I'm too self conscious to attend the gym
jack27496
Posts: 1 Member
I'm an 18 year old guy and I'm desperate to lose weight. Lots of people have suggested going to the gym and I'm just too self conscious. I find it difficult to just walk past people without holding my breath and the fear that they can hear the fat kid panting. I'm 5 foot 9 and weigh around 185 pounds and desperate to be about 150. What types of exercises can I do at home which will help me lose weight. Does anyone else have a fear of going to the gym. The only exercise I ever tend to do is just walking and I barely have any muscle at all. I can honestly say if I did ten sit ups the next day my body would ache
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I used to have the same fear as you until one day I just decided to go and face my fear.
It turned out that everyone their was really friendly and happy to help you and if there were any not so nice people you just let management know. They won't tolerate that.
I'm sorry this is not really what you asked for but I'm just saying it won't hurt to give it a go. Maybe see if they have personal trainers that can guide you.
For reference I'm about the same height and approx. 286 pounds7 -
Everyone has anxiety about going to the gym for the first time but I promise, just 10 minutes after walking through the door, all your anxiety will disappear.
I'm about the same height as you and currently around 220. I also suffer from panic attacks and depression so joining the gym was VERY hard for me but I did it. As I said, within 10 minutes you will wonder why you were panicking.7 -
I personally admire overweight people that walk into the gym more than someone cut and muscly. You just know it means a lot to them to step out of there comfort zone and look after themselves. Give it a go. You'll be surprised how quickly you will overcome your fears. Good luck with your journey.11
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Calorie deficit will help you lose weight.
Going to the gym will benefit you in many ways though.
Most people at the gym are panting - exercise, especially cardio, tends to do that. Most feel self conscious like you, and have body image issues - even the big muscly guy checking out his bicep between sets. Most people are there, like you, to better themselves.... And most likely aren't paying any attention to you!
How about asking a friend to go with you - get one of the ones suggesting you go to take you with them and help you out.7 -
First of all--ANY exercise that you're not used to doing will make you sore the next day, but after a few days goes away. My advice to you, because you're not that overweight and have a reaction just walking past people thinking that they're judging you, is to sign up for a personal trainer to start off. Having someone guide you will take your attention off your phobia. Because you have absolutely no reason to be selfconscious about going to a gym.0
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I do agree that others probably aren't judging you like you think they are but the discomfort is there. There are LOTS of exercise programs you can do at home with very little equipment (exercise bands can be wicked!) that might be the thing for you to do to get yourself started. There are quite a few streaming programs I see out there advertised. Each day you stream an exercise class in your own living room. Daily Burn? Walking, jogging you can do on your own too.0
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I used to be self-conscious about going to the gym - until I went and realised that no one is paying any attention to anything other than their own workouts! So I'd definitely encourage you to give it a try - maybe at a less busy time so it's not so overwhelming? However, you're not going to stick to a regime if you don't enjoy it, so if the anxiety about the gym makes you less likely to go then don't feel that you have to.
There's nothing wrong with walking for exercise. Why not walk faster, walk further or walk a more challenging or hilly route? It's a good start. There's also plenty of bodyweight exercises you can do at home if you don't have much equipment and want to build up some muscle. I've seen a few people recommend Fitness Blender and other YouTube videos for exercising at home. Or you could try a home workout dvd. Or check out the monthly Challenges threads for ideas - for the last couple of months I've been doing those at home and I've developed muscles I didn't even know I had. Try things out and see what works for you. Don't be put off if it's hard and are your muscles are aching the next day - that's supposed to happen and it will get easier! There are loads of ways to modify exercises to ease your way into them - I started with push-ups on the kitchen counter and have now progressed to being able to real push-ups. It's a journey, but you will get there if you work hard and commit. Good luck!0 -
1: At that weight you're categorically NOT the fat kid.
2: Ignore what others think of you. People who judge you don't matter.
You will find that the majority of people in gyms are there for the same reason: To get or keep fit. Those who do stare at those of us less fit normally are the ones that have the worst technique, and are there to show off (guys thinking they are God's gift to women, or girls who think dressing in skimpy outfits and sticking out their bums is what we all want to see).
The most inspiring thing I see at the gym are those I have seen come in, get fit and lose weight and basically not give a *kitten* about what others think.
Set your calories to your TDEE (based on your normal activity level, not the exercise you intend to do) less approx 20%, don't eat back your exercise calories where possible. Try weight training with cardio (rowing or treadmill, the latter a brisk walk at a significant incline is fine, no need to run) warm up and cool downs, that will offer you a combination of fat loss and muscle building. And trust me, when you go up in weight (even if for just one set) it is so motivating!
And expect to re-evaluate your weight goal as muscle is denser than fat, so as you build muscle and burn fat you will look much leaner, but the number on the scales won't necessarily drop as much as you would expect.1 -
Don't worry about it! Not too long ago I was 245lbs at 5'8". Recently, a few of the regulars commented me on my weight loss and gave me support.
For the most part, people will be impressed that you have taken control and are making the effort to better yourself in the gym.
After you have dedicated yourself for a few weeks and they notice that you haven't quit after the first week, you might make some friends. People will be in your corner, not judging you.
Be positive! You got this!!1 -
As someone else said, weight loss will come from calorie deficit - not exercise. Make sure you have your calorie intake accurate and you will lose weight (and as others said, you are not fat at that weight - just do the gym!)0
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Don't let the gym intimidate you!!
I joined a gym about 6 weeks ago and I was also super self-conscious. I joined to have access to a pool. I am 5'4", 268 pounds and I shimmied my butt into a bathing suit. I was super embarrassed the first time or two, but my desire to get back into the pool was enough to get me out there.
The shocking part? I don't even think one person turned their head my direction. Nobody cared, nobody paid attention and everyone was just focused on their own situation. Since I was able to overcome that fear, I have also started lifting and doing my cardio at the gym too. I have really found that people don't really pay attention to anyone else at the gym. I know I sure don't.
I think it is helpful to find a place you are comfortable going to. The gym I attend caters to people recovering from injury, elderly and people looking to make big changes. (It is a wellness center connected to the local hospital.) I think finding the right fit is important.2 -
There are gyms that have a reputation as meat head lockers. There are also those that cater to those from all walks of life. I would joint your local community Facebook group and ask for recommendations as to which are which.
Also, you're far from the fat kid. I'm 5'10 and 192, my ideal weight being 172. That's where I was during my most fit part of my life two years ago. During that time, I attending the gym daily and honestly didn't pay attention to anyone else.
I see the gym, not necessarily as the only way to get a workout, but the best way to hold myself accountable.
Also, try to do your best to tune everyone out. That's what I do every time I'm there. I also do that at anytime I feel self conscious in any other activity.
When I do notice people, I mentally cheer them on. I don't do that for the people who look like fitness models, because they've "already made it."
Another idea is finding yourself a workout buddy. Hard to feel self conscious when you have someone there with you. Also, more accountability.1 -
I'm 5'9 and I weigh 220. I wish I was at 185. I see all differnt people at the gym, tall short fat thin muscular puney, and everyone gets along. It's up to you to set your goals and try to achieve them!!0
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That's almost a healthy BMI. You're not the "fat" kid?1
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I was going to the gym at 270lbs and I am down to 177lbs because of it. No one pays attention to anything but themselves at the gym, it took me a while to learn that. The ones that did pay attention ended up being nothing but motivational to me. Go to the gym, you will not regret it!0
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how is 5'9 185 fat???????
I am 5-11 and 180#....2 -
Nobody is judging you at the gym. You are not even that big. By comparison, I'm 5'8" and weight about 190 (i'm a girl) and I'm at the gym every night looking like *kitten*. I'm wearing shorts that are probably too small, sweat stains on my old t-shirt, cellulite flying...but I don't give a crap because you know why? I'm getting it done. I will admit that at the age of 45 I'm quite a bit older than you and I have the confidence that comes with age and I honestly don't care what other people think of me. You'll get there. Maybe it's just where I work out (a YouFit), but at my gym no one is judging anyone or checking each other out. They are there to be healthier.
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This fear is something I know a lot about and something I'm passionate about getting over, for a number of reasons. Everything I would say to you I've already said here:
myfitnesspal.com/blog/fivethreeone/view/3-actual-ways-to-overcome-your-fear-of-the-gym-7566570 -
fivethreeone wrote: »This fear is something I know a lot about and something I'm passionate about getting over, for a number of reasons. Everything I would say to you I've already said here:
myfitnesspal.com/blog/fivethreeone/view/3-actual-ways-to-overcome-your-fear-of-the-gym-756657
It says the blog is private...0 -
Odd. I fixed it, thanks.0
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I was like that in the beginning. I agree with others no ones going to pay you attention because they are focused on them self.. you will in spire those around you through showing up an putting in the effort. even if you decide not to go the gym. people will notice you. I will never forget joining Zumba at the gym. I looked silly trying to keep up but I had fun. and no your not fat i'm the same height except i'm 236 pounds1
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At your height and weight, you're definitely not going to be the "fat kid" at the gym, a place where panting (among other noises) is pretty much the norm for people who are working out hard. No one is going to give you a second glance. Go to the gym, start a progressive lifting program with a slight calorie deficit, and your confidence rise.
...if you're still not convinced of the gym, start a running program and work in body weight exercises (situps, pushups, mountain climbers, burpees, squats, planks, etc...) and sprints during your runs.0 -
Apparently, my comment *may* be taken wrong - I am not saying do not lose weight or don't go. Go! But you won't be the biggest person there, I'm 99.99% sure. You're almost at a healthy weight, so if that's what you're after you should be able to achieve it pretty easily and if you are looking to get even more fit than average then the gym is the place to be.
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Like others have said... just do it! It won't be nearly as bad as you think.
I'm an introvert, so large crowds make me nervous and sometimes the smallest noises can "overstimulate" me. It helped me to create my own motivational play list for the gym. I can escape to my own musical world with a pair of ear buds.
Also, I find myself smiling inside when I see a person of size (which you aren't, by the way) in the gym. I can feel my inner cheerleader saying "Way to Go!!! You're IN here!!! You're DOING it!!!!"
Besides, most people in the gym aren't paying you any attention. They're focused on their own workout.
If it's any encouragement... this past weekend as I entered the gym, I heard someone singing VERY loudly. There was an AMAZING "curvier" woman on the elliptical working out and singing gospel music at the top of her lungs. No one was bothered!! In fact, most of us were giving her thumbs up. Hey, whatever gets you through!!!
YOU CAN DO THIS!!! The first step is the hardest.1 -
If it's any encouragement... this past weekend as I entered the gym, I heard someone singing VERY loudly. There was an AMAZING "curvier" woman on the elliptical working out and singing gospel music at the top of her lungs. No one was bothered!! In fact, most of us were giving her thumbs up. Hey, whatever gets you through!!!
That is so sweet and AWESOME for her.
I am like you, I have some bluetooth headphones and I crank up the music and tune the rest of the world out.
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There are plenty of ways to exercise that don't involve a gym. Buy some exercise DVD's or check them out from the library. Check out Youtube for exercises. Buy some weights and some running/walking/hiking shoes. Buy a bike.1
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You don't need a gym to get fit. Fitnessblender on YouTube is good and they are free! You can shuffle by time, muscle group, etc.
Keep walking. It's good exercise.
Use MFP to track calories.
Beach body have lots of at home dvds and a website subscription for more home workouts.
You can buy some home dumbells for weights and also do yoga for strength trying using your body weight.
I don't like gyms myself...1 -
Suck it up and go to the gym.
A good first step in developing some self-esteem and self-confidence is putting yourself out there.
It will get easier every time you walk in and start exercising because you will stop caring what other people think and focus on the task / exercises at hand.
If you keep "hiding" from the gym you will continue to feel like you don't belong instead of feeling like you have proven that you have as much right to be there as anyone else.
If you are in the gym and have the time and/or energy to worry about what other people think of you then you are not working very hard to reach your goals.1 -
Subscribe to John Glaude's YouTube channel. He was where you are and he's a super positive dude.
https://youtu.be/F3-N7DalNwQ 0 -
So either this is a troll or you have some deep seated issues that require counseling.
For reference I'm 5'8" and at the top of my bulk I hit 185- and if I do say so myself- I'm hotAF.
You are absolutely not fat. and there is no way you fat kind pant- so either you are a troll, you have respiratory issues which means you need to see a doctor, or you have a very very unhealthy and skewed view of what you look like- which means you need counseling.
Being said- you don't need a gym to get fit.
Go if you want- but if not- walk outside- workout at home- workout at a park.
Buy some fitness bands off Amazon (yay prime!).
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Body by you
You are your own gym
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all options for working out at home.4
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