Depressed, and having no friends? Why

I'll be your friend I am 39, and don't have many friends either. I have always kept my circle small... but feel like now is the time to be more social.

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I'm sorry - that sucks, and I can kind of relate. I've got a few close friends NOW, but I've definitely gone through periods when I really didn't - I can be a little bit anti-social, and I'm not good at maintaining friendships. And I'm at an age where even those close friendships are mostly maintained by text message or a rare lunch - we're all busy. I miss the days when I was in college and me and my friends just hung out together, doing nothing. Adulthood doesn't really lend itself to that kind of friendship, and it can be lonely.

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I'm 32 now and I was like you when I was your age. I tend to get along a lot more with those who are older because my own generation often treats me with disdain or are interested in things I will never be interested in. And much like you, I've had adult responsibilities foisted on me since I was 16 or so, so it does make a difference how you view the world and what your experiences at a certain age will be.

There's nothing wrong with that, in my opinion. As to the depression and having no friends? Well, I'm in that boat, too. Difference is, I've dealt with life long anxiety and depression and true friends are extremely rare. Most people pass one another in life, stay adrift for awhile and then sail in opposite directions. People I was friends with for ten years are no longer there.

I have very few "friends" and only a couple of acquaintances now. And of those, none live where I do (I move every few years). And those I consider friends, well.. I've had to accept that they aren't going to talk to me most of the time because well.. life. I just had to learn to be okay on my own and deal with the depression when it comes.

As to the people in your age group? Well, I can't speak about them because I don't hang around people in their 20s often (anymore), but the people in my own age group were mostly rude, too. The ones that weren't were the people I associated with and they were still a rarity. I think that says more about how you are raised or not raised than anything about a specific generation.

Timshel_ wrote: »

meberle53959 wrote: »

I'll be your friend I am 39, and don't have many friends either. I have always kept my circle small... but feel like now is the time to be more social.

When you are 40 trying to pick up 21 year olds it is better to have fewer people around to ask questions.
Sage move amigo.

well... if a fella don't ask, the answer is always: No

weightloss_acc wrote: »

I'll be 21 may 30th, I rent my own house, I pay my bills and I work a full time job. I've been out of the house since I was 18, I feel like all I do is workout , work , and sleep, I can honestly say I have no friends. I work at a nursing home and I love talking to the older crowd . I can talk to them about anything . But when it comes to people my age. Despite me being nice they are still rude and i'dk why... I've always been this way

Typical transition for maturity for younger people. I was emancipated at 16 and living on my own. Found out the hard way that not everyone is at that level at 16 and by the time I was in college I was already done with most things people brag about from their college years. I tended to hang out with the older crowd a lot.

when i was your age, i was always hanging out with people older than me by at least ten years lol and i got along with them just fine. these days, i kinda tend to keep to myself. friendships for me are hard to maintain, i'm constantly busy with work, family life, worrying about my mother lol and it seems like if i do make friends - the friendships just kinda wane as time passes. so i tend to fly solo 95% of the time lol and i'm 95% fine with it. there are days (that 5%) when i feel it but it passes. then i'm back to being me and being happy. i also have found that the older i get the less i expect from people around me. probably because i expected so much before and always got torn apart haha life experiences, i tell ya. it's also been alot easier for me to strike up conversations with random people these days. i suspect because i no longer assume or expect anything in return. it's a season in your life. learn as much as you can from it while you can. nothing ever stays the same for long, things/situations/people always change and who knows you may just find friends your age next month, or a couple months from now. you never know. life is a funny thing sometimes.