Looking sick after reaching goal

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  • mbortz12
    mbortz12 Posts: 22 Member
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    People have something to say no matter what.. if you're overweight you're too "fat" if you're skinny you're sick or on drugs.. don't let negativity discourage you. You should be so proud of your weight loss. Alot of times people are just used to u looking a certain way!! Great job on the weight loss!!!
  • VintageFeline
    VintageFeline Posts: 6,771 Member
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    WorshipHK wrote: »
    6lbs a month isn't fast. You can safely lose 2lbs a week and OP's loss is well within that time frame.

    I had this happen the firs time I lost about 30lbs. I had gained the weight back about a year later and was looking through some pictures and my friend at the time had told me "I'm glad you don't look like that anymore. You looked sick."

    I feel like it's a result of having seen you at one weight for so long and then you lose weight and they're just not used to it or they're jealous of your amazing success.
    Don't get discouraged especially if you're happy with your progress! I highly doubt you look sick <3

    Safe rate of loss is relative to how much you have to lose. 6lbs per month on average is fast.

    Anyway. There's probably a combination of things all mentioned above. But there could also be an element of you looking a bit sallow if you were still losing too quickly close to goal. But that should sort itself with some time at maintenance. And people getting used to your appearance will also sort itself out with some time at maintenance!

    Though some people will always have something to say, a lot of people like the sound of their own voice.
  • bnovak226
    bnovak226 Posts: 135 Member
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    Ur friends and family are not used to seeing you thinner.... (I'm going through the same thing). I ask other health conscious healthy eating gym going people. That don't know me from my heavier day. Seriously ask a stranger if need be. Do I look too thin? What are areas I can work on? Of all the people I know (friends and family included) I have 2 honest people I feel I can count on to shoot some straight (no jealousy no idk what to say, no too thin/fat) one is family and the other is a work acquaintance. I trust no one else. They all lie. Lol.
  • kgb6days
    kgb6days Posts: 880 Member
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    I believe we are so accustomed to seeing (and being) people overweight that when someone is finally a healthy weight we think they look sick. Keep up being healthy. Work on building muscle if you aren't already. Eventually they will stop because THIS you will be normal to them. Congrats on your weight loss. It's a lot of hard work
  • 35dollars
    35dollars Posts: 830 Member
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    Yep, I've had this a lot from my family, and I think it's at least partly what @kgb6days says - society has become accustomed to a norm of much more rounded bodies, particularly in faces, so when you reveal a more angular you, people freak out.

    In my particular case, it didn't help that my father had lost a stack of weight from a series of serious illnesses including the cancer which ultimately killed him, and the more I lost weight the closer I looked to him - that relation of significant weight loss to illness is pretty well established in people's minds.
  • BrandNewMan1970
    BrandNewMan1970 Posts: 373 Member
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    Happens to everyone. I still have patients asking me if I am sick. Stay working out and eating well and no matter what anyone says or thinks you know you're healthy.
  • belgerian
    belgerian Posts: 1,059 Member
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    I had people tell me the same thing, personally I believe we are a overweight society and used to seeing people overweight and when they start to change their lifestyle and get healthier people seem to think they are sick. Then I would have questions on how did you loose it and my response healthier diet and exercise, almost see a look of disappointment in some.
  • shadow2soul
    shadow2soul Posts: 7,692 Member
    edited April 2017
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    It's highly likely that you don't look sick. I had one particular family member who was trying to convince people I was too thin and anerixic. Her basis: I had lost 60 lbs and still wanted to lose another 50 lbs. I never starved myself (I'm in the eat as many calories as possible and still lose weight camp) and I was still obese by BMI standards. She now comments that I'm too thin everyone she sees me.
  • jelly_potato
    jelly_potato Posts: 77 Member
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    After I lost some weight I was trying to predict people's reactions based on what I knew about their personal weight experiences and I wasn't far off. There were plenty of reactions, however the more my success was a threat to their self-perception and confidence, the more of the negative comments I received, as if they were trying to passively bully me into regression so they don't feel bad about themselves. There were a few cases of people being worried I might be sick or plan to continue losing weight, however these individuals had painful experiences with friends who suffered from health conditions or anorexia and could not help feeling worried. There are plenty of reasons why people react negatively to your success; despite whether they are truly worried about you or are being subconsciously jerks, do not take it to heart and stand your ground - they will eventually learn, accept you and let you be.
  • TheMarvelousMarvel
    TheMarvelousMarvel Posts: 2 Member
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    bnovak226 wrote: »
    Ur friends and family are not used to seeing you thinner.... (I'm going through the same thing). I ask other health conscious healthy eating gym going people. That don't know me from my heavier day. Seriously ask a stranger if need be. Do I look too thin? What are areas I can work on? Of all the people I know (friends and family included) I have 2 honest people I feel I can count on to shoot some straight (no jealousy no idk what to say, no too thin/fat) one is family and the other is a work acquaintance. I trust no one else. They all lie. Lol.

    This one! Ask a couple of strangers. Make sure you find an honest one.
  • RemoteOutpost
    RemoteOutpost Posts: 44 Member
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    6lbs per month is not fast at all, in fact it's a great, normal pace. I'm set to lose 8lbs per month and it's totally safe and recommended to do so.
  • burnsdanna
    burnsdanna Posts: 7 Member
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    I have to put my hands up here as someone who has said 'don't get to thin' and 'you've lost enough' in the past!! my friend and I were together at a well known slimming club years ago , she was doing loads better than me and losing week in and week out I however was not - may have had something to do with secretly eating my weight in crisps lol.
    anyway I could tell my friend was ( rightly) hurt by my less than supportive comments and challenged me - I thought about why id said this and realised I was jealous of her success, plain and simple - I apologised to her and thankfully she is still my friend and supporting me in this journey.
    I was really shocked at my behaviour as I am usually a really supportive friend (honestly) , I think my envy was also tied up with my perceived failure at the regime we were following ( all self inflicted too) and I wrongly took it out on her.
    I don't know if the folk having a pop at your weight loss are like I was ( jealous) and even if they are it doesn't excuse their behaviour.

    You have done magnificently and if folk don't like it or feel that they have the right to comment then challenge them? ask them "why being healthy and putting less strain on your major organs makes you unhealthy?"

    Keep on doing what your doing , we all have different journeys , some take their time, some take several different approaches, some get there before us , it doesn't matter , as long as you've started the journey :)

    Danna



  • rbrace6
    rbrace6 Posts: 3 Member
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    The problem is because so many people are overweight our society accepts that as normal. If you don't have chubby cheeks and a pot belly there must be something wrong. The bottom line is how you feel and if you are feeling good please note that you will be able to do more, have more energy, and the best part is live longer.
  • LauraInTheWater
    LauraInTheWater Posts: 477 Member
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    The first time I went to lose weight (this is the 2nd) it was about 30 lbs. I had the same reaction. I look at picture of me after the weight loss and I looked fine...great, actually. I think my family didn't realize how much weight I needed to lose. I had a really round face when I was overweight, but that was all others could see, because the rest was mostly in my hips and stomach, which I could hide with clothes.

    I think what you need to be asking yourself is, "Who did you lose the weight for?" Because there is always someone who will have an unnecessary opinion about your size. It's yours that matters.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    I'm still overweight and my workplace colleague, who is a little old Vietnamese lady who remembers how big and fat I was in 1984, has told me that I look sick. She has had to get used to the way I look now.
  • hoorayselma
    hoorayselma Posts: 127 Member
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    burnsdanna wrote: »
    I have to put my hands up here as someone who has said 'don't get to thin' and 'you've lost enough' in the past!! my friend and I were together at a well known slimming club years ago , she was doing loads better than me and losing week in and week out I however was not - may have had something to do with secretly eating my weight in crisps lol.
    anyway I could tell my friend was ( rightly) hurt by my less than supportive comments and challenged me - I thought about why id said this and realised I was jealous of her success, plain and simple - I apologised to her and thankfully she is still my friend and supporting me in this journey.
    I was really shocked at my behaviour as I am usually a really supportive friend (honestly) , I think my envy was also tied up with my perceived failure at the regime we were following ( all self inflicted too) and I wrongly took it out on her.
    I don't know if the folk having a pop at your weight loss are like I was ( jealous) and even if they are it doesn't excuse their behaviour.

    You have done magnificently and if folk don't like it or feel that they have the right to comment then challenge them? ask them "why being healthy and putting less strain on your major organs makes you unhealthy?"

    Keep on doing what your doing , we all have different journeys , some take their time, some take several different approaches, some get there before us , it doesn't matter , as long as you've started the journey :)

    Danna

    Thanks danna and that's pretty big of u to apologize to ur friend and realize the true reason of ur negative comments to her.. I applaud u!

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