Child Abuse/Child Neglect?

LJCDuke11
LJCDuke11 Posts: 103 Member
edited September 30 in Food and Nutrition
Sooo... I'm just curious to see responses... Sensitive subject...

Do you feel that parents/guardians of obese children should be questioned regarding Child Neglect/Abuse?

http://www.google.com/search?um=1&hl=en&rlz=1T4GGHP_enUS435US435&biw=1920&bih=844&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=obese+children&oq=obese+children&aq=f&aqi=g10&aql=&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=125161l128098l0l128317l14l12l0l0l0l0l281l1998l0.8.3l11
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Replies

  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Not unless they've first been offered and refused nutritional guidance. Just reading the posts on these boards tells me just how ignorant much of the general public is about proper nutrition.
  • PANZERIA
    PANZERIA Posts: 471 Member
    Two answers: yes, obesity should be considered abusive since the child has no control over it. But no, parents shouldn't be 'punished' for it by a) having their children taken away or b) being charged for it.

    I have an aunt who is morbidly obese, and both of my cousins have (unfortunately) followed suit. My one cousin is 16 years old and weighs more than 350lbs, so I do have a personal link to this issue.

    I don't think that children should be taken away, but I do feel that there should be action taken for it. There should be support for those parents, because it's usually education - they don't know WHAT to feed their kids, how much should be fed, and what is appropriate for a child to eat.

    It could also be time management - they don't have time to cook dinner, so takeout five times a week is okay for them.

    I'm excited to see the response to this post! It's a gooder!
  • LJCDuke11
    LJCDuke11 Posts: 103 Member
    Good point!! Yeah, I feel the same way... OMG! I've been educating myself and the whole "food/nutrition" industry is nothing less than bone-chilling, blood boiling SCARY!!!
  • PalmettoparkGuy
    PalmettoparkGuy Posts: 212 Member
    I say YES. There should definitely be some intervention.
  • LJCDuke11
    LJCDuke11 Posts: 103 Member
    Two answers: yes, obesity should be considered abusive since the child has no control over it. But no, parents shouldn't be 'punished' for it by a) having their children taken away or b) being charged for it.

    I have an aunt who is morbidly obese, and both of my cousins have (unfortunately) followed suit. My one cousin is 16 years old and weighs more than 350lbs, so I do have a personal link to this issue.

    I don't think that children should be taken away, but I do feel that there should be action taken for it. There should be support for those parents, because it's usually education - they don't know WHAT to feed their kids, how much should be fed, and what is appropriate for a child to eat.

    It could also be time management - they don't have time to cook dinner, so takeout five times a week is okay for them.

    I'm excited to see the response to this post! It's a gooder!

    I'm so glad you posted your personal link to this! I feel definately there needs to be education before action!! About time, I feel that the better stuff (salads for example) take less time than cooking... ya know? Bring on the responses!
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    It could also be time management - they don't have time to cook dinner, so takeout five times a week is okay for them.

    I think this is cop-out. It is neither quicker or less expensive to drive thru for dinner than it is to purchase and prepare dinner. I think starting with raw food and preparing it is best, but when time prevents there are hundreds if not thousands of healthy options that cost less than even the dollar menu, because let's face it, your children didn't get fat eating one jr. burger for a dollar. Pre-bagged mixed salads, steam in the microwave veggies or fish, canned low sodium vegetables and meats, low-fat yogurt or yogurt drinks, minute rice, whole grain coucous (dump in a bag of frozen mixed veggies and you have a tasty side dish in < 10 min.) You can make healthy omelets in less time than you can load the kids in the car. There are many quick and low cost healthy options.
  • AmberBarrios
    AmberBarrios Posts: 394 Member
    Sensitive subject, but I feel that if a parent of a morbidly obese child has been told that they need to take steps to making their child healthy and they don't then yes I think it's abuse/neglect. As a parent myself I see how it can be easier to give your kids what they want rather than what they need, but you are the parent and what you say goes, temper tantrum or not!!!

    As a parent you can be taking your kids to the park or for a walk, and I know life is busy and it's hard to find time, but those parents need to look at their routine and see where this can be added in. I take my kids jogging with me, they ride their scooters, but they are still being active (3 miles 3 days a week not to mention usually 7 miles on saturdays). (don't want to hear the backlash on this one) I let them box! Yes they have boxing gloves! But you know what, they are being active not to mention they don't argue as much. I never let them get hurt and if I see it's getting out of hand I stop it, but they have fun and laugh the whole time.

    I posted a rant earlier about someone I know that is a large woman who has very large children who I feel is guilty of child abuse/neglect because she will feed her kids larger portions than most adults can eat then call them Fat *kitten* and Pigs! Now instead of putting down the fork herself and looking at what example she is setting for them she finds it easier to belittle them! These are very young kids too!
  • AmberBarrios
    AmberBarrios Posts: 394 Member
    It could also be time management - they don't have time to cook dinner, so takeout five times a week is okay for them.

    I think this is cop-out. It is neither quicker or less expensive to drive thru for dinner than it is to purchase and prepare dinner. I think starting with raw food and preparing it is best, but when time prevents there are hundreds if not thousands of healthy options that cost less than even the dollar menu, because let's face it, your children didn't get fat eating one jr. burger for a dollar. Pre-bagged mixed salads, steam in the microwave veggies or fish, canned low sodium vegetables and meats, low-fat yogurt or yogurt drinks, minute rice, whole grain coucous (dump in a bag of frozen mixed veggies and you have a tasty side dish in < 10 min.) You can make healthy omelets in less time than you can load the kids in the car. There are many quick and low cost healthy options.

    I SO totally agree!!!! I work full time (45 minute commute), find time to run every day and still make fresh healthy meals for my family. It can be done!!!
  • LJCDuke11
    LJCDuke11 Posts: 103 Member
    Sensitive subject, but I feel that if a parent of a morbidly obese child has been told that they need to take steps to making their child healthy and they don't then yes I think it's abuse/neglect. As a parent myself I see how it can be easier to give your kids what they want rather than what they need, but you are the parent and what you say goes, temper tantrum or not!!!

    As a parent you can be taking your kids to the park or for a walk, and I know life is busy and it's hard to find time, but those parents need to look at their routine and see where this can be added in. I take my kids jogging with me, they ride their scooters, but they are still being active (3 miles 3 days a week not to mention usually 7 miles on saturdays). (don't want to hear the backlash on this one) I let them box! Yes they have boxing gloves! But you know what, they are being active not to mention they don't argue as much. I never let them get hurt and if I see it's getting out of hand I stop it, but they have fun and laugh the whole time.

    I posted a rant earlier about someone I know that is a large woman who has very large children who I feel is guilty of child abuse/neglect because she will feed her kids larger portions than most adults can eat then call them Fat *kitten* and Pigs! Now instead of putting down the fork herself and looking at what example she is setting for them she finds it easier to belittle them! These are very young kids too!

    I'm in agreement! And by the way I think boxing is a good thing!! =)
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    Not unless they've first been offered and refused nutritional guidance. Just reading the posts on these boards tells me just how ignorant much of the general public is about proper nutrition.
    I agree. Many are uneducated. But I think having a child is, morally, a privilege, not a right. But we also have an obligation as a society to look out for the welfare of the children. If we feel a child is in danger, we should take whatever steps necessary to remedy the situation. Educate the parents. Intervene. If the parents don't like it, tough. And if they won't/can't measure up, then it's abuse/neglect. If you're not going to do the very best you can for your child, you shouldn't be allowed to have one. I know I sound harsh. Too bad.
  • kdchick99
    kdchick99 Posts: 104 Member
    Being a social worker I can see both side and have had a case of this too. The grandparents were order to start taking the child to a specialist due to his extreme weight and concerns for his asthma and other health issues. The grandparents refused and did not kept appointments which show neglect. Therefore, the county had to step in to help the child. While he was in foster care the child lost more than 25 pounds and his health issues were GREATLY reduced. BUT removing children from their home whether the situation is bad or good is never a good idea. This all happened in less than three months that I had the case, before I moved to GA. The child did get to go back to his grandparents, but not until he was at a "healthier" weight.
  • becalee26
    becalee26 Posts: 185 Member
    I saw an obese 4.5 year old and it made me very sad! Having a daughter who just turned 5, I cannot understand how someone so young can be so big and when I saw this girl was big I mean she was BIG. So sad! She was so sweet and kept talking to me and all I could think about was how this child was going to be picked on her whole entire life. I hope someone intervenes!
  • andreahanlon
    andreahanlon Posts: 263 Member
    Obesity is a cultural issue in America. Although I do indeed wish my parents would have intervened more in my case (I reached morbid obesity at age 16), I do not think it would be right to charge them with neglect, even though our family had plenty of issues. My parents are still overweight. If they aren't able to help themselves and enact tools to lower their weight (even though they have tried, tried, tried), what right does the government have to take away their children?

    Would you charge smokers with neglect if their child takes up tobacco use (as many do)? I've heard many situations where parents give their children smokeless tobacco because it is there way of life, yet tobacco use is the #1 cause of preventable death and causes as vast amount of diseases. In the same way, obesity is a major cause of preventable death. But the issue won't be solved by blaming people. Our entire culture has a problem, and even though individual cases could be neglect, I would say the vast majority have many, many more factors involved and it would be unjust to put sole blame on the parents.

    What about the unhealthy offerings in the schools? What about the media's constant battering of sugary, low-nutrition products? What about our cultural obsession with fast food? What about the American attitudes of "breaking bread" together and feeling like every get together or party has to have food? There are way too many factors involved to go to the extreme of charging parents of obese children with abuse or neglect.

    And as a side note, some parents give their children foods like ice cream and such as a way of rewarding them and showing them love. Misguided? Sure. But how many parents are guilty of giving a child something he wants when he whines or to reward him, even though it is unhealthy? We'd have to charge the whole country.

    Obesity can be the result of neglect. But it can also be the result of "love." It can be the result of poor coping skills on behalf of the child. It can be the result of trauma unrelated to the parents' actions. It's way to big of an issue to say that obesity falls into the category of child abuse/neglect.
  • LJCDuke11
    LJCDuke11 Posts: 103 Member
    Obesity is a cultural issue in America. Although I do indeed wish my parents would have intervened more in my case (I reached morbid obesity at age 16), I do not think it would be right to charge them with neglect, even though our family had plenty of issues. My parents are still overweight. If they aren't able to help themselves and enact tools to lower their weight (even though they have tried, tried, tried), what right does the government have to take away their children?

    Would you charge smokers with neglect if their child takes up tobacco use (as many do)? I've heard many situations where parents give their children smokeless tobacco because it is there way of life, yet tobacco use is the #1 cause of preventable death and causes as vast amount of diseases. In the same way, obesity is a major cause of preventable death. But the issue won't be solved by blaming people. Our entire culture has a problem, and even though individual cases could be neglect, I would say the vast majority have many, many more factors involved and it would be unjust to put sole blame on the parents.

    What about the unhealthy offerings in the schools? What about the media's constant battering of sugary, low-nutrition products? What about our cultural obsession with fast food? What about the American attitudes of "breaking bread" together and feeling like every get together or party has to have food? There are way too many factors involved to go to the extreme of charging parents of obese children with abuse or neglect.

    And as a side note, some parents give their children foods like ice cream and such as a way of rewarding them and showing them love. Misguided? Sure. But how many parents are guilty of giving a child something he wants when he whines or to reward him, even though it is unhealthy? We'd have to charge the whole country.

    Obesity can be the result of neglect. But it can also be the result of "love." It can be the result of poor coping skills on behalf of the child. It can be the result of trauma unrelated to the parents' actions. It's way to big of an issue to say that obesity falls into the category of child abuse/neglect.

    SOOO MANY good points!! I know.. I 've been educating my sel fon our outlook towards this as a society and no body (food industy) wants to take any responsibility and say, "There's a better way to live! Lets make some changes!"
  • lkm111
    lkm111 Posts: 629 Member
    There are so many other factors that contribute to obesity in children. If parents are going to be held accountable, then school cafeterias and other parts of the food industry should, too. I think that our food supply is seriously messed up, but that is just my opinion.
  • Tammy2bbetter
    Tammy2bbetter Posts: 4
    I agree that parents shouldn't be punished but maybe ordered to take classes and receive therapy alone and as a family.Usually its not that people just love to eat poor foods but obese people usually have depression for one reason or another.The old saying goes..."its not what you're eating, its what is eating you!":ohwell:
  • janemartin02
    janemartin02 Posts: 2,653 Member
    I feel I have to respond.I have an overwt daughter who is 14.We were working with a dietician for 4 years.We are also working with her family dr.I don`t by junk.I make healthy meals daily.I have struggled with her to exercise.i`ve been on top of this since she got overwt.I have lost 80 lbs myself.
    I know there are a lot of parents with overwt children who don`t care what they eat.
    But I felt I had to respond about this topic.
    jane
  • LJCDuke11
    LJCDuke11 Posts: 103 Member
    There are so many other factors that contribute to obesity in children. If parents are going to be held accountable, then school cafeterias and other parts of the food industry should, too. I think that our food supply is seriously messed up, but that is just my opinion.

    I call it FACT!!!
  • LJCDuke11
    LJCDuke11 Posts: 103 Member
    I feel I have to respond.I have an overwt daughter who is 14.We were working with a dietician for 4 years.We are also working with her family dr.I don`t by junk.I make healthy meals daily.I have struggled with her to exercise.i`ve been on top of this since she got overwt.I have lost 80 lbs myself.
    I know there are a lot of parents with overwt children who don`t care what they eat.
    But I felt I had to respond about this topic.
    jane

    GLAD you posted!! I feel it's a COMPLETELY different situation when someone IS taking proactive measures to address the situation!! Thanks for the post!
  • CharlieBarleyMom
    CharlieBarleyMom Posts: 727 Member
    Education. Education. Education. Can I have some too please? I'm still learning and it's so hard to change the way I was allowed to eat when I was younger, not to mention the "children starving" tactics to make you eat everything on your plate. Then I was force dieted because I was 5'8" at 13 years old and quite big boned. Looking back on pictures I don't see a fat girl... but I have memories of being made to feel fat. Ouch.

    So yes, education. Also, something has to be done about the cost of healthier food.

    It is absolutely cheaper for a family that is fighting with bills and poverty to feed their children from a $1 menu than it is to buy fresh fruits and veggies.

    All situations are different. Just like with every other topic. Intervene but don't set ONE rule for all.
  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
    I am VERY sensitive about this subject as I have a younger half sister (9yrs old) who is just massive for her age. She's fairly tall, but she's nearly about as big around as she is tall. Her Mother gives her poor food and most of the time just fast food. She ate very healthy when her mother and my father were married, but now that they've divorced, they've really let her eating get out of control. I am CONSTANTLY scolding my father for giving her his portion of his dinner: "If you can't finish it, why should she??" and her mother, if I could make her disappear, I would. She's just a horrible human being. She calls her fat and lazy... which all she does is encourage it by purchasing my sister NIntendo DS games and other hand held activities to keep her occupied.

    I came over to visit my sister and Dad and she was in the house, sitting on the couch playing her DS. I told her to come outside and play and she informed me that her back hurt and her feet hurt. It literally makes me want to scream. I know my Dad needs education on proper eating (He was not my main caregiver, that was my mother) but it's so frustrating and saddening to see my sister like this. She's slower than all the other kids, bigger than them as well. She has NO friends to have sleepovers with and I'm afraid of what will happen to her once she figures out that she's "different" for her size:(
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    I am VERY sensitive about this subject as I have a younger half sister (9yrs old) who is just massive for her age. She's fairly tall, but she's nearly about as big around as she is tall. Her Mother gives her poor food and most of the time just fast food. She ate very healthy when her mother and my father were married, but now that they've divorced, they've really let her eating get out of control. I am CONSTANTLY scolding my father for giving her his portion of his dinner: "If you can't finish it, why should she??" and her mother, if I could make her disappear, I would. She's just a horrible human being. She calls her fat and lazy... which all she does is encourage it by purchasing my sister NIntendo DS games and other hand held activities to keep her occupied.

    I came over to visit my sister and Dad and she was in the house, sitting on the couch playing her DS. I told her to come outside and play and she informed me that her back hurt and her feet hurt. It literally makes me want to scream. I know my Dad needs education on proper eating (He was not my main caregiver, that was my mother) but it's so frustrating and saddening to see my sister like this. She's slower than all the other kids, bigger than them as well. She has NO friends to have sleepovers with and I'm afraid of what will happen to her once she figures out that she's "different" for her size:(

    I am glad you are trying your hardest! I'd wish someone had intervened when I was a child.
  • kdchick99
    kdchick99 Posts: 104 Member
    At least you are trying to do the right thing! Your good habits will rub off on your daughter and she's still young. The sad issue is children now are growing up with eating issues from being overweight to children being extremely underweight. Teaching her now the right way will save her many years later. Good job!
  • kdchick99
    kdchick99 Posts: 104 Member
    I agree with the classes and therapy 100%!!!!!!!!!!! BUT talking about all side of this issue. What do we do when the parents still don't comply with the classes or therapy? Do we continue to let them harm the child?
  • 3LittleMonkeys
    3LittleMonkeys Posts: 373 Member
    It could also be time management - they don't have time to cook dinner, so takeout five times a week is okay for them.

    I think this is cop-out. It is neither quicker or less expensive to drive thru for dinner than it is to purchase and prepare dinner. I think starting with raw food and preparing it is best, but when time prevents there are hundreds if not thousands of healthy options that cost less than even the dollar menu, because let's face it, your children didn't get fat eating one jr. burger for a dollar. Pre-bagged mixed salads, steam in the microwave veggies or fish, canned low sodium vegetables and meats, low-fat yogurt or yogurt drinks, minute rice, whole grain coucous (dump in a bag of frozen mixed veggies and you have a tasty side dish in < 10 min.) You can make healthy omelets in less time than you can load the kids in the car. There are many quick and low cost healthy options.

    Agreed. There are plenty of ways to have healthy foods/meals available.
  • 3LittleMonkeys
    3LittleMonkeys Posts: 373 Member
    I posted a rant earlier about someone I know that is a large woman who has very large children who I feel is guilty of child abuse/neglect because she will feed her kids larger portions than most adults can eat then call them Fat *kitten* and Pigs! Now instead of putting down the fork herself and looking at what example she is setting for them she finds it easier to belittle them! These are very young kids too!

    This is verbal abuse. :frown:
  • 3LittleMonkeys
    3LittleMonkeys Posts: 373 Member
    I feel I have to respond.I have an overwt daughter who is 14.We were working with a dietician for 4 years.We are also working with her family dr.I don`t by junk.I make healthy meals daily.I have struggled with her to exercise.i`ve been on top of this since she got overwt.I have lost 80 lbs myself.
    I know there are a lot of parents with overwt children who don`t care what they eat.
    But I felt I had to respond about this topic.
    jane

    But you are trying! Totally different than Parent's that don't care.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I feel I have to respond.I have an overwt daughter who is 14.We were working with a dietician for 4 years.We are also working with her family dr.I don`t by junk.I make healthy meals daily.I have struggled with her to exercise.i`ve been on top of this since she got overwt.I have lost 80 lbs myself.
    I know there are a lot of parents with overwt children who don`t care what they eat.
    But I felt I had to respond about this topic.
    jane

    But you are trying! Totally different than Parent's that don't care.

    Yes, absolutely. You are not contributing to or ignoring the problem. You have recognized it and are working on it.
  • KelliH729
    KelliH729 Posts: 208 Member
    I think no...I think it is just getting too involved in someone's personal life. I do agree with others that the parents and children should be offered some kind of education on how to get healthy but I have found that until someone makes the decision to get healthy (whether adult or child), you cannot MAKE them.

    That said, I think kids need to get off the couch, away from the video games, TV and computer and get outside. I was very rarely in the house during the day when I was a kid.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I'd be curious to know how you feel about children that are not overweight but are fed a diet rich in fast food and nutrient lacking pre-packaged junk food? I think that is just as neglectful and abusive. Just because a child isn't fat doesn't mean they are healthy or that they are being given the tools to stay healthy into adulthood.
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