No support :(

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  • dfborders
    dfborders Posts: 474 Member
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    Not knowing his side of the story and how long the two of you have been together and not knowing how good your relationship is otherwise perhaps you need to have a heart to heart with him. First, don't expect him to understand how you feel or to be able to read your mind. Explain to him how those comments hurt your feelings and are undermining. Second, depending on how many times you have dieted and possibly failed, explain to him that you are doing this to become healthier and happier with yourself. When you are healthier and happier life overall is better. Then try to explain to him that trying to eat properly and exercising properly is not easy and that, yes, you may fall off the wagon from time to time. And when you pick yourself up, dust yourself off you need him to be supportive of you and not condescending! Also, you said that he was supportive in the beginning? Is there a possibility that you indulged this weekend and now he thinks that you aren't in it for the long haul. Again, explain to him that you can't always follow a nutritious lifestyle there will be times that you eat something maybe you shouldn't or you have a larger portion than you should.

    Sorry if I am writing a lot but I have gone through this with my husband and to be fair he has seen me waste thousands of dollars on gym memberships, home equipment, dieting programs, pills, etc. He has also seen me make myself sick and miserable trying to follow a program. So when I first joined MFP he wasn't very supportive. But we talked and I gave him full access to my MFP account so he literally can sign in whenever he wants, without me knowing, and check up on me. Now he is very supportive and will even help me out by planning dinner around my calorie intake for the day:smile:

    If none of that works for you then you do have to decide if this is a general way that your boyfriend may handle future endeavors you try to take on and then you will have to decide if that is an attitude you want to live with long term.

    Good luck and if you need support please feel free to friend me...
  • ohwhataday
    ohwhataday Posts: 1,398 Member
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    Yea what an *kitten*. He didn't have to say that even if he thought it. I know how frustrating it can be to feel like you're doing it alone. You can do it!!
  • nicbic123
    nicbic123 Posts: 75 Member
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    sorry to hear that....there is always the possibility that he is not happy with his own life/progress etc...some people dont like to see others succeed when they are feeling that way...quite often because they are sometimes worried about being left behind...not saying that necessarily applies to you bf.....who knows......just keep it going & show prove him wrong!!!!
  • Iceskatefanrn
    Iceskatefanrn Posts: 489 Member
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    Here's your reply...

    "Oh sweetheart, thank you so much for making roast chicken, I love that and it's in line with "the new me" and my new way of eating!

    I know I've failed to follow through on healthier eating in the past, but I'm so happy for another chance, and things have been going just great for me! Now I'm on the EDDD.... the Every Damn Day Diet, and today is another Damn Day, so I'm on my diet TODAY.

    So, for today, just for today, can you please make the potatoes the way I need them so I can enjoy your terrific cooking? If that's too much of a bother, then please, make them the way you like them. I'll be glad to make something else for myself.

    Tomorrow will be another Damn Day, so let's plan tomorrow's meals too, so I can continue this success. Won't it be great when I get myself healthy? And I'll be successful this time, with your support... it means so much to me!"

    If he makes the potatoes "the bad way" and puts them on your plate, BE STRONG... and just imagine. Those potatoes are going to be WASTE... do you want them in the trash or packed on your hips? Either way they will become WASTE, but in the trash they won't affect your weight loss efforts! (If you have a dog, feed the potatoes to the dog...)

    Stick with it without being judgemental towards him - in the long run, when he sees what you've done with yourself he might want to join you in your healthier eating committment!

    Good luck!

    :drinker:

    Ice
  • sarahp86
    sarahp86 Posts: 692 Member
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    Our relationship is very strong and he is my best friend which is why I got upset. I think I've thrown myself into this and I'm constantly talking about it which is probably headwrecking!

    But thanks everyone for your replies! I love the support and encouragement on this site it really is great :)
  • clockhead
    clockhead Posts: 20 Member
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    maybe he asked you why you were bothering cause he's thinks your fine the way you are?? Or if he thinks it is too stressfull for you to be worying about it so much he feels you should not do that to yourself! Does he worry about his weight?
  • legmotor
    legmotor Posts: 197 Member
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    It sounds like the words of an insecure man. Better to find out now than later in life when your relationship status might be more committed. My guess is this isn't the only time he hasn't been supportive or you wouldn't have vented here. Good luck!! If you believe in you then that is all that matters.

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