Spank your kids yes or no?

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Scott613
Scott613 Posts: 2,317 Member
in Chit-Chat
I don't mean beat them till they're blue. There's a difference between discipline and abuse. Do you or would you spank your kid/ kids?
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  • ladybg81
    ladybg81 Posts: 1,553 Member
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    My son is 2.5. He changed clases at school and is now in the PreK3 class. He started having some behavior problems a few weeks in. Talks, time to think (time out) and other things we tried did not work. One day, my hubby picked him up from school and he had another frowny face. He brought him home, smacked his little bum-bum 2 times (just hard enough to get his attention) put him on his bed and all he could do until bed time was read his books (yes, he had dinner and a bath as well.) That was 1 week ago and we've had smiley faces everyday. All I do is remind him of the spanking when I drop him off. We pride ourselves on not making empty threats to our son. I think giving him a swat is what got his attention and if that one small thing is what it took to make him behave; I am okay with that. We allow him to be a kid but inappropriate behavior is not tolerated. Period. We expect a lot from him and good behavior is one of those things. I think you have to start discipline from the beginning or you will end of with a holy terror. And yes, it will happen again if the behavior warrants it.
  • jessradtke
    jessradtke Posts: 418 Member
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    I don't spank and never have. I've never found it to be necessary.

    By the way, not only is there a difference between discipline and abuse, there's also a difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline (teaching) does not have to include punishment. People have used word discipline when they actually mean punishment for so long now that people think they're synonymous. They aren't.
  • runner328
    runner328 Posts: 174
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    I was spanked but I never spanked my daughter. I never had too. I am not just saying this because she my kid but she was really good and time-out & me being upset with her was enough punishment for her. I think spanking is acceptable done in a proper way.
  • frostiegurl
    frostiegurl Posts: 708 Member
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    My parents were both raised in homes that believed in corporal punishment, including being beaten on a regular basis with various household implements. They vowed never to raise a hand to their own children. So, my siblings and I were never spanked, swatted, smacked or otherwise punished in a physical manner. Were we perfect children? No. But, I've yet to meet one.

    None of us ended up holy terrors and we all grew up with a great deal of respect for our parents. I personally would never advocate hitting a child no matter the situation involved. There are so many other ways to effectively teach a child to behave respectfully.
  • sewist
    sewist Posts: 40
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    (3 of 4 of my children are adults)

    Looking back: spankings, though rare, were a sign of my frustration (a particularly willful child) or fear (child dashed in front of a car). There are better ways to parent, IMHO.
  • chezmama
    chezmama Posts: 396 Member
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    Spanking is preferable to letting your kids misbehave, but it should be the last resort, not the first.
  • BethanyMasters
    BethanyMasters Posts: 519 Member
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    I don't have kids.

    But I know that my step siblings got spanked quite a bit and my parents hardly ever spanked or hit me. Most of us turned out to be pretty decent human beings.

    But if I'm at work and a customer has a screaming child I'm certainly not going to look down on them for taking their child into the bathroom and coming out with a child that is no longer screaming and misbehaving.
    If i'm at the grocery store and there is a kid throwing a tantrum I'm not going to look down on the parent that gives em a swift slap on the butt to get their attention.

    The parents I have a problem with are the ones that let their children carry on in public and make empty threats or don't do anything at all.

    As long as you take care of the situation the method doesn't bother me as long as you are not straight up beating your kid.
  • Trixtabella
    Trixtabella Posts: 471 Member
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    My son is 2.5. He changed clases at school and is now in the PreK3 class. He started having some behavior problems a few weeks in. Talks, time to think (time out) and other things we tried did not work. One day, my hubby picked him up from school and he had another frowny face. He brought him home, smacked his little bum-bum 2 times (just hard enough to get his attention) put him on his bed and all he could do until bed time was read his books (yes, he had dinner and a bath as well.) That was 1 week ago and we've had smiley faces everyday. All I do is remind him of the spanking when I drop him off. We pride ourselves on not making empty threats to our son. I think giving him a swat is what got his attention and if that one small thing is what it took to make him behave; I am okay with that. We allow him to be a kid but inappropriate behavior is not tolerated. Period. We expect a lot from him and good behavior is one of those things. I think you have to start discipline from the beginning or you will end of with a holy terror. And yes, it will happen again if the behavior warrants it.

    My mum spanked me once, thats all it took alot like your son. Then she just had the mum stare which was just scary enough on it's own for me not to misbehave.
  • SkateboardFi
    SkateboardFi Posts: 1,322 Member
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    I don't have kids.


    But if I'm at work and a customer has a screaming child I'm certainly not going to look down on them for taking their child into the bathroom and coming out with a child that is no longer screaming and misbehaving.
    If i'm at the grocery store and there is a kid throwing a tantrum I'm not going to look down on the parent that gives em a swift slap on the butt to get their attention.

    The parents I have a problem with are the ones that let their children carry on in public and make empty threats or don't do anything at all.

    As long as you take care of the situation the method doesn't bother me as long as you are not straight up beating your kid.

    ^this. however, i was spanked a lot as a child, and to this day i felt like most of it was unwarranted. me and my boyfriend have had this discussion. i believe a swift swat is okay if it's really really serious, but he doesn't want to hit them at all, explaining thart we should just tell them why we're upset and then ground them. he brought up a valid point that most times when parents spank their kids, the kids almost never get a CLEAR understanding of what was wrong in the first place and just build fear towards their parents.
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
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    I think it gets overused and can easily get out of hand. My mom was very comfortable with spanking, and that developed into smacks in the face, tossing me around, etc. As I grew up, I began to fight back so she'd leave me alone. For a long time I swore I would never spank, but in raising my sister for the first 3 years of her life and then babysitting my brother, I realized that it can be helpful but it shouldn't be the first thing you go for. I have only spanked each of them a couple times. After they repeatedly make some 'offense', I tell them "If you don't stop, I'm going to give you a spanking." And then they stop, because the first two times I said that, I followed through. Now there's no reason for it which is nice.
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
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    My son is 2.5. He changed clases at school and is now in the PreK3 class. He started having some behavior problems a few weeks in. Talks, time to think (time out) and other things we tried did not work. One day, my hubby picked him up from school and he had another frowny face. He brought him home, smacked his little bum-bum 2 times (just hard enough to get his attention) put him on his bed and all he could do until bed time was read his books (yes, he had dinner and a bath as well.) That was 1 week ago and we've had smiley faces everyday. All I do is remind him of the spanking when I drop him off. We pride ourselves on not making empty threats to our son. I think giving him a swat is what got his attention and if that one small thing is what it took to make him behave; I am okay with that. We allow him to be a kid but inappropriate behavior is not tolerated. Period. We expect a lot from him and good behavior is one of those things. I think you have to start discipline from the beginning or you will end of with a holy terror. And yes, it will happen again if the behavior warrants it.

    My mum spanked me once, thats all it took alot like your son. Then she just had the mum stare which was just scary enough on it's own for me not to misbehave.

    LOL the mum stare. :laugh: I wish my parents would have given my brother a swat. He has always been crazy and now he's medicated for it. I'm not against medicating for ADD/ADHD, but I am quite sure he could handle himself if my parents hadn't let him run amok all these years.
  • Trixtabella
    Trixtabella Posts: 471 Member
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    Haha seriously that look would stop me in my tracks.
  • BethanyMasters
    BethanyMasters Posts: 519 Member
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    I don't have kids.


    But if I'm at work and a customer has a screaming child I'm certainly not going to look down on them for taking their child into the bathroom and coming out with a child that is no longer screaming and misbehaving.
    If i'm at the grocery store and there is a kid throwing a tantrum I'm not going to look down on the parent that gives em a swift slap on the butt to get their attention.

    The parents I have a problem with are the ones that let their children carry on in public and make empty threats or don't do anything at all.

    As long as you take care of the situation the method doesn't bother me as long as you are not straight up beating your kid.

    ^this. however, i was spanked a lot as a child, and to this day i felt like most of it was unwarranted. me and my boyfriend have had this discussion. i believe a swift swat is okay if it's really really serious, but he doesn't want to hit them at all, explaining thart we should just tell them why we're upset and then ground them. he brought up a valid point that most times when parents spank their kids, the kids almost never get a CLEAR understanding of what was wrong in the first place and just build fear towards their parents.

    I agree.

    My dad spanked me once and told me why. Because I had crossed the street on my bike without looking.

    My mom spanked me more often and most of the time it was out of frustration.
    Not saying this this is the singular cause but my mom and I don't have an amazing relationship. And my dad is my best friend.
  • LoveleeB
    LoveleeB Posts: 560 Member
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    I was never spanked or whooped (as we said in KY lol) and I turned out just fine. At least I think so. haha
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
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    I don't have kids.


    But if I'm at work and a customer has a screaming child I'm certainly not going to look down on them for taking their child into the bathroom and coming out with a child that is no longer screaming and misbehaving.
    If i'm at the grocery store and there is a kid throwing a tantrum I'm not going to look down on the parent that gives em a swift slap on the butt to get their attention.

    The parents I have a problem with are the ones that let their children carry on in public and make empty threats or don't do anything at all.

    As long as you take care of the situation the method doesn't bother me as long as you are not straight up beating your kid.

    ^this. however, i was spanked a lot as a child, and to this day i felt like most of it was unwarranted. me and my boyfriend have had this discussion. i believe a swift swat is okay if it's really really serious, but he doesn't want to hit them at all, explaining thart we should just tell them why we're upset and then ground them. he brought up a valid point that most times when parents spank their kids, the kids almost never get a CLEAR understanding of what was wrong in the first place and just build fear towards their parents.

    I agree.

    My dad spanked me once and told me why. Because I had crossed the street on my bike without looking.

    My mom spanked me more often and most of the time it was out of frustration.
    Not saying this this is the singular cause but my mom and I don't have an amazing relationship. And my dad is my best friend.

    That's how I am too. My dad never spanked me because he never had to (I never got to see him because my mom had custody, so I was always very happy around him). But when I moved in with him and my stepmom, two times he grabbed my shoulders and escorted me to my room lol. Because he so rarely used physical force, that made a big impact. Plus I have always respected my dad so I didn't want to disappoint him, and therefore generally behaved very well. My mom and I rarely speak now and I don't really feel any respect for her unfortunately.
  • TruckerChick
    TruckerChick Posts: 263
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    I was spanked, slapped, belted, hangered.. you name it, my mom did it! I swore that I would never spank my kids.

    Then I had kids. Three boys.

    And I spanked my first son a lot. Not that I'm proud of it. Because I'm not. It wasn't until he was 4 years old and I was about to hit him out of anger that I realized I was continuing the cycle my mother continued from her childhood... and it wasn't a good thing. I stopped myself and walked out of the room. I never hit him out of anger again. By the time the second and third sons came along, I was beginning to get the hang of it. Corner time, time out, work as punishment became the norm. But, I learned, there were times when spankings were warranted. I won't say what those times are... those are for you to decide.

    Bottom line is... sometimes it takes more than a timeout to make them learn. And you can't make idle threats, cuz that teaches them that you won't ever follow thru. But each case needs to be handled individually. For some kids, only one smack on the *kitten* is all it will ever take. For another kid, one is not enough. For still others, you may never have to take that step.

    Your kids will let you know which ones they are. But you should never, ever have to resort to the kind of beatings that I went thru when I was a kid. That's too much!
  • JEK717
    JEK717 Posts: 1,497
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    Im not sure if i could spank them just cuz imma girl and i wouldn't wanna hurt them. But i would most def discipline them. I think id leave the spanking to the dude:)
  • BethanyMasters
    BethanyMasters Posts: 519 Member
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    This also reminds me of my boyfriends neice.

    Around her mother she is an absolute terror. All her mom does is yell and scream at her and make idle threats. The girl knows her mom isn't going to actually do anything about it except scream and yell.

    Around her dad. Perfect angel.
    And if she starts acting up he starts counting.
    1 . . . 2. . . And whatever she was doing stops completely.
    Fairly certain he trained her with one firm whipping and a warning that if he ever gets to 3 it's going to happen again.
  • arh0117
    arh0117 Posts: 185 Member
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    I've used spankings with both of my children, one's 9 and the other is 20 mos. And before I get carried out on a rail, I only use it as a last resort. Both are very well behaved, and generally respond well to verbal commands. However, sometimes a spanking is necessary, imo.
  • chris6515
    chris6515 Posts: 131 Member
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    I was physically disciplined as a child and vowed I would not do that with my kids. For the most part, I did not spank. It is MUCH harder and takes incredible patience and self-discipline to use better methods. So yes, once in a while I lost patience and spanked them, but I am not proud of it. Having said that, it did not cause permanent damage to their psyche or anything; we joke about it now. To me it is simple; it's not okay to hit people. It's not a lesson you want to teach.

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