Relationships = Fat Gain?
Kohadre
Posts: 316
I was curious as to what the opinions of the MFP community might be, but personally I think there is a direct correlation between being in a relationship (short term, long term, committed - doesn't matter) and a decrease in Physical Fitness.
I only say this because the last girl I was with was in constant need of attention, advocated that I "didn't need to work out" and encouraged eating of obviously unhealthy foods on a frequent basis.
I don't doubt that being in a relationship obviously has its advantages as well but once again im just curious as to some of your opinions.
I only say this because the last girl I was with was in constant need of attention, advocated that I "didn't need to work out" and encouraged eating of obviously unhealthy foods on a frequent basis.
I don't doubt that being in a relationship obviously has its advantages as well but once again im just curious as to some of your opinions.
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Replies
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lol i got fat in my last relationship cuz I had another baby and a sick toddler so i wasnt able to do much for quite a long time.he lost 60lb and gained it all back.im just focusing on me and my kids now and losing0
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That is probably common, but I feel like if exercise is that important to you it should be important to your partner as well. You can find lots of ways to be active together.0
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I agree with you 100%. I'm not sure I would say less activity but poor eating. I know that when I recently was with someone, we'd go to the movies and he'd insist on getting popcorn and candy. I NEVER order that crap. I'd have some popcorn but skip the candy. Then we'd go to dinner. He'd order appetizers which again, I never do. When people get comfortable, it seems they tend to not car about their appearance as much. That's what I think anyway.0
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Totally. At least, all the relationships I've been in. It's not so much that we discourage each other from working out, it's just that we don't ENcourage each other, and it's just so easy to sit around and watch TV and well, might as well order a pizza. Nah, let's just go out to eat.
Much more eating out and you always have the other person's appetite crowding yours, so you end up eating when you might not be exactly hungry.
But...I gained weight last year after breaking off a 3-year relationship, during which I stayed a healthy weight. So who knows?0 -
It happens for me when i'm with my boyfriend on the weekends we eat a lot more than usually but during the week we both get back on track0
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I've been with my partner for 3 years now and I've still been getting fitter and leaner and my partner has started to slowly change her lifestyle to a healthy and more active one too.
I think it depends on the relationship and how you frame your workout time. Is it a workout so you can look hotter and just be less fat or is it a workout to increase your cardiovascular health, increase your lifespan and quality of life and to put you in a better position for the future if/when you have children? When you phrase your need to exercise in order to prolong your life for the benefit of being their longer for your partner and future family there is no good argument to use against you0 -
I tend to gain weight in my relationships because I'm happy:) I lose it all when we break up. I'm attempting to break my cycle by losing before (hopefully not) we break up, haha0
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Depends on the nature of the relationship. I've dated a lot of chubby chasers (even when I was skinny!). They always encouraged me to put on weight. At first I didn't know any better and just did what they pleased. Bad McKay!
My last bf was seriously limited physically and I gained about 30 lbs. in 9 months mimicking his lifestyle. But I've gotten a handle on what's important to me and am about to start dating again and I'm looking to meet active guys. If you sit on your butt in front of the TV more often than you go out and play with the dogs, it's not happening with me. :laugh:
I refuse to compromise my activity/nutrition goals for a man ever again. Lesson learned.0 -
I gained a lot of weight when I moved in with my boyfriend and his family. They never had family dinner and everything was microwave. We tended to go out to eat a lot as well. When it really came down to it I lost my routine. I was so use to how I did everything and it was really tough to be together all the time. We then got our own place and I was convinced it would just fall off because I would being buying the food. It is now two years later and I am just figuring it all out.0
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DEFINITELY.
I gained 40 lbs dating my boyfriend. Just think... watching movies, eating dinner out often, baking cookies and brownies every so often. It's just a recipe for weight gain disaster! I think both partners get "lazy" because every second my boyfriend tells me, "I love your booty" or "I love those sexy curves," so I'm always thinking, "yup, he loves me the way I am, chunky and all! I don't need to lose weight or change!"
Just my opinion though (from personal experience, clearly.)0 -
I think on some level this is true. For my husband and I it was more that we just got very comfortable with each other and I guess we got lazy. We're trying to motivate each other now and make a lifestyle change. I guess it took two to get fat and now it'll take two to get healthy!0
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My husband and I met shortly after I graduated high school, and the both of us were on weight loss kicks. When we got comfortable with each other, we started eating out and spoiling one another.
We are now trying to fix our weight gain. I've gained a significant amount of weight, and so has my husband, so we're trying to lose weight now, but it is tough. We are our own worst enemies! We are finally on the same page again, and it feels good.
Keep your head up. You'll find a girl that has the same outlook as you; you just have to be patient.0 -
There is a definite correlation!! I gained 40 lbs when I started dating a guy in my past!! I figured out that it was because he took me out to eat all the time and I stopped working out! After we broke up I lost 20lbs and am fighting to get the last 20 off lol! If your girl is complaining about you working out just show her a pic of an older dude with a beer belly and say..."you wanna be lovin' up on this or me when I am in shape?" Maybe she will see the importance of exercise! Also if she is that needy or clingy make it a point to go something active together or just ask if she wants to go with ya! All I know is don't let someone else determine your fate and fat..cause it is much harder to lose than to gain0
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hahaha.. you should have been dating me. My boyfriend (who i have been with for about a year and a half) used to be a varsity football player and he was an all- state wrestler in high school, so you would think he would like to workout? noppppe..
When I met him, I weighed about 150 pounds, and I worked out about 5 times a week, and he never wanted to workout with me.
About 9 months into our relationship I weighed about 140 pounds (didn't even try losing weight), and I worked out 5 times a week, but he still never wanted to workout with me!
About a year in, I started MFP. I am now around 130 pounds, and he still doesn't work out with me :P hahaha but now I work out 7 times a week. running between 5-8 miles a day =D !!
He has actually lost a few pounds (from like 150 to 145.. he's 5'8"), but that's probably because I am constantly begging him to go on walks or lift with me or something.0 -
I think the problem here that everyone seems to be having is the reporting of feeling 'comfortable' with a partner. The whole mentality of looking good is important to attract a mate and once you have found one you can relax. The whole caring about appearance and using fitness and nutrition to look good is the problem in general. If your goal is consistent strength and fitness related achievements then regardless of whether others tihnk you are attractive or not does not matter and you never have an excuse to jump off the bandwagon. As a result you will never put on weight in relationships0
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I think the problem here that everyone seems to be having is the reporting of feeling 'comfortable' with a partner. The whole mentality of looking good is important to attract a mate and once you have found one you can relax. The whole caring about appearance and using fitness and nutrition to look good is the problem in general. If your goal is consistent strength and fitness related achievements then regardless of whether others tihnk you are attractive or not does not matter and you never have an excuse to jump off the bandwagon. As a result you will never put on weight in relationships
Yup, I can totally agree with that0 -
I would agree with this also. I think that as my level of comfort with my boyfriend got higher and higher (we've been together almost 4 years now), I wasn't embarrassed to pig out in front of him and to be lazy haha. But we're getting healthy and losing weight together now, so relationships have their benefits on health too0
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Interesting...
In my last long term relationship (a little over 2 years) I gained a little over 40lbs. But i my case I think it was because he wasn't into any of the outdoors activities (running, hiking, mountain biking) that I liked to do and he was jealous if I wanted to go do those things with friends who were into them (male friends). So it always turned into a fight if I wanted to do them and eventually I decided it wasn't worth the fight and quit going out and doing things. And he did all of the cooking in our house and he never made anything healthy and got offended if I didn't want to eat what he cooked, so I usually just ate it instead of making something else for me.
But now I am dating again and it isn't serious and we don't live together so I go out and run or hike whenever I want. He is also into doing things like that too so even when we are together we are more active than I was in my last relationship. But, the problem with him is that it's kinda new so there is more doing things like going out to eat.
I think that a lot of the time is that people let themselves go when they have someone (which is dumb).0 -
Honestly I think it totally depends on the people involved and the nature of the relationship. I've been with my boyfriend for years now and I'm inspired now more than ever to exercise and work out thanks to him. He's an athlete and has to stay fit so I've just joined him in some of his workouts, and by doing his he has helped me improve my form and generally has taught me a lot. Also, exercising is just something else that we can do together! We often try to think of activities that involve moving around, like playing sports or going on a hike or something.0
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It's a huge mental thing! When me and my bf first started dating, we were going out at least once a week, he was buying me chocolates and all sorts and no matter what I complained about my image, he would shoot it down and say he loves me no matter what. Loves the way I look. So you kinda get ... settled. But I never really have and am making sure he eats more (skinny little git he is) and I eat less and work out more!0
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I gained quite a bit when I met my husband 11 years ago. I moved in with him and his (now mine too=)) five year old daughter and I 'treated' us too much. Garlic bread or yummy buns, lots of cheesy dishes and baking and desserts almost every night. We spent a lot of non-active time together too - watching movies and playing card games. Our outings were going to Tims or DQ and then a 'drive'. My husband gained some but mostly he just lost quite a bit of muscle tone because before meeting me and having 2 more children with me, he worked out a lot on his own. Now we are 'clean eating' - low or no preservatives as much as possible. Treats are a lot less frequent. We aren't really active but I try to get us all out for walks and hikes when I can. It was definitely a conscious decision to change to a healthier lifestyle.0
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]Also if she is that needy or clingy make it a point to go something active together or just ask if she wants to go with ya! All I know is don't let someone else determine your fate and fat..cause it is much harder to lose than to gain
Well she was clingy/needy to the point that I was getting texts about every other minute, if I didn't respond in 30 seconds or less something was wrong, and she never wanted to do anything together other than watching a movie, even though I begged her to try going to the gym with me at least once (never happened).
Needless to say we aren't together anymore.0 -
I definitely agree. I was in pretty good shape and had decent eating habits before i started dating my boyfriend. I'm not saying he's the reason i started eating bad and not exercising which led to weight gain because i didn't really exercise too much before we started dating and my eating habits were alright but there are some bad habits that i picked up from him. For example, going to fast food places he would get 2 sandwiches, a large fry, and large drink- i would have never done that before i met him, i barely ate fast food and when i did it was always 1 sandwich, a small fry, and if i got a drink it would be small. So yeah i would say i started eating bigger portions since we started dating & more fast food. It was hard because we both lived with our parents and we couldn't always cook meals plus he worked 2nd shift so by the time we hung out it was late and fast food was just convenient. We've been living together for about 2 years now and in the beginning we were still eating bad but now we've realized that we have both gained a lot of weight and have a very unhealthy lifestyle and decided together that we wanted to change that. Now we make a lot of food at home and try to make better choices and barely eat any fast food. We weren't really paying attention to what we were eating before because at the time it didn't seem like a big deal and we were happy, but after 3 years and about 40 lbs of gained weight for each of us we realized we gotta do something now before it gets worse. I think being in a relationship you kind of let yourself go because 1. you're happy and going out to eat and getting food is fun to do when you're with someone and 2. you've found someone so you aren't really looking anymore and don't need to impress anyone. It's just sometimes it can get out of hand and it's just going to have a negative impact if you keep going down that road.0
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Nope. It totally depends on the person you're dating and if you allow yourself to get suckered into loosing your fitness. The man I'm dating right now is a health nut, marathon runner, and a gym junky. No way in the world would I slack off when he's around...he keeps me motivated to keep in shape. My ex husband on the other hand was a total slob and didn't care one iota about health and fitness....and yet I didn't let myself go. I gained a total of 5 pounds while being with him (11 years) and that was left over pregnancy weight. Don't allow a relationship to change who you are....if the person you're dating truly likes you they will accept your fitness/health obession.0
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I was curious as to what the opinions of the MFP community might be, but personally I think there is a direct correlation between being in a relationship (short term, long term, committed - doesn't matter) and a decrease in Physical Fitness.
I only say this because the last girl I was with was in constant need of attention, advocated that I "didn't need to work out" and encouraged eating of obviously unhealthy foods on a frequent basis.
I don't doubt that being in a relationship obviously has its advantages as well but once again im just curious as to some of your opinions.
found this interesting because I was thin and very active until I hit about 30...then spent 4 years in a relationship with a guy who was just like the girl you mentioned above I don't "blame" the relationship for my weight gain, exactly, but I stopped spending time on my own doing things I loved (like working out) and that ultimately hurt my physical fitness...0 -
This has been a very interesting thread to read! My boyfriend of 4 years and I joined MFP together a month ago, but it was the OPPOSITE of what most of you have been saying. We are at such a level of comfort with each other that we discussed our goals and encourage each other to reach them...including our personal weight insecurities. It took me years of being with him to come to a level of feeling "ok" talking with him about my weight and how I've never been able to shed my weight, or that I have never been small and don't even know what to expect. I have never gained weight in any of my relationships, but I hope that in this one, I will be losing and we will be cheering each other on the whole time (with all of your help!) :happy:0
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My last bf was seriously limited physically and I gained about 30 lbs. in 9 months mimicking his lifestyle.
this sounds much like my last serious relationship (a LONG time ago)--I gained about 60 pounds over a couple of years...
I refuse to compromise my activity/nutrition goals for a man ever again. Lesson learned.
AMEN SISTAH0 -
I definitely eat a lot more when my boyfriend is around! He eats whatever he wants and it's difficult to not indulge as well!0
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I think it completely depends on the people. My boyfriend now thinks health is very important and eats well and exercises and we try to make healthy decisions when together too always. Obviously there are times we treat ourselves, but I think I eat better with him than I would on my own and vice versa because our individual desires to be healthy and fit feed off of each other's and are stronger than before.0
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I had a weird occurrence happen that's related to your topic, Kohadre,
A relationship I was in ended rather badly and abruptly, on account of her being a lying, cheating... well, you can guess the words I'm looking for.
Anyway, very beautiful girl, and very fit.
One year later to the day, I've lost about 70 pounds and am in the best shape of my life, and I find out randomly from a friend that she's gained close to 40lbs and is a generally miserable person now.
Sad? Yes.
Do I think she deserves it? Yes.
So, I'm sorta on the fence about your idea, but could definitely see where you're coming from.0
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