I'm too self conscious to attend the gym

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jack27496
jack27496 Posts: 1 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
I'm an 18 year old guy and I'm desperate to lose weight. Lots of people have suggested going to the gym and I'm just too self conscious. I find it difficult to just walk past people without holding my breath and the fear that they can hear the fat kid panting. I'm 5 foot 9 and weigh around 185 pounds and desperate to be about 150. What types of exercises can I do at home which will help me lose weight. Does anyone else have a fear of going to the gym. The only exercise I ever tend to do is just walking and I barely have any muscle at all. I can honestly say if I did ten sit ups the next day my body would ache
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Replies

  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
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    First of all--ANY exercise that you're not used to doing will make you sore the next day, but after a few days goes away. My advice to you, because you're not that overweight and have a reaction just walking past people thinking that they're judging you, is to sign up for a personal trainer to start off. Having someone guide you will take your attention off your phobia. Because you have absolutely no reason to be selfconscious about going to a gym.
  • Ann262
    Ann262 Posts: 265 Member
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    I do agree that others probably aren't judging you like you think they are but the discomfort is there. There are LOTS of exercise programs you can do at home with very little equipment (exercise bands can be wicked!) that might be the thing for you to do to get yourself started. There are quite a few streaming programs I see out there advertised. Each day you stream an exercise class in your own living room. Daily Burn? Walking, jogging you can do on your own too.
  • aemsley05
    aemsley05 Posts: 151 Member
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    I used to be self-conscious about going to the gym - until I went and realised that no one is paying any attention to anything other than their own workouts! So I'd definitely encourage you to give it a try - maybe at a less busy time so it's not so overwhelming? However, you're not going to stick to a regime if you don't enjoy it, so if the anxiety about the gym makes you less likely to go then don't feel that you have to.

    There's nothing wrong with walking for exercise. Why not walk faster, walk further or walk a more challenging or hilly route? It's a good start. There's also plenty of bodyweight exercises you can do at home if you don't have much equipment and want to build up some muscle. I've seen a few people recommend Fitness Blender and other YouTube videos for exercising at home. Or you could try a home workout dvd. Or check out the monthly Challenges threads for ideas - for the last couple of months I've been doing those at home and I've developed muscles I didn't even know I had. Try things out and see what works for you. Don't be put off if it's hard and are your muscles are aching the next day - that's supposed to happen and it will get easier! There are loads of ways to modify exercises to ease your way into them - I started with push-ups on the kitchen counter and have now progressed to being able to real push-ups. It's a journey, but you will get there if you work hard and commit. Good luck!
  • rianneonamission
    rianneonamission Posts: 854 Member
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    1: At that weight you're categorically NOT the fat kid.

    2: Ignore what others think of you. People who judge you don't matter.

    You will find that the majority of people in gyms are there for the same reason: To get or keep fit. Those who do stare at those of us less fit normally are the ones that have the worst technique, and are there to show off (guys thinking they are God's gift to women, or girls who think dressing in skimpy outfits and sticking out their bums is what we all want to see).

    The most inspiring thing I see at the gym are those I have seen come in, get fit and lose weight and basically not give a *kitten* about what others think.

    Set your calories to your TDEE (based on your normal activity level, not the exercise you intend to do) less approx 20%, don't eat back your exercise calories where possible. Try weight training with cardio (rowing or treadmill, the latter a brisk walk at a significant incline is fine, no need to run) warm up and cool downs, that will offer you a combination of fat loss and muscle building. And trust me, when you go up in weight (even if for just one set) it is so motivating!

    And expect to re-evaluate your weight goal as muscle is denser than fat, so as you build muscle and burn fat you will look much leaner, but the number on the scales won't necessarily drop as much as you would expect.
  • Scotty2HotPie
    Scotty2HotPie Posts: 143 Member
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    Don't worry about it! Not too long ago I was 245lbs at 5'8". Recently, a few of the regulars commented me on my weight loss and gave me support.

    For the most part, people will be impressed that you have taken control and are making the effort to better yourself in the gym.

    After you have dedicated yourself for a few weeks and they notice that you haven't quit after the first week, you might make some friends. People will be in your corner, not judging you.

    Be positive! You got this!!
  • Muscleflex79
    Muscleflex79 Posts: 1,917 Member
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    As someone else said, weight loss will come from calorie deficit - not exercise. Make sure you have your calorie intake accurate and you will lose weight (and as others said, you are not fat at that weight - just do the gym!)
  • Emily3907
    Emily3907 Posts: 1,461 Member
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    Don't let the gym intimidate you!!

    I joined a gym about 6 weeks ago and I was also super self-conscious. I joined to have access to a pool. I am 5'4", 268 pounds and I shimmied my butt into a bathing suit. I was super embarrassed the first time or two, but my desire to get back into the pool was enough to get me out there.

    The shocking part? I don't even think one person turned their head my direction. Nobody cared, nobody paid attention and everyone was just focused on their own situation. Since I was able to overcome that fear, I have also started lifting and doing my cardio at the gym too. I have really found that people don't really pay attention to anyone else at the gym. I know I sure don't.

    I think it is helpful to find a place you are comfortable going to. The gym I attend caters to people recovering from injury, elderly and people looking to make big changes. (It is a wellness center connected to the local hospital.) I think finding the right fit is important.
  • edlanglais5
    edlanglais5 Posts: 172 Member
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    There are gyms that have a reputation as meat head lockers. There are also those that cater to those from all walks of life. I would joint your local community Facebook group and ask for recommendations as to which are which.

    Also, you're far from the fat kid. I'm 5'10 and 192, my ideal weight being 172. That's where I was during my most fit part of my life two years ago. During that time, I attending the gym daily and honestly didn't pay attention to anyone else.

    I see the gym, not necessarily as the only way to get a workout, but the best way to hold myself accountable.

    Also, try to do your best to tune everyone out. That's what I do every time I'm there. I also do that at anytime I feel self conscious in any other activity.

    When I do notice people, I mentally cheer them on. I don't do that for the people who look like fitness models, because they've "already made it."

    Another idea is finding yourself a workout buddy. Hard to feel self conscious when you have someone there with you. Also, more accountability.
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
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    I'm 5'9 and I weigh 220. I wish I was at 185. I see all differnt people at the gym, tall short fat thin muscular puney, and everyone gets along. It's up to you to set your goals and try to achieve them!!
  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
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    That's almost a healthy BMI. You're not the "fat" kid?
  • QuHeCTiC24
    QuHeCTiC24 Posts: 32 Member
    edited May 2017
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    I was going to the gym at 270lbs and I am down to 177lbs because of it. No one pays attention to anything but themselves at the gym, it took me a while to learn that. The ones that did pay attention ended up being nothing but motivational to me. Go to the gym, you will not regret it!
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,139 Member
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    how is 5'9 185 fat???????

    I am 5-11 and 180#....
  • midlomel1971
    midlomel1971 Posts: 1,283 Member
    edited May 2017
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    Nobody is judging you at the gym. You are not even that big. By comparison, I'm 5'8" and weight about 190 (i'm a girl) and I'm at the gym every night looking like *kitten*. I'm wearing shorts that are probably too small, sweat stains on my old t-shirt, cellulite flying...but I don't give a crap because you know why? I'm getting it done. I will admit that at the age of 45 I'm quite a bit older than you and I have the confidence that comes with age and I honestly don't care what other people think of me. You'll get there. Maybe it's just where I work out (a YouFit), but at my gym no one is judging anyone or checking each other out. They are there to be healthier.

  • fivethreeone
    fivethreeone Posts: 8,196 Member
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    This fear is something I know a lot about and something I'm passionate about getting over, for a number of reasons. Everything I would say to you I've already said here:
    myfitnesspal.com/blog/fivethreeone/view/3-actual-ways-to-overcome-your-fear-of-the-gym-756657
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    fivethreeone wrote: »
    This fear is something I know a lot about and something I'm passionate about getting over, for a number of reasons. Everything I would say to you I've already said here:
    myfitnesspal.com/blog/fivethreeone/view/3-actual-ways-to-overcome-your-fear-of-the-gym-756657

    It says the blog is private...
  • fivethreeone
    fivethreeone Posts: 8,196 Member
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    Odd. I fixed it, thanks.

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