Looking sick after reaching goal

Yeah, my mom told me I looked too thin, that my face was "gaunt" but she had seen me overweight for pretty much most of my adult life! She just needed to get used to the new me!

Make sure you are sleeping well and getting all the nutrients you need. Congrats on your weight loss, that's impressive!

Ugh, I just got this 'talk' this weekend. I have similar stats but I'm not to my goal weight. I am 5'2.5. I started at 183 on Jan 2nd. I am currently 140. I def still have fluff, specially in my middle(3 kids, naturally apple shaped and I lose last in my stomach). My ultimate goal is 120. I was that weight in my wedding day. I'd even be happy at 125 with more toned/more muscle. This weekend my sister in law asked me how much more weight I planned on losing. I told her that I wanted to get down to my wedding weight, I felt great and looked great then. She told me I was too thin then and looked sickly. My mother in law was quick to jump in and agree. She also added that your body is different when you are older and doesn't go back.... . Which I was not skinny agree I have a small frame. I also disagree with the 'when older comment'z. I'm only 34. I just said, well I disagree and that's my goal. I look back at those pictures and I feel that was the best I have ever looked or felt. Keep doing what you do and what you are happy with. I keep telling myself it's not about making other people happy anyways.

After I'd lost about 90 pounds toward my goal of 100, my 93 year old grandpa told me if I lost any more weight I would be ugly. My aunt told me that no one should wear size extra small clothes (which I now wear). Both of these relatives are obese. Not everyone is supportive, and frankly, I think that so many people are overweight and/or used to being around overweight people that they don't have a good sense of what a healthy weight is or is not. If you like your body and your doctor agrees that you're in good health, that matters far more than whatever the haters say.

HealthierRayne wrote: »

Honestly I think that society is so distorted with all the overweight people that are walking around, that our idea of normal is shifted away from what is truly healthy, healthy is suddently skinny or skin and bones. Overweight seems to be the newly accepted normal (at least from what I have observed). I am nearly 250lbs and 5'11 and I hear all the time that I am fine the way I am and don't need to lose weight or else I'll just be skin and bones. Being 95lbs overweight is NOT healthy, and no I will not stay the same because everyone around me thinks I "look fine"

I think you have done an amazing thing, losing that much is a lot of hard work! Congratulations!

If you're not under weight, healthy and happy then really that's all that matters in the end. I doubt you look sick!

I would like this comment a million times if I could. I completely agree and say kudos to you for your attitude. It's easy to be apathetic and accept society's norms - much more difficult to go on the path you are on to make positive change because you know it's the right thing to do.

Personally, OP, similar situation though not the same starting weight. I am 5'3'' and started my weight loss journey at around 155 lbs. I am now maintaining my weight between 115-120lbs and very happy with how I look (so is my husband). With that said, it did take time for many friends and some family members to accept the new me. I got a lot of comments like "don't you dare lose any more weight!", "turn sideways and you'll disappear!" and my personal favorite - "you're running again? But haven't you lost all the weight you need to lose?" (Side note: yeah - how do you expect me to keep it off? This girl likes to eat!).

You just gotta shrug it off and realize the issue is with them, not you. So long as you're happy, healthy and focused on maintaining sensible and sustainable habits, keep on doing you and forget about the nay-sayers.

hoorayselma wrote: »

Im 5-3 starting weight 187 goal weight and current weight is 127 .. i lost 60 pounds in 10 months my problem is instead of hearing congratulations from family and friends all im hearing is ... what happened you look sick or omg when you lost weight u look different... im bummed i know the ... " do what makes you feel good", " don't listen to what people say" ..but i was just wondering for those whom lost weight 30+ pounds ... did you hear that too or is it just me??? Also is there a way that helps when losing weight not to look so sick ?!

Yeah, I lost over 50 lbs in 6 months on my first go with MFP.

People were telling me I was too skinny and not having a maintenance plan, I resumed bad habits and here I am starting round two, older and heavier. I posted my slim pic in my profile.

It was super hard for me, before I got to my goal I had so many people say things.... Eating disorder,ill, losing too much etc.
I felt like it became verbal abuse. Once people get used to it, the voices stop. I was 5'9 and 155 so I knew it was healthy weight for me

WorshipHK wrote: »

6lbs a month isn't fast. You can safely lose 2lbs a week and OP's loss is well within that time frame.

I had this happen the firs time I lost about 30lbs. I had gained the weight back about a year later and was looking through some pictures and my friend at the time had told me "I'm glad you don't look like that anymore. You looked sick."

I feel like it's a result of having seen you at one weight for so long and then you lose weight and they're just not used to it or they're jealous of your amazing success.
Don't get discouraged especially if you're happy with your progress! I highly doubt you look sick

Safe rate of loss is relative to how much you have to lose. 6lbs per month on average is fast.

Anyway. There's probably a combination of things all mentioned above. But there could also be an element of you looking a bit sallow if you were still losing too quickly close to goal. But that should sort itself with some time at maintenance. And people getting used to your appearance will also sort itself out with some time at maintenance!

Though some people will always have something to say, a lot of people like the sound of their own voice.

I believe we are so accustomed to seeing (and being) people overweight that when someone is finally a healthy weight we think they look sick. Keep up being healthy. Work on building muscle if you aren't already. Eventually they will stop because THIS you will be normal to them. Congrats on your weight loss. It's a lot of hard work

Happens to everyone. I still have patients asking me if I am sick. Stay working out and eating well and no matter what anyone says or thinks you know you're healthy.

It's highly likely that you don't look sick. I had one particular family member who was trying to convince people I was too thin and anerixic. Her basis: I had lost 60 lbs and still wanted to lose another 50 lbs. I never starved myself (I'm in the eat as many calories as possible and still lose weight camp) and I was still obese by BMI standards. She now comments that I'm too thin everyone she sees me.

bnovak226 wrote: »

Ur friends and family are not used to seeing you thinner.... (I'm going through the same thing). I ask other health conscious healthy eating gym going people. That don't know me from my heavier day. Seriously ask a stranger if need be. Do I look too thin? What are areas I can work on? Of all the people I know (friends and family included) I have 2 honest people I feel I can count on to shoot some straight (no jealousy no idk what to say, no too thin/fat) one is family and the other is a work acquaintance. I trust no one else. They all lie. Lol.

This one! Ask a couple of strangers. Make sure you find an honest one.