Hi I'm Monique & a self-sabbotager
moniquemtzquiros
Posts: 8 Member
Hi
4
Replies
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Hi Monique,
Awareness is the first step!
Welcome
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the moment i realized i was a self sabotager (seriously cant find a way to spell this my brain finds okay lol) my life changed and a year later im 100 pounds down! Go you. I learned to embrace it like i embraced my laziness and my cheapness and now all are a part of my day to day routine in good ways. funny how that works out with a bit of creativiity lol -high five-8
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I'm curious how you came to that conclusion. Is it enough of a revelation to make a difference? I mean, don't you need to know why in order to stop? I'm curious.2
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Looking over my data, I haven't been anywhere close to my goal weight since January 2016. In March 2016 I slowly began creeping up to & have maintained my weight between 220-230 for over a year. I am a weight saboteur (finally spelled correctly) & this is unacceptable.
My mood flucuates with my weight & vice-versa. I have dx's of Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder so my tracking on this app allows me to follow the progression or regression of my mental health.
I've spent lots of money on myself from conservative efforts like a gym & a trainer to extreme efforts like liposuction. Thus, it is very disheartening to know I've still allowed myself to sabbotage my own efforts.
I feel I should know better because I am 3 semesters away from a terminal degree in behavioral health...
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moniquemtzquiros wrote: »Looking over my data, I haven't been anywhere close to my goal weight since January 2016. In March 2016 I slowly began creeping up to & have maintained my weight between 220-230 for over a year. I am a weight saboteur (finally spelled correctly) & this is unacceptable.
My mood flucuates with my weight & vice-versa. I have dx's of Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder so my tracking on this app allows me to follow the progression or regression of my mental health.
I've spent lots of money on myself from conservative efforts like a gym & a trainer to extreme efforts like liposuction. Thus, it is very disheartening to know I've still allowed myself to sabbotage my own efforts.
I feel I should know better because I am 3 semesters away from a terminal degree in behavioral health...
Have you tried the thing that is actually important - eating at a deficit? It is free.
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What happens when you reach your goal?
For everyone, it is saboteur.2 -
I spent about a year of self sabotage honestly, and it was hard. I'd get back to doing what I knew worked (100lbs down, so I'd had good habits prior), and then hiccup. I have seen 300 on the scale a few times after the "I'm never going back to that again"s. It takes some dedication to yourself and your goals to reel that crap back in. Not lipo. Not a personal trainer.
Accountability in yourself is all you have in the end. I've got some pretty bad anxiety myself and moods? Yep. Turn it around and do great things. Luckily, accountability is free! Just trying at times. Good luck!3 -
Awareness is good, but negative labels are not. You will live up to the labels you give yourself. I encourage you to come up with some positive labels that and light with your goals!4
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Thank you both.0
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gebeziseva wrote: »moniquemtzquiros wrote: »Looking over my data, I haven't been anywhere close to my goal weight since January 2016. In March 2016 I slowly began creeping up to & have maintained my weight between 220-230 for over a year. I am a weight saboteur (finally spelled correctly) & this is unacceptable.
My mood flucuates with my weight & vice-versa. I have dx's of Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder so my tracking on this app allows me to follow the progression or regression of my mental health.
I've spent lots of money on myself from conservative efforts like a gym & a trainer to extreme efforts like liposuction. Thus, it is very disheartening to know I've still allowed myself to sabbotage my own efforts.
I feel I should know better because I am 3 semesters away from a terminal degree in behavioral health...
Have you tried the thing that is actually important - eating at a deficit? It is free.
Yes, I did that before & I lost 65 pounds. Of those 65 pounds I've gained 30 back. I weigh more now than I did 3 years ago when I delivered my last child. I wanted to rejoin MyFitnessPal and be faithful to it because I need to be accountable and I know everyone on here will help me do that.1 -
Well, since you are halfway to self awareness, finish the thought. Are there any negative consequences to reaching your goal?
There always are.
Facing those consequences will move your internal guerrilla war in to a direct confrontation....with yourself.
Excess weight has some advantages. It is a shield between yourself and...1 -
Instead of focusing on the 30 regained, try looking at the 35 you kept off, and count it as a small victory toward the end goal of long life and excellent health.
I am more motivated by the small steps I make along my journey than I ever was dreaming about what an ideal would look like. When I think about what I think I want to look like, I put myself down and see only self disappointment.
The truth is that when we reach a goal, if there is not a change in perspective, it can make us feel just as empty as wishing on stars, because we find ourselves looking in the distance with nothing to focus on. I am continually trying to focus on edifying others-personal friends, coworkers, etc, because the encouragement gets me through slump times.
This community has a lot to offer, even though we are strangers to one another.
Welcome back to the family of "still trying."2 -
moniquemtzquiros wrote: »
Why such an easy goal? At a typical woman's height you'd be still obese at 199.
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JeromeBarry1 wrote: »moniquemtzquiros wrote: »
Why such an easy goal? At a typical woman's height you'd be still obese at 199.
Did you really just say that?
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JeromeBarry1 wrote: »moniquemtzquiros wrote: »
Why such an easy goal? At a typical woman's height you'd be still obese at 199.
seriously?2 -
JeromeBarry1 wrote: »moniquemtzquiros wrote: »
Why such an easy goal? At a typical woman's height you'd be still obese at 199.
Because some people will get more motivation from meeting a preliminary goal then setting a new goal than from setting a more distant goal?
Saying "I will lose 10 pounds", doing it, saying it again, doing it again, etc. for a total of 50 pounds gives the exact same result as saying "I will lose 50 pounds" and then doing it. But some people find the first way easier. (And, certainly, some find the second way easier.)
Why not assume the OP knows her own personality and what will be more motivating to her?3 -
As a behavioral scientist, you know that you can change your behavior but not your weight, right? But that your weight is a function of your behavior? Aim to maintain good eating habits. But before you can do that, investigate what eating habits will be good for you.
Do any of these stories ring true to you?
http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_articles.asp?id=1969&utm_source=sparkpeople&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=best-of-sparkpeople&utm_content=F22 -
You've maintained your weight for over a year!!! That's awesome!
Sticking to your calorie limit is the whole idea.
Just make sure you set your weekly weight loss goal to be sustainable, and you can get to a healthy weight in as long as it takes.1 -
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JeromeBarry1 wrote: »moniquemtzquiros wrote: »
Why such an easy goal? At a typical woman's height you'd be still obese at 199.
Dude.... good grief.1 -
JeromeBarry1 wrote: »moniquemtzquiros wrote: »
Why such an easy goal? At a typical woman's height you'd be still obese at 199.
its called babysteps ya jerk.
i break down my goals into 5-10 pound increments. I lost 80 pounds doing it that way. ill lose the last 40 the same. its easier to think in smaller more realistic numbers than 120 pounds which can seem insurmountable.4 -
Hi, Monique. My name is Theresa and I'm right there with you.
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Hi Monique. I too am a self saboteur. I hesitated replying to your post after reading some of the responses, but here I am. For many of us it isn't just about the calorie deficit; it's about the why. It's like giving someone an address, no directions, and telling them not to get lost. How we get there is the first part of the challenge. If it were simply about the deficit, we'd all be at a healthy weight and sites like MFP wouldn't be necessary. Sometimes just getting through a portion of the day can be overwhelming. I haven't figured it all out yet but I sure understand your school of thought. It's so easy when things aren't going right to feel alone but you're not. I am where I was 7 years ago and I'm still working on it. I'm not giving up and I hope to read of your success no matter what it may be.2
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pizzafruit wrote: »Hi Monique. I too am a self saboteur. I hesitated replying to your post after reading some of the responses, but here I am. For many of us it isn't just about the calorie deficit; it's about the why. It's like giving someone an address, no directions, and telling them not to get lost. How we get there is the first part of the challenge. If it were simply about the deficit, we'd all be at a healthy weight and sites like MFP wouldn't be necessary. Sometimes just getting through a portion of the day can be overwhelming. I haven't figured it all out yet but I sure understand your school of thought. It's so easy when things aren't going right to feel alone but you're not. I am where I was 7 years ago and I'm still working on it. I'm not giving up and I hope to read of your success no matter what it may be.
Educate yourselves, that's my recommendation. Read the most helpful posts in this section:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300319/most-helpful-posts-general-diet-and-weight-loss-help-must-reads1 -
pizzafruit wrote: »Hi Monique. I too am a self saboteur. I hesitated replying to your post after reading some of the responses, but here I am. For many of us it isn't just about the calorie deficit; it's about the why. It's like giving someone an address, no directions, and telling them not to get lost. How we get there is the first part of the challenge. If it were simply about the deficit, we'd all be at a healthy weight and sites like MFP wouldn't be necessary. Sometimes just getting through a portion of the day can be overwhelming. I haven't figured it all out yet but I sure understand your school of thought. It's so easy when things aren't going right to feel alone but you're not. I am where I was 7 years ago and I'm still working on it. I'm not giving up and I hope to read of your success no matter what it may be.
Educate yourselves, that's my recommendation. Read the most helpful posts in this section:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300319/most-helpful-posts-general-diet-and-weight-loss-help-must-reads
Thank you for your thoughtful & understanding response.0 -
JeromeBarry1 wrote: »moniquemtzquiros wrote: »
Why such an easy goal? At a typical woman's height you'd be still obese at 199.
Well, weight-loss goals can mean the difference between success and failure. Realistic, well-planned weight-loss goals keep you focused and motivated. They provide a plan for change as you transition to a healthier lifestyle.
But not all weight-loss goals are helpful. Unrealistic and overly aggressive weight-loss goals can undermine your efforts. For me, being a saboteur I constantly undermine my own efforts when I set an overly aggressive goal however coming down so little is a lot more effective for me. Not only is it effective but it is realistic. For me, this is a SMART goal.
Specific. A good goal includes specific details. For example, a goal to exercise more is not specific, but a goal to walk 30 minutes after work every day is specific. You're declaring what you will do, how long you will do it, and when you will do it.
Measurable. If you can measure a goal, then you can objectively determine how successful you are at meeting the goal. A goal of eating better is not easily measured, but a goal of eating 1,200 calories a day can be measured. A goal of riding your bike is not measurable. A goal of riding your bike for 30 minutes three days a week is measurable.
Attainable. An attainable goal is one that you have enough time and resources to achieve. For example, if your work schedule doesn't allow spending an hour at the gym every day, then it wouldn't be an attainable goal. However, two weekday trips to the gym and two weekend trips might be attainable. If a particular type of exercise, such as running, is physically too difficult for you, then running every day would not be an attainable goal.
Realistic. For most people, a realistic outcome goal is losing 5 to 10 percent of their current weight. Process goals must also be realistic. For example, your doctor can help you determine a daily calorie goal based on your current weight and health. Setting an unrealistic goal may result in disappointment or the temptation to give up altogether.
Trackable. Goals are best achieved if you keep a record of your progress. If you have an outcome goal of losing 15 pounds, record your weight each week. If your goal is to eat 1,400 calories a day, keep a food diary. Keeping track can help you evaluate your progress and stay motivated.1
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