Relationships = Fat Gain?

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Kohadre
Kohadre Posts: 316
in Fitness and Exercise
I was curious as to what the opinions of the MFP community might be, but personally I think there is a direct correlation between being in a relationship (short term, long term, committed - doesn't matter) and a decrease in Physical Fitness.

I only say this because the last girl I was with was in constant need of attention, advocated that I "didn't need to work out" and encouraged eating of obviously unhealthy foods on a frequent basis.

I don't doubt that being in a relationship obviously has its advantages as well but once again im just curious as to some of your opinions.
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Replies

  • dstrbdangel
    dstrbdangel Posts: 29
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    lol i got fat in my last relationship cuz I had another baby and a sick toddler so i wasnt able to do much for quite a long time.he lost 60lb and gained it all back.im just focusing on me and my kids now and losing :)
  • tlwicklund
    tlwicklund Posts: 24
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    That is probably common, but I feel like if exercise is that important to you it should be important to your partner as well. You can find lots of ways to be active together.
  • bflicker11
    bflicker11 Posts: 296
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    I agree with you 100%. I'm not sure I would say less activity but poor eating. I know that when I recently was with someone, we'd go to the movies and he'd insist on getting popcorn and candy. I NEVER order that crap. I'd have some popcorn but skip the candy. Then we'd go to dinner. He'd order appetizers which again, I never do. When people get comfortable, it seems they tend to not car about their appearance as much. That's what I think anyway.
  • maryd523
    maryd523 Posts: 661 Member
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    Totally. At least, all the relationships I've been in. It's not so much that we discourage each other from working out, it's just that we don't ENcourage each other, and it's just so easy to sit around and watch TV and well, might as well order a pizza. Nah, let's just go out to eat.

    Much more eating out and you always have the other person's appetite crowding yours, so you end up eating when you might not be exactly hungry.

    But...I gained weight last year after breaking off a 3-year relationship, during which I stayed a healthy weight. So who knows?
  • pkarim
    pkarim Posts: 171
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    It happens for me when i'm with my boyfriend on the weekends we eat a lot more than usually but during the week we both get back on track
  • Rompa_87
    Rompa_87 Posts: 291 Member
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    I've been with my partner for 3 years now and I've still been getting fitter and leaner and my partner has started to slowly change her lifestyle to a healthy and more active one too.

    I think it depends on the relationship and how you frame your workout time. Is it a workout so you can look hotter and just be less fat or is it a workout to increase your cardiovascular health, increase your lifespan and quality of life and to put you in a better position for the future if/when you have children? When you phrase your need to exercise in order to prolong your life for the benefit of being their longer for your partner and future family there is no good argument to use against you
  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
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    I tend to gain weight in my relationships because I'm happy:) I lose it all when we break up. I'm attempting to break my cycle by losing before (hopefully not) we break up, haha
  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
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    Depends on the nature of the relationship. I've dated a lot of chubby chasers (even when I was skinny!). They always encouraged me to put on weight. At first I didn't know any better and just did what they pleased. Bad McKay!

    My last bf was seriously limited physically and I gained about 30 lbs. in 9 months mimicking his lifestyle. But I've gotten a handle on what's important to me and am about to start dating again and I'm looking to meet active guys. If you sit on your butt in front of the TV more often than you go out and play with the dogs, it's not happening with me. :laugh:

    I refuse to compromise my activity/nutrition goals for a man ever again. Lesson learned. :)
  • ak_in_ak
    ak_in_ak Posts: 657 Member
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    I gained a lot of weight when I moved in with my boyfriend and his family. They never had family dinner and everything was microwave. We tended to go out to eat a lot as well. When it really came down to it I lost my routine. I was so use to how I did everything and it was really tough to be together all the time. We then got our own place and I was convinced it would just fall off because I would being buying the food. It is now two years later and I am just figuring it all out.
  • abalicious
    abalicious Posts: 361 Member
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    DEFINITELY.

    I gained 40 lbs dating my boyfriend. Just think... watching movies, eating dinner out often, baking cookies and brownies every so often. It's just a recipe for weight gain disaster! I think both partners get "lazy" because every second my boyfriend tells me, "I love your booty" or "I love those sexy curves," so I'm always thinking, "yup, he loves me the way I am, chunky and all! I don't need to lose weight or change!"

    Just my opinion though (from personal experience, clearly.)
  • tiffwhit16
    tiffwhit16 Posts: 76
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    I think on some level this is true. For my husband and I it was more that we just got very comfortable with each other and I guess we got lazy. We're trying to motivate each other now and make a lifestyle change. I guess it took two to get fat and now it'll take two to get healthy!
  • Victoriaaah
    Victoriaaah Posts: 23
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    My husband and I met shortly after I graduated high school, and the both of us were on weight loss kicks. When we got comfortable with each other, we started eating out and spoiling one another.

    We are now trying to fix our weight gain. I've gained a significant amount of weight, and so has my husband, so we're trying to lose weight now, but it is tough. We are our own worst enemies! We are finally on the same page again, and it feels good.

    Keep your head up. You'll find a girl that has the same outlook as you; you just have to be patient. :)
  • alissaanne
    alissaanne Posts: 34
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    There is a definite correlation!! I gained 40 lbs when I started dating a guy in my past!! I figured out that it was because he took me out to eat all the time and I stopped working out! After we broke up I lost 20lbs and am fighting to get the last 20 off lol! If your girl is complaining about you working out just show her a pic of an older dude with a beer belly and say..."you wanna be lovin' up on this or me when I am in shape?" Maybe she will see the importance of exercise! Also if she is that needy or clingy make it a point to go something active together or just ask if she wants to go with ya! All I know is don't let someone else determine your fate and fat..cause it is much harder to lose than to gain ;)
  • barbiex3
    barbiex3 Posts: 1,036 Member
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    hahaha.. you should have been dating me. My boyfriend (who i have been with for about a year and a half) used to be a varsity football player and he was an all- state wrestler in high school, so you would think he would like to workout? noppppe..

    When I met him, I weighed about 150 pounds, and I worked out about 5 times a week, and he never wanted to workout with me.
    About 9 months into our relationship I weighed about 140 pounds (didn't even try losing weight), and I worked out 5 times a week, but he still never wanted to workout with me!
    About a year in, I started MFP. I am now around 130 pounds, and he still doesn't work out with me :P hahaha but now I work out 7 times a week. running between 5-8 miles a day =D !!

    He has actually lost a few pounds (from like 150 to 145.. he's 5'8"), but that's probably because I am constantly begging him to go on walks or lift with me or something.
  • Rompa_87
    Rompa_87 Posts: 291 Member
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    I think the problem here that everyone seems to be having is the reporting of feeling 'comfortable' with a partner. The whole mentality of looking good is important to attract a mate and once you have found one you can relax. The whole caring about appearance and using fitness and nutrition to look good is the problem in general. If your goal is consistent strength and fitness related achievements then regardless of whether others tihnk you are attractive or not does not matter and you never have an excuse to jump off the bandwagon. As a result you will never put on weight in relationships
  • Kohadre
    Kohadre Posts: 316
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    I think the problem here that everyone seems to be having is the reporting of feeling 'comfortable' with a partner. The whole mentality of looking good is important to attract a mate and once you have found one you can relax. The whole caring about appearance and using fitness and nutrition to look good is the problem in general. If your goal is consistent strength and fitness related achievements then regardless of whether others tihnk you are attractive or not does not matter and you never have an excuse to jump off the bandwagon. As a result you will never put on weight in relationships

    Yup, I can totally agree with that :)
  • sm0113
    sm0113 Posts: 89 Member
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    I would agree with this also. I think that as my level of comfort with my boyfriend got higher and higher (we've been together almost 4 years now), I wasn't embarrassed to pig out in front of him and to be lazy haha. But we're getting healthy and losing weight together now, so relationships have their benefits on health too :smile:
  • elliecolorado
    elliecolorado Posts: 1,040
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    Interesting...

    In my last long term relationship (a little over 2 years) I gained a little over 40lbs. But i my case I think it was because he wasn't into any of the outdoors activities (running, hiking, mountain biking) that I liked to do and he was jealous if I wanted to go do those things with friends who were into them (male friends). So it always turned into a fight if I wanted to do them and eventually I decided it wasn't worth the fight and quit going out and doing things. And he did all of the cooking in our house and he never made anything healthy and got offended if I didn't want to eat what he cooked, so I usually just ate it instead of making something else for me.

    But now I am dating again and it isn't serious and we don't live together so I go out and run or hike whenever I want. He is also into doing things like that too so even when we are together we are more active than I was in my last relationship. But, the problem with him is that it's kinda new so there is more doing things like going out to eat.

    I think that a lot of the time is that people let themselves go when they have someone (which is dumb).
  • denicka
    denicka Posts: 12
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    Honestly I think it totally depends on the people involved and the nature of the relationship. I've been with my boyfriend for years now and I'm inspired now more than ever to exercise and work out thanks to him. He's an athlete and has to stay fit so I've just joined him in some of his workouts, and by doing his he has helped me improve my form and generally has taught me a lot. Also, exercising is just something else that we can do together! We often try to think of activities that involve moving around, like playing sports or going on a hike or something. :)
  • freeloaves
    freeloaves Posts: 281
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    It's a huge mental thing! When me and my bf first started dating, we were going out at least once a week, he was buying me chocolates and all sorts and no matter what I complained about my image, he would shoot it down and say he loves me no matter what. Loves the way I look. So you kinda get ... settled. But I never really have and am making sure he eats more (skinny little git he is) and I eat less and work out more!

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