Looking sick after reaching goal

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hoorayselma
hoorayselma Posts: 127 Member
in Success Stories
Im 5-3 starting weight 187 goal weight and current weight is 127 .. i lost 60 pounds in 10 months my problem is instead of hearing congratulations from family and friends all im hearing is ... what happened you look sick or omg when you lost weight u look different... im bummed i know the ... " do what makes you feel good", " don't listen to what people say" ..but i was just wondering for those whom lost weight 30+ pounds ... did you hear that too or is it just me??? Also is there a way that helps when losing weight not to look so sick ?!
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Replies

  • T0M_K
    T0M_K Posts: 7,526 Member
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    I don't know your family or friends and what sort of physical condition they are in but there may be some jealousy?
    As the old wise person @MeganAM89 illuded to, could just be shock by them. if you've been that weight a long while, you must look drastically diff to them. Embrace your new body. work out, put on some muscle, just be you and be healthy! Congrats on your success!!
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
    edited April 2017
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    I'm 5'4". I started at 163 but have been as high as 180.

    You lost a little fast. It took me 9 months to get from 163 to 133. I decided to cut down to 127 so that I could BULK and gain weight in muscle.

    I did not get compliments at 127. I got "where did your butt go", "wow...still losing?". When I look back at pictures, it wasn't the cutest look. My face was really thin. I was confused because a lot of my 5'4" friends on here were weighing 110 and I couldn't get below 130 easily.

    Anyway. Your stats are healthy. If you had lost slower and done weight training, you may have saved more muscle and might look a bit...different, shall we say, than you do now.

    Nutrition is also your friend. Are you getting enough micro nutrients, are you getting enough protein and fat?
  • deputy_randolph
    deputy_randolph Posts: 940 Member
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    I'm 5'3 started at probably exactly 187...lowest was 123 (with little muscle development), and my grandmother told me not to lose more weight b/c "my face looked weird."

    I weigh about 10 lbs more and do "look better" after a few years of strength training. But I hardly "looked weird" before.
  • PrincessMel72
    PrincessMel72 Posts: 1,094 Member
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    Yeah, my mom told me I looked too thin, that my face was "gaunt" but she had seen me overweight for pretty much most of my adult life! She just needed to get used to the new me!
  • nFoooo
    nFoooo Posts: 136 Member
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    Make sure you are sleeping well and getting all the nutrients you need. Congrats on your weight loss, that's impressive!
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
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    I got the pity look from my mum, she offered to come and cook
    She is used to me now
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
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    My boss told me should could count my teeth through my cheeks. That honestly hurt.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
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    Yes I got that and for me mothers and mothers-in-laws can be incredibly honest and harsh. Also since I work from home not many people see me on a regular basis. Also if you are wearing clothes that are some what still big in which you have not completely transformed your wardrobe, this might appear to some that you are too thin as well.

    Be proud of yourself for being healthy and all your accomplishments.

  • roboliciousbob
    roboliciousbob Posts: 134 Member
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    Ugh, I just got this 'talk' this weekend. I have similar stats but I'm not to my goal weight. I am 5'2.5. I started at 183 on Jan 2nd. I am currently 140. I def still have fluff, specially in my middle(3 kids, naturally apple shaped and I lose last in my stomach). My ultimate goal is 120. I was that weight in my wedding day. I'd even be happy at 125 with more toned/more muscle. This weekend my sister in law asked me how much more weight I planned on losing. I told her that I wanted to get down to my wedding weight, I felt great and looked great then. She told me I was too thin then and looked sickly. My mother in law was quick to jump in and agree. She also added that your body is different when you are older and doesn't go back.... . Which I was not skinny agree I have a small frame. I also disagree with the 'when older comment'z. I'm only 34. I just said, well I disagree and that's my goal. I look back at those pictures and I feel that was the best I have ever looked or felt. Keep doing what you do and what you are happy with. I keep telling myself it's not about making other people happy anyways.
  • hoorayselma
    hoorayselma Posts: 127 Member
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    @Tomk652015 ...jealousy did come to my mind i gotta admit also yes ive been overweight basically all my life .. thanks! @WorshipHK i can totally relate to your story and thanks for your kind words too @HealthierRayne @nFoooo thanks to u all !
  • apullum
    apullum Posts: 4,838 Member
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    After I'd lost about 90 pounds toward my goal of 100, my 93 year old grandpa told me if I lost any more weight I would be ugly. My aunt told me that no one should wear size extra small clothes (which I now wear). Both of these relatives are obese. Not everyone is supportive, and frankly, I think that so many people are overweight and/or used to being around overweight people that they don't have a good sense of what a healthy weight is or is not. If you like your body and your doctor agrees that you're in good health, that matters far more than whatever the haters say.
  • JeniiFitness
    JeniiFitness Posts: 3 Member
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    Sometime when people are use to seeing us much bigger, it's different or odd for them to see you in a thinner version. Features are more defined, you can see bone just like any other person has at a healthy weight verses pudge or Fat. Don't be discouraged. They will get use to it. This is the new you! Be proud. It takes so much to loose what you have. Pat yourself on the back and keep your head up. I have currently lost 27 pounds. I was 181 my goal is my weight BC (before children) of 130 pounds. And I already am nervous seeing my shoulder bones and legs be so thin. Work out, maybe do a little weight training to build a little muscle to look a bit fuller. Building muscle/toning will also help you burn calories faster daily. :) Good luck!!!
  • sofchak
    sofchak Posts: 862 Member
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    HealthierRayne wrote: »
    Honestly I think that society is so distorted with all the overweight people that are walking around, that our idea of normal is shifted away from what is truly healthy, healthy is suddently skinny or skin and bones. Overweight seems to be the newly accepted normal (at least from what I have observed). I am nearly 250lbs and 5'11 and I hear all the time that I am fine the way I am and don't need to lose weight or else I'll just be skin and bones. Being 95lbs overweight is NOT healthy, and no I will not stay the same because everyone around me thinks I "look fine"

    I think you have done an amazing thing, losing that much is a lot of hard work! Congratulations!

    If you're not under weight, healthy and happy then really that's all that matters in the end. I doubt you look sick!

    I would like this comment a million times if I could. I completely agree and say kudos to you for your attitude. It's easy to be apathetic and accept society's norms - much more difficult to go on the path you are on to make positive change because you know it's the right thing to do.

    Personally, OP, similar situation though not the same starting weight. I am 5'3'' and started my weight loss journey at around 155 lbs. I am now maintaining my weight between 115-120lbs and very happy with how I look (so is my husband). With that said, it did take time for many friends and some family members to accept the new me. I got a lot of comments like "don't you dare lose any more weight!", "turn sideways and you'll disappear!" and my personal favorite - "you're running again? But haven't you lost all the weight you need to lose?" (Side note: yeah - how do you expect me to keep it off? This girl likes to eat!).

    You just gotta shrug it off and realize the issue is with them, not you. So long as you're happy, healthy and focused on maintaining sensible and sustainable habits, keep on doing you and forget about the nay-sayers.

  • rugratz2015
    rugratz2015 Posts: 593 Member
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    Congrats on the weight loss x previously I looked better at 10 stone than I did at 9. I was curvier and more toned. Sometimes the scale isn't the way to go.
  • Juggernautpint
    Juggernautpint Posts: 70 Member
    edited April 2017
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    hoorayselma wrote: »
    Im 5-3 starting weight 187 goal weight and current weight is 127 .. i lost 60 pounds in 10 months my problem is instead of hearing congratulations from family and friends all im hearing is ... what happened you look sick or omg when you lost weight u look different... im bummed i know the ... " do what makes you feel good", " don't listen to what people say" ..but i was just wondering for those whom lost weight 30+ pounds ... did you hear that too or is it just me??? Also is there a way that helps when losing weight not to look so sick ?!

    Yeah, I lost over 50 lbs in 6 months on my first go with MFP.

    People were telling me I was too skinny and not having a maintenance plan, I resumed bad habits and here I am starting round two, older and heavier. I posted my slim pic in my profile.
  • CaliMomTeach
    CaliMomTeach Posts: 745 Member
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    Yes I have. I went from 193 to 137 in about 8 months. Several people were sure to ask if I lost on purpose, and the look on their face let me know they were worried I was sick. My friend's husband said I looked anorexic and several people told me to stop losing weight. I think the comments are well-intended. I think it's shocking to see such a large weight loss in a short time.
  • Fflpnari
    Fflpnari Posts: 975 Member
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    It was super hard for me, before I got to my goal I had so many people say things.... Eating disorder,ill, losing too much etc.
    I felt like it became verbal abuse. Once people get used to it, the voices stop. I was 5'9 and 155 so I knew it was healthy weight for me

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