Scared of the results...

Blakes_Momm13
Blakes_Momm13 Posts: 33 Member
edited November 18 in Getting Started
One thing that I haven't shared with many people is that once I do lose all this weight (which I will because I'm god damned determined!) i'm super nervous I will still be completely unsatisfied with my body. I dropped 80lbs before and was at 150 and felt SO self conscious. I have a LOT more to lose this time. I don't want to be unhappy.. of course being healthy is worth it but... idk.
Does anyone have any suggestions or tips that have helped them through something of this nature? Over coming the fact that you will NEVER be truly satisfied with your body?

Replies

  • kathryntaylor5437
    kathryntaylor5437 Posts: 4 Member
    It's hard to ever be
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Blakes_Momm13 wrote: »
    One thing that I haven't shared with many people is that once I do lose all this weight (which I will because I'm god damned determined!) i'm super nervous I will still be completely unsatisfied with my body. I dropped 80lbs before and was at 150 and felt SO self conscious. I have a LOT more to lose this time. I don't want to be unhappy.. of course being healthy is worth it but... idk.
    Does anyone have any suggestions or tips that have helped them through something of this nature? Over coming the fact that you will NEVER be truly satisfied with your body?

    Why unsatisfied? Do you have a realistic view of what your body should look like, or are you comparing yourself to photoshopped/surgery enhanced celebs?
  • goldenday
    goldenday Posts: 204 Member
    It's not easy but I would suggest therapy to get to your underlying concerns.
  • nurseratchet46
    nurseratchet46 Posts: 16 Member
    Hi,Even at my thinnest at 135 lbs back in the 80s..I still felt my legs were fat...which they werent....I think from years of being heavy,its hard to imagine ourselves as thin,yes therapy might help...I just had to accept my body for what it was.....Now at 58 and needing to lose 128 lbs....I look forward to losing the weight,and at my age,I dont think I will feel the same way as I did in my 30s.....
  • Blakes_Momm13
    Blakes_Momm13 Posts: 33 Member
    Yeah you all may be right. What a bummer. I thought I was fat back then yet I was, what I think in my head now was just perfect. Its just something that is stuck in our minds after being heavy for so long. i'm not doing it for the looks though, its for my kid so that's all that matters. HEALTH will bring happiness, hopefully ;)
  • Blakes_Momm13
    Blakes_Momm13 Posts: 33 Member
    edited May 2017
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    Blakes_Momm13 wrote: »
    One thing that I haven't shared with many people is that once I do lose all this weight (which I will because I'm god damned determined!) i'm super nervous I will still be completely unsatisfied with my body. I dropped 80lbs before and was at 150 and felt SO self conscious. I have a LOT more to lose this time. I don't want to be unhappy.. of course being healthy is worth it but... idk.
    Does anyone have any suggestions or tips that have helped them through something of this nature? Over coming the fact that you will NEVER be truly satisfied with your body?

    Why unsatisfied? Do you have a realistic view of what your body should look like, or are you comparing yourself to photoshopped/surgery enhanced celebs?

    I think its just me being used to being heavy for so long that its just one of those things that no matter what you will not be satisfied. Its pretty sad if you think about it. Even at my best I didn't think it was good enough.
  • Tried30UserNames
    Tried30UserNames Posts: 561 Member
    I think counseling or even using some sort of self help book/program at home to help overcome your negative body image might be helpful.

    In the past, when I first started lifting weights, I was shocked how much more positive I became about my body even when it hadn't changed at all. Something about looking at how strong I was getting helped me not focus so much on what I looked like.

    These days, I know my body looks pretty awful. But I'm not unhappy with it. I don't know if that is age or just years of working on my issues.

    Also, don't read fashion magazines or similar media that will give you totally unrealistic expectations.

    Maybe you could try volunteering with some organization where you are spending a lot of time with people who have real, life threatening, horrific problems and diseases. Take the focus off of yourself and put it into helping/supporting others. If I see someone struggling to learn to function with no arms or no legs, suddenly my cellulite doesn't seem that big a deal.
  • aylajane
    aylajane Posts: 979 Member
    Well, my thought is - are you satisfied with your body now? no? so... would you rather be fat and unsatisfied or thin and unsatisfied with your body (and healthier)? The benefits of losing weight are more than body satisfaction, so you have to decide if those benefits are worth the effort.

    One of the most inspiring (to me) phrases I have learned here on MFP is:

    Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Choose your hard.

  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    Tried30UserNames wrote: »
    I think counseling or even using some sort of self help book/program at home to help overcome your negative body image might be helpful.

    In the past, when I first started lifting weights, I was shocked how much more positive I became about my body even when it hadn't changed at all. Something about looking at how strong I was getting helped me not focus so much on what I looked like.

    These days, I know my body looks pretty awful. But I'm not unhappy with it. I don't know if that is age or just years of working on my issues.

    Also, don't read fashion magazines or similar media that will give you totally unrealistic expectations.

    Maybe you could try volunteering with some organization where you are spending a lot of time with people who have real, life threatening, horrific problems and diseases. Take the focus off of yourself and put it into helping/supporting others. If I see someone struggling to learn to function with no arms or no legs, suddenly my cellulite doesn't seem that big a deal.

    This^^
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Blakes_Momm13 wrote: »
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    Blakes_Momm13 wrote: »
    One thing that I haven't shared with many people is that once I do lose all this weight (which I will because I'm god damned determined!) i'm super nervous I will still be completely unsatisfied with my body. I dropped 80lbs before and was at 150 and felt SO self conscious. I have a LOT more to lose this time. I don't want to be unhappy.. of course being healthy is worth it but... idk.
    Does anyone have any suggestions or tips that have helped them through something of this nature? Over coming the fact that you will NEVER be truly satisfied with your body?

    Why unsatisfied? Do you have a realistic view of what your body should look like, or are you comparing yourself to photoshopped/surgery enhanced celebs?

    I think its just me being used to being heavy for so long that its just one of those things that no matter what you will not be satisfied. Its pretty sad if you think about it. Even at my best I didn't think it was good enough.

    Yes, it's very sad
  • MoiAussi93
    MoiAussi93 Posts: 1,948 Member
    edited May 2017
    My view on this is that losing weight isn't just about appearance. That is certainly one motivation...and a big one for most people. But I also focused on being healthier and reducing the risk of serious diseases later in life. And I also enjoyed the fact that everyday activities...like climbing a few flights of stairs or carrying heavy grocery bags...became much easier. And I really enjoyed the fact that as I lost weight, I could exercise longer and harder...that was it's own sense of accomplishment.

    Also...even though my body is not and will never be "perfect"...it certainly looks much better than before. Clothes look much better on me. I can wear styles I never did before. So you don't need perfection...focus on all the great improvements, not the few little things that aren't what you would like.

    And keep in mind it takes time to get used to your new size. Once you are at a lower weight for a while, it will start to look normal to you and I think the self consciousness will go away. It is an adjustment, so give yourself a little time to adjust.
  • Melissa_Leanne86
    Melissa_Leanne86 Posts: 13 Member
    Tried30UserNames wrote: »
    I think counseling or even using some sort of self help book/program at home to help overcome your negative body image might be helpful.

    In the past, when I first started lifting weights, I was shocked how much more positive I became about my body even when it hadn't changed at all. Something about looking at how strong I was getting helped me not focus so much on what I looked like.

    These days, I know my body looks pretty awful. But I'm not unhappy with it. I don't know if that is age or just years of working on my issues.

    Also, don't read fashion magazines or similar media that will give you totally unrealistic expectations.

    Maybe you could try volunteering with some organization where you are spending a lot of time with people who have real, life threatening, horrific problems and diseases. Take the focus off of yourself and put it into helping/supporting others. If I see someone struggling to learn to function with no arms or no legs, suddenly my cellulite doesn't seem that big a deal.

    100% what I put in bold in the post above.

    And as women, we are told by media that we shouldn't love our bodies, that we always need to be doing SOMETHING to make it better (e.g., lose weight, get botox to remove the wrinkles, buy the latest fashion trend). It is really, really difficult to not let this get to us.

    Loving yourself doesn't mean you have to settle either. What if you worked (possibly with a professional as others have suggested) on shifting your perspective for this weight loss as coming from a place of self-love versus self-hate? As in, "I am working on losing this weight because I love myself and deserve this"

    Trust me, as I type this I know it sounds super cheesy and it'll likely take some time and a LOT of hard work to shift this perspective. But don't listen to the media, because you are beautiful just as you are <3
  • clicketykeys
    clicketykeys Posts: 6,589 Member
    Tried30UserNames wrote: »
    Maybe you could try volunteering with some organization where you are spending a lot of time with people who have real, life threatening, horrific problems and diseases. Take the focus off of yourself and put it into helping/supporting others. If I see someone struggling to learn to function with no arms or no legs, suddenly my cellulite doesn't seem that big a deal.

    In addition to this, volunteering can give you a sense of being valued and competent. Being satisfied with your body and being satisfied with your SELF are related, but not the same thing. Look for ways in which you're already proud of yourself, even if they don't have anything to do with your appearance, weight, or fitness. What are you good at doing? What's unusual or unique about you? Who do you help?
  • RaeBeeBaby
    RaeBeeBaby Posts: 4,246 Member
    Strangely I'm happier with my 57 year old, 155 lb as-fit-as-can-be-at-my-age body than I was with the 125 lbs in high school. I've learned to look at things from a different perspective. Am I working as hard as I can? Can I see improvements? Do I look good in clothes? Does my husband still think I'm hot?

    I now measure success in smaller increments (like body measurements, along with the scale, looser clothes) and take pleasure in the little achievements and generally being stronger and more fit. I will never have a perfect body and neither will anyone else, so I just have to love what God gave me and enjoy the life journey!
  • sporangia
    sporangia Posts: 50 Member
    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    Tried30UserNames wrote: »
    In the past, when I first started lifting weights, I was shocked how much more positive I became about my body even when it hadn't changed at all. Something about looking at how strong I was getting helped me not focus so much on what I looked like.

    Also, don't read fashion magazines or similar media that will give you totally unrealistic expectations.

    This^^

    +1 to this -- among all of the weight loss transformations that I've looked at online, those where the person has clearly put on a lot of muscle are the most transformative. I also think that if it is lose skin you're worried about, keep in mind that skin takes a lot longer to shrink.

    Also, ignore unrealistic sources of input, like magazines and any websites that feature similarly photo shopped images.
  • sporangia
    sporangia Posts: 50 Member
    Positive self talk can also help with this. Create mantras that you repeat to yourself every day or even a positivity journal that focuses on identifying the good things you like about your body. Research has shown these kinds of activities can reshape personal self image over time.
  • strawberrysnap
    strawberrysnap Posts: 71 Member
    I'm so sorry to hear this, I'm at the very low end of healthy bmi and sometimes I still feel very self conscious so it's more about needing to uplift yourself mentally - perhaps something accelerates you feeling self conscious which could be a barrier between positive thinking, good luck with your journey ☘️⭐️⭐️
  • yoherbs421
    yoherbs421 Posts: 160 Member
    Melissa_Leanne86 wrote: »
    Tried30UserNames wrote: »
    I think counseling or even using some sort of self help book/program at home to help overcome your negative body image might be helpful.

    In the past, when I first started lifting weights, I was shocked how much more positive I became about my body even when it hadn't changed at all. Something about looking at how strong I was getting helped me not focus so much on what I looked like.

    These days, I know my body looks pretty awful. But I'm not unhappy with it. I don't know if that is age or just years of working on my issues.

    Also, don't read fashion magazines or similar media that will give you totally unrealistic expectations.

    Maybe you could try volunteering with some organization where you are spending a lot of time with people who have real, life threatening, horrific problems and diseases. Take the focus off of yourself and put it into helping/supporting others. If I see someone struggling to learn to function with no arms or no legs, suddenly my cellulite doesn't seem that big a deal.

    100% what I put in bold in the post above.

    And as women, we are told by media that we shouldn't love our bodies, that we always need to be doing SOMETHING to make it better (e.g., lose weight, get botox to remove the wrinkles, buy the latest fashion trend). It is really, really difficult to not let this get to us.

    Loving yourself doesn't mean you have to settle either. What if you worked (possibly with a professional as others have suggested) on shifting your perspective for this weight loss as coming from a place of self-love versus self-hate? As in, "I am working on losing this weight because I love myself and deserve this"

    Trust me, as I type this I know it sounds super cheesy and it'll likely take some time and a LOT of hard work to shift this perspective. But don't listen to the media, because you are beautiful just as you are <3

    Beautiful! I love it when people understand the nature of the beast!
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