself, but not all the time. Whatever you can do, doesn't matter if you can't do it for more than a few months. If you think of your daily routine - eating, sleeping, working, moving - as you behave - you will want to give up. People who have had success have a plan they can stick to, not only when everything is cool, but a plan that helps them through times that are tough. You're in this for life. So make a plan that is sustainable for life. Stop eating to pass time and quell emotions. Stop exercising to "burn calories" or "make up for" eating. Just eat and move in a way you find enjoyable.2 -
I find fitting treats into my calls has helped me from emotional eating I eat whatever I want just not to much x0
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Is it the food that is comforting or the act of eating that is comforting?0
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In the past, what's made me end up overeating is when I am too restrictive, and it backfires big time. I've been following a sensible, healthy eating plan and because I'm eating enough during the day, I no longer feel the urge to overeat in the evening because I'm feeling satisfied and not as though I'm depriving myself at all. Perhaps take a close look at what you're eating and make sure you're actually eating enough good stuff to stop you feeling too hungry..?0
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Sharl00781 wrote: »I need to lose a stone but I just can't stop eating. It's the usual story. Comforting myself with food when bored, stressed, anxious etc. After two years I've put on a stone and on my 5ft frame. It definitely shows. I should be 8st but I'm 9st. I've tried (what feels like everything) calorie counting, intermittent fasting, high protein etc. But I end up 'treating myself' or giving in to a need to comfort myself with food because I feel deprived or whatever other excuse I've told myself. I don't know what I'm asking. I just feel so fed up at my own failure. Im appalled that I can't stop shovling food in. I don't know what to do.
I have OCD, ADHD, and Social Anxiety....so I understand how hard it can be to break habits. But I quit smoking 7 years ago and never smoked again, cold turkey. And when I started counting calories, working out, and cutting out alcohol all at the same time, it was hard. Basically a total life change.
But you have to really believe and tell yourself "That part of my life is over. Done. You're done." And hold yourself to it. If you're binge-eating, that has to be done.
For me...I like to reward myself for ending behaviors or habits with things that are totally unrelated to the original problem (meaning if you have a food issue, don't reward yourself with food because you're reinforcing the belief that food is a reward/comfort/treat).
Reward yourself with a new outfit or earrings. Or movie date. Or new pajamas or bedsheets. Or even gaming or FB time. Whatever your "thing" is that you like to have/do/buy other than food...reward reaching goals and maintaining discipline with those things as much as possible, instead.
But remember that following a new diet or workout is already an achievement many have failed. Caring so much is a good start and you can't be too hard on yourself. Forget what you've been doing up until right now. It's done. That guilt is useless and harmful to your goals. You're not that person anymore. Now start again and create the new you.1 -
Pinkcustard wrote: »In the past, what's made me end up overeating is when I am too restrictive, and it backfires big time. I've been following a sensible, healthy eating plan and because I'm eating enough during the day, I no longer feel the urge to overeat in the evening because I'm feeling satisfied and not as though I'm depriving myself at all. Perhaps take a close look at what you're eating and make sure you're actually eating enough good stuff to stop you feeling too hungry..?
@Sharl00781 I was wondering if you were being over-restrictive and it was backfiring on you like what used to happen with the poster I quoted. With a stone (14 pounds) to lose, do aim for just a half pound per week loss.
Also, a regular exercise program does wonders for my mood and disinclines me towards emotional eating.0 -
It sounds like you need to find other ways to 'comfort' yourself. Since I started The New Regime (I've lost eight stone, so it deserves the capital letters!) I've found that my go-to comfort has changed to scents; nice perfumes, scented candles. There are lots of ways to indulge yourself, you just have to get out of the unhealthy mindset of food-as-guilty-treat.0
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