Have you ever been a victim of Child abuse?????
Marinah0987
Posts: 30 Member
I am a victim of Child abuse, I know that when someone would ask me are you alright? I would say I am FINE but really I’m not. If you don’t know what it feels like to be .. , here is one word to describe it: PAIN alot of pain .you can,t evev get rid of that moments!!!! It really hurts you feel depressed and like you have no one to talk to you...
i wish i had someone i can share my fears with...i can cry infront of someone for one last time and everything would turn out to be okay
I am suffering from PTSD its been years. Am still living in those moments ...its like a flashback ...like a movie always live in my mind..i feel am still stuck there ...a 9 years old girl hiding under bed .. i cnt forget that zero bomb ticking of my heart beat!!! i lost all my SELF-ESTEEM ..... I LOST MY CHILDHOOD ...I LOST MY HAPINESS MY JOYS.....MY DREAMS ....
I LOST MYSELF
i wish i had someone i can share my fears with...i can cry infront of someone for one last time and everything would turn out to be okay
I am suffering from PTSD its been years. Am still living in those moments ...its like a flashback ...like a movie always live in my mind..i feel am still stuck there ...a 9 years old girl hiding under bed .. i cnt forget that zero bomb ticking of my heart beat!!! i lost all my SELF-ESTEEM ..... I LOST MY CHILDHOOD ...I LOST MY HAPINESS MY JOYS.....MY DREAMS ....
I LOST MYSELF
0
Replies
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Wow. I'm so sorry. This makes me sad.0
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Seek Professional Help.12
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My partner has been. As someone else said maybe seek some professional help1
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Please seek professional help1
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I'm so sorry that happened to you. No one deserves that, let alone a child.
Please, please see someone who can help you. Not only to help you to deal with the past trauma and pain, but also because you are worth it, and you deserve some happiness and peace in your future life as well.2 -
Yes, I am a survivor of sexual abuse by someone I trusted. By living in fear/depression you give them the power. We can't change what happened, but we can take back our power to be sure no one ever disrespects us again.8
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HermanLily wrote: »Yes, I am a survivor of sexual abuse by someone I trusted. By living in fear/depression you give them the power. We can't change what happened, but we can take back our power to be sure no one ever disrespects us again.
This.
I'm also a survivor of sexual, physical and mental abuse and went on to abuse myself through drug addiction for eighteen years.
Therapy, therapy, therapy. Exercise helps the PTSD.
Bless you, sweetheart, may you find your way.
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Hang in there. As others have said, please seek professional help. One friend I have did inner child therapy and it helped her move through and cope with the pain. Hugs.2
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There is also a mental health website called Elefriends run by Mind. You can join and get lots of online support there.3
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Yes, I was abused as a child. It does stay with you. Listen to what everyone is saying about professional help, but also know that you are not alone and you can talk to me if you need someone to talk to who has been there.3
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I'm a survivor of childhood mental abuse plus physical marital abuse coupled with emotional abuse.
I became a psychologist because of it. I'm living a full, satisfying life now.
It can be overcome!4 -
I'm devastated that you had to endure such horrible experiences because of other people's pain and ugliness. I am so grateful that you want to turn the pain into healing and stop the cycle.
I was a victim of everything described above. I have a deep aversion to hate and anger. To me it's a debilitating illness that kills from the inside worse than cancer. The only way to combat that darkness is with the light.
I want you to find the freedom of knowing this abuse was never because of you. You weren't abused because you were bad, ugly, annoying, stupid, unloved, unwanted, pretty, smart, loved too much, or because God allowed it, etc.... You were abused by the hands of someone who chose to feed the hate in their infected soul and starve the love out of their life. They lost the opportunity and experience of having a beautiful life with you. That's a deep tragedy in and of itself.
We have to pray that you can forgive that person (or even people) in your life that have done this to you and to themselves~ they are dead in their souls.
You have a strong life inside of you that is ready to start healing. One of the first steps in beginning your healing is with surrendering to forgiveness. I know that this is scary because you will feel vulnerable again. Do not be afraid because you are safe now. You DO NOT have to go back there. You will NEVER need to go back.
If you do find yourself there in your dreams at night (you know what I mean) try to wake yourself up and start thanking and praising God that you are out of it. Giving gratitude stops the cycle of despair. Basically you could picture it like this... you have an old house that you want to clean out so you are opening up the doors, windows and curtains to start letting the light, sunshine and nice breeze waft through so you can have peace and joy back into your life~the life that God intended for you to have.
Use your painful experiences as passion to fuel the forgiveness, love, strength and courage to move forward in your path to sanctity, peace and joy. Remember that their are others that are going through what you WENT through that need your healing actions, thoughts, words and prayers.
You don't have to spend the rest of your life dealing with this. I promise you. You were Created to love and be loved.
You mentioned PTSD, I'm many years out of the actual trauma but when I was still recovering, once I felt the heart start racing (because the adrenaline "breaker had been tripped) and my mind start going, I would take a second and breath in through my nose really deeply and think, "breathing in I calm my body" and as I would exhale I would think, "all glory to God". Then my body reprogrammed itself and this method that I used immediately calmed my "flight" response off. It was great when I figured it out. Find your calming words. Find what fits you and rest assured that there is an answer. You are not alone. Believe it or not, God was with us and is with us. I know that for some people that is VERY hard to hear because they think if God was there how could He let that happen (or at least for me that's what I had to reconcile) my answer is this;
Human Beings have free will, as you know and we use it to harm or heal. Sometimes we are subjected to the harming and sometimes to the healing. I know that I never want to contribute to the harming but always to the healing. I want to bring you along with me:)
All my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours!
Pax Vobiscum!
Romans 15:13
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I too know the feeling of hiding with said heartbeat. You need to talk with someone in person about this. You can pretty much ask anybody who to talk to for help. Help is always there, non-judgmental, waiting for you to reach out. Please don't keep it bottled up. Please do talk with someone.1
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TheRoadDog wrote: »Seek Professional Help.
I will ofcourse .Its not possible for me yet.
Thanks for your support.0 -
TheJourneyToFabulous wrote: »My partner has been. As someone else said maybe seek some professional help
I really really hope that your partner is doing good now.Its a ruff journey though.Your support really means alot to me.1 -
I'm so sorry that happened to you. No one deserves that, let alone a child.
Please, please see someone who can help you. Not only to help you to deal with the past trauma and pain, but also because you are worth it, and you deserve some happiness and peace in your future life as well.
Hoshiko , i tried to share my feelings & pain with a family member and a friend.They think i,m over sensitive .I should just forget everything.It increases my pain whenever some one tries to teach me that just forget it,..without listening to me.I dnt knw if i am worth it or not but i want to live a NORMAL HAPPY LIFE..thats all i want0 -
HermanLily wrote: »Yes, I am a survivor of sexual abuse by someone I trusted. By living in fear/depression you give them the power. We can't change what happened, but we can take back our power to be sure no one ever disrespects us again.
Thanks for your words.May be I should explain more so you can understand what I am going through.My whole childhood has been destroyed by sexual abuse and molestation.In my teenage i was beimg bullied in college and since my childhood i am facing continuous mental abuse from people they call FAMILY. And during all that period I was ALONE..actually I am. Till 16 i had not a SINGLE friend .I CAN,T TAKE BACK MY POWER0 -
I'm so sorry that you had to go through this.Hopefully you are doing good now.SuperCarLori wrote: »HermanLily wrote: »Yes, I am a survivor of sexual abuse by someone I trusted. By living in fear/depression you give them the power. We can't change what happened, but we can take back our power to be sure no one ever disrespects us again.
This.
I'm also a survivor of sexual, physical and mental abuse and went on to abuse myself through drug addiction for eighteen years.
Therapy, therapy, therapy. Exercise helps the PTSD.
Bless you, sweetheart, may you find your way.
I really wish i can meet you
I wish i could hug you right now
I'm trying to find my ways
much love for you..
and yes a warm hug 0 -
Hang in there. As others have said, please seek professional help. One friend I have did inner child therapy and it helped her move through and cope with the pain. Hugs.
Thanku Macy.I will seek someday when it would be possible for me.I know professional help makes alot of difference.Love for your friend
Hugs back0 -
I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am that this happened to you. You are valuable and your recovery needs to start now, not later.
There are non-profit organizations you can turn to if money is the issue stopping you from talking with a counselor. Catholic Charities comes to mind, and I'm sure there are many others. Family and friends often do not have the patience to bear with you as you struggle through this. You don't say how old you are, but if you're still in school, a school counselor could help you find someone to talk to. Your family doctor might also be surprisingly helpful. Even someplace like Planned Parenthood has professional counselors who would know how to direct you in finding the right person to talk to.
It's so important right now for you to find the right guidance. Your family and friends may mean well, but your reliance on them is making you feel worse. When they reject your concerns and your pain, they make you feel abandoned all over again.
While you're looking for a counselor, something that might help immediately is meditation. I find the "Calm" app useful for guided meditation. Changing your thought patterns will be crucial in your recovery, and meditation is a great place to start learning how to do that. If you're a believer, reciting Psalm 23 can make you feel more at peace, and there are a many hymns that you might learn to sing. It Is Well With My Soul is a good one to start with. Singing has healed many wounds in my life.
I wish you peace and a purposeful life.
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rheddmobile wrote: »Yes, I was abused as a child. It does stay with you. Listen to what everyone is saying about professional help, but also know that you are not alone and you can talk to me if you need someone to talk to who has been there.
I can feel you had a hard time.You can reach me whenever you want. And yes i really wanna talk to you .
I no more feel alone with all this support and love ,it is alot more than i expected.
Hugs...1 -
I'm a survivor of childhood mental abuse plus physical marital abuse coupled with emotional abuse.
I became a psychologist because of it. I'm living a full, satisfying life now.
It can be overcome!
I'm glad you are doing good.May be someday i will be strong enough like you.I am still suffering from extreme mental abuse on daily basis.I'm done with it.But i cn,t leave this place.I have to live with my FAMILY until i gt married where they wish. And i have no hope how would be my marital life.I'm not even allowed to do a job.Its really tuff to just live like a useless thing .0 -
I'm sorry. I somehow assumed you were in the U.S. but maybe not? I wish I knew how to help.1
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Marinah0987 wrote: »
I'm so sorry that you had to go through this.Hopefully you are doing good now.SuperCarLori wrote: »HermanLily wrote: »Yes, I am a survivor of sexual abuse by someone I trusted. By living in fear/depression you give them the power. We can't change what happened, but we can take back our power to be sure no one ever disrespects us again.
This.
I'm also a survivor of sexual, physical and mental abuse and went on to abuse myself through drug addiction for eighteen years.
Therapy, therapy, therapy. Exercise helps the PTSD.
Bless you, sweetheart, may you find your way.
I really wish i can meet you
I wish i could hug you right now
I'm trying to find my ways
much love for you..
and yes a warm hug
I am doing amazingly well. Thank you! It is possible to overcome. It takes much kindness (kindness to yourself, from yourself), patience and just never giving up on yourself. It also takes relearning all of the skills that healthy adults learned from good parenting, such as simply making good decisions, respecting ourselves and others boundaries and learning how to communicate. There are times it will seem impossible, and the scars never heal, we have to learn to work around them, such as a person who loses a limb will learn to function without it.
When you're able, therapy will help. I got into a free program through the country I was in. I opted out of psych meds, because I am a recovering addict, but also because I felt that to truly recover I needed to learn how to handle myself free and clear of any mood or mind altering substance. I am Bipolar 1 with PTSD and obsessive compulsive disorders.
I was and am worth it. As are you.
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What she said ^^1
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I can feel the orginal thread makers pain, because I too have grown up in the predicament. It's never easy to admit or tell others especially strangers cause for me as a guy, it really males me feel weak. I applaud you sir or mam for sharing with us your experience. It took me almost 10 years to realize that I was being abused as a kid because I had always assumed it was nothing and that I was to blame.
After I injured myself in High school its when it got worse and after 3 years I went from 145lbs to 260lbs (where I am now). I am working out again after finally seeking professional help and I hope you do the same wether you've gained weight from the depression or not.
Best of luck to you amd never feel like your alone.3 -
paxvobiscum1996 wrote: »I'm devastated that you had to endure such horrible experiences because of other people's pain and ugliness. I am so grateful that you want to turn the pain into healing and stop the cycle.
I was a victim of everything described above. I have a deep aversion to hate and anger. To me it's a debilitating illness that kills from the inside worse than cancer. The only way to combat that darkness is with the light.
I want you to find the freedom of knowing this abuse was never because of you. You weren't abused because you were bad, ugly, annoying, stupid, unloved, unwanted, pretty, smart, loved too much, or because God allowed it, etc.... You were abused by the hands of someone who chose to feed the hate in their infected soul and starve the love out of their life. They lost the opportunity and experience of having a beautiful life with you. That's a deep tragedy in and of itself.
We have to pray that you can forgive that person (or even people) in your life that have done this to you and to themselves~ they are dead in their souls.
You have a strong life inside of you that is ready to start healing. One of the first steps in beginning your healing is with surrendering to forgiveness. I know that this is scary because you will feel vulnerable again. Do not be afraid because you are safe now. You DO NOT have to go back there. You will NEVER need to go back.
If you do find yourself there in your dreams at night (you know what I mean) try to wake yourself up and start thanking and praising God that you are out of it. Giving gratitude stops the cycle of despair. Basically you could picture it like this... you have an old house that you want to clean out so you are opening up the doors, windows and curtains to start letting the light, sunshine and nice breeze waft through so you can have peace and joy back into your life~the life that God intended for you to have.
Use your painful experiences as passion to fuel the forgiveness, love, strength and courage to move forward in your path to sanctity, peace and joy. Remember that their are others that are going through what you WENT through that need your healing actions, thoughts, words and prayers.
You don't have to spend the rest of your life dealing with this. I promise you. You were Created to love and be loved.
You mentioned PTSD, I'm many years out of the actual trauma but when I was still recovering, once I felt the heart start racing (because the adrenaline "breaker had been tripped) and my mind start going, I would take a second and breath in through my nose really deeply and think, "breathing in I calm my body" and as I would exhale I would think, "all glory to God". Then my body reprogrammed itself and this method that I used immediately calmed my "flight" response off. It was great when I figured it out. Find your calming words. Find what fits you and rest assured that there is an answer. You are not alone. Believe it or not, God was with us and is with us. I know that for some people that is VERY hard to hear because they think if God was there how could He let that happen (or at least for me that's what I had to reconcile) my answer is this;
Human Beings have free will, as you know and we use it to harm or heal. Sometimes we are subjected to the harming and sometimes to the healing. I know that I never want to contribute to the harming but always to the healing. I want to bring you along with me:)
All my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours!
Pax Vobiscum!
Romans 15:13
Dear Pax !
I really dnt know how to describe the feel of healing i get from you.
Your beautiful words just made me “light as a feather”. Its a feeling like I'm free of pain and sadness and are in a moment of complete and utter bliss – like nothing is weighing me down.
No one has ever described my pain the way you did.Yes , It is more worse than cancer.
But now I started to realize I,M NOT ALONE. There are many beautiful Souls like you who despite their battles in life, tried to make sure to give me some peace and love. I cn,t describe The essence of your beautiful soul neither i can capture.
As they says forgiveness is healing... it is crucial for healing. I'll try to think this way.
I can not thank you for all the mental exercises you told me , all are really helpfull.
I would love to keep in touch with you.
THANK YOU YOUR WORDS MEAN THE WORLD TO ME...
LOVE ....hugs more and more hugs for all the love and care.3 -
rheddmobile wrote: »Yes, I was abused as a child. It does stay with you. Listen to what everyone is saying about professional help, but also know that you are not alone and you can talk to me if you need someone to talk to who has been there.
Thank you for being there for me.Much love and hugs.. 2 -
I went through this also and still struggle with PTSD.
Therapy and meds help.
There is an online support forum I like, HAVOCA.org2
This discussion has been closed.
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