The Train Almost Derailed .. and it's only Day TWO :(

eclecticmommy
eclecticmommy Posts: 23 Member
edited November 18 in Motivation and Support
I read (& printed out) an article from the MFP Blog about five ways to try and beat binge eating disorder. I have been diagnosed with that and it's a HUGE reason for the weight gain. Today I tried to fight the urge .. cookies this time. I took the pause, gave myself the 2 or 3 minutes and then as much as I tried to fight it, I lost. Not only to cookies but to Reese's Pieces. I am trying NOT to feel defeated, as the article states, "Be kind to yourself," but it's SO HARD. I did go over Step 2, the "Urge Interview" and realized that my urges live in my brain, and it's a black cloud that just hovers, like fog and keeps getting stronger and stronger until I cave. Though the binge was small, it's still significant because I wasn't physically hungry. It was something I saw and then my cloud woke up and said "eat it." Like a robot, I did.

Afterwards, as I sit here writing this, I feel so frustrated at myself. However, reflecting back, during the "pause" the words "disappointed," "anticipation," and "let down" kept coming through.

Before I had the snack, I was making a dish of Greek Dandelions with olive oil and lemon juice. I was excited because it was new. It was too bitter for me to handle, therefore I was let down. I was anticipating having that as a snack. Do I seek the comfort foods when I am upset? Disappointed? I am going to try and keep a journal like this, to see if when I binge if there are any "triggers" prior to the eating. Like Sherlock Holmes, I *will* figure this out. :|

Replies

  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • apullum
    apullum Posts: 4,838 Member
    First, are you receiving any professional help with this diagnosis? Do you think it would help to have that?

    Second, overeating once or twice or even many times doesn't mean that your healthy eating habits have been derailed. It just means you overate. It happened. Put it behind you and tell yourself that you'll do better next time, and keep practicing those good habits. Any kind of habit takes time to build and you need to give yourself that time to create new routines that work for you. You didn't fail. You are just in the process of learning what techniques work best for you.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    I would call it a win since you kept it small. The process takes time and 2 days isn't that long. You will learn your triggers and your coping mechanisms. Take this as a learning experience.
  • tabletop_joe
    tabletop_joe Posts: 455 Member
    Don't give up, it can take time for new behaviors to become habit.
  • eclecticmommy
    eclecticmommy Posts: 23 Member
    apullum wrote: »
    First, are you receiving any professional help with this diagnosis? Do you think it would help to have that?

    Second, overeating once or twice or even many times doesn't mean that your healthy eating habits have been derailed. It just means you overate. It happened. Put it behind you and tell yourself that you'll do better next time, and keep practicing those good habits. Any kind of habit takes time to build and you need to give yourself that time to create new routines that work for you. You didn't fail. You are just in the process of learning what techniques work best for you.

    Yes, I am currently in therapy twice monthly for the ED :smile: It's slow going, but it's a work in progress. It's hard to not get discouraged when you constantly see people online, on here, on Facebook who have lost 100+ pounds on whatever program and are sticking to it. I have such a hard time with follow-through :neutral:
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